Chapter 8: Learning To Be Free

The three teenagers sat at their campfire, all deep in thought and silently staring in the flames. Roban had just made a decision that essentially would alter his and his sister’s future, and by proximity that of a whole nation. It was a quick decision, in reaction to facts unknown to him a day before, but he would stand by it. Therefore, for Roban, sitting deep in thought was understandable. A new future demanded planning, lots and lots of planning. In other words, he was frustrated and his mind was searching for an escape route.

“I’ll search for some more firewood,” Roban said, stood up and left into the woods.

Athea nodded and Denyssa just stared at his back as he left. Denyssa had stared at him in a mix of fright, curiosity and awe since they had left Hithad this afternoon.

“Do you think he will rape me?” Denyssa asked Athea when Roban couldn’t be heard anymore.

“WHAT?” Athea cried out surprised.

“Your brother, he is a Norgar and you know they always do that to the women when they are raiding. Since there are only you and me, I guess he will rape me first,” she explained her reasoning.

Athea stared at Denyssa trying to remember why she wanted her to come with them. A moment later she answered.

“Makes sense, but you could ask him when he’s back, just to be sure.”

Athea thought her answer would satisfy Denyssa, so she could continue to think about her future, but no such luck.

“It will be my first time!” Denyssa excitedly proclaimed.

“Your first time to be raped?” Athea asked annoyed.

“My first time at all!”

“Do you want my sympathy, or should I congratulate you in advance?”

“I’m a bit scared, your brother is huge. You saw what he did to those other warriors! Do you think he will beat me badly?” Denyssa continued ignoring the question.

“The last time I saw my brother, until today, was eight years ago. At that time he was reading bedtime stories to me every evening. So I might be a bit biased. Just shut up, nothing will happen to you!” Athea finished angrily.

“Sorry, I guess I’m a bit messed up today. The things I saw today ... I don’t even know if my family is still alive ... or where we are going. What will become of me...” Denyssa turned back to the flames, silent again.

Surprised by the change in Denyssa, but relieved the silly talk was finished, Athea returned to thinking about her future. What did she want to do with her life? Was she really free to do whatever she wanted to do? Every single day of her whole life someone else had told her what to do. First it was her mother then her mistress, Denyssa’s mother. When Athea thought about the mistreatment at the hand of Denyssa’s family - the whole family! - she looked over at Denyssa. For a short moment she smiled a little evilly. Leaving her evil thoughts behind she continued where she left off. She wasn’t used to making her own decisions, she would learn, but for now she should just follow Roban’s lead. At that moment she could hear him returning.

“I just realized I only have that one blanket you are using already. I will be good with my coat and clothes, I think, but we should get more blankets. Maybe horses for you two; you’ll also need some new clothes and other things too, I guess. I’ve no idea how far away the next village is, but we should find one within a week or so,” he pondered while putting some more wood on the fire.

On the other hand it would be a nice new experience to lead for once, Athea thought. Somehow she had the feeling Roban wouldn’t mind letting her try.

The night wasn’t too bad. No one was raped and no one froze. Athea wasn’t used to sleeping close to someone. She felt a little awkward falling asleep next to an equally awkward Denyssa. Apparently sleeping cold bodies don’t care much about modesty. Athea awoke snuggled up closely to Denyssa. Arms wrapped around her, the bigger girl was spooning Athea’s smaller frame. She even had a hand on her tits. Athea was surprised how nice it felt to be held so intimately by someone else. To feel her tit being held in someone else’s soft hand was especially pleasurable.

That led Athea to a new realization. She had absolutely no concept of physical intimacy. She often couldn’t prevent hearing the rutting of Denyssa’s parents, but she never thought of it as anything else but disturbing noises. Sometimes she had to listen to Denyssa or other girls swooning about someone, but she never felt that way about anyone of the village scum. That was probably understandable the way they treated her. The tenderest thing she could hope for was a pinch at her ass, if she wasn’t fast or careful enough to avoid coming too close to someone. For Athea the only remotely pleasurable thing in a physical context was watching a pretty girl now and then. There weren’t that many in Hithad, but Denyssa for example was very pretty and sometimes Athea enjoyed watching her. It was way more fun than listening to her. Maybe she was that way. She had heard rumors about women who were like that. She couldn’t be sure though, fourteen years with literally no experience. Maybe her new freedom could help with that too.

Denyssa apologized quietly after waking up, when she noticed the position of her hand.

“I didn’t mind. Who knows, maybe soon I will need to apologize.”

After Athea’s cryptic response she was a bit puzzled, but left it at that. Soon they were on their way again, north, to an unknown future.

They traveled at a slow but steady pace through the rough and cold winter landscape of Vernya. Roban told Athea about his last years in Falkath, his time in Ghota and a lot about his time traveling and searching for her. Of course Denyssa was attentive listening as well. Watching him Athea couldn’t help the feeling that as much as he told her, there was much more he hid from her for some reasons. Athea didn’t want to talk about her years in Hithad and gave him superficial answers on direct questions. Denyssa wasn’t any more forthcoming for her own reasons. Aside from talking and walking nothing interesting happened until they camped for the night.

Roban had just started a fire when they saw a group of people coming their way. Athea was as scared as Denyssa for a moment, but she relaxed when she saw Roban looking curious but not scared at all. That was his domain. As long as Roban wasn’t scared she would stay calm too. Strangely she felt like it would be insulting to Roban if she showed fear to strangers in his presence. On second thought, it didn’t feel strange at all. It was a part of her new life, her future. She wasn’t a slave anymore, scared to be beaten by her masters. She was free now! She just had to learn to live like that.

Coming closer Athea could identify the members of the group as four men and two women. The men looked a lot like the ones raiding Hithad, but the colors of their clothes were different. All raiders wore clothes with similar color pattern. These men did too, so it probably was a clan marking. Athea was surprised about the order of greetings when they finally reached them. It was one of the women who started the introductions, and she was talking to her!

“Guid eenin, nice tae meit ye!”

Athea understood it was a greeting. Luckily the woman continued in common language.

“You’re traveling the lands of the Callghannen Clan. I’m Sahein Callghannen; I’m with my sister Deynna, my brother Ghury, and my cousins Kheinen, Brehk and Franyk.”

Athea needed a second to fight the temptation to look at Roban, but then she answered.

“I am Athea from Falkath; I am with my friend Denyssa from Hithad and my brother Roban. Please join us and let’s talk a bit.”

The men sat down quickly. Grinning they pulled food and bottles from bags they were carrying on their backs.

Sahein was watching Athea rather intently for a moment. The men were too, but spread their leering evenly between her and the blushing Denyssa.

“We heard the Canbierra clan was searching a girl looking just like you, would you know anything about that?” Sahein asked.

“My brother Roban was actually searching for me, the Canbierra’s wanted to help. That’s all I know,” Athea answered.

“I for one am mighty glad he found you. He even had the good sense to take your pretty little friend too. A man after my own heart!” Sahein’s brother Ghury exclaimed.

“Hear! Hear!” His cousins toasted to that.

One of them was staring at her, Brehk, if she remembered correctly. He was a little rough-looking, with a full beard, but probably the youngest of their group, maybe about twenty or twenty-two.

“I’ve never seen such pretty hair in my life and would love to see more of it,” he said after a while.

“You’ve to excuse the men folk, two days with only a sister and cousin around and they start to slobber on everything. Of course you and your friend are very pretty indeed, so I hope you’re not offended by them.” Grinning and nodding at Roban Sahein continued. “Your brother looks a little tense at the moment. I know other people have different customs, but the Clans from Ghallan are rather open with ... let’s say our affection, especially if it comes to pretty foreigners. We don’t meet many of you out here.” Looking back at Roban she grinned. “But you already know that if you were with the Canbierra before. I can’t even imagine Ynerca not living up to our standards of hospitality!”

Athea looked at Roban too now. His expression may have been tense before, but at the moment he looked rather sheepish and a bit guilty. Somehow his expression amused her. The whole situation was so strange and new. Maybe it was the strong-tasting beverage she just had tasted when it was offered to her, but maybe what she felt was the first taste of what it meant to be free. There was obviously something Roban hadn’t told her. She felt a bit bawdy, wanted some fun and it seemed harmless to her.

“No, not offended at all.” She smiled. “Denyssa, what do you say; do you want one or two of those fine young men?”

She looked at Denyssa whose eyes where wide open staring at her like she had never seen her before. She was as pale as a ghost but tried to say something, then closed her mouth again before any sound could be heard.

“Seems my friend is undecided at the moment. I would...”

Athea was interrupted by a deep growling sound coming from the left. She concluded her brother wasn’t looking sheepish and guilty anymore. This was fun! For eight years she was a frightened little girl, practically daily beaten into submission. For the first time since she was a little girl she felt safe again. Maybe it was childish, she wasn’t interested in any of the men and just wanted to tease. Roban, Denyssa, those strange clan people, just everyone. For one moment she wanted to feel again like the princess she was as a little girl. To be the center of everyone’s attention and maybe to prove to herself that she wasn’t broken.

“Roban, I told you, if you growl at guests again, you’ll have to wear your leash the next time we have company!” A quick look at him confirmed he was now staring as dumbfounded at her as Denyssa. “Before I was so rudely interrupted, I wanted to say, I would...” She felt and enjoyed all the looks were on her “ ... sadly have to decline any company at the moment. Don’t feel offended, I’m just a young girl and haven’t decided what I want, yet.” She finished smiling, to the disappointed groaning of the Callghannen men. She didn’t even have to lie about that!

The two sisters grinned amused at her. “Serves our brother and cousins right. Men become lazy and sloppy if you easily give away what they should work hard for and worship! Maybe we should take a leaf from your book, but they’d whine and mope all day and no work gets done.” Looking at Roban Sahein asked, “I guess that also means he isn’t allowed to come out and play with us, wearing a leash and all that, right?”

“I’m sorry, but you saw how badly he behaved before. I can’t reward such a behavior. He also never mentioned Ynerca, and I want to find out what happened while he was the guest of the Canbierra clan. I just hope he didn’t do anything embarrassing there as well.” Athea evilly grinned at Roban answering Sahein.

They drank and ate some more, but it was late already and it was time to sleep. The women slept close to the dying campfire and the men rolled out their blankets in a loose circle around them. They even had a spare blanket to share for Roban. Of course he slept closest to Athea and Denyssa.

“Why did you do that?” Whispered Denyssa just after they lay down together.

“Just for fun I suppose. I don’t really know why.”

“You can’t do that! If you tease men like that they will just take you,” Denyssa hissed.

“Sure I can, I just did, remember? No one will just take me. You should stop thinking like that too. I know your father beat your mother. I guess many men in Hithad did that to the women, for sure to the slaves. This is not Hithad, and I am no slave anymore! Stop talking like rape and beatings would be the only way men and women could be together. Or do you believe these clan men are beating the women too?” Athea replied.

“Maybe not their family, but those clan men are the same men who are raiding the villages of Vernya, and they do rape the women!” Denyssa retorted.

“You’re right, they do. I guess I just don’t want to be a victim any longer. You should decide that for yourself as well.”

The next morning after breakfast the groups parted again. Sahein told them their home, Rhagneyr Castle, was just two days to the northwest, and they could get clothes, provisions and horses at the village. So they decided to travel to Rhagneyr next.

They were camping at a little river that evening. They went to sleep like usual by now. Athea and Denyssa shared a blanket while Roban lay down close by. However, Athea wanted to talk to Roban in private without Denyssa listening in. She waited until she was sure she was asleep and carefully, not to wake up Denyssa again, crawled quietly over to Roban.

“Roban, wake up, I need to talk to you,” she whispered in his ear when she reached him.

“Forget it Athea, I won’t wear a leash.”

Seemingly he wasn’t asleep at all, but didn’t open his eyes, just grunted, and was quiet again. Athea giggled, slipped under his blanket and lay her head on his shoulder.

“Roban, did you have sex with her? That Ynerca woman?” Athea shyly asked.

Roban kept quiet for a moment and then sighed.

“Yeah”

After that they were both silent for a while. Finally Athea spoke again.

“I never have done anything like that. I thought about it the last few days. Shouldn’t I want it too?”

“You’re my little sister; you shouldn’t even want to talk about it!” He sounded a bit distressed for some reason.

“But you’re the only one I can ask!”

“Couldn’t you talk to Denyssa?” he asked a bit pleadingly

“You wouldn’t want that! I think she is more messed up than I am. If I listened to her, I’d probably ask the next man we meet, if he’d like to rape me, please!” Came her insistent reply. Roban just groaned about that.

“Roban, have you heard about women who prefer to be with other women?”

“Yeah”

“Do you think they are weird? Please, don’t just answer with a ‘Yeah or No’,” Athea pleaded.

“I think that’s not weird at all! I would do exactly the same if I were a woman. The women preferring men are the weird ones!”

Athea had to laugh, he sounded deathly serious.

“I was wondering if I am like that too. I always liked watching pretty girls, and the last two days...” she whispered directly in his ear now, “ ... I like sleeping next to Denyssa. We always wake up really close, she’s so warm and soft, and one morning she held my right titty in her hand. I liked that too!” She whispered urgently to make him understand.

“Yeah, thank you for that. Sounds good to me too. So what are you worrying about?” Roban asked.

“I don’t know, I feel strange. Denyssa is pretty, isn’t she? I just don’t know how to figure out what I want, or what I am. I was thinking about it the whole day,” Athea sighed.

“I already said I don’t think it’s strange. Just imagine being with her the next time you play with yourself. If you enjoy the fantasy maybe you should try that for real,” Roban suggested.

“Play with myself? I’ve never done that either,” Athea disclosed.

“What? Never, really? You convinced me, you are strange! It was practically all I did the last three years before I left for Ghota. That and training. Now I couldn’t live three days without any relief.”

“That’s stupid; you went without relief for much longer already. You left the Canbierra clan almost a month ago.”

“Yeah”

Suddenly Athea understood and giggled.

“So that’s why you always leave searching for firewood!”