Where the Hell Am I? - Cover

Where the Hell Am I?

Copyright© 2012 by aubie56

Chapter 8

The two grenades followed each other almost exactly as they repeated the arcs of Homer's first two lobs, if such mighty throws could be called that. This time, the grenades landed more toward the front of the charging mass and caused even more turmoil than before. Six horses went down as a result of the hand grenades' explosions and more tumbled over those, bringing down a total of 20 horses and riders. Other horses dumped their riders as the horses tried to avoid the fallen steeds. At this point, it was impossible to tell how many horses and men were down, but it certainly was more than on the first charge.

This did not break the charge, but it certainly did disrupt the cohesion of the group. By now, the first of the explosive crossbow bolts began to find marks. Also, as on the first charge, strikes on the riders caused them to fall under the hooves of the following horses, but strikes on the horses did even more damage, as this brought down additional horses and riders. Seeing this, Homer called, "SHOOT AT THE HORSES, NOT AT THE MEN!" This slight adjustment was what finally broke the charge, this time.

The raiders were now reduced to only a little more than half their original number, and logic demanded that they break off the attack. But, as is true in so much of life, what has logic got to do with anything involving humans? The raiders must have reached a boiling rage against their potential victims.

The raiders must have milled around for close to half an hour before they had themselves under control sufficiently to mount a third charge. Homer called out an order, "REMEMBER TO SHOOT AT THE HORSES, NOT AT THE MEN!"

This charge was not something that the riders would want to go into the history books, if they knew what those things were. The organization for this charge was really ragged. It was almost as if it was every rider for himself. The defenders held their fire until the charging riders were very close, then they laid down a murderous fire, all aimed at the horses. This seemed to increase the ire of the charging horsemen, and they looked like they were not going to turn away for any reason.

The charging horsemen were just too fast for the crossbows. The defenders could only get off two or three shots at the most before the horsemen were almost upon them. In desperation, there was only one thing for Homer to do. He reverted to the hand grenades. This time, he had four of them left, and his only hope was to throw them into the face of the charging horsemen as fast as he could throw them. Just as he threw the last grenade, there was the chatter of my machine pistol.

Between the hand grenades and the gun, the last of the raiders was killed. Li Lo fell into Homer's arms for a hug of relief that they both were still alive. I came trotting into the group hug that had erupted when the defenders finally knew that they were saved. Everything had happened so fast that Homer had not noticed his own casualties, but it was now obvious that he had lost six of the 24 original members of his command.

As soon as he realized this, Homer collapsed and started crying. He was almost inconsolable, and I was the first person to realize why Homer was crying. I tried to comfort Homer by saying that it was not his fault that his friends had died, but it was Homer's fault that so many of his friends were still alive. It's not certain that Homer ever completely believed that, but he did finally stop crying after about 20 minutes of sobbing.

I knew that I was the one who was really at fault for not improving the defensive posture of the camp. An open camp was traditional, but it just made it too easy for raiders to enter from any and all directions whenever they wanted to. I knew that I was going to have to come up with a way to protect the camp, but now was not the time to discuss it.

Later that day, Li Lo asked me how I had managed to reach them so soon after they had sent the boy for help. My answer was that I had never ridden so hard nor so fast in my life, and I had nearly killed my horse in the process. Furthermore, I hoped that I would never have to do that again!


Late that afternoon, a messenger rode in from Chief Umgallah with word that it would be two more days before they would be able to leave their temporary camp. There was just so much meat to process that the job was taking longer than expected.

While I had the time, I considered possible defenses for the camp. There was no question that the defenses would have to be light weight, but large enough and sturdy enough to stop a charging horse. I had a glimmer of an idea, but I would have to wait a while before I could do anything about it.

Meanwhile, we must have wagons to haul the defenses around with us. No matter what form the defenses take, they have to be no more difficult and time consuming to install than that required by the yurts. At least, since they are defenses, the men will not feel that it is beneath the dignity of a warrior to do the grunt work of doing the installation.

OK, if we had wagons, we had to have wheels. I supposed that we would go with solid wheels, simply because they would be easier to build. Once we have the wheels, the rest of the wagon would be relatively easy to design and build. Based on the farm wagons I was raised with, I would guess that we need a set of wheels about 1.0-1.1 m in diameter. All we would need is four wheels the same size for any given wagon. Each wagon could safely have wheels of a size different from any other wagons as long as all four were the same diameter. No springs will make those wagons a bitch to ride in, but I don't have a solution for that at the moment.

Well, the first thing we will have to do is to come up with the necessary wood. I will propose to Umgallah that we camp next to the next stand of trees we come to if they are at all suitable for our needs.

Now, as to a suitable defense. We need something light in weight so that we don't need so many wagons. I know, I can't remember the name, but those sharpened stick things that were used against cavalry in the 1800s. A pole about three or four meters long with a bunch of sharpened stakes about 150 cm long arranged along its length should do the job. If each stake was actually an "X" arrangement of a pair of stakes, then it would not make any difference which side was the top or front. If we spaced the stakes about every 75-80 cm apart, that should be enough to stop a horse. Well, I'll start the selling job as soon as Umgallah returns to camp.


We had to wait for another three weeks before we found suitable trees. I had a lot less trouble convincing Umgallah than I had expected. It may have helped that Wogal and Homer saw the advantages of my suggestion, and I am sure that it didn't hurt that I promised some special incantations over the finished product, but we now had the go-ahead.

The artisans were a little harder to convince, but I finally leaned on them and they agreed to do what I wanted, even though they doubted that my idea would work. It took a month to get that first wagon built because nobody could see why I was such a stickler for all of the wheels being the same diameter. I finally had to demonstrate what would happen with different diameter wheels on the same axle. That finally shut up the last of the whiners on that question. At last, we had the wheels! Construction of the wagon body was a bed of roses compared to the hassles with the wheels.

I had put another separate crew on the construction of the camp defenses. That had been no problem because everybody could see the advantages of having such a device, and it was obvious how it worked. We had enough built to surround the camp in about six weeks, and I was a hero over them. People began to get the message about the wagons when I explained that the defensive barriers would be carried in the wagons. After some experiments with that first wagon, I determined that we would need seven wagons to carry all of them without danger to people, animals, or wagons. "SEVEN WAGONS!?! ARE YOU CRAZY?" was the reaction I got from the artisans, but I stubbornly stuck to my guns, and they finally built all seven wagons. The weather was much milder at our current location, but the winter was a bitch for doing much work outside. We lost about six weeks due to inclement weather, but we still had all seven wagons by the time traveling weather arrived in the spring.

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