Chapter 2

When weeks turned into months and still there was no rescue, Grace and Walter began to give up hope. They kept it to themselves and tried to put on a brave front for Thomas. They were always positive saying that they were sure that many searchers were looking for them and it would only be a matter of time before they were found. They were not sure that Thomas believed them as he was an intelligent boy and could certainly comprehend their desperate situation on his own.

Unfortunately as time went on it became more and more difficult for Grace to keep a positive attitude. Her greatest concern was for Thomas. There was a pain and overwhelming sadness in her heart for him. It appeared that he might never experience all the things teenagers should experience: he would not go to college, learn a trade, or even find a girl to marry. Even worse, without doctors, hospitals, and medicine, his life could be cut short. It was almost too sad to think about.

In spite of her misgivings about being rescued, Grace continued Thomas's formal education as best she could. She was not college educated, having married so young, and she did not have the skills to go much further with his education, but she believed she could still teach him the more genteel things in life; like how a gentleman treated ladies, social graces, and of course manners. She prayed that he would actually need those skills one day.

Walter, oh the other hand, was convinced that she was wasting his time. He believed the boy needed to learn survival skills; the things that would keep him alive when he was no longer there to hunt, fish, and protect him. He knew that in this hostile environment even a minor mistake in judgment could be fatal. He also did not want his son to be a wimp, but, unfortunately, it certainly appeared that he was well on his way. He saw him clinging to the skirt tails of his mother.

As a result Walter began to resent Grace monopolizing so much of his time. Yet he gritted his teeth and accepted it begrudgingly because he knew coming between a mother and son could be counter-productive under the best circumstances, and family squabbles could divert their critical focus on survival.

Grace, of course, could feel the tension with Walter. In spite of that she had insisted that she continue Thomas' education. After much discussion they agreed that she would have several hours of uninterrupted time each day with Thomas and then Walter could have him for the rest of the daylight hours.

Walter wasn't pleased, but took what he could get. Over time he taught Thomas to track and hunt as well as spot the types of plants and roots that were edible. Thomas had picked it up quickly, but Walter realized that he would rather be reading or reciting poetry to his mother.

Grace made sure that she used the time she had with Thomas wisely and felt it was very important that they not be interrupted. She found a place off the beaten path; a beautiful lagoon with a water fall, where they could have uninterrupted time together. There she worked with him to insure that he maintained his math and reading skills. While they had no writing materials, they had found a number of books from the ship and she had Thomas read to her every day. She would give him math problems to solve mentally and have him recite the times table. She even gave him homework problems.

Beyond the education, she and Thomas came to love the personal time together. Thomas would often brush her long hair as she sat on the rocks overlooking the lagoon. They both enjoyed also him reading and reciting poetry. In addition they spent time talking about life and their feelings about everything from religion to politics. The only exception was sex. Anytime the subject came up Grace would divert the conversation or gently end their session. She did not feel qualified to discuss sexual matters with a teenaged boy. Yet she knew that at some point it would have to come up. Her plan was to send him to his father. Unfortunately she knew that Walter would not answer his questions either. When the subject finally came up it caught her totally off guard.

Thomas was brushing her hair one afternoon at the lagoon when he said, "Mom, I saw you and Father last night."

"Saw us?" she asked.

"Yes. You and dad were in bed."

Grace could feel her face flush and she trembled. She knew what he was talking about. She and Walter finally thought they had enough privacy to make love. Obviously it wasn't so private. "You should not be spying on us?" she said with more anger than she intended.

"I wasn't spying. I couldn't help see you two; my bed is just across the hut."

Grace knew he was right. She and Walter had known it was a risk.

"Will I ever get the chance to do that with a girl?" he asked. "I mean, I have never been on a date, or even kissed a girl, and now it looks like it will never happen."

"Of course it will, because we will be rescued." Grace felt a pain in her heart at perpetuating what she knew was a lie.

"Come on, Mom, it is not going to happen and you know it. Nobody is looking for us any longer. We are alone here, maybe forever." He paused for a few moments before he said in a quiet voice, "You have Dad, and I have nobody."

Grace turned to him and put her arm around his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Thomas, it is hard on your father and me, but I know it is hardest on you. But we can't give up hope for our future."

"What future?" he spat. "We have no future. It's all Dad's fault. I hate him." He threw the hairbrush down and turned away from his mother. She hugged his back as tears fell. He was silent for a while, obviously trying to control his emotions. He knew it wasn't her fault that they were there. It was his father's career that always came first. They never stayed anywhere long enough for him to have friends or put down roots and now he had gotten them into this fix.

Thomas softened his tone and said, "I'm sorry, Mom. I shouldn't blame you. I'm trying not to hate Dad either. But I am growing up and ... I have all these emotions going through me. I feel like my life is slipping away."

"I know, Sweetheart, I know," Grace said.

Thomas continued, "I just ... I have these feelings, you know, inside, and I don't know what to do about them. My body has changed and I have grown up physically but mentally I ... I think I am falling behind. I try to think about other things but most of the time it doesn't work. I sometimes think I am going mad. And then I saw and heard you and Dad. I know you were having sex, but I don't even know the first thing about it. I tried to ask Dad, but he just yelled at me, saying that I should keep my mind on survival and out of the gutter."

Grace winced at his words. "I am not a very good person to ask about these things," she said weakly. "You know that your father has been my only partner and when I was growing up no one talked about those things, at least to a girl."

"Dad won't answer my questions and you won't, so who do I ask about it? Maybe I should talk to the birds or the fish."

Grace sighed. She knew she had no choice. She would have to be the one to teach him. Still, although she knew a great deal more than he did, she didn't know that much about sex either. After several long minutes she said, "Okay. But you have to understand that I am no expert."

"You know a lot more than I do."

"I was eighteen when I married your father and I had never dated anyone else. Our families expected us to get married, because it was best for them and the two businesses. So, while it wasn't exactly an arranged marriage, it was not my choice either. In many ways I am like you. I didn't have my teenaged years. Your father and I only knew each other for a few months before we were married."