Chapter 48

Monday morning I did my workout and then showered and then I kicked April out of bed so she could do her own run. I dressed and made my way over to the school infirmary. Since it was early in the day and early in the year, I was the only one there. I filled out some forms and they showed me in. I told the doctor about the kicks to my kidneys and the blood in my urine. He poked me and listened to my back and front. I told him that the blood was either gone or just about gone. He had me pee in a cup and gave me a prescription to take for a week in case there were complications. He said that he wasn't expecting anything bad but if there was he'd give me a call for a return visit. I thanked him and went on my way.

It was only 9 AM so I grabbed my bag and went to the lab to develop the film. While there, I did four or five rolls. After they dried, I put them in the protective sleeves and went back home to wait for Darcy. She came in and asked what I'd done.

"I had some coffee and then jacked off while I thought about you. I've kept my hands to myself for the last ten minutes so I'd be ready for a blowjob when you got here." I said.

"You lazy bastard."

"Yep, lazy and horny."

"I'm so tired because I've marched back and forth all morning. During that time, I must have walked two miles." She said.

April walked in and said "hey" to Darcy, and then she turned to me. "Thanks for kicking me out of bed. I needed to do my run. I'm not as good as You're about getting up at 6:30 to do all those push-ups and sit-ups then run and swim like you are. I stopped by after my run. Where were you?"

"I went to the doctor to get my kidneys checked and then developed some film so I could make prints with Darcy this afternoon."

"How far did you run this morning? I was dying and I only ran four miles."

"I did nine and then swam 1,500 yards since classes haven't started yet." I said.

Darcy said, "You're an ass."

"You're just figuring that out?" April asked.

"Yep. He was my hero until now. He said he was lying around jacking off all morning."

"He's the only guy I know who doesn't jack off at least once a day."

"Really?" Darcy asked.

"I'm serious. He'd rather hop on a plane to New York to fuck me or hire a HOOKER in New Orleans than use his hand."

"I'm lazy. You both know that."

"Did you really run nine miles this morning? I was complaining about marching for two." Darcy asked.

"Well as April just said, I didn't have my instrument in my hands so I could see where two miles could be a lot under those conditions." I replied.

"Shut up. Can we really develop pictures today? I so want to do that."

"Yes, we can after lunch. I told you that I only had coffee today and I didn't want to eat without you. Do you have your classes and books all taken care of and what about orientation?" I asked.

"Done, done and done. We have special counselors for the band to accommodate practices and traveling," she said.

"Just like Dani. Must be nice."

"If you want, I can fix us some lunch. Do you like tuna salad on toast?"

"Sure. You want some April?"

"Sounds good. Can I help?" April asked.

"Naw, I got it. Just sit down and relax. You ran this morning too." Darcy commented.

I said, "Don't make her feel good about it. She was going to skip it and then she cut it a mile short. And she didn't spend all morning exercising her tongue, mouth and lips to give better blowjobs like some other girl I know."

"Britt, fuck you. I was going to run but I just wanted to wait until just after I woke up. I'm still getting back into my routine."

Darcy said, "I'm on scholarship to do those exercises. The benefits you derive are just a bonus Mr. Horny and Lazy."

We all laughed and then talked about normal crap as we ate lunch. After lunch, Darcy and I went over to the lab to develop some prints. She actually wanted copies of all of hers. She also asked if she was going to make it on my wall.

"Darcy, out in the public spaces, I try not to have any that show faces unless I have permission. In my room, I have some others that are more private. Some of yours are very nice artistically speaking but you can see your face. Would you want Kari and others to see you tied up and spread-eagled? If you want we can make a print that crops your head so that you can only see your body."

She said, "I think they are hot. I want to put them up in my room."

"What if your parents came to visit or your roommate had friends or her family over?" I asked.

"I understand what you're saying but millions see the girls in Playboy as does their friends and family. My body type is different and I've never thought of myself in a sexual way as being desirable. You've changed that in me and I can see the look or longing in your pictures. It makes me feel good and it makes me feel sexy. I mean really sexy for the first time in my life." she said, "You do want me don't you?"

"You know I do baby. It's obvious that we both grew up in a weird relationship, with those around us -- sexually that is. I skipped two grades. All the girls looked down on me and all the girls my age were immature. I ended up getting with older women but have always felt like I missed so much during my youth. Your attitude and your body make me feel like I'm getting a second chance. If I didn't have my fifteen-year plan in place, I might have fallen head over heels for you. I've never been so drawn to someone." I said.

We were just waiting for things to dry. She came into my arms and asked, "What is your fifteen-year plan?"

"Well, I just told you that relationships were always awkward for me because of age and maturity gaps. I decided a long time ago that I'd live my life for me. You met Tiffany. She has plans for her life but also plans for Andy. Andy has three options. He can accept Tiffany's plan for his life, create his own plan or try to combine the two plans. I decided that I'd live my plan and then see what I want to do. As a result, I'm bad boyfriend material because I'll be living my life plan for me and that includes a lot of work and not time to cater to your plan or anyone else's plan. If I merge my plan with someone else's it will still be ninty-nine percent mine and one percent someone else's. I may miss something but I have ideas, goals and plans that I want to see become a reality. I know that I come off as a selfish ass but I'm willing to live with that."

"I think it's cool and sad at the same time. I think that you're almost denying yourself so you think that you're being true to yourself. It's sad, because I know that there are many people out there, who willingly would merge their plans with yours, but only a slave would go for a ninety-nine to one percentage mix. I have plans too and I wouldn't give them up without a fight so I can see where you're coming from."

"Do you want to leave now or do you want to see if you can break me?" I asked.

"I don't want to break you. I'll break my heart later when you leave but I'll not try to stop you. You'll have to promise that when you finish with your plan that you'll find me and give me a chance to try to see if we can make the merge. It is possible that I may already be married with kids but I'd still want the chance to decide at that time. When you finish school, I'll become the momma bird pushing you out to land on your ass. If you don't work on your plan I'll be pissed." She said.

"I promise that we can see what is going on in fifteen years and figure out what the next fifteen might hold for us. OK?"

"Yes fifteen years. For now though, I plan to hang these pictures on my wall and you're free to hang any on your wall that you believe are worthy of being there." She said.

"We can ride over to the frame shop with these and some others and then I'll have Penny over to do the hanging."

Darcy asked, "Who's Penny?"

"She's the decorator I used for the apartment."

"Sounds good."

We dropped off the pictures I wanted to have framed and the woman there gave me the look. I asked, "Is there a problem or are you just trying to figure out how to ask me how you can become a model for me?"

"No, I was just wondering how old you are. You look so young."

Her tone and attitude were making me mad.

"I think you'd be good as a model. Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked.

"I couldn't do something like that," she said.

"Once you overcome your fears, you own them. If you own your fears then you own your own life. If you own your life you can do whatever you want or dream about."

"That sounds good but what does it mean?"

"You work here for someone else framing pictures. You could own your own frame shop but then you still might be afraid to fail or to ask someone to finance your dreams. You might have other dreams but have abandoned them to earn an income. Fear makes people do things that they would otherwise not do. Have you ever been behind someone driving up to a green light and their break lights come on? They're afraid the light might change so they start to brake. They have a green light so the only option open to them to go forward, not to brake."

"I like working here."

"When you were a girl did you dream of working in a frame shop?"

"No, I wanted to become an actress but I wasn't good enough."

"So do you like to act or did you just want to make the millions of dollars?"

"I love to act."

"Are you part of a community theater or are you taking any classes?"

"No."

I said, "Some local person probably told you that you weren't good enough, which resulted in you abandoning your dreams because you were afraid that if you kept trying you'd fail or someone else would tell you that you weren't good enough. I love to swim but I'm not fast enough to swim in college. I love to run but I'm not fast enough to run in college. Do you know what I do every morning from 6:30 to 8 AM? I run and I swim." I don't plan to do either for a living but I still do them for me. I can join running clubs or swim clubs but I'm happy doing it by myself. I do run in races on the weekends. I'm not afraid to lose or discover that someone else is better than I am.

I think you should come out and act out some scenes for me to see if you can convince me that you love something you may not care for. I could have you naked on all fours with a big dog up on your back looking like it's fucking you hard. Could you act as if you were having an orgasm caused by a German Sheppard penetrating you? Could you show the pictures to others and say, 'See what a good actress I am.' Would you be willing to do that?"

"I don't think so. I'd be afraid of what others would think."

"I think we need people to frame pictures and they get paid to frame pictures. We need garbage men and we pay people to collect garbage. I'm not saying you're a failure or a bad person but I don't want you judging me for doing what I want to do. What I'm not afraid to do."

I turned to Darcy, "Hey beautiful will you take off your top for a minute?"

She took off her shirt at a normal speed and stood there. I smiled at her. "Thank you baby. Please get dressed now."

I turned back to the store manager. "Do you think she'll be afraid to ask for a job or a promotion or a raise? Do you think that she'll be afraid of what others think as she goes after her dreams? She'll be center stage at Carnegie Hall one day playing "Take Five" and not worrying about what the audience thinks. She'll be playing her best knowing she's playing her best."

"I'm sorry for the lecture. When can I pick up the completed pictures?"

"Friday, is that soon enough?"

"That's fine. If you change your mind about posing for me, let me know."

When we got out to the Harley, I hugged Darcy and told her that she was an awesome girl. I apologized for ranting inside.

Darcy said, "She may not have gotten what you were saying but it made me feel stronger. I loved what you said. Do you have a dog? I'll pose for you."

"No but I'll bring my pony back after Thanksgiving you slut." I said.

As I was riding back, I pulled into a used car lot and looked around at what they had. I saw a 1967 Mustang Shelby Fastback. They had it listed at $1,500. I knew that I'd be able to sell this in twenty-five years for $20,000+. I went through the motions of kicking the tires and the sales guy came out.

He came up and shook my hand. "My name is Desmond. She's a beauty. Would you like to take her for a test drive?"

I said, "Sure, but can I see under the hood first?" He opened it up and both the inside and outside, looked very clean. He turned her over and she purred. I had Darcy get behind the wheel. We took it around the block. Everything felt good and sounded good.

We came back and he said, "What do you think?"

"Not bad for a twelve year-old-car. The price seems somewhat high. It was only $2,700 when it was new." I said.