Chapter 9: Questions

Making love with you
Has left me peaceful, warm and tired
What more could I ask
There's nothing left to be desired
Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak
So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep
"The Air That I Breathe" The Hollies

---

I fall to pieces
Each time I see you again
I fall to pieces
How can I be just your friend

You want me to act like we've never kissed
You want me to forget, pretend we've never met
And I've tried and I've tried but I haven't yet
You walk by, and I fall to pieces

"I Fall to Pieces" Patsy Cline

It was as dark as midnight when Karen woke. Laci was curled tightly in the fetal position and tucked close against Karen. She raised up on an elbow, and a puff of warm bed air, redolent of last night's loving, tickled Karen's nose. She glanced at the clock. 4:56[C1]. She dropped back down and pulled the quilt up. It was so warm and comfortable, but they'd have to get going soon. They had to meet Gail at 8:30. An hour, she said to herself, then we'll get up.

Laci's hair was splashed across the pillow. Even in the dim, ghostly light cast by the snow-mirrors, Karen could see the girl's achingly beautiful face, and it made her breath sharpen. Laci's lips were parted, her breathing slow and regular, nothing in her tranquil expression suggesting trouble. She looks so peaceful, Karen thought. I wonder if she's dreaming? Is she dreaming about me? Teddy bears? Or is she dreaming about bad things?

Karen moved her head so her nose was tucked into a nest of Laci's naturally surf-curled, silky hair. Karen breathed in the gentle, fruity smell of the conditioner Laci liked so much.

It was the question that haunted Karen, the same question she asked night after dark night, the question she asked the moon, and there was never an answer. Why am I utterly, ass-over-teakettle in love with a 13 year old girl? Rational, practical-minded 35-year-old women didn't fall in love with girls who were barely adolescents. They didn't, but Karen had.

Meeting Laci the first time was a moment Karen still remembered vividly. Amy had been going on about having her new friend come to the house for a sleepover, just the two of them, but that new friend lived downtown and didn't have a ride. So Karen and Amy drove into town, and the new friend was waiting on the steps of the public library, her belongings packed into her back pack and a simple plastic grocery bag.

Laci's natural beauty lashed out at Karen like a whip. There was nothing covetous about Karen's immediate admiration. Meeting Laci was like poking through the bric-a-brac at an ordinary garage sale and coming across a genuine Tiffany lamp. The coveting came later.

During the first year and a half, a time when Laci was being integrated into her own unique slot within the Anderson family, Karen felt little more than admiration for the girl's guileless beauty. Sometimes it was hard to reconcile the sweet, lovely, intelligent girl they all saw, with the girl who lived in a drug infested shit-hole in one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the city. Clearly, Laci was no ordinary girl.

It was this past summer when things began to change for Karen.

All of the girls in the circle of friends were starting to exhibit changes that sent delicious but terrifying hungers rippling through Karen. Their taut young bodies were just beginning to lose the shapeless androgyny of childhood and develop soft curves. Their sweet faces were morphing from cute into pretty, and in some cases downright beautiful.

It was Laci who provoked the most acute feelings in Karen. She was well ahead of the other girls in her pubescent maturation, reaching that indeterminate time of life between puberty and adolescence. Laci was almost certainly the first of the girls to start menstruating. The autumn before, she'd shyly approached Karen one evening to say she'd started her period and forgot to bring her "stuff", a problem Karen solved by fitting one of her own pads into Laci's undies until she could buy the girl tampons. Laci was 12 at the time, and Amy didn't start her own period until she was 13.

Karen always made sure she was outside and nearby when the girls had pool parties. There was way too much risk one of them would fall and hurt herself, or end up drowning somehow. Karen would stretch out on a chaise lounge with Mozart or Tchaikovsky or some other favored composer on the CD player, and read a book while keeping an ear cocked for sounds of trouble. This past summer, it became difficult to concentrate on anything but the girls, and the sight of their lush young bodies sent warm surges through her.

Especially Laci. Even the memory of it was enough to make Karen's skin ripple into goosebumps. The girl was in a class all her own. Her sleek, willowy body moved with sensual grace, glistening wetly as she climbed out of the pool. Sometimes it seemed Laci was flirting, posing herself, looking over her shoulder to see if Karen was watching, making sure she stood in a way that Karen could see her clearly in her low-cut bikini, both front and back. There were times when seeing her do that, Karen had to go into the house to regain her composure.

One day in particular had been really intense. She could not get herself to stop thinking that Laci was flirting with her. Her heart throbbed and her mound seethed watching the girl move with elegant finesse. At last, she had to go into the house, and still she felt dizzy and faint, sure she was on the verge of having an orgasm. She leaned against the door frame, closed her eyes and tried to compose herself. Then, just as she was making some headway, she jumped, startled by the familiar sweet, shy voice of Laci. "Karen? Are you OK?"

"Oh! Laci! I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in. I'm fine dear. The sun was making me a little queasy, I had to come in for a few minutes." Thankfully, Laci didn't point out that Karen wasn't in the sun. "Now, what do you need, honey. I'm sure you didn't come in here just to check on me."

Laci giggled softly, her stunning eyes sparkling playfully, and Karen felt herself getting weak-kneed. "Umm, Amy wanted to know if we could have some sodas."

Later that night, Karen masturbated feverishly to several throbbing orgasms. It was as though the child provoked insatiable appetites in her, hungers which could not be willed away no matter how much guilt accompanied them.

How could she know then what would be happening in six months?

Karen sighed and looked at the clock. Quarter of six. It was noticeably brighter with the first tiny glimmers of dawn reflecting off the snow. She'd ruminated away almost an hour, and now she was feeling very amorous. Her heart thudded heavily in her tight chest, she was restless and antsy, and her mound was full and warm and tense.

With Laci on her back, one arm thrown above her head and the other tucked under her chin, she was fully exposed, silently beckoning her adult lover. Karen shuddered at the wonder of the girl's body. Her breasts, small but very noticeable when she was upright, were nothing more than subtle rises when she lay flat like this. Her skin, no matter where Karen touched it, was as soft and creamy as a newborn baby's. Her waist was flat and taut, her hips responding to the demands of puberty and widening out. The crests of her ilia stood out prominently in a way that would make a supermodel jealous.

Karen snuggled as close to Laci as she could without waking the girl. She nuzzled her lips up to Laci's cheek and carefully placed a hand on her lover's hip. Even asleep, the girl oozed sensuality. Karen parted her lips and caressed them over Laci's cheek. She let just the very tip of her tongue trace a path on Laci's creamy skin. She stroked her hand just as lightly over Laci's hip and side, marveling at the warmth and incredible softness under her fingers.

Karen let her fingers wander up to caress Laci's temple and her cheek, while she gently kissed the corner of Laci's mouth. Karen's insides clenched up as her desire became more intense with each second she touched her lover. Karen drew her finger over Laci's cheek to her lips, so full and beautiful and soft. And not only were they beautiful, they were magical. Kissing Laci was an experience unto itself. As a teenager she remembered they called heavy kissing "making out"; with Laci, it was more like "making love".

Karen rose up enough so she could kiss Laci's mouth, while her hand strolled down to the girl's small breasts. Laci's nipples stood out prominently. When Karen touched her lips to Laci's, the girl stirred but didn't wake. Karen gently toyed with Laci's nipple, a firm yet pliant bud. Laci squirmed and let out a whimper into Karen's mouth. At last, her eyelids fluttered open, though it took several seconds for her to get her bearings.

Karen nuzzled her face against Laci's. "Good morning my sleepy-headed kitten," she murmured. She gave Laci's nipple a gentle, loving squeeze.

Laci blinked her eyes several times, before she turned on her side and urgently pushed her body against Karen's. "I love you," she whispered forcefully before seeking Karen's mouth for a proper kiss. Karen accepted Laci's tongue. She very lightly traced her fingernails up and down Laci's spine, making the girl shiver with delight.

"Karen," Laci murmured. She licked Karen's lips, then sucked the woman's lower lip into her mouth so she could nibble it with love. Karen let out a soft moan. The heat and tension grew rapidly. Now her pussy thumped and her breathing grew ever shallower and more rapid.

Laci sensed the intensity of Karen's arousal – she could almost feel it coming off Karen's body in palpable waves. Karen moved with a restless urgency, exploring Laci while squirming as if trying to latch on to the girl's body. Laci's own heat spiked immediately. She went from sound asleep to heart-thudding passion in less than a minute. Her little muffin puffed out and oozed wetness, demanding attention.

Laci pushed herself fervently against Karen, seeking union with her lover's body. In the darkness of the room, she held Karen's head in her hands while she sought the woman's mouth with hers. A vague but warm memory of something wonderful they'd done together before took shape in her mind. Without consciously articulating the thought, Laci knew she had to act quickly, or Karen would take control and decide where they went.

Karen didn't resist when Laci used her hot little body to push Karen onto her back. Laci slid atop Karen and straddled her lover on all fours. She pushed her mane of hair back from her face in a futile attempt to control it. Before she could get frustrated with her hair, she simply dipped in and slid her tongue into Karen's waiting mouth. They both made hungry noises, and they squirmed their bodies together, trying to meld.

Laci's sex was swollen and achy, insisting on attention. She raised up, reluctantly leaving Karen's sweet mouth. She shivered when Karen ran her fingers back and forth over Laci's bottom and lower back. Did Karen know how good such things felt?

Laci nuzzled her mound against Karen's, and they both let out small gasps at the pangs of pleasure it sent over them. "That's so nice, precious kitten," Karen murmured.

Breathing hard, Laci squirmed until she opened both of their pussies, so when she pushed down, their exposed lips came together in a passionate, wet kiss. A surge of nectar flushed from Laci's muffin and spread over both of them, mingling in a heady soup of passion. Now she could hear their sexes kiss as well as feel them.

Karen cupped Laci's ass and pulled the girl closer, while she arched her body up to meet her lover. Their murmurs and soft sighing moans filled the air around them with their own love music. Laci wriggled her lithe hips until their clits at last came together, and they both cried out. Karen raised up on her elbows so she could capture Laci's mouth with hers.

"That's it, my baby girl, fuck me, oh yes, I love it when you fuck me," she said, her voice low and smoky.

"Yes Karen," Laci mewled. Oh how it excited her and sent throbs through her when Karen talked dirty sexy like that. Laci gyrated and ground her sex as firmly as she could against Karen's, until, her breath hitching, she could no longer hold back. With a moaning cry, she fucked her mound frantically on Karen's wet, steamy mound. What a wonderful way to start the day.

Laci hovered over Karen until she caught her breath. Smiling delightedly, she lowered herself on top of Karen and snuggled into mother-lover's loving embrace. Karen purred with content, and drew the blankets up over them.

Karen was thrilled by Laci's assertive loving. There was no need to ask, or instruct, or guide. She simply did it of her own accord. Laci was small and limber enough to trib with wonderful affect and youthful ease. However, the best part was Laci's growing maturity. Maybe, Karen mused, it was time to get a little more adventurous in their loving. Stroking Laci's silky tresses, she smiled at the thought of exploring new pleasures with her passionate teen lover.

For Laci these were the moments, her pulse throbbing in her swirling head, her body hot and alive with love, that she wished she and Karen could join their bodies and hearts into one. She loves me, I love her ran through Laci's brain like the refrain from a child's song.

Wouldn't it be wonderful, Karen thought, if I could just hold my beautiful girl lover like this all morning? She glanced at the clock. It stared at her like an impatient mother, toe tapping, and face frowning, 6:34. Damn. Karen kissed Laci's forehead. "Laci, little princess, we have to get going."

Laci sighed with resignation. "I wish we didn't, but I know. We do." The girl disentangled herself reluctantly and sat up, sheets spilling around her waist.

Karen sat up on the edge of the bed. "We don't have time to fuss with our hair, so don't bother washing it when you shower, OK honey?"

Laci stretched and yawned. "I guess I should wear it up today."

"It might be easier. You can pick out what you want to wear, just keep it toned down."

Laci knelt behind Karen and pressed her cheek between her lover's shoulder blades. She wrapped her arms around Karen's mid-section and hugged her tight. "Everything's going to be OK today, isn't it? I'm still a little scared."

"We don't have anything to worry about today kitten. It's just Gail we're meeting with, and I think you're going to like her. She's one of a kind."

Laci sighed, her anxiety not completely relieved. She kissed Karen's back. "OK," she murmured.

"Remember baby," Karen said, bending her head back. "There's going to be a time today when you'll have to talk to Gail alone, I'll have to leave the room. She's not going to try to trick you or anything, it's just the way the system works. She needs to know for one hundred percent sure that you're with me because you want to be, not because I'm forcing you. You'll be fine, baby girl. You've shown me you're mature enough to handle tough stuff very well."

Laci rubbed her cheek on Karen's back. "I'll be OK. I won't disappoint you."

Karen lifted Laci's hand and nuzzled her delicate, child-like palm. "I know you won't, my precious baby girl."

Gail

Gail usually got to the office no later than seven every morning, unless she had an overnight guest, which truth be told, wasn't often enough. She took off her jaunty blue tam, unwrapped her scarf, and hung up her coat, then sat down at her enormous desk.

She opened her briefcase and took out a stack of papers, sighing in the process. Police reports, affidavits, things she hated dealing with. Anything for Karen, though. Why didn't I hold on to her when I had her in my arms? She thought wistfully. Because we would have killed each other. Loved each other, but killed each other.

Gail read through the arresting officers' report and it made her cringe. The meth-head's face stove in like a broken egg shell, and still so cranked up it took two cops and a double taze to get him in cuffs. The woman, the girl's mother, still had a filthy butcher knife in her hand, which she refused to drop, whether on purpose or because she was so methed-up she didn't realize she still had it. Holy fuck. It would have been a massacre if they'd gotten hold of Karen. A fucking bloodbath. Karen just did not understand how bad a situation it was, how close she came to being murdered. All over some girl, some friend of Amy's.

But that was Karen, ready to take on the world if she thought she needed to.

Gail continued skimming the reports. There was meth, crack, and oxycodone galore in the trash heap of an apartment. It took until the next morning for the cops to somewhat sort out just what the hell had gone on. The boyfriend Biron claimed Laci came into the apartment to get some oxy from him. When he said he didn't have any, the girl started trashing the place, and when he tried to stop her, the bitch who sent Laci up to get the oxy charged in. When he chased her out, he tripped and fell, hitting his head.

The mother, Sandra Harper, claimed she and Biron were drinking beers and watching TV, when Laci and some bitch broke the door down and came in to steal money, and one of them had a gun. Then the gun morphed into a baseball bat. Sandra claimed when her boyfriend tried to run them off, the bitch beat him up with the bat.

Neighbors claimed it was quiet, when all of a sudden they heard a violent commotion – screaming, crashing, grappling. Then they noticed someone running up the stairs, followed by Laci running out of the apartment screaming, and getting into a newer high-end sedan. After more hollering, and a loud crash and screams, a woman ran out of the apartment, and got into the car as Laci screamed at her to get in now. They all described the woman as about 5' 3" or so and a 110, maybe 120 pounds, with shortish dark hair and very well-dressed. She definitely was not from the neighborhood.

When asked why they didn't try to see what was going on when the commotion started, every one of the neighbors said they were afraid of Biron, that he was "bad news" and "dangerous as hell." Gail shuddered.

It was almost eight o'clock. Karen would be on time, even early. Karen was a woman who took time management seriously. Gail stepped out of her office and over to her paralegal Jane's cubicle to see if she could help getting coffee and hot chocolate service put together.

No surprise, Gail thought, when Karen arrived 15 minutes ahead of time. She knew her former lover well.

When Gail finally met the infamous Laci, the root cause of all these troubles, her breath literally caught. Karen had said, "The girl is beautiful, and very, very smart." Holy shit Gail thought. If this kid is half as smart as she is beautiful, we'd all better watch out. If she were 5 years older, I'd be on my knees and kissing her toes. Her eyes were a deep emerald green and somehow exotic, and her mouth, with lips as full and inviting as a supermodel's. How the fuck this little goddess hasn't been knocked up yet, coming from Bartlett Street ... wow!

Laci shed her coat, scarf, gloves and hat. Her hair was up in a loose knot. She wore a brand new tan sweater-dress over black leggings, and her favorite boots. Karen had nodded her head in approval at the house. Laci instinctively knew gaudy and loud, as she might dress for school, were not the way to go today

Laci wasn't quite sure what to make of Gail. Karen said she was pretty, but she was more than pretty, she was gorgeous. When Karen and Gail came together to kiss each others' cheeks, Laci felt an unpleasant twang of jealousy snap through her. She silently chastised herself. That's such a dumb thing to think of, that's something a stupid kid would think.

Laci, unsure what to do, held her hand out and hoped it was the right thing. Gail took it in both of her hands. "So you're Laci," she beamed. "I've been dying to meet you ever since Karen told me about you. She told me you were 'pretty', but she's full of doggie-do; you're beautiful! She also said you're smart, so that must mean you're a genius."

Laci couldn't help the smile that crept over her. Karen had warned her that Gail was unique. Laci looked down shyly. "Hi. She told me a little about you, but not much."

Karen piped up, "That's right, I told her you're a piece of work, and you had to be seen to be believed."

Gail, her eyes twinkling merrily, said in a low, conspiratorial stage whisper, "She's always dissing me, so only believe half of what she says." She looked up, her expression becoming more business-like. "OK ladies, why don't you sit down while I get coffee. Karen? Your usual? And Laci? I have hot chocolate if you're not a coffee drinker."

Karen sat on the reproduction Victorian settee without a pause, but Laci hesitated. It looked very expensive, and she worried she might, like Goldilocks, break it into a thousand pieces if she sat on it. Then again, she'd be sitting right against Karen. She scooped her skirt under her and sat down carefully. "Yes, hot chocolate is good, I'd like that."

Gail's office, the whole building, left Laci feeling small. The bookcases were packed with thick, intimidating legal volumes, and the furniture looked very old and expensive.

Gail looked closely at the two of them, and her heart gave a twist. She was sure now that there was more between them then Karen simply rescuing a underprivileged, abused child from a shitty world. How am I going to do this? Gail thought. Anything for Karen, anything for Karen. Finally, with great mental effort, Gail pushed pangs of jealousy off to the side, and put on her attorney's costume.

"Alright," Gail said, leaning back and crossing her legs. "I've been looking over the stuff involving the criminal side of things, the stuff having to do with your ... mother, Laci, and her boyfriend, so why don't I get you up to date on that. You both know they've been charged with some serious crimes, very serious crimes. They're in jail and I don't expect either to get out for a while. There's a bail hearing next week. Laci, do you know what 'bail' is?'

Laci, wanting to look mature rather than childish, crossed her legs to mimic the adult way Karen and Gail sat. "Kinda, yeah. That's where you hafta pay money to get out of jail, which you'll get back if you behave and show up in court when you're supposed to."

Gail nodded. "That about sums it up. I won't go into all the legal nuances of bail, but suffice to say, the worse the crime, the higher the bail. Right now, the boyfriend Biron has a bail of $150,000, and that's pretty high, and an amount he'll never raise. Your mother's bail is $50,000, not as much, but I highly doubt she'll be able to raise it. They'll have an arraignment and a bail hearing next week. That's where the prosecutor will tell the judge what the charges are, your mother and Biron will almost certainly plead not guilty, then their lawyer will argue why they should have their bail reduced, while the prosecutor will argue why it isn't high enough. I'll be there as your advocate, Laci. I'll argue that any bail must come with rules that say she can't contact you for any reason. I'll also file notice that we'll be petitioning for termination of parental rights. What that means is we'll ultimately be asking the court to say your Mom no longer has any rights or control over you as a parent – for legal purposes, she will no longer be your mother.

"Before we reach that point, I'll petition the court to give Karen temporary custody of you. That means Karen would be the adult responsible for you – your guardian – for a period of time, usually six months. Now before that can happen, someone from the state's Child Protective Services will have to visit you and Karen and inspect Karen's house to make sure its safe, you have a warm bed, and there's plenty to eat. That will probably happen tomorrow, and I'll make sure to be there when they do visit.

"So, any questions so far?"

"I have a question," Laci said in a soft, shy voice. "You said temporary custody. Does that, like mean after what? six months, I'd have to go back with my mother? Or somewhere else?"

"Let me explain the system a little bit. A six month temporary custodial arrangement is considered an emergency placement. They always try to reconcile kids with their parents. That's their goal. If after six months that still isn't possible, they'll extend the arrangement for another six months. But the thing is, we're going to use that six month emergency period to see if we can do the termination of her parental rights petition before the temporary time period is up. That way, it cuts through the BS and fixes the situation.'

"Do you think this, you know, termination thing will work?"

"That my dear is one of things I'm going to try to find out today. I guess on that note, now's as good a time as any to talk to Laci."

Karen uncrossed her legs and sat up straight. Laci looked first at Gail, then at Karen with a nervous, pained expression. Karen smiled at her and patted her leg. "She doesn't bite," Karen said, motioning to Gail. "At least I don't think she does."

"It shouldn't take long," Gail said to Karen.

When Karen was gone, Laci tried to relax. She looked down at her hands folded in her lap. Why did everyone have to talk to her alone? Why couldn't she have Karen with her? It didn't seem fair. She was just a 13 year old girl, why couldn't she have someone she cared for – someone she loved – with her?. She could feel tears wanting to bubble up.

Gail watched Laci silently. "You really care for Karen, don't you honey?"

Laci looked up shyly. She nodded and said, "Yeah, I do."

"It shows. She's a very special lady, I care for her a lot, too. She doesn't always realize how special she is. Let me ask you something, and I'm not trying to put you on the spot or trick you, but do you love Karen?" Gail immediately regretted asking the question. It wasn't, strictly speaking, pertinent to the issue at hand, and in fact it was a selfish, provocative question. But it was out there and couldn't be unasked.

The question caught Laci off guard, startling her inside. Was it a trick to get her to say something she shouldn't? She looked at Gail with a pained expression, uncertain what to say or do.

"Laci, honey, remember, what we say in here is between you and me," Gail said, scrambling to prevent damage. "Period. No one else has the right to know, I don't tell my private dealings with a client to anyone – ever."

She looked at her hands again. "Yes I love her. Wouldn't you? She's the only grown-up who's ever cared about me, she's the only one who treats me like I matter, and I'm not just some stupid kid or worthless piece of trash! She cares about me, an' I know she loves me, because she saved my life! Just like a real mother would. They was gonna kill me up there, after ... raping me, but Karen came up and stopped them! She didn't even care if they hurt her, she just came in and made them let me go so I could run away! Wouldn't you love someone who cared that much for you?" In spite of her efforts, the intensity of Laci's feelings forced tears to the surface. She sniffled and vaguely hoped her makeup wouldn't run.

Gail was taken aback by the force of Laci's response. She got a box of tissues from her desk and Laci pulled out a handful. "You know honey," Gail said softly, "I would love somebody who cared for me that much. Karen is a remarkable woman. Too bad there aren't more like her. The world would be a better place."

Gail sipped her coffee and looked at Laci for a minute. The girl was remarkable in her own right. How many kids could come from the life she came from, raised in an abusive environment swimming in drugs and booze, and yet be so sweet and smart and full of promise? And her beauty was a thing to behold. Even at 13, almost any girl as beautiful as Laci would be overweening, arrogant, and self-centered, probably loudly dressed in the latest fashions, and convinced her beauty put her far above the madding crowd. Not Laci. She was unassuming and gentle, clearly a treasure to be cherished. "So tell me Laci, how did you meet Karen? How did she get to be such an important part of you life? When did you meet her?"

Laci shrugged. "Since fifth grade, I guess. I was ten, it was when they mixed all the schools together, and me and Amy were in the same class. I didn't have friends, even the other kids in my neighborhood, cause I wouldn't, like, try drinking and stuff. And, like the rich kids, they called me a slum-bitch loser. Then one day, me and Amy found out we both liked to read Nancy Drew mysteries. It was kinda our secret, 'cause they were like old books and everyone thought they were lame and stupid. But me and Amy liked them, and we talked about them in the library and stuff. Then we got into Harry Potter, and like one night she asked me if I wanted to sleep over and watch a couple of the movies. I did, but I didn't, y'know what I mean? I didn't have a ride, and I didn't want anyone to see where I lived. So she goes, the city library isn't far from your house, why don't I have my Mom pick you up there. And that seemed cool, so they picked me up, and that's when I met Karen. It was like, wow! I never met a grown-up like her. She was beautiful, and she smiled and was happy, and so, so nice and kind. It was like, that's exactly how a mother is supposed to be, a real mother, an' she treated me so nice, like she was glad to have me there, that I wasn't just some pest or something. An' she did such nice things when we watched movies, she made us pop corn and brought us drinks an' stuff. And Mr. Anderson, Amy's Dad, he was just as nice too, kinda tease us with stupid jokes, and Amy'd go, like, 'Dad, that is just so lame, ' but she'd laugh anyway. An' he didn't make me feel ... nervous, like some men do. An' I go to Amy, 'Your Mom and Dad are just so awesome, ' and she'd go, like, 'I guess so, but they're just Mom and Dad.' And I go, 'I don't even have a Dad, and I'll bet he's on drugs or in jail if he's even alive, and my Mom is a drunk and a druggie, an' she hardly even buys me clothes from Wally World, and she's mean and stuff.' I could tell Amy stuff like that and she wouldn't tease me or call me a loser she didn't want to hang out with, and so that's how I met Karen, an' like, they kept having me come out there to hang, and me and Amy got to be best friends, real best friends, not like the stupid BFF you say to just anybody."