Chapter 30: Bill and Mina

Earlier, like two weeks before the girls flew to New Orleans, but still before Megan bought the Beechcraft and had it delivered, Mina finally got over the green farts and could stand being in the same room with herself.

Alum pickles are a great bar favorite in the North Texas area. So are pickled eggs. The combination of the two, pickles and eggs, along with green Lone Star beer produces the most spectacular gas ... a contest winner in any self respecting Fart competition.

Mina was used to Cinci and Cleveland brews so she wasn't ready for the miracle produced by alum pickles, pickled eggs and green beer. It is mind boggling and highly toxic. The odor lingered for days.

Finally, she was able to get to the backpacks on the kitchen counter. Both of them were dusted and pretty clean. She thought she was going to win a projectile vomit contest when the smell stored in the main pouch wafted loose from captivity ... but she settled for gagging a couple of times.

The difference between the two bags was minuscule, but Mina knew her own. In the bottom, under clothes she knew were either throw aways or candidates for a commercial laundry, Mina found the two presents Wendolyn had wrapped for christmas 2001 ... only a few months late. Oops!

Now came the quandary ... should she open hers without Bill? But he was off doing actual work for Carl ... and Lord knows, Bill had become complacent since they had tested out of high school and passed the college entrance exams. Megan ... the only Junior had passed too ... then again, the redheaded Eighth Grader had passed, but she was past brilliant.

Mina had run into her and her ... whatever you wanted to call him ... flight instructor, husband, lover or molester ... at the airport ... several times. Cindy was the biggest reason for Mina pushing herself to fly. Mina knew she was smart, but Cindy was out of her class, by magnitudes of order.

Wait for Bill? Don't wait? It was like watching someone trying to decide which tomato ... right hand or left?

Ah ... fuck him ... and that was a thought too ... a very good thought. Bill was keeping up with the four women but it meant Mina was getting shorted ... well ... can you really call Big Bill's Exceptional Eleven short?

Wait ... don't wait? yeah ... don't wait! Mina unwrapped her present like a little boy ... wrapping paper everywhere. Admittedly, she stuck the bow on her head ... but she slaughtered the paper.

'Holy Shit!!' She decided right then and there ... Bill wasn't getting his present ... he didn't know and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him ... or her, for that matter. This was a job for the Jeep and Megan's mom.

Megan's mom, Laurel Fox, was part and parcel of the regular Armadillo Night. Bill, Megan, DD, Laurel and Mina 'spent' time together at least once a week. She was also the Bank. That branch of Texas Bank that held their savings and safety deposit box ... boxes.

"Mrs. Fox."

"Miss Sutherland." Megan's mom even got the pronunciation correct ... SUTHELUND ... with drawl.

"Mrs. Fox? May I shut your door?"

"I'll get it ... the tellers get nervous when someone else does it." Mrs. Fox was explanatory.

"Can I call you mom?" Now that the door was shut Mina relaxed ... a little.

Mrs. Fox smiled, "I'd prefer Laurel but you may call me mom. Is this 'official?'"

"Yup ... I have a deposit and it's a lot ... and the bills are all old ... really old."

"Old?"

"1928 or older ... some of them are 1890's ... and they're all hundreds."

"Hold on ... let me make a call, You're in luck ... Armadillo ... Jesus ... you kids have got me using it ... Amarillo has one of the premier paper money collectors in the United States ... fortunately, he's oil rich too."