Chapter 1

My brother was fucking Amber again. Him and a couple of his friends had gotten her drunk. It wasn't the first time, I knew that after hearing them talk about her all summer. But I'd never actually seen the girl before and I expected her to be ugly or something. Like nasty and not very clean, you know? Aren't sluts supposed to be skank dogs? That's what my bother called her sometimes, a skank dog, but now that I could see her ... Amber wasn't ugly at all.

I don't know about love at first sight or whatever, but that's what I felt. Love. Not only because I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, but the way she smiled and laughed. The way she moved, everything about Amber made me feel warm inside. She'd seemed nice at first, and completely normal, like any other girl my brother dated. She wore normal clothes, a blouse and skirt that didn't look slutty at all, and she liked to talk.

Amber would gesture a lot, and giggle constantly while she spoke. Most of it was about college and her friends there. Mike, my brother, would interrupt her constantly, reminding the girl to drink more of her rum and Coke. His buddies hadn't arrived yet, it was just the two of them in the living room, and she seemed completely at ease. She drank and talked, sometimes Mike would touch her thigh with his hand, but she'd push it away.

They didn't just throw off their clothes and start having sex, that's my point. Amber didn't act like a slut at all, not until after her third or fourth drink, and by then she wasn't pushing his hand away anymore. My brother started kissing her, telling Amber how pretty she looked and how much he loved her, stuff like that. She would laugh some more, drink some more, and kiss him back. The scene made my dick hard, but only because I wished it was me kissing her instead of Mike.

When he tried to pull her panties down, Amber told him no. She would cross her legs and turn away, slapping at his hands. That's when he started calling her a slut and a cocktease, and stuff like that. She couldn't really stop him anyway. My brother was a lot bigger than she was and he hadn't been drinking at all hardly. I probably should have done something, but I don't know what. I wanted to make him stop, but part of me wanted to see what would happen. It wasn't like I could fight him, since Mike was four years older than me and about twice my size. Maybe I should have called the police, but that thought never even entered my mind.

"No! No no no ... Stop! Don't! Let me go!" Amber kept saying the same words over and over, hitting Mike's shoulders and trying to kick him.

They rolled off the sofa and onto the floor with my brother on top. He forced his hips between Amber's legs, grabbing her arms and holding them over her head. He never hit her or anything, but she wouldn't stop saying no either. At least, not until Mike got his cock inside her.

"Nooooo..." she sighed, like air escaping a tire. She only grunted softly after that, her small body jerking in time with my brother's thrusting hips.

He hadn't even taken off his pants or removed Amber's skirt. They looked completely clothed, except I knew they weren't. From where I crouched at the top of the stairs, watching through the railing, I could see her lovely face contorting with pain at first, her blue eyes squinched shut and her pink lips parted with the corners turned down. That changed after a few minutes. She started nodding her head, smiling and licking her lips as she closed her legs around Mike's waist.

Her soft grunts turned into moans and my brother let go of her wrists. Amber held his shoulders and lifted her head to kiss his mouth. He began fucking her faster and the pleasure on the girl's face was obvious. She wriggled her hips and pulled him into her with her heels digging in the small of Mike's back. At one point Amber let out a sharp, high pitched yelp and her eyes widened, her whole body seeming tense for a few seconds and then relaxing. That's when she saw me and I almost had a heart attack.

Amber's eyes were focused on my face, but only for a second and then I had the impression she was looking through me. It was strange and I thought about going back to my room, but I didn't. She hadn't said anything to my brother and I only wanted to look at her forever.

Mike turned her over a short time later anyway, putting Amber on her hands and knees. He was fucking her from behind, holding her hips with the pleated skirt flipped over her back. The damp slapping sound filled the house, kind of a hollow sound too, as my brother's pelvis slapped her naked butt. By that time she was really into it and pushing herself against him with her fingers digging into the carpet. I didn't understand why she'd changed her mind like that. I'd honestly thought Mike had been raping her at first, but not anymore.

When Tommy and Darrel walked into the house, I shrank from the rail. They hadn't bothered knocking or anything. They knew my parents were gone for the weekend, I guess, and Mike didn't look surprised to see them. Not like Amber, who lifted her head and started shaking it vigorously. They laughed about having a party with her, but Amber had started telling them no again.

"Just relax," Mike said. "We just want to have a little fun. You like it anyway."

"No," Amber replied. "I just want to go home. Take me home."

But that was the last thing my brother wanted to do. He hadn't even stopped fucking her yet and I stared as Darrel unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. He pushed it into Amber's mouth. Like he grabbed her by the hair and just shoved his erection past her lips. She didn't say much at all after that and I'd never seen anyone get a blowjob before. I'd never seen anyone fuck either, but that's what they were doing.

Mike told everyone he was going to cum and I guess he did. My brother jammed himself into Amber hard and held himself there, arching his back and smiling at the ceiling while his balls unloaded in her pussy. Tommy called sloppy seconds, all three of them laughing, and as soon as Mike pulled out, he pushed his cock inside the girl's spermy hole with a loud sigh of pleasure.

I wanted to jerk off, but I didn't. I sat there for hours it seemed like, just watching as all three of the boys used her. While one of them fucked her pussy, another would fuck her mouth, and Amber would jerk off the other one. She wasn't being raped at all and I guess that's what made her a slut. Any girl who would let three guys do her at the same time couldn't have a whole lot of self-respect.

Part of me thought it might have been the liquor. She'd had a lot to drink in the beginning, and even after Darrel and Tommy showed up, Amber would drink half a glass of rum and coke in between sucking them off. She had to be totally wasted, I thought. So no one could really blame her, could they? And the more my brother and his friends fucked her, the more she seemed to like it.

"Hurry up!" she'd demand with a wet, panting giggle. "I need a cock!"

That's what she said at least once, after Darrel had cum in her pussy and Mike was trying to get his dick hard enough to put it in her for a third time. She'd sucked him off once, but mostly the guys seemed to like cumming inside her pussy. Amber had even swallowed his stuff. When my brother came in her mouth, he held her head with both hands, keeping her on his penis and urging her to eat his spunk. I guess she must have done it, too, because right afterwards she asked for something to drink.

They left her sleeping, kind of passed out on the floor, and it wasn't very late yet. My brother and his friends went downstairs to the rec room our dad had built. There was a bar down there and a pool table, a big screen television and all that. They were done with Amber, that's for sure. Tommy complained that his dick wasn't going to get hard again for a week. I waited until they were gone and I heard some music playing before I crept down the stairs.

Mike didn't know I was home. He was supposed to be watching the house, which meant watching me. Like our parents trusted him more than me because he was in college and I was still sixteen and in high school. I'd planned on spending the night at my best friend's house, but one of Kyle's little brothers had come down with Chicken Pox. I'd had it before, but his mom didn't want visitors when the kid was sick, you know. I'd been just about to tell Mike I was home when I realized he was with Amber, so I hadn't said a word.

Now I didn't know what to do. She was laying completely naked on her side. The guys had undressed her while they'd fucked her and Mike hadn't even bothered to put a blanket on the girl when they were done. Amber was a real mess. Her pussy looked red and puffy, kind of gaping open, with a lot of cum staining her thighs and tummy, and her back as well. The stuff oozed from her swollen pussy lips and already a small puddle of thin, grayish semen had formed on the carpet.

She had cum on her face. Her blonde hair looked dirty now, not shiny and golden the way it had been. Her body was flushed pink and she looked sticky. Her skin had a sweaty sheen to it, but she still looked amazingly beautiful to me. She shouldn't have, I know, but I was in love. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open. Amber snored softly and her lips and tongue had a cummy glaze like she'd been eating glue. Her tits were right there and Tommy had been biting her nipples, maybe the other guys as well, and they were fat and long, and very dark. She had hickeys all over her breasts, actually, and a couple on her neck.

Amber finally looked like the skank slut my brother liked to call her, but I knew she wasn't. I just wasn't sure what I should do. I stood there looking down at her and I did have the idea that I could probably fuck her. I wanted to, believe me, but she wasn't even awake. Worse, what if she did wake up and caught me? She'd never seen me before. She would probably scream rape and then Mike and his friends would come upstairs and probably pound me for fucking their girlfriend. Or even if they didn't care, which seemed sort of possible, Mike would still be pissed because I was home. It's fair to say we'd never been very close and we didn't like each other very much.

I thought maybe I could just take a picture. That would be something anyway. I could at least look at her again, every day if I felt like it, and that's all I really wanted. I felt it in my heart. It sounds dumb. I knew it at the time, how stupid I was being, but I couldn't help it. Looking at Amber reminded me of a girl named Nancy, my very first and only crush, except this was a thousand times stronger. I'd thought I loved Nancy, but I knew better now. I loved Amber. It felt like fate had brought her to me and I was glad, but I really wished the circumstances had been different.

I hated those guys for what they did to her and I knew it wasn't her fault, I just didn't know what I should do. So I just stood there looking down at her.

"Hey," she whispered, blinking her eyes and licking her lips.

"Oh!" I about jumped out of my socks. I guess I looked pretty funny because Amber giggled.

"I need to use the bathroom," she said, lifting her head and looking confused. Still smiling though, just sort of dizzy, and the girl was seriously drunk.

I almost didn't say anything. Part of me wanted to leave her there and go upstairs. She was naked. I'd been watching her have sex and it embarrassed me. I felt extremely nervous, like I didn't want her to get mad or hate me or anything. I figured as soon as Amber realized what had happened and what she looked like, she'd be embarrassed too. Nobody likes that and I'd take the blame for it. If I ran away, maybe she'd forget all about me and I could meet her again sometime and pretend like I didn't know a thing.

See, I wasn't planning on not seeing her again, that's the thing. In my heart, I knew I wouldn't be able to let her go. She made me feel like a hot air balloon ready to explode. I don't know how it is for other guys, but that's how it was for me. I wanted to talk to her and get to know her and be with her. Except I couldn't do any of that after she'd been gangbanged by my asshole brother and his two friends. All I could do was hide and pray that the girl was so drunk she'd forget all about me. Except I didn't.

"Help me," she said, lifting her arm. "What happened to, um..."

She couldn't even remember my brother's name. Amber giggled and lifting the girl to her feet was like picking up a sack of flour. She wasn't very big, not heavy at all, but I wasn't one of the school jocks either. Mike had gotten all the muscles, all I had were brains. Theoretically. I couldn't have proven it just then, however, not when I put my arm around Amber's waist and started walking her towards the stairs. My brother was going to be really pissed if he came upstairs and found her missing ... and then found me doing whatever it was we were doing. I didn't even know!

"I feel kinda sick," she decided about halfway up the stairs.

"We're almost there," I told her, praying Amber wouldn't puke. I'd have to clean it up and my stomach wasn't very strong.

"You're so nice," she said, smiling with her arm around my neck. "Cute too."

"Thanks," I said, and I knew she wasn't sober, but her words thrilled me to the core. No girl had ever called me cute before!

She wanted to talk, like she had with Mike earlier, and I didn't mind. I figured if she was talking, she wasn't puking. I only wished she wasn't so loud.

"I don't usually drink like this much, you know," she said, the words just tumbling out all in one breath. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should go home now, I think."

Amber tried to turn around, but we were already at the top of the stairs. I wasn't sure she'd be able to make it back down, even with my help. The last thing either of us needed was a broken neck, so I pulled her towards the bathroom.

"Use the bathroom first," I suggested, and that got her to nod.

"Yeah," she said. "I'm gonna throw up"

"Not here!" I hurried her down the hallway, wondering why I hadn't taken her to the bathroom downstairs.

But I knew why. I had no choice once she'd spotted me and I wanted to spend as much time with Amber as possible. If I got her upstairs, I could put her to bed. Not so I could have sex with her. I wasn't thinking about that anymore. I wanted to take care of her. The bathroom downstairs was tiny and it didn't even have a bathtub, just a small shower. I had thoughts of cleaning her up and then putting her in my bed. She deserved that, I thought, to be taken care of instead of abused. I wasn't supposed to be there anyway and if I heard Mike coming upstairs I could just hide. He'd think Amber had gotten into my bed all by herself. Maybe. I hoped.

That was my plan anyway.

It really sucks watching the girl you love barf. Amber puked as soon as she saw the toilet, practically falling into the bowl as she went to her knees. At least she hit the target and I wasn't sure what to do, so I just held her hair out of her face.

"You probably think I'm really stupid, huh?" she asked, gasping and spitting into the porcelain bowl.

"No," I said. "Uh-uh. I think you're beautiful."

"Right!" She lifted her head, giving me just a tiny smile before she had to puke again.

I guess that had been a pretty dumb thing to say under the circumstances. Nobody's beautiful when they're puking.

She let me wipe her face with a washcloth. Probably I should have left once she was done throwing up, but I didn't. Amber flushed the toilet and climbed clumsily onto it without even dropping the seat. She really had to pee and I blushed when I heard the loud hiss of her urine. She didn't look at me either, but sort of lay bent over on her knees. That's when I decided to get a washcloth for her, but she wouldn't take it. The girl only looked at me, still peeing as I swallowed hard and started wiping around her mouth.

"Nobody ever did that for me," she said.

I didn't say anything. I cleaned her face and by that time she'd finished peeing. I tried not to stare at her, but Amber was beautiful even then. Her tits looked bigger now as she stood up, but they weren't huge or anything. Like normal sized, except for her nipples. She must have been about an inch taller than me, if she was taller at all. We could have been the same height, actually, and I was 5' 4" at the time, give or take a little. She had a small waist and sort of narrow hips, slender shoulders and ... She looked like a girl. A very pretty one too, despite not being pretty just then.

I kind of stared at her for a few seconds as she stood up on rubbery legs.

"Why is the room moving?" she wondered, not sounding very happy about it.

I didn't have a lot of experience with drunk people, but I knew the best thing would be for her to sleep it off. There was no way I could get her into the bathtub and as much as I disliked the thought of Amber crawling into my bed with all that cum between her legs. With her dirty hair and sticky body and she really smelled like sex! As much as I didn't like it, there didn't seem to be any other choice. If I tried to clean her up first, the girl might just decide to pass out in the bathroom. I wasn't sure I'd be able to move her if that happened.

That's how I ended up putting Amber in my bed.

"You're so sweet," she mumbled, stroking my head with clumsy fingers as I laid beside her. She was naked under the covers. I was dressed on top of them just in case I had to run to my closet.

"Go to sleep," I told her. "You're okay now."

"Yeah," she sighed, closing her eyes. "I'm okay."

I didn't sleep at all, not until after my brother came upstairs looking for Amber. I hid in my closet and listened as he tried to wake her up. I guess Mike wanted to take her home or something, maybe take her back downstairs and fuck her some more, I wasn't sure. She refused to wake up though, at least enough to do what my brother wanted, so he gave up and turned off the light. He closed the door and I decided to lock it. That might seem suspicious, but at least I could sleep without him walking in on me.

I slept on my bed, next to Amber, and even though she had really bad breath ... I didn't care. I gave her a little kiss on the mouth, but only because I had to.

"I love you," I whispered, and then tried to sleep and eventually did. I even had a dream about her, too.

I woke up to see her eyes were open. They were pretty red maybe, bloodshot, but not dull. We were still laying side by side, me dressed and her under the covers. That hadn't changed. The sun was just starting to come up. It wasn't quite night outside, but that gray color that soaks into the world just before dawn. That was plenty enough light to see her face by and I blinked at her, neither of us moving at all. I wondered how long she'd been looking at me. Didn't drunk people sleep until noon?

"Hi," she said.

"Uh..." I had to think about that. "Hi."

"You're the guy in the bathroom, right?" she asked, whispering the words, and I nodded.

She hadn't forgotten everything, I realized, and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. I'd sort of planned on waking up before Amber did. I could sneak out of the house and come in like I'd just left Kyle's, eat some cereal, watch some Saturday morning Bugs Bunny, and pretend like I didn't know anything. l could even go upstairs and wonder why Goldilocks was sleeping in my bed. If I wanted to, I mean, but I probably wouldn't have done that.

Now I couldn't do any of that. Amber was staring right at me and she remembered me from the bathroom.

"Did we do it?" she asked, looking unhappy, even nervous. I suppose waking up in a strange boy's bed will do that to a girl. Especially if the boy is there.

"You mean..." I shook my head. "No! I just helped you get in bed. I swear, I didn't do anything."

"Okay," she said, sucking on her lips. "Thank you."

"Uh, sure. Yeah." My heart was in my throat. I could barely get the words out. I wanted to hug her, like just hold her and tell her it was alright.

"Do you know where my clothes are?" she wondered, moving around under the sheets. "Oh."

"What?"

"I think I made a mess," Amber said softly. "Do you have a towel or something?"

The situation was extremely awkward. All that cum had leaked out of her during the night, I discovered later, that's the mess she was talking about. Amber had been sleeping on a huge wet spot and even in the dim light I could see her cheeks darken with humiliation. The longer I sat there, basically trapping Amber in my bed, the worse it would be for her. I didn't have to be psychic to know that. I would have done anything to spare her feelings and I went to find her the best towel we had.

I found her clothes as well, tip-toeing through the house to bring them upstairs. Amber took a shower and I waited for her in my room, pretending not to notice the stained sheet or the musky smell. I thought about stripping the bed, but I was afraid that would only make the situation worse somehow. Like she'd know that I knew, so I feigned ignorance and stood just inside my bedroom watching the closed door to the bathroom. As soon as Amber cracked it open, I gave her back her clothes without a word.

"My blouse is kind of ripped," she whispered, peeking around the door. "Do you think I could borrow a t-shirt or something?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "Just a second."

Amber's blouse had lost all but one of the buttons. We were about the same size, like I said, the only real difference being her tits and my slightly wider shoulders. I gave her my favorite t-shirt. It had the London Calling album cover on the back. I liked the Clash a lot and that was their best album, I thought. Amber must have thought so too.

"The Clash?" She smiled at me. "Really? Cool."

You don't meet a lot of girls anywhere who are into music like that. All the girls I knew listened to music that came and went like McDonalds French fries, you know? I mean, maybe it's no big deal, but being in love like I was, just the idea that Amber had even heard of the Clash got me excited. Like maybe we actually had something in common, something we could talk about and share while we looked for other things. Or it could have been that I was just fooling myself. How could a girl like that, a woman really, have anything in common with me?

"Do I look okay?" she wondered ten minutes later. I'd been wondering what was taking her so long.

"You look nice," I replied, but I really wanted to tell Amber that she looked incredibly, amazingly beautiful.

"Where's Mike?"

"My brother?" I frowned, hoping she didn't want to see him again. "He's asleep."

"He's your brother?" Amber smiled, still standing in the bathroom and shaking out her damp, blonde hair with her fingers. "You don't look like him."

"Yeah." I shrugged.

"Well, I'd better go," Amber said. "I'll give your shirt to Mike when I see him again."

"You can keep it," I said, trying desperately to think of something else. "Are you hungry? Do you want some breakfast or anything?"

"Noooo..." She rolled her blue eyes. "My stomach isn't up for that. Is there a bus stop around here?"

"What? I can give you a ride," I told her. "I don't mind."

"Really?" Amber seemed to consider that for a second. I didn't know how far away she lived, but she probably wasn't too thrilled with the idea of a bus ride first thing Saturday morning. I didn't even know if the busses were running yet.

"I've got a license," I said, and then kicked myself because it made me sound like a high school kid.

"Okay." Amber smiled and nodded her head. "Thank you."

My brother was going to bury me in the backyard if he found out I stole his car, but this was love. I just had to find his car keys and that turned out to be pretty easy since they were sitting on the kitchen table.

"What's your name?" she asked, sitting in the passenger seat of Mike's Thunderbird while I drove super carefully.

I'd only gotten my license two months before and if I got in an accident ... I tried really hard not to think about that.

"Fox," I said, half expecting her to laugh. A lot of people did, so I decided to explain it right away. "My mom watched a lot of X-Files when she was pregnant."

"Good thing you're not a girl," she teased me, and I kind of blinked at her. "Scully? That would suck."

"Oh!" I laughed. "She probably would have named me Dana though."

"Well, Fox is a cool name anyway. I like it," she said. "I'm Amber."

"I know," I said, and then caught the look on her face. "I mean, I heard my brother talk about you before."

"You did?" She frowned and I turned beet red. "What did he say about me?"

"Um..." I shrugged, wanting to lie, but not wanting to get caught if I did.

"Never mind," she sighed. "I can imagine."

"He's a jerk," I said, mostly to myself.

"Yeah, he is," Amber said, turned away and looking out the window. I suspected she was blushing too.

"So, um ... Do you like the Clash?" I wondered.

It seemed like a good idea to change the subject, except then I had to look at her in that t-shirt. Like a reflex thing, you know? She looked great and it was just tight enough to really show off her tits. Ambers nipples too, because the guys had really given her some serious hickeys there and they were still swollen and poking against the black cotton noticeably. Her skirt was red, short and pleated, and looking even shorter than it was as she sat in the seat next to me. I couldn't help but notice how soft and smooth her thighs looked, especially on the insides, and ... She caught me, of course.

I was checking her out, even though I hadn't meant to, and Amber crossed her arms over her breasts.

"They're okay," she answered curtly, not smiling at all. I'm pretty sure she was annoyed, if not totally angry, and I stared at the road.

We didn't say anything else for the rest of the drive, except when Amber gave me clipped directions. I'd totally blown it. She probably figured I was just like Mike and his friends, that all I cared about was fucking her. I wasn't thinking about that at all, however. I just wanted to be friends with her again, if that's what we'd been. I liked to think so anyway. I mean, we didn't even know each other, but I'd at least given her a reason to trust me, right? And then I'd blown it just because Amber looked so good sitting there that I couldn't help but admire her.

I stopped in front of her college dorm feeling miserable inside.

"Thanks for the ride," she said, and I kind of shrugged. I couldn't even look at her so when Amber kissed me on the cheek it came as a total surprise.

I turned my head quickly, but she was already getting out of the car. "Wait!" I said.

"What?" Amber leaned down to look at me, ready to slam the door shut.

"Can I call you?" I asked. "Sometime?"

She narrowed her eyes and didn't say anything. My heart was beating so fast I thought I'd puke. Or maybe that was my stomach all knotted up. I'd never felt so frightened of anything in my life. I'd stolen my brother's car for this girl. I loved her and she could squash me like a bug if she wanted to. I almost looked away. I wanted to drop my eyes so badly it hurt, but I didn't. She stared at me and I held my breath.

"Why?" Amber asked, maybe wondering why I'd been nice to her.

Perhaps the girl was curious as to why a guy would like her after seeing her drunk and fucked by three guys, left in a puddle of cum to sleep it off. Or possibly she wanted to give me a chance to explain why I'd been acting like an asshole and staring at her tits. It was a very complicated question, more like six questions all at once, and I had to find the right answer to the right one. But really, there was only one answer I could give and if she laughed I'd probably have to kill myself.

"Because I love you," I said, the way only a teenage boy can. Like nothing else matters.

"You don't even know me," Amber said, but she was smiling too. It made me brave.

"I want to," I said. "That's kinda why I want you phone number."

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"I'm twenty-one," she told me. "Almost twenty-two."

"When's your birthday?" I asked, knowing I had to keep her talking. I couldn't let her close the door without getting a date.

"November fifth," she replied. "When's yours?"

"Last July, um ... the twenty-seventh."

"So you're barely sixteen," Amber said, pulling her hair out of her face as a the breeze picked it up. She looked amazing just doing that.

"Kind of," I allowed, "but everybody says I act older than I am."

"Yeah?" She actually giggled. "Who says that? Your mom?"

"What?" I dared a frown. "No. Everybody. I don't know, just ... I think you're amazing."

"You do?" Amber sighed. "I wasn't too amazing last night, was I?"

"That wasn't your fault."

"You're sweet," she said, "but it kinda was my fault. You think you can score off me if we go out?"

"What?" I was so not ready for that question that I wasn't even sure what it meant for a second. I guess Amber realized it too.