Chapter 7: On the Rack

Judge Hanover's courtroom- 1990

"All rise!"

Lulu rose to her feet as Judge Hanover entered and sat down. He was older than her, of course ... in his early fifties, perhaps. His hair was black, but receded to the back of his head. He certainly didn't look as intimidating as Tyler made him sound. She had expected him to be taller.

Hanover turned to the bailiff. "Call the first case," he said, in a surprisingly deep voice.

The bailiff looked at his clipboard. Then he called out, "The People of Chrystal Heights versus Helen Desjarden!"

A young brunette stood and approached the bench. The judge glanced over his notes, then looked at Helen.

"All right, Miss Desjarden," said the judge. "It states here that you were verbally and physically aggressive with a beach parking meter attendant."

"That's not true, your Honor," said the brunette. "I was simply upset because she was giving me an unfair parking ticket. That parking meter was broken."

"I see," said the judge. "It also states that you referred to her in a disrespectful manner and attempted to grab her ticket book."

"She had no right to give me a ticket, your Honor!" said the girl. "That meter was broken!"

Judge Hanover looked at Helen. "How old are you, Miss Desjarden?"

"Twenty-four, your Honor."

"I see," said the judge, glancing at his notes. "You called her a 'rug-munching waste of space?'"

"Well, yeah," said the girl. "Everybody knows she's a lezzie."

"And then you grabbed her arm and tried to snatch her ticket book," said the judge.

"Not at all, your Honor!" said Helen. "I just tripped and fell, that's all! It was a complete misunderstanding."

"I will have the Truth, Miss Desjarden," said the judge. He turned to the bailiff. "Swear her in."

The bailiff brought over a book and instructed Helen to place her right hand on it. Then the judge spoke.

"Do you Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

Helen's voice sounded strangely vibrant as she said, "I do."

"Very good," said Hanover. "Now tell me what happened that day."

Helen offered a confident smile. "I was looking really hot at the beach and all the guys were just checking me out, so I didn't bother going back to put change in the meter in time. When I got there, I realized that the stupid lezzie meter maid was writing me a ticket. I got mad and called her some names and then tried to grab the ticket book, 'cuz I figured if I got it away from her, I could destroy the evidence."

Judge Hanover nodded, then clasped his hands together. "I thought as much," he said. "Is the meter maid here?"

Helen blinked, then clapped a hand over her mouth. "Wait!" she said. "That's not what I meant to say!"

"Silence!" said the judge.

A dark-haired woman stood up. "I am the meter maid, your Honor," she said.

The judge looked at her. "Ah, yes, you are Charlene Murphy, correct?"

"Yes, your Honor," she said. "My friends call me Charlie."

"That's fine, Charlie," said the judge. "Is it true that you prefer the company of women?"

"Yes, your Honor," she said. "It's just the way I am."

"That's fine, Charlie," said the judge. "I just wanted to be sure." Then Hanover turned to Helen.

Helen said, "Your Honor, I-"

"Silence!" said Judge Hanover. "Helen Desjarden, I find you guilty of assault. You are hereby Sentenced to orally satisfy Charlie three days per week, on days of Charlie's choosing. You will do this for the next twelve weeks. Furthermore, you will receive a tongue piercing at this time in order to intensify the sensations for Charlie. You will be given one week to heal, at which time the twelve weeks will then commence. That is All!"

"One week!" said Helen. "But, your Honor... !"

Then, even as she spoke, Helen's eyes glazed over. She stared into space. Then her lips parted and her tongue slid out. The bailiff stepped forward and applied a clamp to the girl's tongue. He then stretched out her tongue and slid a needle through it. Helen showed no reaction.

The bailiff continued his work under the judge's steely gaze. After a minute, he stepped back.

"It's done, your Honor," he said.

"Very good," he said. Then he said, "Next!"

Helen's eyes then seemed to clear. "Buh, your Honor... !" she blinked, eyes widening at her thick lisp.

"Your piercing has been performed, Miss Desjarden," said the judge. "Your Sentence commences in one week."

Helen Desjarden was led away. Charlie smiled and left the courtroom as well.

"Call the next case, bailiff," said the judge.

The bailiff stepped forward. "The People of Chrystal Heights versus Louise, a.k.a. Lulu," he said.

Lulu stood and approached the bench. She better understood Tyler's concern now.

Judge Hanover gazed down on Lulu. "So you're the minx that cleaned out so many men- young and old- across so many cities," he said. He looked her up and down. "I thought you'd be taller."

Lulu's bimbo appearance was presently the bane of her existence, but she thought she might actually be able to use it to her advantage in this situation. She opened her eyes wide and tried to sound as innocent as possible. "Ummmm ... I think that may be kind of an exaggeration, your Honor," she said.

"You do, do you?" said the judge. "Why don't you explain to me why?"

"Well, your Honor," said Lulu, "I admit I may have been careless about paying some debts, but I really intend to pay everybody back. Honest!" Lulu nodded in the most sincere manner she could manage.

"I'm sure you do, young lady," said Hanover. He steepled his fingers. "It seems you're quite the unusual case."

Lulu blinked. "I am?"

"Yes," said the judge. "This court has been in contact with the prosecution offices of the various cities in which you perpetrated your various indiscretions. Because this court has certain resources available, the various offices have agreed- enthusiastically, I might add- to combine all charges. They will accept this court's rulings and subsequent sentencing in place of their own."