Halal
Chapter 6

Copyright© 2012 by Cor

Easter week Tuesday

The clerk at the City Planning office looked up from his desk at the middle-aged man behind the counter.

"Yes? May I help you?"

"I was told that I would need to come here to obtain a building permit."

"That is correct. Where is the building located?"

"I do not understand. I wish to build, I do not have a building."

"Oh, I'm sorry ... I misunderstood. Are you asking me for a permit to erect a building on undeveloped land?"

"Yes ... that is what I would like."

"I'm afraid that that will be impossible, sir. We only issue permits to modify or replace existing buildings. Putting up a new building is out of the question."

The man hesitated and reached into his jacket pocket for a very full wallet.

"Are you sure we could not come to an agreement?"

"No sir, it is not a question of money or anything like that. I'd be more than happy to sell you a permit for the going rate of 50 dollars. It is just that we are in King City's 'Green Belt'; no new construction is permitted anywhere ... in King county, Manatee Bay or Calaverras county, or anywhere else within this area. Here, it is all explained in this brochure. The only way to erect a new building anywhere within this zone is to purchase a piece of property with an existing building with the same size footprint, tear down that building and put up the new building in its place. I'm sorry."

"I see ... I will have to think on this."

"Please do so. And when you do find a site that meets those requirements, we shall be happy to provide you with a permit."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir. Please come again."


The clerk was having lunch at the City Hall lunchroom and was telling of this morning's client...

"Would you believe it? He actually tried to pay me a bribe so that I would issue him the permit. You'd think we were in the Middle East, or something."

Chuck Malone called out to him. "Jeremy, after lunch, I'd like you to come with me and tell Paul what you've just told us."

"Paul... ? You mean the mayor... ?"

"Yeah. Don't worry ... He doesn't bite ... hard."

The other people in the lunchroom broke out in amused laughter.


Chuck and Jeremy were headed to the executive office. Jeremy was exceedingly nervous, wondering about what he may have done wrong and whether he would have to find another job.

Walking into the outer office, Chuck said "Hi, Liz. Is Paul busy?"

"No go ahead, Chuck ... no problem."

"Thanks," and the two walked into the Holy of Holies.

As soon as Chuck entered, he dropped to his knees and did a triple salaam. "Oh, Exalted One, this lowly peon would fain have words with thee."

I looked up at him, wondering what was going through what could loosely be called that brain of his this time. "Cut the crap, Chuck, and tell me what you want."

"This kid, Jeremy, has something that I think you want to hear. He's shitting bricks at the thought of talking to you so I just wanted to put him in the mood."

I looked at the kid. "Oh, are you all right or would you like to go to the bathroom first? You'll find a tube of hemorrhoid cream in the pharmacy."

Jeremy, realising that both of us were pulling his leg, relaxed. "No, I'm fine, sir."

"Jeremy, tell Paul what you told us in the lunchroom. Explain it just the way you did downstairs; it was perfect that way."

 
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