Oh Crap I Died
Chapter 10: Oh Crap! I'll die for this

Copyright© 2011 by Confused_Mind

I locked down the systems on the ship, didn't want anyone taking this thing back any time soon, and gathered everyone in the hall outside the departure room. "OK, we are returning to your place, Helaena, so please everyone to be extremely careful, we don't know what kind of reception we're going to receive. Questions anyone?"

Shakti looked at Tula and then back at me, "I have a question." I nodded for her to ask, "How is it that Tula can speak our language?" Helaena nodded vigorously at this question but Kaytos just looked confused. I figured I should explain.

"Tula, please introduce yourself to everyone." She stepped forward and bowed her head.

"I am Tula of Lakeland clan. I now belong to your clan"

"That would be the freeman clan, Tula. You would be called Tula freeman here." She nodded again and I could see a small smile.

"Kaytos, do you understand anything Tula says? What does she sound like to you?"

Kaytos shook her head vigorously, "It sounds like a series of high pitched noises a small girl would make if you shook them violently." I nodded at her encouragingly and her face went red and she looked down at the floor again.

"Tula, what do we sound like to you?" I asked.

"I hear you all in my language because I have translator implants. They process intelligent audio sounds into compatible language analogs in my language."

"Your seed implant acts as a translator for you, Shakti, Helaena, and anything spoken to you is properly understood. It's a bit different than Tula's, as yours cannot break and is intelligent."

"Uh, may I hear her language un-translated for a moment please?" Helaena requested, Shakti nodded also for this.

I laughed and Maxi let the process laps. "OK, Tula, if you would please recite a simple poem or something ... please?"

I listened to her voice which sounded, once again, a little like Shakti imitating a twittering bird, but at the same time I translated the words she was saying even though Maxi wasn't doing it. It was a short poem or, more correctly, a limerick, that made me laugh at the end. It's hard to tell when someone with dark skin is blushing normally, but in Tula's case her face got darker. "Don't worry, Tula, I won't tell anyone what you said." I said directly in her language.

"Maxi might," she said with a chuckle in her voice, but I could tell she didn't give it away to the others.

"Any more questions?" I asked.

"Why are we going back to the house, Solomon?" asked Helaena, "Isn't it going to be dangerous?"

I moved them into the departure room, "It's doubtful there would be any danger." I smiled, "I've already scanned the area and there are no people on the entire property. We're safe."

The room melted in that distinctive way to reveal the pool area of the yard. The place looked like a bomb hit it. There was garbage all over the place and things had been pulled out of the pool house. The main floor windows of the house were shattered, and the sliding glass door was lying on the ground and also shattered. The opening it left was boarded over with plywood as were all the other windows. The house had been vandalized only slightly with scattered tags from street kids. I could tell that most of the damage had been perpetrated by people that belonged to Kaytos. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she saw the damage. There was little emotional reaction, she didn't care.

I shook my head and ripped off the plywood from the sliding glass door, it led into a severely damaged living room. Smashed furniture and shattered artwork lay around the room. We moved from room to room and took in the devastation. Helaena and Shakti were shell-shocked, and tears trickled down their faces to see their life pulverized and treated like trash. We looped through the entire house and returned to the least damaged room, the kitchen, and I looked at Kaytos. "Start cleaning from the top floor. Come see me in exactly one hour." I said emotionlessly.

She left us and went upstairs, and I stood up two chairs and helped them into it. Helaena, then Shakti, sat beside each other then fell into each other's arms and cried. I held them for a little while and then left them alone in the kitchen. Tula, who had followed us throughout the entire time, followed me into the living room and turned the couch over to sit in. The cushions were torn and shredded, but overall still useable if flipped. She sunk into the couch, not designed for her size and weight, and I sat down next to her.

"Maxi is shocked that something like this could happen."

I leaned over and picked up the phone lying on the floor. The cable had been pulled out of the receiver, so I plugged it back in. I almost dropped the phone when it instantly rang. Tula looked at it blankly and I picked up the receiver and listened.

"You are a difficult person to get hold of, Solomon." I recognized Colonel Besson's voice.

"Especially when I'm not around," I added, "On the planet that is."

I heard her chuckle and cover the phone briefly to tell someone that she got me. "I was hoping to catch your hotel room in Vancouver, but that looks like it's a bust."

"We got a bit sidetracked there. We're back here for now. Place looks like it went to hell in a hand basket, but we need a temporary place of refuge until I can deal with a few things. How'd you know I was here?"

"I can help there if you don't mind. I can have a cleanup crew out there in an hour, and all the windows and doors replaced just as quickly, no cost." she stated all business like.

"Why are you even talking to us? Didn't you have problems of your own to deal with?" I said, fishing for answers.

"You apparently cleared up one of my long distance problems and now I'm all freed up to do my job." she said cryptically.

"Oh, you mean that vessel sitting stationary above Vancouver? If you're still interested, it's stationary above this place now. Come see me. OK?"

I heard her cover the mouthpiece briefly again and mumble commands for someone to check 2000km directly above our place for anomalies. There were a few moments more then she returned, "How the hell did you do ... No, never mind. I'll be there tomorrow, we can talk then, for now I'll send over the cleanup and repair crew. See you." She hung up before I could say anything else.

I hung the phone up and grasped Tula's three fingered lower hand and stood up, "Let's go up stairs, I want to see if I can find something you can wear."

"It's not that important, Solomon." she said as we walked hand in hand.

"It's important for me and for you." I said, as we paused at the bottom of the stairs. I ran my hand gently around the slope of her lower breast and rubbed playfully across its erect nipple. She had the most fascinating nipples that protruded at least 2cm and, by the look of her reaction, quite sensitive, as she leaned into my contact. She realized what she was doing and stepped back.

"You're a most delightful distraction to me, Tula, and that is why we'll need to get you some clothing." I said with a rueful chuckle. She had the perfect mouth for a smile, and when she did smile there were dimples and her non-nose wrinkled in the cutest way. We went upstairs and looked around for some sort of covering. I came across Kaytos diligently cleaning her second room carefully. We watched for a few moments, then I nodded approval at her and moved on in our search.

Helaena came up at one point, clearly having spent sufficient time mourning her damaged house, "What are you two up to?"

She spent some time carefully measuring Tula, although I suspected there was a bit more groping than measuring going on, and then dashed off, "I have the perfect thing for you, Tula, wait there."

It was fun watching Tula walk about in the house, as she had to duck to get through the doors, but she was quite able to stand fully upright at 2.5 meters but she only had about 55cm between her and the ceiling. The fun part was that every time she had to pass from one room to the next she had to bend over or bump her head. She had a really nice ass, and it took all my self control not to touch.

"Maxi thinks Solomon has a thing for ass." she said to me only, "I wish I had an ass." she added wistfully.

"You do have an ass, Maxi," I thought at her. "His name is Solomon." I felt Maxi quickly reference some material before chuckling at me.

"Why would you consider yourself an ass, Solomon?"

Tula and I arrived at the master bedroom, I pointed to a spot at the edge of the bed for her, she sat, the bed complained but held, and we waited for Helaena to show up.

I responded to Maxi, "I don't think I've paid enough attention to your feelings. I've being making love to... , ok, I've had sex with Helaena and Shakti and nothing has been done about your feelings."

Maxi chuckled again, "Maxi feels every bit of pleasure that Helaena and Shakti do, using the connection through the seed. Maxi also has a direct connection to Solomon and can feel the pleasure Solomon feels also. Maxi also loves and accepts Solomon completely, so there is no need to apologize."

I knew she meant every word as truth, but I knew there was another way to make sure that she was included in our love making, I just had to make sure I didn't overwhelm her like I did last time. I guess my thoughts leaked through to her because she hurriedly said, "No, Solomon, that is OK, Maxi doesn't need that at all. Maxi's fine, just fine."

I sent Maxi a feeling of arousal and love that started out so slight that she didn't even notice, and then increased its level slowly until I felt her focus return to me. While Tula and I sat quietly waiting in the master bedroom for Helaena to show up I gave Maxi the equivalent of a gentle love making and orgasm. It was enough to make her incoherent for a short period, then Helaena staggered in and pinned me with a desperate look. "Don't do that again without warning us!"

I heard Shakti yell off in the background, "Again!"

I directed my thoughts to Maxi, "Sorry, Maxi, I'll warn you next time." I could feel warmth and love sent my way, but she was still a bit stunned.

Helaena helped Tula try on the form fitting, for her, toga style dress made from a green micro fleece cloth blanket. To the touch it was as soft was a kitten's fur and warm but, because it could stretch, it was form fitting.

"I threw this together from one of the blankets in the spare room." she explained.

I left them admiring the outfit while I went to check on the lower level and pitch in with Shakti. I figured that the cleanup crews would arrive some time soon. Shakti gave me a scorching kiss when I arrived in the living room where she had been cleaning up. "Let's do that again but for real." she said as she picked herself up off the sofa and grabbed hold of me. I gave her a deep kiss and then set her down on her feet again.

"We have a cleanup crew arriving soon, so we've got to reserve that for another time."

She pouted a bit but ended helping me clean. We were interrupted a while later when the 'cleaning crew' showed up at the front door. The broken windows and shattered furniture were removed and replaced with shiny new windows, doors and new furniture. All the work was completed well after dark and we ordered Chinese takeout. It took a little work, but we found that most of what we could eat was consumable by Tula, with a few exceptions that she found distasteful. We gathered in the light of the pool out back and enjoyed a meal together while listening to Helaena talk quietly about the area. Tula was attentive to this, as she didn't know anything about us let alone the planet she was now on. She had kept to one room on the upper floor that didn't need any major repair or windows replaced so we didn't have to explain a 2.5 meter tall black, multi armed, multi eyed alien in a tight green fuzzy dress to a bunch of freaked out window installers and cleaners.

Upon Tula asking, Shakti related her experiences in meeting me for the first time to her, then Helaena explained how we had met then had to explain about her sister and our trip from Kelowna to Calgary using a tourism train, and then the same train back. Her tale explained something I had not understood and didn't think about at the time, I had purchased tickets on a touring train that made special trips through the Rockies from Vancouver to Calgary. A long convoluted trip meant to display the beauty of British Columbia and the Canadian Rockies. I had assumed that I had bought a plain train ticket direct to Calgary. When I explained this to Helaena she laughed, "You got screwed at the start. They've been trying to sell more of those trips from here for ages. You must of come across like a live one and they sucked you dry." Everyone had a great laugh at my expense and eventually I joined in at the ridiculousness of it. I spent a fortune on travel to get away, and they gave me a getaway most people would have loved to have. Oh, the irony.

They spent some time with Tula, asking about her life and family and planet, and I would have stuck around to listen if I didn't already know most of her life from my mental tour of her mind, but I had some duties to attend to so I excused myself and returned to the house. I paused just inside the door and turned to look back at the group gathered beside the pool. I caught Kaytos's eye and indicated for her to follow me, she froze for a moment than hung her head and followed me inside.

I moved upstairs with her and entered the master bedroom, which now sported a new set of furniture, a bigger sleeping setup that we had delivered earlier today when Helaena had ordered it. Two duplicate king-size beds side by side pushed together and against the wall. I indicated for Kaytos to kneel facing the corner on a fleece blanket. I crouched down beside her and whispered in her ear. "You did very well today, you cleaned without complaint, pitched in when you were not asked and when you were. You did not act rude to Tula or anyone, and you even seemed to be enjoying the work. I think you might be getting close to understanding what I am doing for you."

I let that sink in for a moment, but before she could start feeling all good about herself I added. "You might even be given release some time in this lifetime if you continue like that."

She crumpled a bit and her head hung low. I guided her to her subservient position in the corner, tied her hands up carefully, then played with her for an hour, timed, without letting her feel satisfaction. I left her with her small pillow supporting her head, ass high in the air with knees spread and twitching. I was going to break this hard woman some day, but it was going to take a major amount of work and time on my part.

"Maxi thinks you would almost have to rebuild the entire mind to fix Kaytos properly."

I paused at the door and looked back at her twitching and crying in the corner, "We'll see about that. Just give her a bit more time, maybe?"

I could feel a little bit of the doubt Maxi felt and considered her words. I returned to the others still chatting at the poolside. Tula was narrating a story about her first meeting with her first mate which, even without cultural references, was quite funny. I sat and listened to the stories told by everyone and thought about my own life, although I still didn't remember all of it, most of my life was unpleasant and isolated. I could only remember this period as one of the best because I had people around me that I liked and loved. I could feel Maxi send warm feelings to me. It was getting close to midnight when I suggested to everyone that we close it down for the night and head off to bed. I wanted to have everyone well rested and awake when we had company the next day. I did not have a solid idea what the Colonel wanted to talk about, but I suspected that whatever it was would be quite interesting.

Sleeping arrangements were interesting, especially with Tula in the mix, she's why the second king size bed was ordered and installed. With the beds in position and lots of blankets we were able to have me in the middle with Tula next to me, then Helaena and Shakti on the other side. I woke up in the middle of the night to Tula's 4 arms wrapped around me and Shakti like we were over sized teddy bears and Helaena spooned up against my back. I had to go to take a pee really desperately, and it took a little work to extract myself carefully, but I got to relieve myself in under 15 minutes and getting back into bed was almost as bad. When I finally settled in, I was completely wrapped up front to back by both Tula and Helaena. Shakti had opted to cuddle with the higher warmth of Tula's back. It was quite enjoyable.

I woke in the morning still wrapped up in Tula's arms, but both Helaena and Shakti were gone as was Kaytos. Tula was mostly asleep, 4 of her 6 eyes were closed but two small eyes were open, and I felt like she was looking at me sleepily.

"You have interesting eyes," she whispered to me.

I smiled at her, "Thank you. You have interesting perfected."

That made her smile hugely, "Maxi thinks Tula likes Solomon." I heard her say with a smile in her voice.

"That's good, Maxi, I like her, too." I said.

I touched my tongue to her ear and slowly extracted myself from her embrace, "Time to acquire sustenance and progress in the day." I said with humour. It was a non-joke as she just agreed and got out of bed. I showed her the bathroom and quietly suggested a few things that would make it easier to compensate for her size, then told her I'd meet her in the dining room.

I followed my nose down to the kitchen and out to the pool area, where I heard voices chatting amiably. Wearing housecoat and slippers I stepped out into a military brigade. Helaena, Shakti and Colonel Besson were seated at the table snacking on eggs, bacon, fruit and bread. Around the premises were about 15 heavily armed soldiers standing guard.

I stopped in my tracks and considered the lady currently on her way down stairs. "OK, attention please," I said in a raised voice, "there'll be someone arriving that'll startle you and I won't tolerate any weapons action on this property, so I'd suggest all weapons be secured and locked right now."

I was looking directly at the Colonel at the point. She gave me a suspicious look then shook her head. "Regulations require them to be armed. They're trained enough to not fire frivolously."

"The first person to perpetrate violence will be punished, severely." I added threateningly.

"What are you on about" demanded the Colonel's aid, a stuffy little man standing just behind Colonel Besson.

I paid him little mind and stepped back inside the house to see Tula gingerly making her way down the stairs, wearing three sheets strategically wrapped around her waist and both pairs of breasts. She looked up at me and smiled, I held out my hand to her and she took it and ducked to get through the door. I stepped out of the house with her and stuffy pulled a gun and pointed it at her. I reached inside myself and pulled at a miniscule amount of energy. With a flinging motion I sent the energy at the gun and flung it several meters across the yard, along with stuffy himself attached. Helaena leapt to her feet and jumped in front of Tula, turning to face the other soldiers she shouted, "Stop!"

Shakti did the same thing as her Aunt, and both acted bravely like a shield to stop everyone from hurting her.

A few of the soldiers took aim at me, some at Tula, and a few just swung their weapon around trying to cover everything at once.

The colonel stood slowly and bellowed, "That's enough of that, now!" She scowled at the aide across the yard and slowly scanned the rest of her troops, "This has been quite enough of an embarrassment for one day. Sergeant Kinny, clear everyone out back to the transport and get them loaded up."

In less than a minute the entire pack of armed men were gone, along with the stuffy aide that had to be carried off by two other soldiers.

Colonel Besson brushed off some nonexistent dirt from the front of her uniform and turned to face Tula, "So what do we have here, Solomon?"

Helaena and Shakti each took hold of a lower hand and led Tula up to the Colonel.

"This is Tula and she's K'thlank. She's Solomon's Ne'Dganak. She can't speak English but she can understand you." Shakti said in introduction.

The Colonel sized her up then smiled up at her. She turned to Solomon and raised an eyebrow at him, "Ned gnak? What it that?"

"Ne'Dganak would be, uh, the closest translation would be mate, but even that does not match the meaning." I said.

She smirked and shook her head then returned to the chair she had vacated. "You've gathered quite a harem there, Solomon."

I helped the ladies pull a stone bench over to the table for Tula and sat down last. "It's not a harem, Colonel, these people are important to me in many ways. Enough about me, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment as we ate, Tula trying out everything she could and for the first time filled her place three times. Helaena had to go back in and make more breakfast, with a grateful Tula joining her to watch and learn.

She put her coffee down, facing me she said, "You know that UFO in orbit above us?" I nodded and she continued, "We've observed it for over a year now. It's been here far longer than that but we only found it a year ago. The main vessel behind the moon was only found when you went there yesterday." I nodded, "I, first of all, would love to know anything you can tell me about it."

I grinned at her and began a technical and precise description of everything about the ship, including how to manufacture it. Unfortunately for the Colonel, it was all in the original language found in the database I had raided, a delightfully compact and robust language that could convey a massive amount of information in a small amount of time. The entire information dump took only 5 minutes to do verbally.

"What the fuck was that." She demanded.

I grinned at her, "Decode that and Mankind will become an interstellar civilization inside 10 years."

Her eyes grew wide for a moment, then they crinkled as she let out a laugh. "Even if I believed you, I didn't record what you said so that takes care of that. Let's assume, for the record, you have no understanding of how they work and move on shall we?" I nodded.

Colonel Besson looked thoughtful then spoke, "Suppose everything bad on this planet had a single cause. I'm not talking little Hilda's dropped ice-cream or Jimmy's fall down the stairs. Suppose you had inside information that showed failure of technology or social programs or failure of a research project could be tied to a single group unaffiliated with any particular earthbound group? Now suppose you found out that someone was using people as a resource or slave labour group, or that large parts of the earth were being stripped of its mineral and biological wealth. Would you do anything or everything in your powers to stop it?" she pinned me with a look." What would you do if you found out the people who were doing it had nothing to do with humans?"

"Colonel Besson, I am not one to play games. I know the group you're hinting at does exactly what you describe. They consume the raw resources of any solar system they come in contact with no matter who or what exists there."

The colonel nodded slowly through my entire expose, "I see you're well informed, Solomon, although that's not surprising considering the company you keep." She indicated the still eating Tula, "I believe I might be able to provide you with additional resources and information that can expand on your knowledge."

I smiled at her, trying not to be condescending, I held up my hand to hold her off, "Sorry to interrupt here, Colonel. I have possibly a bit more information about this 'group' than you do, seeing as just a bit earlier I consumed the entire database and command ship library while we docked with it." I tapped my head, "it's all up here and all I have to do is go through it."

"Maxi thinks Solomon should not have said anything about that." Maxi said with an edge of fear.

Colonel Besson looked around with frightened eyes, "You shouldn't have said that, Solomon."

I sensed rather than heard anything, and made myself ready for anything, "Sorry, Solomon, I didn't have a ch..."

The Colonel was removed forcibly from her chair by a fast moving sort of mechanical outfit encased soldier. The humanoid in question blew by the table at a full run, about 20kmh, and I was sure, from what I saw, that Besson was probably dead from the impact, that and the splatter of blood along the cement tiles of the pool deck.

"3 more coming from the same direction," said Maxi quickly, "Switch to augmented sight" she suggested.

I willed my eyes to use a wider spectrum and I could see that we were surrounded by at least 30 of these mechanical exoskeleton soldiers, and along with that were additional fighting units of a form I had never seen before. I could only guess what they were until they attacked.

I stepped in front of the ladies and prepared for the attackers. "Tula, get everyone over to the arrival point by the pool house. We're leaving as soon as you're on board."

The first of the three arrived at full speed and, bracing myself, I grabbed the arm as it took a high speed swing at me on the way by. I heard a scream like a siren as it continued moving and left its arm with me. The momentum spun me around and, accelerating the spin, I let the arm go directly at the second armoured unit just as it broke through the bushes. The piece impacted against the upper torso and flipped it backwards, causing it to land on its back and slide at me. It came to a complete stop under me as I jumped slightly to avoid it. I landed on top of this thing looking down at the face of the soldier inside. The lights were on but nobody was home. I reached out my mind and it was an empty living husk of a human.

"Maxi can detect mostly computational devices and artificial intelligence modules, and this technology does not come from Solomon's planet."

The eyes of the monster opened and looked up at me. The arms at its side rose up lightning quick and I felt myself violently thrown against the wall of the house. I hit so hard that the world wobbled and shrunk to a small distant image for a second. I could hear Maxi screaming in my mind, but that's not possible because Maxi doesn't scream. I watched the strange mechanical device stand and totter for a moment then it stalked towards me. My world came back to me and I heard Maxi's fearful voice. "Solomon! Please come back! Maxi can not lose the Live again!" I could almost hear the need for tears in her voice, but she could not cry.

"I'm here, my love, only stunned a bit." I whispered to her in my mind. To my surprise I felt the surge of relief that almost caused me to cry, but I had an attacker to deal with.

The exo-soldier, what I decided to call it, reached for me roughly and I jumped for the head. I was getting pissed at this and I guess I took it out on the soldier and grasped the casing surrounding the head, I used it to stop my flight and spun around to face the back of it, I then braced my feet against the back and heaved on the edge casing. A horrendous screeching sound of tortured metal, and I pulled the core of the torso out. It felt like I had caused a moose to explode as there was blood and guts flung across the yard. The machine dropped to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut.

I felt a change in the air pressure and ducked just in time to avoid being blindsided by two exo-soldiers. They impacted against each other just above me and I rolled out from under them.

"One more is coming at Solomon from the other side of the house." Maxi informed me.

I felt I had enough and had decided to run when one of the exo-soldiers flipped out a barrel device from the side of its arm and attempted to fire at me. I ducked under the arm and wrenched its aim at the other attacker. There was a bright flare and intense heat, and the attacker took the impact and flew back into the side of the house exactly where I had hit it. A second flare and the exo-soldier's armour began disintegrating, a third shot and it was rammed deeper into the side of the house, a fourth shot and it must have finally hit something critical and the armour blew. When it blew its direction was up, which took most of the upper floor and turned it into wood chips and slivers.

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