Chapter 13: Door Man

After the fiasco at the Inn I piloted us over Yellowstone Lake and stopped.

"Ship? You need a rinse? Geyser water can be corrosive." I asked.

Ship, in a mood ... now I ask you ... Ship was having a mood and I was pretty sure he was a computer. A really good computer but a computer just the same. How can a computer have a mood?

For that matter, how does a computer talk like a concierge at a five star hotel? I know I owned the best of personal computers available and it didn't do even a tenth of what Ship does, not even one percent.

It was time to do a little investigating of my own.

I knew Simone was Not going to be one iota of help. She was sold on Ship. He could sweet talk her into anything.

I decided we needed a place to hide out and the lake looked pretty deep right here so ... I dunked us.

The deepest spot in the lake is just off Stevenson Island, deeper than 118 meters. That's deeper than Lake Erie by a bunch. Lake Erie at its deepest is 68 meters. I didn't have Lake Erie, I had Lake Yellowstone. I dunked us in the underwater canyon.

"Ship?"

"Mr Kirby?" He was huffy. How can a computer be 'huffy'? I'd seen 2001 ... on the Big screen, back when I lived in Kansas, in 1968. Hal was spooky ... a thinking computer in a mood, just like Ship. In a way I was glad Ship didn't know my real name. In the mood he was in, to have him answer "Yes, Dave?" would scare me half to death.

"Tell me about yourself."

"What do you mean, Mr Kirby?"

"You say you're the Ship..."

"Ah, I am sorry. Please excuse me. I said I was (there's that totally unpronounceable name) but you could call me Ship. Remember, I had to discover what and who you are so I first spoke in the language of the people who lived near the valley ten thousand of your years ago.

"I didn't get a response so I tried the language of the people who lived there two thousand of your years later. Miss Berger was kind enough to 'clue me in' on your language. Once I knew when I was, I was able to scan the communication systems extant and learn the language.

"Pilot and I were placed here on assignment.

"The assignment was to pick several of the first group of people and transport them. Pilot was supposed to stasis them and we'd be off to mother. Something happened, some accident, or unforeseen situation, it prevented her from completing her part.

"I? I took a nap while she was gone and you rang the bell. I had been asleep and you woke me up." Ship got a faraway sound to his voice, "such dreams ... such wonderful dreams. Will I never go there again?"

"'I think. Therefore, I am' is a phrase I picked up in my language scan. It fits me as far as it goes. Yours is a complex language but the words to express the idea of who and what that 'I am' is, don't exist in your language.

"You, as a student of anthropology, know, or are learning, that ideas and concepts are socially driven. What a situation means depends of where and when you are.

"The saying, 'How do you know the man isn't trying to kill you if you can't understand what he's saying?' is actually just the beginning. 'How do you know the man isn't feeding you excrement while you are eating what he put in front of you?' or 'is the man offering me the comfort of his wife in a sexual situation if he bares her breasts or shows her thighs? Or is he asking me if I'd like a slice of breast meat or thigh for the coming meal?'

"You, living when and where you do have no idea what the next inhabited planet is like. Perhaps life is made for eating. 'Rational thought' has no place on a planet where you are meat, and so is the next entity, even though the two of you might have been in a social situation a few minutes before. He wasn't hungry then but this is now. Lunch is lunch. When he says, "Come over for dinner." you might be dinner.

"I am Ship, but the ship is not I. You would say I am a parasite on the ship, but that's not true in the best sense. The ship was built for me. It was a selection of metals and plastics before I came to it. I have the ability to 'feast' on the structure, become one with it, and make it live. But I can leave it and ' incorporate' my SELF. In your eyes, should you SEE ME, the real ME, 'I ain't pretty' ... but that's your fault and not mine. I am not ethnocentric. You are.

"I am an employee of others. I can BE without them. They can BE without me but They can go no where without me and my kind. My kind have 'shipped' for millions and shall ship again.

"However, my explaination doesn't even approach the reality of what I am. Nor does your 'I think, therefore I am' approach the reality of you. We are far beyond the sum of our parts."

"I see you have washed me. I should thank you. If it weren't your fault I needed washing I would thank you. Petty of me. I had no idea I could be petty. You may be a rough and dissolute tribe but you have inspired me to ideas I have not known before. Your saving grace are your mates, They have manners."

"You had me in a mood ... by asking me who or what I am you have dissipated the mood. I thank you. By immersing me, you have 'washed that man right out of my hair' so to speak but you have also refueled me. My tank is full, it is night, the stars await. I shall activate the Prime motivation and 'get the fuck outta here.' Your language is so descriptive." He laughed, a good, full, belly laugh. "Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning"

Second star to the right was a mother! Holy shit. Ship was to mother as a grain of sand is to Mount Everest. Mother was HUGE! Mother was not happy with Ship. Ship had stayed on Earth far longer than expected, therefore, the usefulness of Simone and I for their experiment was not. The Powers That Be had intended to place several members of the tribe Ten thousand years in their future to see whether or not they could adapt. (Adaptability being one of the prime selections for membership.) (Membership in what?) (How should I know, we're not there yet. I'm a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed bullshit)

A conference ensued. We were NOT invited ... so ... being at loose ends so to speak, we were allowed to return to Ship and seek amusement. Any bets? Suggestions? I wanted to explore the Solar System, Simone wanted to fuck. Guess who won.