Chapter 5: Middle Seat

My connecting flight had a mechanical problem and I got bumped from business class to a middle seat at the back of the plane. I wasn’t happy about the change or with the way the ticket agent handled the problem: he kept telling me how generous the airlines was to put me on another airlines’ flight to get me to my destination. I didn’t even know there was a zone 7 in the boarding hierarchy. By the time they’d scanned my boarding pass, I obsessed about whether there would be overhead space for my carry on. Otherwise, I was going to be trapped in a middle seat for four and a half hours with a rolling briefcase blocking my legs and feet. At the rate things were going, I’d was sure that I’d be squashed between two mothers with crying babies and/or a pair of coughing three hundred pound men. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised: the aisle seat in my row was occupied by a brunette who looked to be in her mid-twenties. She had already settled in to read a book and her neck was cushioned by one of those u-shaped pillows made for long plane flights. “Here’s a lady who flies a lot,” I thought.

“Sorry to interrupt, I guess I’m in your row,” I said apologetically.

She smiled, dropped her pillow onto the middle seat, put her book away, took off her reading glasses, and moved to the aisle to make way for me and my rolling briefcase. When she took off her glasses, she revealed dancing brown eyes, a very pretty face, and one of those smiles that goes right through a guy. As she got up, I also noticed how snug her black yoga pants were. In addition to the pretty face, this young lady had a great ass. I’d lucked out.

“You know, if you want to put your briefcase in the overhead, I can maybe move my bag down,” she said.

“No way, I’m too much of a gentleman to make you do something like that.You got the aisle seat, you should enjoy it,” I tried for my best most chivalrous tone.

“You sure?”

“I’m certain.”

Given that the book didn’t have pictures on its covers, I imagined she was probably a graduate student. From the quality of her clothes, my guess was that she came from a wealthy family; even I knew what Lulu Lemon was. I didn’t see a ring on her finger, so I told myself she was single, not that it mattered; I was a little too old for her and she was out of my league even if we’d been the same age. In the meantime, I indulged my habit of making up backstories about strangers.

I squeezed into the row, slipped my rolling briefcase in front of the middle seat, then sat in the window seat.

She settled back into her aisle seat, her book now on her lap. She glanced over at me and looked a little puzzled.

“Is there a problem?” I asked.

“I just wasn’t sure which seat was yours.”

“I’m in the middle seat, but I didn’t want to crowd you until whoever has the window seat boards. Maybe we’ll get lucky and that person won’t show up.”

“Ah, a veteran flyer’s move I see.”

“I do fly a lot, but I’m usually in business class. I actually don’t have to deal with the whole middle seat thing that much.”

“Oh, I see.”

She smiled at me. I could swear she was flirting.

“I didn’t mean to sound like a snob.”

“Well, this ordinary coach traveller wasn’t offended. I take it you’re on a business trip then?”

I nodded, “Afraid so.”

“Me too.”

“Really? I would have sworn you were a college student.”

“I’m flattered, but it’s been a few years. I still take occasional classes though just for fun, so I guess I’m still sort of a student.”

“So the book you’re reading, it’s for...”

“Work mostly.”

“Alternative Healing is for work? Are you a nurse?”

“Not a nurse or a doctor, though I was pre-med and even got into med school at Ohio State.”

“You didn’t go?”

“Life gets kind of complicated sometimes.”

“Tell me about it,” I sighed, “Got divorced a couple years back ... Oh geez, I’m oversharing. Sorry!”

“No worries, I seem to bring that out in people sometimes.”

“Ah, I see, hidden superpowers.”

She nodded playfully as she bit her lower lip. Her movements and facial expressions were wonderfully un-self conscious.

“I got knocked up. So, I guess we’re even in the TMI Bowl now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry that happened.”

“I’m not, at least not now. Best thing that ever happened to me. I had to make tough choices and live with them. I have no regrets about not going to med school and I have a beautiful daughter.”

“Good for you!”

I offered a fist bump which she returned.

Moments later, another young woman stopped in front of our row as she futilely checked the overhead compartments. She pointed at our aisle and we got out of our seats to make way. Our row-mate looked to be in her early twenties and was every bit as pretty as the woman in the aisle seat. She looked to be dressed for a date -- her eyes were made up, her nails were perfectly manicured, and she was wearing a very short green dress and heels. As she slipped by, I noticed how fresh she smelled. I imagined that she must be flying to meet a boyfriend. As we got up to make way for her, I brushed against my new friend in the aisle seat.

“Sorry about that,” I whispered.

Instead of moving away, she smiled at me and winked. “Sometimes the middle row isn’t all bad.”

Our new row-mate proceeded to sit down in the middle seat.

“Miss, you have the window. I was just sitting in your seat while we were waiting for you to board,” I said apologetically.

“I guess I was a little confused.”

“It’s my fault really.”

She moved to the window and placed a shiny shopping bag, probably from some high-end clothing store, beneath the seat in front of her. The three of us settled into our seats and waited for takeoff. The girl in the window seat kept looking out the window as if she’d never flown much, the young woman in the aisle put her glasses back on and picked up her book, and I got my laptop out of my briefcase.

The plane didn’t take off for several minutes. The doors were closed, but it didn’t budge from the gate. Normally, I would have been furious, but there were worse fates than being the meat in a pretty girl sandwich for an extra half hour. The aisle lady closed her book for a second and whispered to me, “See, I don’t bite. Not unless you want me to.”

I laughed. “And if I told you I wanted you to?”

“Well, this girl keeps her promises.”

“Is that so?”

She broke into a smile and clicked her teeth at me.

“I’ll have to request the middle seat the next time I fly,” I joked.

She laughed. I’ve always had a thing for women who love to laugh. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed so easily with a woman.

“I’m Jerry, by the way.”

“Tabby.”

She offered her hand. Her fingers were soft yet electric.

The stewardess started into her flight safety monologue. Tabby momentarily went back to her book. I sat back in my seat. When we’d gotten out of our seats, I’d put the armrests up. I noticed it was still up. The other armrest was back down and that the gorgeous girl in the window seat might have been the only passenger on the entire plane who was listening attentively to the instructions about flotation devices, exit rows, and oxygen supplies.

I turned to the girl in the window seat and said, “We’ll be in the air before you know it.”

I glanced down at the armrest and noticed that her forearm was shaking. She looked up, “I’ve always been a little bit afraid of heights. I fell off a trampoline when I was a kid and broke my ankle. I know I’m a little obsessive, but after it happened, my father kept telling me how I needed to listen to every single safety instruction.”

“I get it I remember my mom doing the same thing. It’s funny how that sort of stuff stays with you.”

She nodded, closed her eyes, and took a breath.

“I bet they were great parents,” I said.

“They were.”

Something about the way she accented the “were” part made me think something bad had happened. She shifted in her seat and her very short skirt went a bit further up her very toned thigh. It was hard not to stare. I had thought legs like hers only happened through photoshop. One part of me was turned on and another part was trying to play Uncle Jerry.

Our plane took off. Tabby read her book and the girl in the window seat looked terrified until we felt the thump of the landing gear retract and the plane’s ascent became a bit less pronounced. I snuck glances at both women.

“Looks like we made it,” I said in my gentlest voice.

“Yes, thanks. I’m never going to be a fan of flying, but I’m getting better.”

“It must have been important for you to go wherever you’re going.”

“First modelling contract.”

“Wow, I mean I can see why, but that’s certainly a good reason to get over a fear of flying.”

It occured to me that we weren’t flying to either New York or Los Angeles. I decided not to pry. After all, what did I know about that world?

“If it works out, it’s definitely something I’ll have to get used to.”

“Well, I hope it does and you do. By the way, my name’s Jerry?”

“Juli.”

I made a gesture, “This is Tabby.”

Tabby smiled and reached a hand across my chest. Juli took it.

“I overheard you saying something about modelling,” Tabby suddenly turned a two way conversation into a three way one.

“Yes, I’m really looking forward to it.”

“You’re going to do really well, I’m sure. You’re gorgeous.”

“Thanks, coming from someone as striking as you, that’s quite a compliment.”

“You must be excited,” Tabby continued their conversation.

“Excited and nervous.”

“I bet,” Tabby said. “I modelled a little bit after high school. I remember how excited I was when they flew me out for that first meeting.”

“I knew it ... They flew you out?”

“Of course, I was a little short so I couldn’t do fashion, but even the swimwear agencies pay your ticket and expenses.”

“Maybe things have changed with the internet and all?”

Juli shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Her eyes had gone wide with worry. I turned to Tabby, “I get the feeling that the two of you have some things to talk about. Do you want to switch seats for a few minutes?”

“I knew you’d find an angle to get out of that middle seat.” She winked at me then got up, so we could make the switch.

As I sat down again Tabby whispered in my ear, “Very sweet of you, pretty sensitive for a business class guy.”

Her flirting was getting to me as was the model in distress story unfolding next to me. I was getting aroused, so I pulled out my laptop to give the appearance of minding my own business. The fact that I had to reach across Tabby’s legs to get to my laptop only made matters worse.

The two women talked quietly, so quietly that I only picked up bits of their conversation. The gist of it was that Juli’s agent to be didn’t sound entirely legitimate and Tabby was offering to help her out.

“Don’t worry, I can help you straighten it out. Just think of this as a lesson in being a little more careful.”

Tabby took Juli’s hand after stroking her hair and wiping a tear off Juli’s cheek. Tabby leaned sideways into the middle seat. Her bare feet pressed against my calf. I didn’t protest.

There was an unmistakable vibe between the two women. I wasn’t the only one Tabby was flirting with in our row. I definitely couldn’t blame her. A few minutes later, I was a little surprised when Tabby suggested that we go back to our regular seats.

“Would it be okay if I finish what I’m doing? It’ll just be a couple minutes.” I asked, fully aware that I hadn’t been working; I needed to hide the pup tent going up in my suit pants.

My fantasy button had jumped to level 10 and the thought of two hot women hooking up was a personal favorite. My ex had indulged me a couple times with girlfriends she’d brought home. Even though she’d never turned it into a threesome, it was still a huge-fondly-remembered turn on.

Tabby winked at me, adding another minute or two to my pretense of finishing work. Juli was looking out the window at the clouds, which were turning dark and heavy.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

She nodded sadly. “I’m not crazy about spending five hundred dollars I didn’t really have for this plane ticket, but it’s going to be okay. Tabby was really helpful and real with me.”

“Glad to hear it.”

I wasn’t going to pry.

“I should have known better. I’m just not sure what I’m going to tell my boyfriend.”

“I know what I’d tell him.”

“What’s that?”

“That he’s lucky to have a girl like you.”

“That’s sweet.”

She touched the top of my hand with her fingers and my heart skipped a beat or two. The next thing I knew, Tabby nudged me with her elbow and whispered, “She’s definitely an eyeful, isn’t she?”

“So says the one time pre-med swimwear model,” I whispered back.

“I thought you might be listening. It wasn’t like the Sports Illustrated swimwear issue. I looked like a teenager at the time, so it was for when they needed a girl next door with a pretty good body, nothing all that glamorous. It was more like catalogue work. I had to quit after I had my daughter.”

“You know that guys have bat ears for phrases like swimwear model. You’re probably the same size you were then, from the looks of things.”

“Well, more or less, but certain parts of me grew.”

“It was nice of you to look out for Juli.”

“She’ll do fine with better contacts and I still happen to know some people.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Not really. I like what I do now better.”

“I don’t think you told me what that was.”

“Executive stress relief.”

Tabby must have noticed my facial reaction, “You know, biofeedback, diet counseling, meditation techniques, Reiki, electro-muscle stimulation, aroma therapy, a little psychological therapy, even a little massage.”

“So full service stress relief?”

As soon as I said it, I realized that I might have crossed a line, but Tabby winked at me again. She’d clearly caught the innuendo. “Discreet and professional in all ways.”

“You wouldn’t have a business card by any chance?”

“Of course.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a card printed on heavy stock for “Executive Services.” Instead of using her first name, it read T.L. Schneider, making it impossible to tell her gender. Her last name was followed by an M.A.

I handed her one of mine.

“So you’re a software guy.”

I nodded. “I do a lot of security consulting.”

Beneath my belt, I was pretty clearly transitioning to being a hardware guy. Tabby’s flirty confidence was driving me wild.

“I’d love to talk to you some time about ways to keep payment information confidential.”

The drink cart appeared. Juli asked softly, “Do they charge for refreshments?”

I pulled out my credit card and told the stewardess to get the two ladies whatever they liked. Both ordered white wine, but the stewardess asked them for I.D. Tabby handed hers over and the stewardess did a double take.

“I wouldn’t have ever guessed.”

“You made my day,” Tabby said.

“Uh, could I just get water?” Juli said, “I can’t get to my wallet.”

“Make it a white wine for me too then and if you have a pineapple juice too,” I jumped in as I handed my credit card to the stewardess.

As soon as she got a row beyond us, I handed Juli the plastic stemware of white wine and took the pineapple juice.

“That was pretty slick, Jerry,” Tabby giggled, “Some pretty quick thinking there.”

“I hope you’re not worried about giving alcohol to a nineteen year old,” Juli laughed and winked.

“We can just say it was Doctor Tabby’s orders for your fear of heights.”

“I can definitely use a glass of wine, but it should be yours.”

“Don’t be silly,” I put the glass back on Juli’s tray.

“Well, if you want a sip or two, I’m happy to share,”Juli said.

“I’m happy to share too,” Tabby piped in.

“Maybe in a little bit,” I said as I did my best to play it cool.

I then raised my pineapple juice and offered a toast. The ladies clicked plastic glasses with mine and then we hit an air pocket. All three glasses spilled onto my slacks.

“Oh shit! I’m so sorry.” Tabby grabbed a napkin and blotted the wet spot on my thigh. She caught my thigh, but also a more tumescent part of my anatomy that had been making its way down my right pant leg.

“Whoops!”

Tabby’s face reddened and Juli immediately figured out what had happened. “Mmm, I guess Jerry was very happy to see you.”

I turned even redder than Tabby.

“Jerry, I feel terrible about this.”

“No worries. Accidents happen. But I do wish the captain didn’ t have the fasten seat belt sign up.”

As I dried myself with the ladies’ napkins, the plane jolted three times in rapid succession. A big bolt of lightning flashed across our window followed alarmingly quickly by the boom of thunder. Juli’s face was white and her arms were shaking.

“It’s going to be okay.”

She nodded warily. I took a bit of chance and put a fatherly sort of hand on her shoulder. “I’ve been in storms way worse than this one and we were perfectly safe. Just exhale a couple times and close your eyes.”

Juli grabbed my wrist. “I hope you don’t think this is weird, but could you sort of hold on to me tight for a couple minutes? My father used to do that for me.”

“Absolutely. Tabby will make sure you don’t take advantage of me.”

Tabby responded by putting her hand over my knee. Juli actually laughed then directed her next words to Tabby, “We might have to fight over this gentleman.”

I’d never been so turned on by mid-air turbulence. With Juli releasing me from the fatherly role and going into flirt mode, I intertwined my fingers with hers. I’m not sure who initiated it, but I also found myself holding Tabby’s hand. We stayed that way for the next five minutes in Boeing’s new roller coaster class jet. It felt more like five hours and I was glad for that.

Maybe ten minutes after that, the flight smoothed out. I let go of both hands.

“You okay, Juli?”

She nodded. “Thanks, I’m a little embarrassed though.”

“I guess God was punishing me for giving alcohol to an underage girl.”

“Not exactly the first time that’s happened, so don’t worry about corrupting me, at least not that way.”

Was a girl a couple years older than my daughter flirting with me this boldly?

“I’m sure that’s just the lightning storm talking,” I joked.

“Well, thanks for the wine and for helping me hold it together there. I was really terrified.”

“Glad I was able to help ... It looks like it’s okay for me to get to the bathroom. I better dry off.”

I started to stand up. Tabby got up to make way and I felt a sharp twinge between my thigh and buttocks.

“Ouch!”

“I hope that teenaged man trap knows that I saw you first,” she whispered then rubbed her thumb against her middle finger, letting me know that she’d pinched me.

I had a rather prominent erection and suspected that both women had noticed. At this point, my slacks were still wet and clinging to the fronts of my thighs. Tabby handed me her neck pillow. “You might want to use this, Jerry. Just to cover the wet spot, of course.”

Juli and Tabby looked at one another and started laughing.

“Don’t doubt for a second that I don’t know what’s going on here; I’m trapped between a couple major teases.”

“I’m sure there are a few dozen men on this flight who’d volunteer to switch seats with you, if you want to get away from us,” Tabby answered.

I’ve always loved women who could engage in repartee. Tabby’s skills were off the charts. I made my way to the bathroom holding Tabby’s neck pillow awkwardly in front of me. Every few rows, I’d tell whoever happened to be staring, “Had three drinks spill on me. I know it looks kind of weird.”

In the bathroom, I pulled down my pants and wiped my thighs and crotch with damp paper towels as I imagined two equally delightful mile high club scenarios. Sadly, there were no knocks. This wasn’t a porn movie, after all.

I don’t think of myself as a perverted guy, well no more than average, I guess. I’d placed Tabby’s purple neck pillow on the sink and suddenly had an American Pie moment. I ran my dick along Tabby’s neck pillow half a dozen time. I’m not sure what I was thinking, but it felt pretty good.

I finished cleaning myself up, though my slacks were still damp, picked up the neck pillow, and headed back to my row. Tabby and Juli were chatting and giggling, heads conspiratorially together.

Tabby spoke first,”So you made it back.”

I gave her back her now defiled purple neck pillow.

“Thanks,” I said,”It helped.”

“Always happy to help a gentleman out of a sticky situation.”

Instead of moving to the aisle, Tabby slid her legs sideways to let me through. It was a close call, but I made it through with minimal body to body contact until she cupped my butt. We were now way beyond being random seatmates. I noticed that she placed her neck pillow between her thighs.

“I think we got your seat dried off,” Juli’s voice was cheerful.

“Been a while since I wet my pants ... At least a couple years.”

I chatted amiably with both women for a while. Sometimes it was all three of us and sometimes it was short one on one conversations, but the bottom line was that the flirtatious energy faded in favor of a “we’re not strangers anymore” vibe, at least until Juli needed to go to the bathroom.

She insisted that neither of us stand up.Tabby and I both got an abbreviated version of a lap dance from a very hot girl with great legs in a very short dress. I also got a glimpse of a black g-string underneath Juli’s dress.

Tabby turned to me and said, “I don’t think they have a champagne room on this flight, even in business class.”

“She did seem awfully comfortable doing that.”

“Jerry, can I say something?”

“Of course.”

“I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry if I crossed any lines when I touched you like that. I didn’t want you to feel awkward or anything. I know that Metoo can apply to men too.”

“Well to be honest, I’m a little disappointed.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Here I was hoping you really meant to flirt with me.”

Tabby broke into a big smile and squeezed my wrist. “Just remember, I’m a girl who keeps her promises.”

“I guess I have your business card now.”

“Well, I have many clients who’ve become friends and many friends who also became clients.”

Juli came back to our row and I noticed a line of male eyes following her and pretending not to look too closely as she, facing forward, squeezed between Tabby, two reclined seat backs, and me. Tabby put a hand on Juli’s lower back as she crossed over her lap. After Juli took her seat, the fasten seat belt sign came on again, followed by an announcement from the cabin. Our plane had been hit by the lightning. We were going to be landing in Pensacola, Florida and would be re-routed to our destinations in the morning. The pilot cheerfully informed us that we’d be receiving hotel and breakfast vouchers as soon as we deplaned. A mass groan went through the cabin.

The plane shook a few more times before landing. I took Juli and Tabby’s hands without exchanging words with either of them. We landed. The jetway had a set of windows and some of the other passengers were rubbernecking. One of the stewardesses picked up the mike to announce, “Everything’s fine, we’re here safely.”

There was a sizeable dent in the nose of the plane. Below that, there was a hole in the skin the size of a football.

“What is it?” Juli asked.

“You maybe don’t want to know,” I said.

Tabby, tapped me on the shoulder. “Jerry, I hope you don’t mind, but I need to make sure that Juli gets her room and stuff. I have this feeling that she doesn’t have any money. I don’t want her to see what we just saw; she’ll never fly again.”

“Sure.”

“If I don’t see you, give me a call sometime.”

She kissed me on the cheek. I’d had a pleasant, slightly erotic adventure on the flight. I had no complaints and now no expectations. I watched Juli and Tabby walk hand in hand away from me. Tabby walked with one of those seductive wiggles and Juli’s legs seemed endless. I stood there in a daze for a few seconds, until another male passenger must have noticed my looking and said, “That view is almost worth having my life flash between my eyes three times. Imagine being in a middle seat between those two.”

“Imagine that,” I said, as he punched me lightly on the shoulder and headed for the agents’ station.

It was pouring rain outside and the boarding area was simply a mess. The chairs were full of weary travellers and the agent was making weary promises about everybody getting taken care of, eventually. We then watched the crew all but run past us. Naturally, I looked for Tabby and Juli, but they were nowhere to be seen. I had this feeling that I was going to wind up sleeping in one of those chairs in the boarding area until my new connecting flight took off. After half an hour, I decided to go to the bathroom, but there was a line halfway to the gate; we weren’t the only flight stranded in Pensacola. I wandered past several closed gates until I found another. As I came out, I heard a voice.

“Jerry, I’m glad we found you.”

“It was Tabby and Juli.”

“Fancy running into you here. Did you get a room?”

“We did, but it’s a long story,” Tabby said.

“Tabby knows everyone,” Juli said.

“Well, glad to hear it. It was nice meeting you both and glad we got a chance to say good-bye.”

The girls looked at one another and started giggling. I didn’t hide my puzzlement.

“Jerry, it’s a two bedroom timeshare. Tabby knows a developer who knows someone who knows someone,” Juli explained.

“Apparently, they couldn’t get vendorized with the airlines for this. It’s amazing what a little charm and an offer of four hundred dollars can get you sometimes,” Tabby continued.

“So?”

“Tabby and I can share the king-sized bed in the master and, if we can trust you, you can have the other bedroom.”

Talk about a fantasy come to life. I pretended to hesitate then held out my hand, “Deal, but on one condition?”

“What’s that? You get to peek at us in the shower?”

“Well, more like, why don’t you let me pay for the place and take care of the Uber?”

“I can’t do that, Jerry,” Tabby said.

“Why not? I know Steph can use the help and you’re a single mom. I can just expense it to my client.”

“I can do the same,” Tabby countered.

“Let me at least, pay for Juli’s share.”

“Actually, I already took care of that.”

I pulled two one-hundred-dollar bills out of my wallet and slipped them into Tabby’s hand. “How about this, you find a way to slip this into Juli’s bag and we can get out of this airport.”

“You’re a really nice guy, Jerry. I just wish I didn’t have to play big sister this time.”

She kissed me on the cheek again. I waited for the girls to get their luggage. Mine apparently was in Newark after a mixup with my original lost connection. I helped them with their bags and we started to get into the Uber’s front passenger seat.

“Jerry, you can’t sit up there. You belong back here in the middle with us,” the girls squealed.

I shrugged and squeezed in across Tabby with one wet leg on either side of the driveshaft hump pressing into one of their thighs. Our driver kept making eye contact with me through the rear view mirror, no doubt trying to figure out whether I had some sort of magic talisman or if I owned an NBA team.

We made it to the timeshare and got soaked getting out of the Uber and into the lobby; the storm was that bad. Juli’s dress clung to her bikini perfect body so tight the outline of her bra and g-string couldn’t be missed. The Uber driver was extra helpful with the luggage. When he finally pulled away, he nearly got in an accident because he was still staring at Juli.

It was late and the halls were empty. We found ourselves in a mildly upscale timeshare: granite countertops, faux hardwood floors, and high-end fixtures and doorknobs matched with hardware store quality windows with peeling seals and veneer doors. I helped the girls get their luggage into the master bedroom then went to my room to change. With my luggage more than a thousand miles away, my problem was that I had nothing between my still damp business suit and my birthday suit. I knocked on their bedroom door.

“Do either of you have anything I might be able to wear for a few hours?”

The door opened a crack, an arm came out and handed me a pair of pink gym shorts and a t-shirt that turned out to be bedazzled on the front. “Best I can do, hope it helps.” It was Juli’s voice from behind the door. The shorts were going to have to be awfully stretchy to have any chance to fit. I hung up my suit and played impromptu drag queen in front of the mirrored closet door in my room. Juli’s shorts barely fit and hid nothing in front. They left the bottom of my buns exposed in the back. The t-shirt did somewhat better, but it didn’t hang down far enough to cover the protrusion in the front.