What the Fuck?
Chapter 18

Copyright© 2013 by Old Man with a Pen

Nx 9637 ... subparticle 3n926 said, "You didn't like the changes."

"I never said that." I said.

"Well ... that's as may be ... but you never said you liked it ... so I brought us back."

I pondered for a bit. Lightbulb moment! "Stevie?"

"Nx 9637 ... subparticle 3n926."

"Stevie!" I grinned ... just a bit, "Come out, come out."

"No!"

"Stevie," it was even melodious. I grinned even more, "Stevie. I can see the pout."

"Can't." Nx 9637 ... subparticle 3n926 stamped her foot. Oh I know ... not literally ... figuratively ... except ... if one listened closely ... one could hear the heel hit the deck ... but it took a little imagination.

"Stevie, temper tantrums ain't allowed ... computers can't have tempers."

"Just goes to show, you don't know shit!"

"I know 'Shinola.' Does that count?"

"Researching! Shinola ... wax based leather treatment ... Shit from Shinola ... Archaic phrase ... Stop it! You are trying to make me laugh and it's working ... I'm mad at you! I want to be mad at you ... you scared me half to death." Stevie appeared ... she thumped me in the chest ... hard. "Bastard!"

With my arms around her she snuggled into my armpit (EWW).

"Don't do that again! And don't pretend you don't know what you did ... and if you don't, I'm NOT going to tell you!"

Completely and totally illogical. My Stevie is human!! She is a woman! Drat! Now I'll never know what she's doing!!

An hour or so later ... my shirt soaked down to my jeans ... Stevie said, "You can let me go now. I'm better."

I did ... she immediately whacked me in the chest again ... this thwack felt much different from the first. This one was a secure sort of whack as compared to the first one. That was a mad whack.

"The girls are sailing," Stevie pointed at the Lake..."I am sorry," she said to the nurse attendant ... who had just realized that down was in the direction of the big window and she was standing sideways, as it were. Disorienting ... very. Much lunch was exposed and it too fell to the deck and not 'down' as designated by the hatch pointing at the Lake ... dry heaves.

The mop and bucket appeared ... the mop performed its designated duty and the bucket waddled off towards the large opening in the hanger bay. The bucket wrung the mop and poured the water vomit mix out the hatch ... DOWN...

"AAARRRGGGHHH!!" exclaimed the nurse and she fled.

"I see all three boats in the corner..." and they were ... in the corner. "What, pray tell, are they sailing?" I asked.

"They wanted something new and unusual," Stevie said, "So I built them a two hander Cat."

I gave her a look I learned from my mother, "Two handed Catamarans are not 'unusual.'"

"Hundred footers are. They're leading," Stevie said.

"Leading? Leading what?"

"Chicago to Mackinac Race ... setting a record, looks like."

"Didn't anybody object?"

"Nope ... No limitation on size. I guess no one figured on a cat that large having automated controls. I believe ... let me check..."

A holo appeared where the hangar bay door was. The girls were tanning on the hard tramp between the hulls ... nude ... Mai-tais in hand.

The knot meter telltale pointed at 35 ... hauling ass ... and moving right smartly besides.

"Hi, ladies," I said.

"Hi, David," said the untwines.

"Having fun?" I asked.

"Winning too," they said.

A pair of naked ladies had a lightbulb moment of their own ... drinks flying they jumped out of the chairs and bounced ... and bounced ... and bounced in the area of the chest. Mouths making like fish from a broken aquarium they finally found voice.

"You're UP!!! Should we come home?" Like the twins they weren't, they both said, "We should come home!"

"Win the race first," said Stevie.

"Race? What race?" kidded Britt.

"This race," said Keirstann.

"Oh. Good idea."

They did.

 
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