Chapter 2: I Tried to do better

I decided to change jobs and went into insurance sales. It seemed like a great opportunity. I was a pretty good talker and passed all the state tests. I put in a lot of hours but made a lot more money. Needless to say, Carol loved that part. When the kids were all in school, she got a full time job doing vending work in factories. Our life was very busy. Between the jobs and the kids, we hardly made time for ourselves. I would work all hours of the day and night, seeing I made my own schedule, but I always tried my best to make time to attend all the kids' activities.

With three kids they get into a lot of things. All were in sports and the girls also were girl scouts and in the school band. My son played every sport they had and even all the summer leagues. Carol was always there for them, and I tried to be. Thinking back, doing all this running around, we didn't make enough time for each other.

The job kept me away a lot of evenings. For the next fifteen years I worked for the insurance company. Then one day, after making a really big mistake, I got out of the insurance business. I did it in hopes of saving my marriage. We had saved a lot of money and made some good investments but I knew my marriage and family were on the line.

When Carol was going through her change of life, I didn't even want to come home. She didn't want to even talk to me unless it was something she figured I did wrong or something I didn't do. We went three months and she wouldn't let me touch her.

The kids were older now and pretty much took care of themselves. We were there for them when they needed us. The problem was, we weren't there for each other.

When I tried to cuddle up to her at night she would actually tell me she didn't like sex anymore. I wasn't sure what the hell to do. I had just turned forty and the kids were in the last years of high school. Our oldest daughter Kelly was ready to start college.

It was then I did something really stupid. I had a short-term affair with a woman I met. The odd thing was, she looked like my wife but was ten years younger. Her age had nothing to do with the affair, but I think the attraction did. It went on for about a month. Her husband had been in prison for over a year. She did have a daughter who was thirteen, that I met, but she just thought I was the insurance man, which I was.

In the beginning we just talked, and she told me about her situation and I was telling her about mine. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing. In the next couple of visits, she let me feel her up and finger fuck her. I could never stay at her place for long; I didn't want to raise any suspicions.

One night she called me and told me she would be home alone. Her daughter was staying with her grandmother for the night. I made an excuse to my wife that I had an appointment. She didn't even answer me as I left the house.

When I got to Sheila's place she had on a skirt and blouse. I knew we didn't have much time so we started kissing and I was fingering her. I pulled off her panties and we fucked for the first and last time. It might be hard to understand but I really felt bad about what I did. I hadn't cheated on my wife for at least fifteen years and here I was doing it again.

I told Sheila I couldn't see her again and that I was really sorry. She didn't love me and it really didn't bother her. All the way home, I hated myself for being so weak. When I got home, Carol was in the living room.

"Is she your girlfriend? I followed you and waited a half hour for you to come out. Did you fuck her? I followed you once before to the same house. Is that your daughter?" Carol just kept asking questions. Considering her past, she seemed mad but calm. She didn't cry or do anything that I would have expected.

I didn't think she would believe me but I told her the truth. "No, she's not my girlfriend and yes we had sex. It was the first and last time. It made me feel like shit and I told her I couldn't see her again. It's been three months since you let me even touch you. I know I was totally wrong doing what I did. I'm sorry and I will leave tonight."

I went on and told her how I spent the time with Sheila. How we usually talked about our spouses and lack of sex. I mentioned that her husband was in prison and that there was no love involved. Her daughter was not my child. I told my wife that I had the vasectomy long before she would have been born.

I really felt bad. When I was younger I was just a young cock that hadn't grown up but I was a man now with responsibilities and knew better. What was really odd is that I realized I really loved my wife now, and just threw it all away for nothing.

I told her I would go pack a suitcase and leave. I honestly didn't know what else to do. I figured I'd go to my parents. She told me that she wouldn't forgive me but I didn't have to leave. She needed some time to think about this and I could just stay in the extra bedroom. She didn't want me in her bed.

I was both happy and sad. Maybe there was a way to salvage what was left of our marriage. I went to bed but didn't sleep worth a shit. The next morning I told her I was quitting my insurance job and going back to the factory. It would be a little less money but I knew I wanted to try and salvage what we had.

Carol and I were again on non-speaking terms. It was my fault but why did she end up forgiving me? She said it was because she loved me but I was never sure. I often wondered if she had done something similar and that was why she forgave me. I shouldn't have said forgave. Deep down she never forgave me. She brought it up during most every argument. I had no comeback for it and she knew it.

Because of my working there before, I got a job back at the auto plant. Even though my dad was retired, he called a guy and had me go see him. It was all about who you knew in some of these plants. My family knew the right people. I got my job back, and they even gave me my continuity of service back. That was credit for the time I had worked there previously.

My kids asked me why I quit the insurance job and why I was sleeping in the other bedroom. I explained to them that the money in insurance was good but I was tired of working so many hours. I wanted to spend more time at home. As far as the bedroom goes, I said I was a poor sleeper and was always getting up in the middle of the night. It always disturbed their mother. This was really true.

They knew that I would often be on the couch or the spare room when they got up in the morning. Nothing more was said. I honestly don't know if Carol ever said anything different to them.

A month had past and things were somewhat normal. I went to work, we actually had dinner as a family and I slept in the spare room. One day I was in the store and ran in to Sheila.

"So, how's it going? Your wife stopped by the day after we were together. She's a real pretty woman. I didn't know who she was when she came to my door. She said she wanted to talk to me," said Sheila.

"What did you talk about?" I asked.

"She wanted to know how long I've known you and how many times we made love. I told her you were our agent for a few years but only recently stopped and talked to me. It started with an insurance review and then we talked about more personal things."

"What did she say?"

"Not much, but I told her it wasn't love and it was only the one time. She asked about my daughter and my husband. I told her he was in prison and had another year to serve. She actually seemed nice. I know I wouldn't have been as calm as she was in the same situation."

"Anything else?"

"I told her that you said it was over and that you'd never be back. It was a mistake to begin with and you told me you were sorry. That was about it, and she left and I haven't seen her since."

I explained to Sheila that I was back home and got another job. I wasn't her insurance agent anymore. She said she knew because she met the new agent a couple of days before. He was introducing himself to his clients. His manager was with him.

Life seemed to be quite normal after that. I never told Carol that I saw Sheila and she never told me about going to see her. I figured that's why we are still together ... I was honest with her.

It would have been a struggle financially for both of us if she would have kicked me out. As it was now, I usually took an allowance and deposited most of my check in the bank; Carol paid all the bills. If I wanted anything big I always had credit cards. I wasn't a wuss, other than I wasn't getting any sex. Mother thumb and her four daughters became my friend.

To the outside world and all our friends and relatives, everything seemed rather normal. We had the usual graduation parties, went to the kids' events and all family gatherings. The only thing missing was having sex. I often thought of leaving and getting a divorce but I couldn't do it. Looking back, maybe I should have but I found that I really did love Carol and wanted to work it out, no matter how long it took. I was lucky if we had sex twice a year and only because she had drunk too much. It usually amounted to me eating her pussy and a round of sex.

We had a rash of funerals in the next few years. Both my mom and dad died and so did Carol's mother. She was there for me when I needed her and I was there for her. No sex but shoulders to lean on. My parents really loved her, and my sisters like her more than they like me. Carol's like another sister to them. I don't know if she ever mentioned my cheating to anyone.

One evening Carol asked me if I wanted to go to a show with her girlfriend Marsha and her husband Ben. They wanted to know if we wanted to go with them. I had to admit that I was surprised since we would be staying in a motel. The theatre was a hundred miles away. We left early and went out to dinner. Carol looked fantastic. Ben even said I was a lucky man and mentioned I would probably get lucky that night. Marsha laughed and elbowed him in the ribs, not all that hard.

"You should wonder if you're going to get lucky," said Marsha and gave him a kiss. Carol just laughed. I remember the days when she always laughed. They were some of our happiest moments. They were few and far between anymore. She once told me it was my fault that she couldn't trust me and her happiness left.

After the play we went out and did some drinking. There was dancing and I asked Carol if she wanted to dance. Marsha and Ben were already on the dance floor. Carol got up and I held her close. We danced good together, we always did. We had more drinks and danced even more.

I danced with Marsha and she mentioned how happy Carol seemed, I had to agree. It was like the old Carol was back. We left the lounge and headed up to our rooms. I was surprised when we had a king size bed instead of two doubles.

Carol was a little high but not drunk. I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure what her plans were. She asked me to unzip her dress. I did and she slipped it off and went into the bathroom. I took off my suit and hung it up and figured I'd sleep in my briefs.

When Carol came out of the bathroom she had on a negligee. She looked sexy as hell. After looking me right in the eye she kissed me. I have to say I was totally surprised. Since all our troubles, she would sometimes kiss me on the cheek but I figured it was for show but there was no one there but us.

I kissed her again and held her in my arms. I felt myself getting hard and I'm sure she felt it too. I went over to turn off the lights and we just had the lights that shone through the window.

Carol asked me to lie on the bed. I did and as I got on the bed she slipped off her nightgown. I couldn't believe it when she straddled my face with a leg on both sides of my head. We were in a sixty-nine position. She was totally naked and her pussy just above my face.

I reached up and pulled her down and gave her pussy the sucking of a lifetime. I sucked, licked, tongued and ate her pussy. Her juices were flowing and she was extremely wet. I didn't stop and she had an orgasm on my face. I continued to suck on her pussy.