Chapter 1

Her Daughter's Friend

Laci was devastated when her best friend Amy told her she was moving across the country to live with her father. It felt like Laci's world would shatter into a million pieces. It wasn't so much that she was losing her friend Amy. It was because she was losing Amy's mother.

Laci was an exceptionally pretty 14 year old girl. She was just beginning to ripen into pubescence, moving from being a beautiful child to a beautiful adolescent. She had long, honey colored hair, delicate features, devastating green eyes, skin as smooth and creamy as a baby's, and a lithe body. Her sexual features, while still immature, were blossoming nicely. She was the kind of girl who drew looks everywhere she went.

But her emotions were in turmoil. She felt things she was sure her friends didn't feel. The feelings were confusing and hard to come to grips with. Feelings about other girls, but not boys – sexual and emotional feelings.

Her friendship with Amy was a little unusual. Amy came from a well-to-do family. She lived in a nice house complete with a pool, out on the edges of town in a high end neighborhood. She had parents who loved and cared for her, and all the material things a teenaged girl could want.

Laci, on the other hand, came from a horrible situation. She lived in a bad section of town in a dilapidated, seedy apartment with a drug addicted mother and her boyfriend-of-the-month. Her mother didn't care about her beyond the monthly welfare money she brought in. She was lucky to have clean clothes to wear to school. By all rights, she should have already begun strolling down the same path as her mother. It was hard to resist. It would be so easy to hang out with the kids who got in trouble, using drugs, drinking and getting knocked up. The pressure was there. She already succumbed in some ways – she smoked cigarettes, had experimented with booze and pot, and she'd done some shoplifting. But Laci desperately didn't want that. She wanted what Amy had, a family who loved her and cared about her, especially a woman-mother who'd care for her.

That was why she couldn't wrap her mind around Amy's desire to desert her mother to go live 3,000 miles away with her father.

She'd become friends with Amy back when they were in elementary school. For some reason, they just clicked. They seemed to be able to enjoy each others company in a natural way. They could share secrets, talk about things they couldn't talk about with other friends. They shared the same fascination with clothes, make-up, hair styles – not that Laci could afford any of that. But Amy seemed to understand her circumstances, and she freely shared what she could. She had Laci come out to the house whenever possible – for sleepovers, using the pool in summer, movie nights. The really good part was, Laci always – always – felt genuinely welcome there.

But the best part was Amy's Mom Karen. Something about Karen made Laci's insides squirm in the most delightful way. She was such a beautiful woman, tall, slim but not skinny, with curly shoulder-length chestnut hair that was always nicely styled. She always dressed well, even when she was casual. She had an appealingly firm, assertive presence about her. Laci was completely drawn to Karen. She sensed that somehow Karen looked at her differently. Hardly realizing she was doing it, Laci sent out flirtatious signals when she around Karen, and she watched closely for some sign Karen noticed, whether good or bad. But she wasn't able to pick-up on any noticeable reactions from Karen.

When she was laying in bed in the squalid apartment where she lived, her mind drifted helplessly to thoughts of Karen, warm, wonderful dreams of smiling, embracing, kissing and touching. Then Laci's hands would always creep toward her young, aching, pulsing sex, and touching herself there would make her jump and turn the fantasies into exciting images of loving. She'd probe her achy pussy, stroking herself all over, then slide a finger up and down her slit, marveling at the sensation. She'd nudge her finger inside her sex and burrow in the silky wetness, shuddering at the electric thrill. She'd spread her natural wetness around, moving closer to her small but swollen and tender nub of a clit, and oh! My, what a wonderful, irresistible feeling that was. Her entire body would flush, and surges of pleasure would spread out from her sex. She'd toy with her clit, squeezing it, nudging it with her finger, then rubbing it side to side, up and down, ever faster, while the mental images of being with Karen became raw and blatantly sexual. Finally, not resisting, the warm, intense spasm of unspeakable pleasure would surge from her sex over her entire body.

She masturbated to visions of Karen nearly every day. Even when not masturbating, dreams of Karen filled her head. Dreams of love, of being warm and comfortable in Karen's arms, dreams of...

And now, all that was about to be taken away.

It was one last sleepover before Amy moved away. It said much of their friendship that Laci was the only one Amy asked to come to the sleepover. That Saturday night had been so much like previous weekend sleepovers. DVDs, board games, popcorn, and later the inevitable talk sitting on Amy's bed. That's when it soured for Laci, though she tried not to let it show.

She pleaded with her friend to reconsider, even playing her trump card, guilt, without success – what's going to happen to me? I'm going to be stuck having to hang around with scummy losers. Amy, however, shared one very powerful trait with her mother. Once she made up her mind, there was no going back.

But why!" Laci pleaded. "Why are you leaving everything behind to go live with your Dad on the other side of the country?"

Amy's pretty face screwed up in bitter anger. "Don't you know?" she asked, incredulously.

"Know what?" Laci pleaded.

"My Mom's decided to become a lesbian, a fricking queer! She's breaking up our family just to be a fucking lesbian! That is so totally gross. Can you imagine? She's divorcing my Dad just so she can bring some ugly, nasty dykes home and screw around while I have to listen? How gross is that? Dad wasn't good enough for her, no, she has to dump him to be queer." Amy was sobbing with pent up anger, her fists bunched and her cheeks flushed.

"Amy, that's not true," Laci cried.

"Yes it is, goddammit! She told me herself after she and Dad told me they were divorcing and Dad was moving out west. I didn't believe it, but even Dad said it's true. Now I hate her," she spat.

"Don't talk like that, Amy! Your mother never did anything like that on purpose. That's not how that works. You're on the Diversity Team, you know better."

"Bullshit! She went all her life not being gay, then one day she decides to change? If it were natural, she would have been that way from the beginning!"

"Amy! You know it doesn't work like that! Your Mom would never do something like that to you on purpose."

"Yeah? If she was gonna do it, why now? Why couldn't she wait until I graduated school? What's four more years when you've already gone through fourteen? You're not the one who's gonna go to school and have everybody go, like, 'There's Amy, the one with the dyke mother. How gross, I'm not hanging with her anymore.' Everybody's gonna think I'm that way, too."

"No they're not! Jesus Christ Amy! Don't be such a fucking mule-headed bitch!" Now Laci played her Ace of trumps, tears. "Let's trade mothers for a week, just one week!" she cried. "Then I promise you, you'd see exactly how good you have it. Just don't go, Amy. At least wait until summer and see what happens, what's five months," she sobbed, unconsciously mimicking Amy plea. "Take off to a new school three thousand miles away. That's gonna suck and you know it!"

Amy sighed. "I can't, Laci. I have to go. I can't live in this house without my Dad and my old Mom both here. Everything was always cool, they never fought, they were always happy together. I wish it could be different and I didn't feel like this, but I do. You really are my best friend Laci. Ever. Maybe after my head clears I can come back to visit. I dunno. We can still talk on the phone."

And that closed the subject.

Laci and Amy slept in Amy's wide bed. On most of these sleepover weekends, girls would be sprawled across the bedroom floor in sleeping bags, and in the guest room. But tonight, it was just the two of them. Amy's Dad, who'd come back to bring her to her new home, stayed in the guest room. There was a tense sadness that Sunday morning. Both girl's cried a river. At last, Amy said she needed to take a shower and get ready. Laci lay on the bed and sighed. Her mind drifted to Karen, and as upset as she was, thinking of Karen lead to the warm, familiar gnawing in her mound. Almost without realizing it, her hand was under her panties, toying with her sex. The desire was much more intense than usual, almost beyond resisting. Amy takes long showers. I have time. And she gave in. She'd forgotten the bedroom door was slightly ajar.

Her sexual energy was powerful and raw, so she stroked herself much harder and more vigorously than usual. The resulting orgasm rose up quickly and with unexpected force. Her whole body twitched and hovered, and then came the bursting surges. Aware of it or not, she whimpered aloud, "Karen, Karen, Karen! Oh God, Karen! Hold me! Love me!"

She was panting when she fell back onto the bed. A trickle of nectar dribbled from her sex onto the bed. She almost instantly felt a pang of anxiety. Did she cry out? Did anyone hear her? She scrambled to sit up, and she could hear the rush of Amy's shower coming from the bathroom. That was stupid, what if I got caught?

The unspoken tension in the house was thick enough to cut, the morning Amy left. Karen woke up early while the house was still. She had her crying jag, a long, despairing round of tears. This was hard, very hard. She was ambivalent about her ex-husband being here. Of course he had to be here, because there was no way she'd consent to Amy flying out there alone. But, having him here only made reopening the wound all that much more painful.

They'd been divorced a year now, and it had been a mutually agreeable split. They always got along quite well, and they still actually enjoyed each others company. Karen knew her ex was a very good father, and she was proud at how they'd raised Amy together. But there were differences between them that couldn't be resolved. For years after Amy was born, it became apparent Karen was much more than unenthusiastic about sex. Her apparent lack of interest was the one thing that they ever fought about. As time went by, he went looking for relief outside the marriage, and Karen was okay with that – relieved in fact -- as long as he didn't rub her face in it, and to his everlasting credit he never did. They continued to enjoy each others company in the context of family time, but they grew further apart emotionally.

It took Karen time to come to grips with the fact that she didn't lack an interest in sex – far from it – but it was men she lacked sexual interest in. Guilt kept her from carrying it to its logical conclusion, but eventually she gave in. After her first time with a woman, she could no longer deny the truth. Two short-lived but intense affairs later, and she knew what she had to do.

That sat down together and she explained her perspective. He took it with equanimity, even relief. Divorce, of course, was the only real option, as gentle a divorce as possible to spare Amy the alternative. He told her the timing was actually good, because he had a chance at a promotion which would require relocating to the West coast. From that point, they went through the nuts and bolts. At first, Amy seemed OK with it. It wasn't until her Dad moved away that she had her emotional melt-down.

Financially, the divorce terms were quite reasonable. They were well-off by most standards. Karen got the house free and clear, he got to keep several hundred acres of land he'd inherited. They each got to keep their respective retirement funds, and the money and investments they'd come by during their marriage were split down the middle. They'd share custody of Amy. She'd stay with Karen for the time being, at least through the rest of the school year, then they'd take it from there.

Karen wasn't prepared for Amy's reaction after her father left. Amy morphed almost overnight into an overwrought emotional hellion. Amy had always been even-keeled, so the change was a shock. She became spiteful, angry, defiant and hateful, saying things that hurt and couldn't be easily forgotten. Karen tried, oh God she tried. But when Amy began demanding to live with her father, it fell apart.

Karen and Amy were both stubborn and willful. Karen was hurt by Amy's threats and hateful words. She knew Amy had every right to live with her father, and he'd take her if that was really what she wanted. Karen warned Amy she wasn't going to let the girl play her mother and her father off one another. If she went, there was no coming back. Think about, Karen warned. Take your time to make your decision because once its made, there's no going back. It was one thing to go spend the summer with her father and then make a calm decision, but to go in the middle of the school year in a fit of hormone-fueled anger, well that just wouldn't fly.

So Amy made her decision.

And now it was about to happen. Amy was leaving, and making it worse for Karen, that might mean not seeing Amy's sweet, precocious little friend Laci anymore. Karen had become extremely fond of the child, and guiltily, her feelings about the girl weren't all innocent.

Karen pulled the last pieces of clothes Amy was taking with her from the dryer, folded them and put them in the laundry basket. Her mind was churning. Nothing strung together in a coherent train of thought. Just emotions. She sighed and brought the laundry basket upstairs. She could hear the shower running as she got to the top. She was about to enter Amy's room when she heard something that stopped her cold.

Moans, soft, unmistakable moans floated from behind the slightly ajar bedroom door. Was that Amy or was that ... Laci? She knew one of the girls was masturbating behind the door, and it gave her an odd thrill. She listened and the moans grew urgent. Then, whimpers. "Karen, Karen, Karen, oooohhhh Karennnnn, hold me, love me!"

It was probably the most shocking thing she'd ever overheard in her life. She felt herself flush, and her legs began to tremble as though she might faint. She leaned back against the wall for support and tried to compose herself. Heart thudding, she knew she had to get out of there. Gingerly, she crept down the stairs with the basket of laundry and tried to digest what she'd just heard.

It fell to Karen to bring Laci home later that afternoon. Karen was both thrilled and terrified after hearing Laci in Amy's bedroom. Of course, there was no question of even hinting that she'd heard. Still, the drive was tense and sad.

Karen tried to make light, but failed miserably. "I'd say you look like you've lost your best friend, but that's too true."

"Yeah," Lacy moped.

Looking at her now, Karen saw just how lovely and beautiful Laci was, so soft and delicate, caught in the indeterminate slice of time between childhood and adolescence, looking at once like either and both. Oh, how the child made Karen ache. When she pulled up in front of the dilapidated apartment in a bad section of town, Karen reached over and touched Laci's shoulder. "Hey. I want you to know, just because Amy's leaving doesn't mean you have to be a stranger. You can come out to visit any time. Any time. If you need someone to talk to, or you just want to hang out ... you have my cell phone number?"

Laci nodded and tried not to cry. She looked sadly at Karen, trying to judge the woman's word. "OK," she sighed with a shuddery sob.

"My door is always open for you. I've come to be quite fond of you, quite concerned. In some ways, you're part of the family. Okay? Any time!"

Laci nodded again, tried to smile and failed. "Okay."

And with that, she grabbed her back pack and was swallowed up by the dingy building.

Karen rarely paid close attention to weather forecasts, especially where winter storms were concerned. The TV and radio weather people always hyped storms to improve ratings. Every couple of years, there were dire warnings of the next Storm of the Century, which turned out to not even be the Storm of the Year. But this time she paid attention. It was not quite two o'clock, and it was already like twilight outside and the wind was picking up. She was debating going home early to beat the weather.

She listened to the radio weather forecaster. "This is the real deal, folks. I know it seems like we're always saying that, but it's not hype this time. This storm is big, slow and very juicy. We really are talking about a high potential for record-breaking snow to fall over the next 36 hours – outlying areas could easily see over 4 feet of snow by the time its all said and done, and that won't be until the day after tomorrow! In addition to heavy, heavy snowfall, the winds will howl, blowing and drifting the snow and likely bringing down power-lines in many areas. Temperatures will hold steady in the upper teens and lower twenties, but they'll feel much colder. Driving conditions will deteriorate rapidly and only get worse. Trust me folks, you don't want to be out in this one unless it's a dire emergency. Area emergency management agencies are gearing up..."

Karen clicked off the radio and sighed. She wasn't much worried as long as she didn't have to drive in it. The kitchen was well-stocked, there was gas for heat and the stove, lanterns, flashlights, plenty of batteries and a warm bed to sleep in. The thing she dreaded was the isolation. The thought of being trapped all alone in an empty house for two days was hardly appealing. Oh well, not much to do about it.

She decided it was best to get going before it started snowing. She pulled on her wool coat, gloves and scarf and headed out. She stopped out front. "I'm heading out before things get ugly, Marcie," she said to the office's senior secretary. "Is Dave closing up early for the rest of you?"

Marcie sighed. "I wish. He hasn't decided yet. Must be nice to set your own schedule."

"Go to school, Marcie. Go to school; I keep telling you."

The snow held off through the drive home. She pulled her new Audi sedan into the garage next to the just-as-new SUV. All was silent, almost painfully so. "Jesus, I need to find a girlfriend," she muttered aloud. "Then I wouldn't be alone." A wistful image of cuddling on the couch with a pretty girlfriend came to her. Then it morphed into a slightly disturbing image of Amy's little friend Laci. Amy had been gone two weeks now, and so far her sweet little friend hadn't taken up Karen's offer to visit any time. She wondered what the girl might be doing now, and then she wondered if she'd ever get the courage to call the girl herself – just to see her again, just to look at that sweet, lovely face. The words and sounds Karen heard coming from behind the closed door still cut into her like a knife. She mentally shook herself. Come on, she's a 14 year old girl for fuck's sake, what the hell is wrong with you! Get over it! Yeah, right, sure thing.

Laci could hardly believe she was doing it. She had been fretting over it for almost two weeks now, trying to work up the courage to go through with her child-like plan. Finally, she couldn't stand it any more. Now, sitting in the back of the taxi-cab, she was actually going though with it. Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest, and her tummy squirmed and swirled.

She'd mentally rehearsed the hundreds of things she might say when she showed up on Karen's doorstep. It was starting to snow out, and it was supposed to snow hard – maybe that was part of the reason she decided to make today the day she did it. Karen surely wouldn't turn her out into a snowstorm; if nothing else, Laci was sure of that. But what would Karen say? How would she react? Would she be mad? Disgusted? Happy? Indifferent? It didn't matter. Laci had to find out. She at least had to see Karen and hear her voice, that's all. The endless hours she dreamed and fantasized about Karen, often masturbating to delicious climaxes, only fueled her inner agony. Right now, sex was only vaguely in her thoughts, so far back as to be nearly insignificant.

No, Karen wouldn't turn her back, at the very least she'd take her in until the storm was over. But a terrifying thought danced agonizingly through Laci's head. What if Karen wasn't home? What if the house was empty? Laci was dressed in a worn winter jacket over a simple long-sleeved sweater top, her only pair of decent skinny jeans were tucked into a pair of boots, and a thin scarf was wrapped around her neck. No gloves, no hat. Not a good way to be in a snowstorm. She was willing to take the risk. She pawed through her purse. She was a neat girl, so things were fairly organized: cigarettes and lighter (Karen probably wouldn't care for that), a few bottles of make-up which she always carried, her I-pod, her cell phone and her most prized possession, a cute but silly-little stuffed angel Christmas tree ornament Karen had gotten her last year – she'd gotten similar ornaments for all of Amy's "hang-out" friends – and tucked next to it was the small card Karen gave with it. "This lovely angel reminds me of you," she'd written in long hand, and it still gave Laci goosebumps. Her wallet contained $40 she'd stolen from her mother (drug-money, boy will she be pissed when she finds it gone! Laci thought), $20 for the taxi out, and if worse came to worse, she'd call for a taxi back to town, and use the other $20 for that. Her tummy still surged and squirmed as the taxi moved into the outskirts of town. Oh God, please don't let it come to that! I couldn't take it!

When the taxi pulled into the driveway of the familiar house, Laci handed the money to the driver, an obese woman with a sour disposition. Sour or not, the woman said, "You want I should wait just in case there ain't nobody home?"

Laci hesitated. "No, you don't have to. If I need to, I'll call." She knew there was no turning back.

There were a lot of bad little habits Karen was falling into since the house was empty, and she hated it. But that didn't stop her; rationalization was too easy. Smoking inside the house instead of going on the deck for one thing. For another, she had a bottle of almost 150 Vicodin left over from the kidney stone attack almost two years ago, plus a new prescription for Xanax to help her get over Amy's leaving. It was so easy to take them for the most insignificant reasons, but they helped her relax and gave her a nice glow without fucking her up. And booze. Normally, two glasses of wine a week were her limit. Now it was becoming one a day. And now today, it was all three. The thought of being snowed in alone was just too depressing to face.

She'd only just taken her first sip of wine, already pleasantly warm and fuzzy from the Xanax/Vicodin cocktail. The gas fireplace was on, and she was curled up on the sofa trying to read some papers from work without success. The TV was on a cooking channel, more for the noise than anything else.

Karen jumped when the doorbell rang. She frowned. Who in hell could that be? A little worm of fear snuggled into her mid-section. She hopped up and went to the front door. She peaked through the window, and her heart instantly seemed to freeze and her tummy dropped. Was that little Laci? she thought crazily. No, no way, couldn't be!

She fumbled with the lock, her mind suddenly racing. She threw the door open and it was ... Laci! "Oh my God," she gasped. "Laci! What on earth are you doing out here?"

Laci smiled wanly, shyly, her own heart fluttering madly. "Hi Mrs Karen. I-I ... ummm..."

"Get in here before you freeze," Karen demanded.

Laci stepped in and looked around the familiar surroundings.

"Laci, what on earth are you doing out here?"

All the lines Laci rehearsed fluttered away like a flock birds from a tree. She looked down at the floor, shrugged and tried to talk. "I ... uummm ... dunno, I guess ... you remember when you, um, said I could come by any time to visit you?"

"Good God, sweetie, yes I remember – and I meant it, I really did," Karen said, trying to get herself under control. "But now? In a snowstorm? How on earth did you get out here?"

"A taxi," Laci mumbled shyly.

"A taxi? Why didn't you call? I would gladly have come to get you. What if I wouldn't have been here?" Karen cut herself short. What in hell was she doing, sounding so reproachful? This was an unbelievable stroke of fortune, and here she was about to fuck it all up by reproaching the child. "Never mind that," she said firmly. "Get in here and take your coat off."

Laci felt an emotional agony, fearing Karen wasn't happy to see her, that she hadn't really meant what she'd said that day. But ... She shrugged off her jacket and Karen tossed it over a chair. Then Karen turned and impulsively embraced Laci. It was a maternal embrace, but strong, and it sent the most delicious thrill through Laci.

"You must be be freezing honey!"

A tiny measure of relief crept over Laci. "Should I take my boots off?"

"No, no need, not right now. Come, let's go into the living-room where it's nice and warm." Laci obediently followed. It was soothingly warm, the lights soft and comforting in here, just as Laci remembered. "Why don't you sit on the sofa and relax and warm up. I'm going to go make you a warm drink. Is hot chocolate OK?"

Laci nodded dumbly.

"Okay, you can take your boots off and put them by the fire if you want." Karen moved quickly into the kitchen. What is going on! She thought, almost immediately followed by, You know exactly what's going on, I've been wanting to find an excuse to call her, and after all, I invited her the day Amy left. And how can I pretend I didn't hear what I heard outside the bedroom door that day? Yeah, you – I – know what's going on. Like they say, careful what you wish for.

Now she was glad she took the Xanax and Vicodin. Otherwise, she'd be a wreck right now. She heated a mug of milk in the microwave and stirred in chocolate syrup. Her hands trembled just a bit.

Laci was sitting rather demurely at one end of the sofa. She shyly took the mug of warm chocolate. Karen sat toward the other end and picked the glass of wine she'd left behind when Laci was at the door. What to say? "It's going to be pretty stormy. I guess you'll be staying here for awhile. Does your mother know where you are?"

Laci snorted and said with undisguised bitterness, "As if. She doesn't know, and she doesn't care. Probably passed out on the couch."

Karen reproached herself for the question. She well knew Laci's home situation, and it made her ache. It was a mystery how a girl her age could be so sweet, so cheerful in such a miserable home life – if you could call it a home. Once Karen found out how Laci lived a couple of years ago, it made her ache for the girl. At first, it was the biggest reason she went out of her way to be welcoming and caring. Karen sipped her wine and drew a leg up on the sofa. "It's really that bad, huh?"

"Yeah, it is," Laci said looking away.

"I'm sorry, honey. I can't imagine being that way."

"I know you can't. That's why I can't understand Amy! I kept telling her she just didn't understand how good she had it with you for a mother! You love her, you care about her and what happens to her." There was pain and bewilderment in her voice.

"Well, she's with her father, and he loves and cares for just as much."

"I know, but it isn't the same. Girls need their mothers. How else do we learn? She just didn't get it. And it made me so mad. I couldn't get her to see it. And oh God! I was so scared I wouldn't be able to come here anymore, I always felt like I was ... welcome here, that I mattered. And the thought I'd never see you again just makes me sick."

Laci's shift from the generic "here" to the more personal "you" was not lost on Karen. "Well, I told you you're always welcome here, all you had to do was call."

"I know, but I thought you were just saying that to be nice or polite."

"No honey, I meant it. I very, very much meant it." Karen patted the sofa. "Come. Sit closer to me." Feeling the way she did right now, she knew it was dangerous to have the girl so close. Laci didn't hesitate. She slid over so that only a half a foot separated them. She looked at Karen with expectant eyes. "I've always enjoyed having you around, always. You've always been so sweet, so helpful, you're a joy to be around. When Amy left, I kept thinking I was going to miss you being here almost as much as I was going to miss Amy. I've thought a lot about calling you to see how you were doing and seeing if you wanted to come out for a visit."

"Really?"

"Really," Karen said, touching Laci's soft hand. She reached up and gently, tenderly brushed the back of her finger against Laci's so soft cheek.

Laci sighed. "Why? Why did Amy just ... give this up?"

Now it was Karen's turn to sigh. Why indeed. Karen knew exactly what underlay her daughter's ugly transformation. "Everything changed after her father and I divorced. I – we, he and I – knew we were going to divorce sooner or later. There were ... things between us that made it inevitable. I thought it was best to do it before Amy got really into her hormone years. But I was wrong. She took it very hard, blamed me for it – and she morphed into this mean, emotional, hateful hellcat. I didn't want her to go, even as hateful and willful as she could be, God! I wanted her to stay with me. It tears me apart that I won't be there for the important things in her life. But I won't let her play her father and me off each other. I told her if she left, I wasn't going to take her back. And I mean that. She's burned her bridges."