Chapter 1

Two things happened soon after Julie and Todd got married. First, Julie got pregnant. Secondly, Todd took a job that paid well, and that required frequent international travel. He promised that the frequency of travel would only last for a year or two, while he got established in his job. However, Todd flourished in his role, and the amount of time on the road never lessened.

Julie accepted the fact that her husband loved his job, and that he wouldn't be around all that much. Fortunately for her, she was a very independent woman. She had a network of friends that helped her stay connected. She took to motherhood immediately. When their son Alex was born, Todd made an effort to be at home more, but that didn't last.

For the most part, Julie functioned as a single mother ... a role she played quite well. She took full responsibility for helping Alex become a well-rounded young man. She worked hard to develop his mind and body. She read him books, and played all manner of sports with him and his friends. Alex was a child who loved rough-housing from the time he could Julie kept the pace in this area as she did with all the other.

She and Alex threw snowballs, played catch, and play-wrestled regularly. Once when he was still quite young, Alex got a lucky roll and ended up on top of his mother, sitting on her stomach, with her wrists in his hands, staring directly down into her face.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, realizing proudly that he had what seemed to be the upper hand. "I can do whatever I want now!"

Julie knew that no matter how confident her son felt, his physical strength was no match for hers.

"Go ahead and try," she said with a smile.

The moment Alex tried to take advantage of his position, his mother would overpower him, quickly turning the tables. Sometimes she would easily just throw him off. Other times she would roll completely over so that she was then looking down at him face-to-face, as he had previously been positioned with her. This game played out hundreds of times as Alex was growing up. Of course, the older he got, the more strength he had to back-up his claim. At some point, Julie began wondering what would happen when Alex grew to be physically stronger than her.

"I can do whatever I want!" Julie imagined Alex saying.

"Go ahead and try," she would reply.

On one of her many nights alone in bed, the thought occurred to her while masturbating. "What would Alex do, if he could do ... anything ... and I didn't have the strength to stop him? Would he ... touch my breasts? Would he touch between my legs? Maybe he wouldn't do anything like that." Those thoughts were soon followed by, "What am I saying? Would I WANT him to touch me like that? Oh my! Maybe I do want him to."

These thoughts set Julie's mind awhirl. She loved her husband, but she was often painfully aware of just how absent he was. Sometimes she resented him, sometimes she longed for him, and other times her mind entertained thoughts of a fantasy lover. Julie had a cadre of vibrators in her nightstand for just such occasions. Her fantasies roved far and wide, sometimes include just one male lover, sometimes many, sometimes a combination of males and females and so on. But once she began to have the thoughts of what Alex might do to her, if he could indeed 'do whatever he wanted' to her, her fantasy lover continued to look and sound and feel increasingly like Alex himself.

​The day finally came. Mother and son were roughhousing as they had always done. Inevitably they rolled one another over until Alex was sitting on top of his mother's stomach, one of her wrists held tightly in each of his hands. He leaned down very close to her and made his usual claim.

"I can do whatever I want!"

"Go ahead," Julie said.

Alex's eyes opened widely.

"What?"

"Go ahead," Julie repeated.

Alex had never heard that simple two-word reply from his mother. She always said, "Go ahead and try." What did she mean ... what COULD she mean by just saying "Go ahead?" He couldn't think of what he should say or do next. Julie couldn't help but egg him on.

"Come on Mr. Tough Guy," she said. "You always tell me when you get me in this position, that you can do whatever you want. So, maybe now you can. You've been getting stronger and stronger. I'm not completely sure, but I have a feeling I can't just throw you off as easily as I used to."