Chapter 10: Nina Starts to Learn

Nina's encounter with Erin at the sports store weighed on her mind for the next few days. She realized that she had almost been forced into a lesbian experience that would have left her feeling degraded. She also couldn't understand her feelings before the events in the dressing room. Watching the motion of Erin's ass, and allowing Erin to see under her skirt, had happened almost automatically. At the time, she hadn't initially realized that she was even doing these things.

The dressing room events bothered her the most, because she had allowed Erin to have the freedom of her body. Erin had not only touched her breasts, but she had rubbed all over them, and played with Nina's nipples. This had obviously not been the kind of accidental touch that occurred between women in clothing stores; this had been very deliberate. And finally, Erin's attack on her pussy had overwhelmed her; the climax when it came had been very strong, and sudden, especially as it had been forced upon her so harshly.

As Nina replayed the events, she compared them to the manner in which Gretchen had brought her to orgasm. Yes, the first time had been somewhat forced upon her, since she was strapped down, but her feeling was always that Gretchen was doing it out of an attraction for Nina, and not in order to extract something from her, or to control her. There had been no fear with Gretchen; even the temporary loss of freedom had served to elevate her arousal, not diminish it. With Erin, Nina had been afraid, and the form of dominance had been much harsher, with a threat of violence behind it. 'Maybe I need to talk it over with Gretchen; she could probably explain it better to me, ' she thought.

As another few days went by, Nina spent more time doing research into dominance and submission, and the exertion of control by one person over another, either through words, or physical deeds, or natural disposition. She spent hours each evening reading about bondage, flogging, restraints of various types, and mechanical and electrical devices.

She learned how many of these things were used to inflict pain to one degree or another, but also how they could be used purely to bring pleasure to the recipient. She learned that it was often a degree of force, or even something as simple as a turn of a screw. One or two turns brought awareness to nerves, and heightened sensation. A few more turns brought pain, often very low level, building on the pleasure. Another turn or two would convert the pleasure into jolting stabs of white-hot agony.

As she read an article about nipple clamps, she realized that they were a perfect example of this kind if device. Some obviously existed only for pleasure, because they were so thin and flexible that there was no way they could cause pain. Others had stronger jaws that would border on the edge of real pain, and finally there were those with strong springs and metal teeth that would likely even draw blood, while being too painful to imagine. As she read, one hand involuntarily started playing with one of her own nipples, rolling it back and forth, then squeezing as she imagined a stronger clamp affixed to it. Finally, while reading about toothed clamps, she squeezed it as hard as she could, and dug a fingernail into the side of the little bud, wincing from the pain. It hurt worse than what Erin had done to her, but she was also surprised at the jolt of arousal that moved from her nipple to her pussy.

While she was studying, Scott was getting some benefit from the research, as she often became very aroused by the material she was reading. On one or two occasions she had found herself masturbating in front of the computer, furiously rubbing her clit while reading an on-line novel of erotica, typically about a submissive female being forced to perform by a master, or a mistress. When she realized what she was doing, she shut the machine down, and went in search of her husband, and an orgasm brought on by his lips and hands and cock.

Another article that she read talked about the use of common devices that could be found in the home, and their applications for use as bondage devices, or to cause some degree of discomfort or pain to a recipient. She read how dog collars could be used to signal that a person was a slave, and that it was common to use the combination of a dog collar and a leash to place someone under control. Dog and cat collars could also be used as bondage items, especially on the wrists and ankles, and then chained or clipped together. When the article spoke of using ordinary clothespins as nipple or genital clamps, she became intrigued.

She went to their bedroom and filled a laundry basket as an excuse, using dirty clothes from the hamper. After carrying it to the basement laundry room, she dumped the load in the washer, and started the machine going. On one side of the laundry room, there was a small clothes line strung between two walls, which Nina used to air dry delicate items that couldn't go in the dryer. The line had a number of ordinary hardwood clothespins on it.

She lifted her t-shirt over her head, and set it aside, then took one of the clothespins in her hand. Looking at the pin, and at her nipple, she could see how the rounded part of the pin would fit around her nipple. She moved the pin to her nipple, took a deep breath, and placed it over the nub, centering the little bud perfectly in the opening of the pin, and let it slowly close. The pin squeezed her nipple, but not painfully; she did feel a little pulse of arousal, so she reached for another pin.

This time, she let the pin's flat jaws close on her other nipple, and noticed an immediate difference. The sensation was much stronger, as there was no allowance for the thickness of her nipple; the pin was trying to squeeze it flat. This was a perfect example of how a minor difference in the use of a device translated into a major variation in sensation. One nipple felt almost like it was being caressed, the other was definitely held in bondage, but the hold only bordered on being painful.

She moved back to the first nipple, and adjusted the pin to hold the nipple the same way as the second. The difference was amazing, and her arousal began to flare. While standing there, she moved her arms behind her back, forcing her breasts out, and imagined that she was bound, unable to stop the torment of her nipples, her hands tightly tied behind her. The impact surprised her, as the thought made her wet, and she moaned as a jolt moved through her lower abdomen. 'If someone were to play with those pins, and I couldn't stop them, they could easily make me come.'

The thought of being under someone else's control while bound made her flash back to her session on the massage table, and Gretchen making her come by biting her nipples. She moaned aloud, and was so aroused that she decided to try something that had frightened her when she first read about it. Breathing deeply, and not sure why she was doing this, she removed her sweatpants, and reached for another clothespin. She looked at it, opening and closing it, steeling herself for the next step.

She moved her left hand to her pussy, spreading her labia, and seeking her clitoris. When she found it, she gave it a quick rub to ensure that it was at full attention, and then she brought the clothespin into play, positioning its jaws over her little nub. She let the pin close on her clit, and the flash of pain almost made her remove it. She resolved to ride it through, and imagined herself once again at someone else's mercy as a way to cope with the pain. She stood up, and once more placed her arms behind her back.

The sensation radiating from her clit was unbelievable; no one, and no thing, had ever gripped it in this fashion, and waves of both pain and arousal were washing over her. Her breathing became hoarse and ragged, and she hovered on the edge of an orgasm. The tremors running over her body caused the pins to oscillate, ramping up the sensations, as it seemed that some hidden figure was playing with them, out of her control. She whimpered at the feeling, and the thought, wanting to call out for relief from the unrelenting pressure on her clit.

In an attempt to focus her mind, she tried a new position, rising up on her toes, stretching her calf muscles. As she lowered herself back down, the new motion in the pins pushed her over the edge, and her orgasm crashed over her. She grunted with the strength of it, her hips flailing, and reacting as the pins moved again, sending new sensations through her. As her body curled in response to the orgasm, the pin on her clit got knocked off suddenly, and she yelped with the stab of pain in her sensitive button. The sudden white flash triggered another orgasm before the first had even finished, and she bit her hand to keep from howling with the combination of the pain and the pleasure.

As the orgasms finally began to subside, Nina reached to remove the pins from her nipples, and found out why prolonged use of such things was not a good idea. Both nipples woke up loudly as blood flow was returned, but oddly the pain was enough to give her a third, small orgasm, and she moaned as it moved through her.

She stayed bent over for a few moments, her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath, and return to equilibrium. Ultimately, she straightened up, put her clothes back on, and headed up the stairs. She stopped in the kitchen for a glass of water, and Scott came wandering in. He looked at her strangely for a second, and she asked, "What's up?"

"You look kind of flushed, and you've got tear tracks down your face. Have you been crying?"

"Oh. No. I took a load of laundry down, and stepped on a clothespin with a bare foot. That made me jump, and I kicked the washing machine with my toe, which hurt like a son of a bitch. It must have made my eyes water and I didn't notice. So, no, I haven't been crying, I've just been stupid."

"Okay, stupidity I can let you get away with. Crying I might have to investigate."

She reached out and hit him on the chest. "Yeah, there you go. No sympathy for the stupid woman, just the emotional one. Pig." Reaching an arm up, she pulled his head in for a kiss. "It's okay, I still love you."

At work the next day, Nina brought up her Pro and Con list about Gretchen and the gym. As she sat reviewing it, she started thinking about all the material she had read over the past several days, and the information she had gathered. As she went over it in her mind, she realized that while she thought she had a much better understanding of things, she also had a number of questions. In addition, she felt that there were areas that needed to be sounded out with someone who really knew about these things. Many of the issues she had raised to herself were more philosophical in nature; there was a difference between what a whip looked like, and understanding the lifestyle that would permit a person to be whipped.

She finally resolved that she needed to have at least one long conversation with Gretchen, and possibly several, until she truly understood what she might be letting herself in for. For that matter, she still didn't really know if Gretchen actually was in a dominant/submissive relationship; that was one of the philosophical questions she had to ask, and that only Gretchen could answer. If such a relationship did not exist, then Nina had been looking at Gretchen from entirely the wrong perspective. If the relationship did exist, then Nina needed to know what roles Gretchen's master might play in things.

Finally, she dug Gretchen's card out of her wallet, and picked up the phone. After a couple of rings, a voice said, "New You Gymnasium. How may I help you?"

"Gretchen? Hi. It's Nina. I was there last week?"

"Nina! You don't think I'd forget you that quickly, little one? How are you? I've been worried; it's been nearly a week."

"I'm good. I've been busy with work things, and with thinking about you, and the gym."

"Too much thinking isn't good for you. You need more physical activity, right?"

"Yes, you're right. Anyway, the reason I called ... could we maybe get together to talk? I've got some questions I need to ask you about ... well ... some of the things we talked about and did the last time I was there, and I think you're probably the best person to talk to."

"Absolutely we can get together. I told you I was available to talk to you anytime you wanted, and I meant it. I like you, little one, and I'd like to know you. When did you want to get together? I don't have anyone booked in today, so we can start right now if you want." She giggled for a second. "Take the rest of the day off. Play hooky. Come on over and we can have another spa day."

Gretchen's invitation took Nina by surprise. She had a quick flash of being strapped down to the massage table again, and a spike of arousal moved through her. 'Maybe that's what I need, ' she thought. "You know, that might be just perfect. I'll be there within a half-hour, unless there's a crisis here that I don't know about."

"Great! I'll be waiting for you." Gretchen hung up the phone and broke out into a huge smile, looking forward to the possibility of having Nina's lovely little body in her hands again. 'Be careful, don't push it.' she thought.

For her part, Nina hung up the phone, thinking about what she had agreed to. Was this day about to mark a change in her lifestyle? 'Ah, well, what're a few orgasms among friends?' She grabbed her purse and headed for the door. On the way out she told her assistant, "Something personal has just come up, so I'm going to take the rest of the day to deal with it. Send any messages to my cell phone, but try not to, because I will probably have to keep it turned off."

She arrived at Gretchen's gym twenty minutes later, and walked in the front door. Gretchen was at the reception desk, waiting for her. She came around the desk, dressed much like the last time, her face beaming, and her arms held wide. "Nina, it is so good to see you again. Can I hug you?"

Nina raised her arms and drew Gretchen in, the two women tightly clasping each other. After a moment, Gretchen drew back a bit, and asked, "So, does this mean you've made a decision?"

Nina shook her head. "No, I haven't come to any decision yet. What I have done is a lot of thinking, and a lot of research. Some of that has answered some questions, but most of it has just raised more questions. I decided that you were probably the best person I knew to discuss things with, and maybe get answers to the questions I've raised. I feel like you wouldn't lie to me about these things, and what I need are some straight answers to see whether my feelings about things are correct. I know that a lot of what I'm saying sounds confused, and there is a lot that I simply don't understand, but I think as we talk them out that much of where I'm coming from will be clearer, and that I'll understand better about you."

Gretchen looked at her for a moment, then softly said, "This all sounds very serious, but as I said, I will answer any question you may have, and I will never lie to you, little one."

Nina gave her another quick hug, and said, "That's exactly what I was hoping for. Let's get this day underway."

Gretchen laughed, and said, "Just give me a second to make sure we're not disturbed." She broke out of Nina's embrace, then locked the front door and flipped the Open/Closed sign over. "Let's go in the back." She opened the door into the workout area, then closed and locked it behind her, and headed for the door into the rear area. Taking her fob out of her pocket, she buzzed the door lock, and opened the door for Nina to go through.

"You can leave your clothes and purse in the massage room. I'll be right with you."

"My clothes?"

"This is a naked area, remember? Once you come through that door, no clothing allowed."

"Sorry, of course, I'm just rattled."

"Not to worry. I'll be with you in a sec."

In truth, Nina hadn't really expected to be naked with her friend this quickly, but knew that there was no way to avoid it without getting both of them upset. Besides, they had spent their entire last session naked, so there really wasn't much point in worrying about it.

She walked into the massage room, and stopped for a moment, staring at the table, and remembering what had happened the last time she was on it. A flush of arousal went over her as the thoughts came back, and she imagined herself screaming in ecstasy at Gretchen's hands. She put her purse down on a chair, and reached behind her to unzip her dress, just as Gretchen came into the room.

"Here, let me help you with that." Gretchen pulled the tab of the zipper all the way down her back, and Nina leaned forward to pull it off her shoulders, then let it slip down her body, and stepped out of it. She was wearing fairly plain underwear under it, and Gretchen looked her up and down, then said, "You know, once we get you back in shape, we need to get you some more exciting underwear."

Nina grinned, but just nodded as she removed her bra and panties, and kicked off her shoes. She turned toward Gretchen, who was still dressed, and raised an eyebrow. Gretchen said, "Oh yeah, my turn." In two movements, Gretchen was naked, since all she wore was a sports bra and her shorts. She kicked off her sneakers, then held her arms out wide.

Looking at Nina, Gretchen asked, "So, how do you want to do this? If you want to talk first, we can do it here, and I can massage you while we talk, or we can go in the sauna and have a real discussion. Since you said you had a lot to talk about, the sauna would probably be best. I can turn the heat down a little so we can stay in there longer, or we can come out every now and then and jump in the plunge pool."

"I think the sauna would be best, but turn the heat down a bit. I am not going in that pool, at least not today."

"Ah, still afraid I see. Very well, the sauna it is." Gretchen laughed as she said this, so Nina knew there were no hurt feelings.

As they reached the sauna, they each grabbed some towels from the stand outside the door, and went in. After spreading the towels out on the benches, they climbed up and settled in for a discussion. Nina breathed deeply in the heat, and did her best to relax before she started to talk. Gretchen looked at her questioningly, so Nina took another breath, and readied herself.

"Well, where to start, ... first, please Gretchen, do not take anything I might say as an opinion on how you live, or what you do. As I said earlier, I've been doing a lot of research into different areas. Much of that was triggered by the way things went the last time I was here, and a lot of it is based on things that I think are so, but I don't know for sure. And I know that sounds pretty vague, and rambling, but maybe the best way to get started is just for me to start asking questions, and we can see how the rest of the discussion goes. Is that okay?"

"Whatever you wish. You're in charge here."

"Don't I wish that was true. It's my emotions that are controlling me, especially where you're concerned."

Gretchen looked at her quizzically, but Nina ploughed ahead. "First question, ... you said that you tend to be submissive toward men, but dominant where women are concerned. I've done a lot of research about dominant and submissive relationships. Gretchen, are you the submissive of a master?"

Gretchen didn't react for a moment, then put on a serious expression, and looked at Nina directly. "I said that I would not lie to you, and I will not. I vow to you right now, that from this moment forward, I will never lie to you. I may occasionally choose not to tell you something, but I will never lie.

"Yes, I have a master. I am one of his submissives."

"Are you a slave, or a submissive? And what's the real difference?"

Gretchen smiled a little, and said, "Well, I am slightly in between the two. I started as a slave, and have pulled back a little bit, so you could call me more of a submissive, although my master still probably considers me a slave.

"As to the difference: a slave is property. A slave is owned by a master or mistress, and does what the dominant desires, with no questions. In the most extreme form of the relationship, if a slave is ordered to walk off a bridge, the slave simply does it, and likely dies. A slave has no will of its own.

"A submissive, on the other hand, is someone who voluntarily gives up control of themselves to someone else, but who can simply choose to say 'No' at any time. In truth, the submissive doesn't really give up control; that's the wrong way to describe it. The submissive is actually the one in control at all times, because they have the power to say 'No' and walk away, or stop what is being done to them. There is a contract between the submissive and the dominant, so that even if the submissive is restrained, the dominant should stop what they're doing if the submissive says 'No'.

"Typically, submission applies to sexual situations, but not to real life, whereas slaves give up control of everything. Submissives are that way by nature—it's a state of mind, a part of their psyche. Slaves may also be submissive—most are—but many are not. Submissive slaves become slaves by choice, and remain that way, often forever; other slaves may have been forced into it, and may only be enslaved for some period of time, for example to pay off a debt.

"Often a submissive is that way only in certain circumstances. For example, someone may experience heightened sexuality if they are bound, but only during certain acts. I know a submissive who will not willingly give a man a blowjob, but if you tie her wrists and the man holds her head, she gives one of the most enthusiastic blowjobs imaginable. She was always brought up to believe that giving a blowjob was a vile, disgusting act. The act of tying her wrists means that she is no longer in control, and the man holding her head is symbolically forcing her to perform the act, so her beliefs are pushed aside, at least temporarily.

"Whew, this is one of the longest speeches I have ever given, but one more example, one you can appreciate ... as a submissive, but not a slave, we can walk out of this room, and I can tell you to jump in the plunge pool. You can simply look at me and say, 'No, it scares me too much, ' and that's the end of the matter. On the other hand, if you were my slave, you would have no choice; you either jump in the pool, or I punish you. Perhaps I do something like tie your wrists behind your back, then push you in the pool. You either go in, or you suffer, or maybe you suffer and still go in.

"I think the best way to sum up everything I've been saying is this: a submissive still has free will, a slave does not. For the slave, the decision to give up free will is tremendously liberating, as they no longer have any responsibility for their actions; they make no decisions, they simply do as they are told. The responsibility rests totally with their master or mistress. The submissive still has the freedom to choose, but also the responsibility for all of their actions, just like any other person."

Nina took all of this in, raptly. She paused for a moment, then asked, "Okay, next issue. Are you trying to make me your submissive, or your slave?"

"You can't make someone a submissive. Submission is a state of mind, so you are either submissive in nature, or not. No one can change your mind like that. As to becoming a slave, ... well, that is kind of up to you. However, I don't want you as my slave, because then you lose free will. Our conversations, such as this one, would end; the only words out of your mouth would be, 'Yes, Mistress, ' or, very rarely, 'No, Mistress.'

"If you want to experience some of the dark side, I can easily put a collar on you, and treat you like a slave for a while, but I don't think you'd like it, and I don't think I'd like to treat you that way. We can easily explore your submissiveness without the need for slavery. I also don't think you're ready for slavery yet.

"For one thing, being a slave would likely be at odds with your husband and your family, but being a submissive doesn't put that relationship in jeopardy. Being a part-time slave is very difficult, but being a full-time submissive is not. For that matter, some people are only submissive to specific people, but not to everyone in general; you might be submissive to me, but not to other women, even very dominant women."

"So you think I'm submissive?"

"Yes, I'm fairly certain of it. The last time, you allowed me to do things to you that most women would not have permitted. You didn't really have any choice when I strapped you down, but in the shower room, you could have easily pushed me away. You also said that your orgasms that day were the strongest you had ever had. I would bet that the primary reason was not because it was a woman doing it to you for the first time; it was because that woman simply took control, and you gave up the control over your body. Giving up control like that is a sign of submissiveness.

"Personally, I'd like to explore your submissiveness, to see what sorts of things make you tick. Do you only come strongly when I simply take over and ignore your objections? Do you come any harder when you're restrained? Does a little pain increase or decrease your desire? At the moment, you don't know these things, and neither do I. I know how to explore your limits, and judge the results, because I have a lot of experience training slaves and submissives.

"It sounds a little trite, but we could go on the journey together. There is also another big difference between a slave and a submissive, especially where you're concerned. As a slave, you would have no say over things like orgasms, especially your own, or even if you are allowed to have one. As a slave, you exist for the pleasure of your master or mistress, and your pleasure is meaningless; you would spend a lot of time on your knees pleasuring me, but you would seldom, if ever, be allowed to come yourself.

"Now, as a submissive exploring your depths, we would be much more equal in status. You would still be expected to pleasure me, because that is part of the dominant/submissive role. However, I would be giving you just as much pleasure, because it would be part of determining what your limits are, and what things make you more or less submissive, or more or less responsive. Whew, another long speech. You make me talk more than anyone I know."

Nina giggled a little at Gretchen's final comment. "As part of my research, I put together a list of reasons why I should or shouldn't come back, and join your gym. On that list, one of the points in favour of coming back was that I would get to see you again, and how good the sex had been. One of the points against coming back was that I would have to deal with you, and that sex with you was scary.

"I think that I now know why it would have been scary, and also why it was so wonderful; it's the whole issue of giving up control. I had never given anyone control over me like that, but then you didn't use that control to do anything except give me wonderful orgasms. You found ways to turn me on that I really didn't expect; no one ever made me come by rubbing me over their thigh, but you did it as if it was just totally normal. By the same token, you just did it; you didn't ask me if you could, you just went ahead and did it, then even told me you were going to make me come, as if I had no choice. Yes, I could have pushed you away, but by then I was in the middle of this flash of arousal, and I was thinking with my clit, not my brain.

"Yes, sex with you was scary, but it was also wonderful, so I guess that means it was wonderfully scary. It was also my first time with a woman, and that on its own was scary, but it also didn't scare me as much as I thought it might. I guess in addition to being submissive, I'm also bi-sexual."

"Well, we can definitely explore around all the edges, and I will love doing it. Making you come is a lot of fun, and I look forward to more opportunities to do it. Having you make me come was a real bonus, and I'll take all of that I can get; as I said, I'm very hedonistic. Helping you explore your feelings about sex with women excites the hell out of me." Under her breath, Gretchen said, "If you were my slave I'd have you on your knees right now with your tongue in my pussy." She didn't think she had spoken loudly enough for Nina to hear, but a moment later, Nina climbed off her bench, and moved in front of Gretchen, then dropped to her knees.

Gretchen looked own at her, startled, and felt a pulse go through her groin. "What are you doing, little one?"

Nina looked up at her adoringly, and said, "I am yours to command, and instruct. Please show me how to pleasure you."

"Do you realize what you are doing? This is the ultimate act of submission to a woman, and the ultimate act of lesbian sex."

"I am doing this of my own free will. It is one of the edges that need to be found. I am voluntarily offering you my mouth, my lips, my tongue, to bring you pleasure. I do this freely; the other day I was nearly forced to do this, and it scared me. The thought of doing it to you fills me with happiness."