Chapter 2

For many months, I could not forget him. He was a nice, loving person, very caring and could not have hurt anyone. I think he would have been a very loyal and loving husband to me.

When I entered my eighteenth year of age, Pankaj had come with his parents to visit us. He was handsome and had a good body, so I had no reason to refuse when his consent to the proposal was received. Four months later I was married to him. Since he lived in the same city, I was not going to miss my own family much. He loved me and was very liberal in attitude. He used to get gifts for me quite often and I was happy with him. Yogesh was only in my subconscious mind now. How could I forget a person who was my first real lover? Sex with Pankaj was okay though his premature ejaculations at times did upset me. His cock was almost the same size as Yogesh's so I did not feel much pain when he thrust his cock harder in me. I was happy after my marriage, though Pankaj did annoy me with his show-off nature. One of his habits I hated was that he invited two of his best friends over drinks every Saturday evening and served good quality scotch. I hated drinks. On some days they would have dinner, brought from some expensive restaurant, with us, and I told him I made reasonably good food then why should he get it from outside? He said he wanted his friends to get the impression that he was making good money and lived a lavish life. We could afford to spend the money but I thought it was sheer wastage to entertain just two or three friends regularly. Pankaj did not have appetite for hard drinks; he knew he would start losing his senses if he went beyond two pegs. He was lavish in giving gifts to people, even if they were not really close to him.

Our married life was going on smoothly, but whenever my mother-in-law met me she would bring up the subject of children. I did not know why I was not conceiving, so I did not have any explanation to offer. One day, an elderly lady in the neighbourhood suggested that we consult a good doctor. I told Pankaj about it and he readily agreed to the suggestion. The very next day he got an appointment with a gynecologist for the evening; she checked me and then asked him to send his semen sample for examination. We came back home and angrily criticized the doctor saying that he knew his semen was potent enough to produce children, it was just a chance that conception is not there. I did not argue because I knew his nature, he would feel humiliated if test reports showed lower sperm count in his semen.

Pankaj loved my blowjob technique and he liked my active participation in sex, but not my wildness or my fancy for different and new posture, which at times did sound weird. I wanted to fuck in the kitchen, in the garage, in our balconies and even places where others could easily see us. He would agree to only two postures-him on top or me on top.

A few days later, since I was having my periods, I was giving him a blowjob while he lay on the bed with his eyes closed, as he always did when I sucked him, moaning often with 'aah', 'uuh' and then when nearing his climax, these will change into 'aaaahhhhh', 'aaaaiiiiii' or 'uuuufff'. I excused myself telling him that I should keep a napkin ready, because he thought it was unhealthy to swallow semen. I hid a small plastic bottle under my saree and resumed sucking him. He was lying on his back with legs outstretched and me lying between his legs, sucking him while I massaged his balls gently. Just when his cock started throbbing I knew he was close to his orgasm, I placed the napkin on the bed under his cock and held the small bottle in hand in such a way that even if he opened his eyes, he would not see it. He knew that during blowjobs I used to pull away my mouth completely to watch his cock throb and then would put it back in mouth after a few seconds. This I did to tease and excite him more; and had noticed its effect on him- he came more than normally he would and the semen was slightly thicker.

Just when he started ejaculation, I collected a small quantity in the small bottle and took his cock in mouth to draw the remaining quantity. After he was finished, I picked up the bottle, covered it with the napkin and rushed towards the bathroom as if I was to spill out the semen in mouth. There in the bathroom I carefully hid the bottle, gargled and washed my face before stepping out in the bedroom. He was still lying with closed eyes, his breathing not yet fully normal. I lay besides him cuddling against his naked frame. We were asleep in another half an hour. Reaching an orgasm worked as a sleeping pill for him. Rarely we had done twice in a day. Sex with Pankaj was okay, but she always felt something was missing in their sex. She was confused about that missing part.

Next day I took the sample for examination and two days later went alone to get the test report. When asked by the doctor, I lied to her that Pankaj had an urgent meeting with a big prospective client in Delhi, which he could not miss, so I had to come alone. The doctor said she wanted to speak with him and tell him that his sperm count was much lower, but she wanted to advise him a few things and prescribe some medicines, which might improve the count to the desired level for conception. She asked me to keep record of my menstrual cycle to enable her to know my ovulation period. I assured her that I shall give Pankaj the prescription and other advise written by her on her pad, and that we both shall see her soon in future.

I was disheartened that I may not become a mother in my life unless his sperm count increased to a reasonably good level. I made up my mind to ensure that he gets to consume the medicines regularly without knowing what they were for. I was going to keep the medicines in different empty bottles of vitamins etc. This continued for next eight or ten months but I had not conceived till then. It was a little less than three years to our marriage, though I had many years to remain fertile because I was just twenty-one then.

His mother's criticism was getting bitter by the day, she had labeled me as 'Baanjh' (infertile) woman even. It made me furious and I was about to tell her about her son, but just then the maid entered the house and I did not want to create a scene and humiliate the old lady. I had been able to administer medicines to him for all these months and made sure that we had sex on the days I was expected to ovulate, but this had not helped. I was myself getting upset, 'what if his sperm count did not imrove?', I used to think.

I noticed that his two friends, Johari and Sreenath, who were regular on Saturdays for drinks, were small manufacturers like my husband. Both were in their mid-thirties, had average height and ogled me on every visit, especially Sreenath, who was a south Indian. I had on many occasions noticed his lustful eyes undressing me. He would run his tongue on his lips while slyly taking a peek at me. He unashamedly would stare at my breasts for long enough to embarrass me, while talking to me. And his eyes would invariably try to look inside through my cleavage whenever I bent forward to serve them snacks etc. during drinks and follow the movement of my buttocks when I retreated. I had indirectly told Pankaj about it, but he just laughed it off. Johari was a wheatish complexioned, average looking, north Indian and had a good body, while Sreenath was quite dark complexioned, a little pot-bellied and clumsy looking man. Johari was very discreet and would look at my body only when he thought I was not looking in his direction. His interest was mainly in my breasts, while I had noticed Sreenath lewdly staring at my breasts and buttocks whenever he had a chance.

I thought for many days about the possibility of seducing one or both of these friends to help me in becoming a mother, but I would shudder at the thought of possible consequences if the person tried to exploit me. After lot of pondering I decided to take a chance; I would let the interested person make a move and take initiative, then I shall decide how to prepare myself for unforeseen situations. I was desperate to bear a child to escape the stigma of being called a 'Baanjh', and I knew I was preparing to pay a very heavy price for it.

My plans of seducing one of the two friends was going to be a huge disaster, when on the next Saturday I was told that one more person would be coming for drinks that evening. He was a big trader and could be of much importance to Pankaj in marketing of his products and even could help him in increasing product-line or expanding his manufacturing capacity as he had a huge area where his distributors were operating. Pankaj was very enthusiastic and happy that this person had agreed to visit our house, but there was a big hitch- the new person was a Muslim. Pankaj knew that I did not like a Muslim coming to our house, so he had requested me to allow him to treat this Muslim guy just once. I reluctantly agreed but made him promise that his future meeting with this man should be outside the house.

Around 7.30 pm that evening his two regular friends had arrived, but the new person had not come. Johari and Sreenath were surprised that the Muslim trader had agreed to visit Pankaj, for there was no comparison of his status with ours. Pankaj did not want his new guest to feel offended so did not start their drinks until he showed up a little after 8.30 pm. He was a huge man, not less than 6 feet tall, in late thirties, dark complexioned, heavy built, neatly trimmed beard and had some pockmarks on face. He wore white kurta-pajama (typical Indian dress) and his dark complexion was in contrast with his clothes. As soon as his luxury car entered our driveway, all three of the friends rushed out to receive him. He entered the main hall of our house and announced, "Pankaj, main tumhare kahne se aa gayaa hoon, lekin Bhai mujhe paanch minute mein jana hoga. Main sirf kuchh thanda le loonga aur fir jaunga. Kisi din tum mere office mein time le kar aa jaana, baki baatein tab kar lenge" (Pankaj, I have come to your house on your insistence, but brother, I shall have to leave in five minutes. I will have some soft drink, and then will go. You get an appointment from me and visit my office then, we shall discuss other things then). All the three friends were in awe of this man. He was treating them as flies, as non-entities and as insignificant persons. None of the three seemed to feel offended with his attitude. Pankaj called out for me to get some soft drink immediately and I prepared fresh fruit juice for him and entered to offer it to him.