Chapter 1

Uh oh. She did a bad thing.

Not as bad as the time she shaved the kitty but pretty bad. Small animals are pretty helpless against a determined six year old and, "Daddy shaves ... you said it makes his skin as smooth as a baby's behind."

Too remembered asking her, why didn't the kitty scratch you.

"We been playing 'dress up' 'most from the day she popped outta her mommies behind

... that was a neat thing to watch..." had been the 'beginning' of her answer.

Never let it be said a six year old can't derail a possible punishment situation. They discussed the birth processes of kittens for fifteen minutes and would have been at it still if the poor naked kitty hadn't meowed piteously and shivered. Mom was back on track in a heartbeat.

"And?" Too prompted.

"Some of the dress up outfits were 'landish an needed drying to fit. I used 't hair blow thingie to 'shring ... shrink wrap her ... she got used to the noise..."

"And?"

"And I used to rub her with that pinkie thing in your night table ... but it always slowed way down and I couldn't twist the end hard 'nuff to 'place the bat trees."

'OOPsie. That's why it always needed new batteries.'

"She liked that. Sometimes she liked it so much she peed."

'Eww.'

"So I used the haircutter ... took me lotta work to plug it into the wall. Did you know the prong thingies only go one way? I just whooshed away her long hair..."

'I will not laugh ... I will not laugh!' "cough ... cough ... hack."

"Need a glass of water, Mommie?"

'Remember the last time she got water ... the only place she could reach... '

"No, Junior ... I'll be fine. Finish explaining."

"Then I climbed up and got Daddy's 'lectric ... and she REALLY liked that. I stayed away from her head and tail 'acause her ears are too sensative ... and Nobody likes their tail buzzed."

'Mommie does.' Wendolyn shook her head. 'Distracted ... you're too easily distracted'

For that little episode Junior got the nose in the corner ... not for the kitty ... for the vibe and being nosy. She got Daddy for the kitty ... and the shaver.

No. This wasn't as bad as that.

This time Junior used the MIB flash too many times in a row on 'helpless invaders' and it made them forget too far back...

After they get through potty training ... they might be 70 when they get out of school and too old for the military.

Junior dumped the smelly bunch in assorted places in the White House.

The Wendy's appeared at the United Nations General Assembly during a meeting of which the topic was Sanctions against Iran for proliferating Nuclear Weapons ... this meeting had been called by the United States.

The Wendy appeared in her seat among the Third World Countries and called for a Point of Order ... Junior was in her General Admiral Uniform. She looked cute. The appearance caused quite a storm.

"I wish to address the Assembly to make a declaration. It'll take about five minutes."

The American Ambassador was immediately on the phone and was too busy to object.