Chapter 5

"I just can't do it anymore," I told Deke over the phone. I'd been saying that for the last half hour, ever since I'd told him what had happened the night before with Phil. "What if it happens again? What if it's one of my friends' dads, or one of my teachers, or..."

"Or what if it's Santa Claus?" Deke chuckled.

"It's not funny!" I said, lying on my bed, curled up and talking softly.

My dad had worried over me before leaving for work, since I hadn't been my usual self the previous evening, and I played to that, telling him I didn't feel well. I stayed home from school, enjoying the time alone. I'd needed to think and then finally to call my boyfriend.

"Look, Sam, you can't quit on me. I got you dates lined up for a month already. It's money in our pockets. That shit ain't ever gonna happen again, it was one in a million, baby. One in a million."

"That's one too many, Deke," I sighed. "He didn't even use a rubber and..."

"Was he clean?"

" ... when I told him to pull out, he just laughed ... What? Clean? I don't know. Fuck! Who cares? I might be pregnant!"

"So just calm down. You ain't gonna be pregnant, Sam."

"I could be." I rubbed my tummy and frowned. "You don't know."

"You can't quit, baby. I need you."

"I have to Deke, if my dad finds out ... Or if someone else finds out." I started thinking of all the bad stuff that I'd never thought about before. "Like what if I get busted? Then what?"

"Shit, don't go talkin' that. I'm on it, okay? Twenty-four seven, I'm covering you. Ain't nobody gonna find out anything."

"Deke..." I sighed.

"I'm comin' over. You just relax. We're gonna talk this out, okay?"

"What? No!" I looked at the clock and it was almost noon.

"I'll be there in two minutes."

"Two minutes?" I stared at the phone suspiciously. "Where are you?"

"In the office, girl." He chuckled and I heard some other guys laughing with him in the background.

"Your car? Who's with you?"

"Just some homeys. Hey ... Look out your window. You want me to park on the street?"

I didn't have to look to know that his champagne colored BMW was outside my house, across the big broad lawn and neatly trimmed hedges. All the houses in this neighborhood were big and expensive and set back from the street. And while there were some minorities living there, a couple black families, a Chinese guy and his wife, there weren't very many. A bunch of black guys getting out of a strange car was going to get some unwanted attention in this part of town.

"Wait," I told him, going downstairs to the security panel and pushing a button. "Go through the gates." I left them open, we usually did anyway, except at night, but I knew my dad had closed them that morning. He always worried when I was home alone.

Deke pulled up to the garage, stopping close to the side porch, just off the kitchen, and I walked out there, hugging myself in my big t-shirt. It was blue, baby blue with a big pink heart, and covered my butt, barely. I'd had it a long time. All I wore under that were some flimsie white panties, but I didn't really think about it anyway. I just couldn't believe Deke would drive over to my house in the middle of the day.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?" I started yelling, sounding like a real bitch, but maybe I was just then. "And who are these guys? Jesus Christ, Deke! I told you I quit!"

Deke was getting out, smiling patiently at me, and he had three friends with him. All from the hood apparently, or at least it looked like they did their shopping there, but more likely they did their shopping in other places, in other neighborhoods ... Like mine. They all looked like criminals so far as I was concerned. Big and black and tattooed and ... God! They were probably carrying guns and knives for all I knew.

"Shhh ... Relax, Sammie, come on. These are my friends. This is Chilly, that's Jo-Jo, and that big guy is BMF..." He grinned at me, BMF did. " ... that's short for..."

"I know what it's short for," I cut Deke off impatiently. "You can't stay, alright? I'm serious. What if someone saw you guys?"

"Shit." One of them, Jo-Jo maybe, but I hadn't bothered trying to figure out which was which, shook his head. "I thought you said this bitch was cool, man."

"She's cool, she's cool," Deke said, walking up to me as I just stood there with my arms crossed. I didn't hug him back. "You're cool, right baby?"

I stared unhappily at Deke's friend, feeling a little pissed. The guy was wearing a stocking cap, for crying out loud, a black one that you could roll down into a ski mask. Probably came in handy when he needed smokes and beer at the corner liquor store, I imagined.

"We gonna stand here all fuckin' day?" The other guy said, Chilly I supposed. He wasn't wearing a hat, just a red handkerchief tied around his big bald head. He was the shortest of them all, but still pretty large, I thought, like five foot ten maybe with a broad chest and muscles. They all had muscles and I guessed they'd had a lot of time to work out in prison.

"Take your criminal gangsta friends and leave me alone," I said softly, finally looking up at Deke. "I don't like them."

"They ain't gonna do anything, come on. I missed you, girl." He kissed me on my forehead. "You got me all worried..." he kissed me on my cheek, his hands rubbing along my back, " ... all messed up inside." He kissed me on the lips, softly at first and then a little harder.

People might wonder why I didn't just kick him off my porch, slam the door and lock it. I mean, I was wondering about it too, right then and especially later. I should have, I knew that, but I didn't. I felt scared and vulnerable and lonely. Phil had frightened me a lot more than I'd been willing to admit, even to myself. I couldn't talk to my dad about it, or my friends. All I had was Deke and I needed him. I didn't want to, and I hated it, but I did and when he was kissing me, all that need just took over.

I kissed him back, relaxing and wrapping my arms around him. I felt so small, so weak and tired. I just wanted someone to hold me, to protect me and tell me it was going to be alright. I opened my mouth for his tongue and Deke's strong hands grabbed my ass, sliding under my t-shirt so he could pull me hard against him, against the lump in his pants. He ran his tongue in my mouth hotly, and my eyes were closed, I forgot about everything else. It had been so long since he'd kissed me like that, just loved me the way a man should.

"Where's your bed, Sammie? I wanna treat you right today," he whispered, kissing my ear grinding himself against me gently.

I'd gotten hot quickly, like someone had flipped a switch. I was standing on the porch, kissing a black guy, my big black boyfriend, as if that were somehow normal. Rubbing myself against his bulging cock and sucking his soft red tongue while his three friends stood in my driveway and watched us. And I was telling Deke that I'd quit? It might have been funny if it wasn't so stupid. My emotions were all confused. I couldn't tell if I really loved him, or if I just wanted sex, or if I could even tell the two apart. It didn't seem like it.

"We ... can't..." I swallowed hard. "You have to ... go..." But I wasn't letting him go. I didn't want to be alone.

"Just a little bit, baby," he insisted, kissing me and squeezing my ass, making me feel all hot all over. "Let me make you feel good first."

"Ummph..." I moaned as he slipped his hand down the small of my back, inside my panties, his middle finger sliding between my soft round cheeks.

"You know you want it..." He rubbed across my asshole and I kissed his neck, " ... You know you want my big cock, Sammie."

I was shaking, hating myself for wanting him so much.

"Where's your bedroom, baby?" he whispered. "I'm gonna make you cum so good."

"Deke ... Please..." I wanted him to do it, to say goodbye and leave, because I couldn't make him. It just wasn't in me.

"Shhh..." He lifted me off my feet, literally, pulling me up with his hand under my ass, so I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck. "It's gonna be beautiful, girl. Like you ... so beautiful..."

He carried me like that, while I kissed his face and neck, cradled in Deke's strong arms and giving him directions while his friends followed us.

"Shit, nice crib," one of the guys was saying.

"You got a TV in this place?" BMF looked around.

I pointed towards our family room, were the TV and computer and books and stuff was. The room where we relaxed, my dad and me. "In there, don't touch anything. Just watch ... Uhmmm..." Deke started kissing me again.

"Where's your X-box?" the other guy, Jo-Jo, asked me.

"We got a Wii," I told him, licking my lips. "You'll see it." We were halfway up the stairs.

"Wii?" I heard them laughing. "What the fuck?"

"Maybe we shouldn't," I said, feeling nervous about leaving those guys downstairs alone. "They might..."

"They ain't gonna break anything, baby." Deke smiled at me as I clung to him.

"It isn't breaking I'm worried about." But I was smiling too, my body tingling.

"They ain't gonna steal nothin' either, shit!" Deke laughed and kissed me, walking us into my bedroom.

I'd never had a boy in my bedroom before and as Deke put me on my bed, laying me down and leaning over me so we could kiss, I felt a little thrill at the thought of what we were doing. What we were about to do. I was going to have sex in my own bed, with my boyfriend. It was something I'd imagined so many times, not in detail, but just in general, the idea of it was romantic, it was sexy. I wanted it so bad and now it was happening.

We kissed for a long time, just making out and I kissed his handsome face over and over, as if I couldn't get enough of him. He was exploring my body slowly, and this was so different. We'd never had sex in a bed, or at least not a real one. Just in hotels sometimes, in between customers, I might give him some head or something. This was different; he was making love to me. Deke's hands were so soft, so gentle. He pushed my long legs apart easily, leaving my panties on, and just rubbing my sex. Cupping it and massaging me until I was hot and slick with juice for him. I was humping myself against his fingers too, feeling already the small orgasms starting, just the sweet little ones that made me so ready for the really good ones later.

He worked my t-shirt off finally, pulling it over my head and then smoothing my long blonde hair out of my shining eyes. He touched my breasts while I sucked at his soft full lips. He pinched my nipples, pulling them just the way I liked. Not too hard, not painfully, but enough to make me arch my back and moan into his mouth. He hadn't even started undressing himself, this was all about me. Deke was making me feel good, special and loved. His hands seemed to be everywhere, touching and caressing me. I'd never had sex like this. I was cumming again, my body rising up against him, trembling as Deke took my left breast in his mouth. Just the nipple at first, and then more, sucking at my overheated flesh until I thought my breast would explode with the pleasure of it.

When Deke worked my panties off, I gasped at the cool air suddenly against my skin. My pussy was hot, like an oven, and so wet that he could slip a finger inside me easily, curling it as he worked my right breast with his mouth. He was reaching in and under, tickling the roof of my cunt, finding that secret spot so that I jerked with another orgasm, this one bigger and intense, stealing my senses for a minute while I fucked myself eagerly on his hand. My cunt was collapsing around him, squeezing and sucking at him like a soft little mouth.

He kissed lower and dragged his tongue across my quivering flesh. Over my taut stomach and down, until he could kiss my pussy, something he'd never done before. Deke kissed my clit, the hard pink nub of flesh that burned for his attentions. I groaned, holding his head in my hands, digging my fingers into his short black hair. He was kissing my pussy, licking it while his finger slid in and out slowly. I could hear the soft wet sounds of his mouth and feel his face between my thighs. He was eating my cunt gently, taking his time and I wanted it fast, I was going to cum again, and I was begging with my voice breathless and ragged.

I came hard, my best one yet, and it was because of his mouth, his kisses. I could feel him lapping at my juices as they ran freely, spilling across his fingers and tongue. I pressed against his head with my thighs, my body almost curling with pleasure. I hugged him, as best I could, half sitting up, my stomach muscles tight as I ran my hands across his shoulders, down his back. I was urging him to kiss me there, to keep doing it and never stop. My eyes were shut tight and I knew they were wet, crying for no good reason except that I felt so good right then I'd never felt that good, making love to Deke in my own bedroom.

Deke let me relax a little, pushing me back into my mattress, onto my soft pillows. I was breathing hard, my heart pounding beneath my heaving breasts. I was flushed and damp and happy, laying there with my eyes barely open, watching Deke as he undressed finally, taking off his clothes slowly, carefully, folding them neatly. I admired him, his beautiful black body, his strong thighs and wide shoulders, the way his hard body tapered down to his waist and hips. Deke was so handsome, like some dark god, I thought. My chocolate Adonis, which made me smile and even giggle, licking my lips and becoming impatient.

And his cock! Oh wasn't that the best? What I was waiting for, longing for. It was hard, but too long and too fat and too heavy to stand straight out. It curved downward, dripping precum as he moved. It was huge and dark with a ruddy head, almost pink, and swollen and smooth. I watched it, knowing it would be inside me soon, and knowing it would fit, somehow. It had before and that had been far too long ago, I thought, too long since he'd fucked me with that big fat cock.

"No ... Don't..." I breathed, seeing him pick up a foil condom packet. "Can you just put it in me?"

"You know I don't do that, baby." Deke smiled at me.

"I know, but just once ... Please? If I'm..." I swallowed hard, " ... already pregnant, it won't matter. If I'm not, then I'm not gonna get pregnant." Probably, I thought, knowing my logic wasn't the best right then, but not caring at all.

"I gotta protect my shit," Deke shrugged, but he wasn't opening the packet either.

"We're safe. I'm clean, you know that." I rubbed my pussy, staring at his cock. I wanted him so bad. "Just one time ... Let me feel it..."

"Skin to skin?" he chuckled. "Okay, one time, baby. I'm gonna fuck you good..."