Chapter 8

I hurried through my morning routine, anxious to see Kani again. At the restaurant I let her point out one of her tables to me. I sat down and ordered a light breakfast but she was busy and we didn't get many opportunities to talk. I used the time looking for a furnished apartment in the want ads. I circled several ads for places that didn't sound too bad.

I called Sam and told him to call me on my cell if he needed anything. I had to find an apartment and start calling attorneys today. I asked him if he could recommend a good divorce lawyer.

He responded, "Remember this name, Peter Joyce. More than anyone else you want to avoid calling him. I should have sued that son of a bitch for malpractice."

I finally had to get started. I paid Kani for my breakfast and asked her when she'd like to go out for a real dinner. I didn't know what her class schedule was like.

She told me that she's taking a Monday-Wednesday-Friday class this semester. So we made a date for Tuesday evening.

I drove to half a dozen apartment complexes that morning and didn't find one that I felt would be a safe place to sleep in or park my bike out in front of. Each one was nastier than the one before. I finally checked into an extended stay hotel. I couldn't bring myself to stay in any of the apartments I looked at. I called Rick and made arrangements to keep my bike in his garage until I could find a place with a garage.

I drove to the office and checked in with Sam. He smiled and said, "I know it's traumatic, Parker. But I'm glad you're finally making the move. You look happier already."

I couldn't help it. I tried to control it but it was impossible. I thought about last night and I grinned like an idiot.

He laughed and exclaimed, "You son of a bitch! You met someone!"

I knew I shouldn't. But I felt guilty for some reason. I guess because I'm not even moved out yet and I'm only now going to start calling divorce attorneys. I told him about Kani and what a pleasant evening we enjoyed together yesterday. He seemed almost as happy about it as I was.

I opened the phone book and started looking for a divorce lawyer. They all sounded like the best there ever was. Going down the list I recognized one of the names. I don't really know him but he rides a Harley and I've spoken with him at a couple of charity rides and poker runs. I called his office and made an appointment for Friday afternoon.

I called Clark and told him I was moving and asked him what to do about my computer. The only solution was to leave my desktop computer at the house as long as I could. I wouldn't be able to send the video feeds to the hotel because they couldn't go through a switchboard.

I got the keys to one of the company vans, strapped a hand truck in the back and bought some boxes at the local U-Haul dealer. I drove back to the house to start packing my things, hoping that Paula was with her master so that I wouldn't have to confront her.

Paula was home but she stayed in her room for the first few hours. Then she left the house after trying unsuccessfully to pick another fight. I packed up my books, my music and my clothes. I went through the house and gathered my personal belongings; old photos, keepsakes and souvenirs. I didn't touch anything that was connected with Paula in any way.

By the time I drove away that evening the only thing I had left to move was my computer and some things in the garage that I couldn't take until I arranged for storage space somewhere. I left a note for Paula telling her that I didn't have room for the things I was leaving and that I would pick them up sometime within the following week.

It hadn't been a consideration when I rented my suite. But I was very glad now that the place had an elevator. I made a dozen trips with the hand truck piled high, my life condensed into far too few boxes. It was a lot of stuff. But it wasn't much to show for eight years of marriage.

I unpacked most of my clothes from the suitcases, took a shower and went to bed. I was too tired to go out for food. The funny thing was that once I was in bed with the lights out I lay in the dark for a very long time thinking about the wonderful evening I just spent with Kani.

It isn't that I never gave Paula and what would become of her a thought. I didn't want to. I tried not to think about her. She has chosen her own path without any regard for me or our marriage. There was a time when I loved her deeply and even after what I've seen her do in the last few days I couldn't help feeling sorry for her and worrying about her. But I can't save her and I can't live my life trying. This time I need to save myself.

I got up in the morning and hurried to the diner, more to see Kani than to have breakfast. As usual, she was busy with the breakfast crowd so we didn't have much time for conversation. We did manage to solidify our plans for dinner in the evening.

I lingered over breakfast. Once again I reminded myself of a silly schoolboy, happy just to be in the room with Kani. But finally I had to go. I've been worthless at work lately. It's about time I started pulling my weight around there.

I called Clark from my office to let him know where I was staying. I gave Sam and my secretary that same information. I returned a couple dozen phone calls. Then I attacked the minor mountain of paperwork on my desk.

If Sam hadn't come into my office and sat down a few minutes after quitting time I probably wouldn't have known that it was time to go home! But I felt a very satisfying sense of accomplishment. I had finally gotten more or less caught up on my work.

Sam smiled as he saw what little work I had left to do tomorrow and said, "Good job. I was afraid I was going to have to take your advice and fire you."

I chuckled to hide my guilty conscience and replied, "I was going to recommend it."

We talked for a while before I had to go get ready for my first real date with Kani. We were going to a nice restaurant for dinner. I knew I was going to enjoy my time with her. We seem so comfortable together. When we're together it's like we've known each other for years. When we aren't together she's almost all I think about.

It turned out to be an entirely different evening than I planned. When I arrived at her apartment she stepped back and invited me in. When she opened her door all the way and I first got a good look at the dress she was wearing I managed not to gasp, but only just barely. I drew a deep breath and exclaimed, "Jesus, Kani! You're beautiful!"

It wasn't hyperbole. I knew she was pretty. But she went all out this evening. She was truly breathtakingly beautiful.

She blushed but I could see she was pleased. She smiled and said, "I'm not. But thank you for thinking so."

I shook my head and said, "No, really. You look ... you're beautiful!!"

She invited me in again and I finally came to my senses and stepped inside. I knew our plans were changing when I smelled the delicious aromas that filled the air of her small apartment.

She closed the door behind me and we stood in the entryway looking at each other. I was totally speechless.

I was suddenly nervous and she knew it as soon as she looked up at my face. She put her arms around me, smiled and said, "Relax, Parker. If it makes you feel any better, I'm as nervous as you are. I haven't cooked for a man in ... oh god! It's been almost five years!"

"Your cooking isn't what I'm nervous about. And judging from the mouth watering aromas swirling around me I'd guess you know what you're doing in the kitchen."

"What then? Are you afraid I'm going to get you drunk and take advantage of you?"

"In a manner of speaking. I don't want to rush things. Well, I do and I don't. Since I brought you home two nights ago you're just about the only thing I've been able to think about. But I don't want you to wonder about my motives."

What I didn't say, what I was much too embarrassed to say, was that it's been years since I've made love to a woman. It's been that long since I gave up trying to have a normal relationship with Paula. It wasn't possible to please her and the constant effort wasn't worth the unvarying disappointment. I suppose I still know how it's done. But I can't help feeling nervous. I like this woman. I don't want to screw this up by moving too fast or doing something stupid.

She hugged me and said, "I love it that you have doubts. I've had it up to here with arrogant assholes. I haven't been out with a man in a very long time. You're the first man I've met since my divorce who has made me think I should give men another chance.

"I understand what you're feeling, or some of it anyway. This isn't a set up. I don't have an ulterior motive. I just wanted to be alone with you this evening. I want to relax and talk and decide if you're as perfect as I think you are or if I'm grasping at straws."

"I'm far from perfect."

She smiled and said, "I don't think so. Not very far. Not from where I'm standing. Come in and get comfortable. I've poured you a glass of wine. I swear I haven't put anything in it. Dinner will be ready in half an hour."

I followed her into the small, eat-in kitchen and we toasted each other with the wine. She apologized for the wine, explaining that it was cheap but she likes it. It's what she normally buys for herself.

I grinned and replied truthfully, "It's good. I actually prefer cheap wines. I've had wines that cost hundreds of dollars a bottle at business dinners that I didn't enjoy as much as I do a glass of Livingston Cellars burgundy or a cheap bottle of Beaujolais."

We seemed to take up right where we left off two evenings ago. I don't think I've ever felt as comfortable with a woman before as I did with Kani right from the start. I probably made her a little uncomfortable. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The highlights in her soft, honey blonde hair kept catching my eye.

And her eyes! Her eyes are such a startling bright blue that they seem backlit. Her slender figure in the simple little black dress she was wearing could not have been more perfect.

But as heart stopping as her appearance is, those things were overshadowed by her soft, lyrical voice, her quiet laugh that sent chills down my spine, and most of all, her warm, loving nature that was apparent in everything she said. She didn't seem to have a harsh thing to say about anyone or anything. She even felt sorry for Paula and understood perfectly my own mixed feelings about my soon to be ex.

After enjoying one of the most perfect meals I've ever eaten I insisted on helping with the cleanup. Her apartment is so small that there isn't room for a dishwasher. So I helped her clean off the table and then I washed dishes while she dried and put them away.

Even that mundane chore was fun with Kani. She would stand next to me, so close I could feel the warmth from her body. And each time she moved to put a dish away she would slide her hand lightly across my shoulders or my back. Each time her hand came into contact with some part of me it sent a warm thrill through me.

We finished in the kitchen and took the last of our wine into the living room. We sat on the couch with soft music playing in the background. We talked quietly and looked into each other's eyes. For some reason I was no longer afraid that there was something wrong with what we were doing; that we were moving too fast. I was no longer worried that this was just one of those rebound things. What I was feeling had to be more than that.

She nestled against my shoulder and I put my arm around her. We were quiet for a long time. But it was a comfortable quiet. We both finished the last of our wine before she said, "I don't believe in god. I don't believe in fate. And I've never really believed that for everyone there is a perfect mate. Please don't panic. But I think I believe that now. I think you're perfect and I've never enjoyed being with another person more than I enjoy being with you.

"I know it's too soon. But I can't help what I feel. I don't think I've heard a word anyone has said to me since I got up yesterday morning. You're the only thing I can think about. This evening only confirmed it. I've never enjoyed spending an evening with anyone as much as I've enjoyed this quiet dinner with you.

"Everything about you is perfect. I love the way you look and I love the way you look at me. I love the way you speak. I love it that even after what you've been through in the last eight years you aren't bitter. I love it that more than anything else you feel pity for Paula."

She turned to face me, obviously fearful of what she might see in my face; afraid that she might be scaring me off. I took her empty wine glass from her and placed it beside mine on the coffee table. I sat up and took her in my arms and our lips met. This wasn't our first kiss. She kissed me lightly when I dropped her off after dinner Sunday night. This started out like that. But very quickly it became very much more than that.

As the heat from our passionate kiss exploded around us I felt my insecurities melting away ... well, most of them. I had resolved to take things slow with Kani. It seemed to me to be inappropriate for me to be dating before I spoke with an attorney about my divorce at the very least. Kani's kiss dissolved that thought from my mind.

But my primary fear remained. I had been unable to satisfy my wife in the eight years of our marriage. How could that not be, at least to some degree, my fault? And even if it wasn't my fault that I couldn't arouse Paula, it's been years since I've made love to a woman. There are so many embarrassing things that could go wrong!

Kani was breathing heavily when she pushed away from me and stood up. She took my hand, pulled me to my feet and led me to her bedroom without a word. She left the bedroom door open. We could hear the soft music still playing on her stereo and the light filtering in through the open door was just right for making love.

She turned and took me in her arms and, I suspect not unknowingly, she said the perfect thing.

"Are you as nervous as I am?"

I smiled and quietly replied, "What have you got to be nervous about?! You're perfect!"

And then we began to kiss again. But this time our hands joined in the fun. We began to caress each other for several long minutes, or a heartbeat, I'm not sure which. Our lips remained welded together and our tongues danced lovingly even as my hand found the zipper on the back of her dress and began to slowly draw it down to her waist.

We separated long enough for me to slide the dress off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor at her feet. She stood before me then in only a pair of lacy black bikini panties. Her perfect beauty took my breath away. I finally managed to tear my eyes away from her perfect body and look into her eyes. She was actually nervous, as if I might find fault with some part of her!

In a voice choked with emotion, and a heavy dose of lust, I whispered, "Kani! You're ... perfect!"

I'm sure that there's a better word than perfect but at the moment I couldn't think of it, except to say, "You're beautiful!"

I didn't understand the obvious relief I saw in her eyes. How could she not know how exquisite she is?!

We kissed again and my hands finally cupped the soft, warm, firm flesh of her pert breasts. She moaned as my fingers caressed her but then she stepped back and breathlessly exclaimed, "You're driving me crazy!!"

I was happy to hear it. That was my intention.

She smiled and said, "Two can play that game."

With that she began to all but tear my clothes off. I was a willing accomplice. When I was left standing in only my jockey shorts she squatted down and kissed the throbbing bulge in my underwear, then slowly worked them down and off. As she slid my jockeys down my legs she nuzzled my erection with her soft cheek and kissed it softly for a moment before whispering, "It's perfect! You're perfect!"

We were both using that word a lot. Could it be because that's what we are for each other?

Of course I was being prejudged. But her words and her honest emotions did wonders for my confidence.

I helped her to stand and she turned to pull the covers down on her bed. I lifted her in my arms and said, "I love you, and I want you so much that I can hardly breathe!"

I placed her in the middle of her bed, slowly pulled her panties down and off and then stretched out beside her. We kissed and explored and whispered to each other and then I did all those things with her that I once did with Paula. But the difference was breathtaking.

I knew I shouldn't keep thinking of Paula, comparing them. I have to get Paula out of my mind. She is my sad past. But I couldn't help enjoying the difference as I lovingly explored Kani's perfect body with my lips and my tongue and my fingertips and drove her crazy with passion. She enjoyed one earthshaking orgasm after another as I made love to every part of her body.

I wasn't just causing her pleasure, though. She was having the orgasms. But I enjoyed it every bit as much as she did. I kissed and licked my way down her body, worshipping her perfect breasts and her taut, sensitive nipples for a very long time before continuing down and nestling comfortably between her legs.

She went out of her mind as I devoured her juicy mound, crying out and convulsing through a long series of orgasms. And when I lifted her legs in the air and began to explore between the cheeks of her perfect ass she gasped and exclaimed, "What are you ... what ... OH MY GOD!!"

I stiffened my tongue and worked inside of her back passage and as I did she groaned and whispered, "No one has ever... !"

That was as far as she got before her lower body came up off the bed and she bit her pillow to keep from screaming so loud the neighbors would complain. She convulsed through another orgasm before she managed to plead through panting breaths, "Please! Parker! Please, fuck me! Love me! I need you. I need you inside of me!"

I lowered her legs and kissed her succulent pussy a few more times. Her delicious juices were running out of her like I've never experienced before. I lapped up what I could before she wrapped her fingers in my hair and pulled me up over her. Our lips met in a violent kiss and she reached between us to guide my hard cock to her beautiful, sexy opening.

I think I must have forgotten how wonderful it feels to have a warm, moist vagina clamp down on my cock. I know it's a wonderful feeling. But I can't remember it being like this. Not this amazing.

I entered her slowly and as I did we both shuddered in pleasure. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and moved her lips over my chest, kissing and licking and even gently biting. She was driving me out of my mind and I was afraid I was going to lose it in that first thirty seconds!

I stopped when our pubic mounds met, afraid to move until I regained control. I looked down at her and softly said, "I love you so much."

She moaned and pulled my face down to hers. She licked her juices from around my mouth and said, "I love you more."

We kissed again and I began to move my hard cock, stroking into her slowly, lovingly.

She sighed and said, "Oh god! That feels so good! I love your cock!"

It was nice to hear, though I knew there was nothing special about it. I've seen a lot of hard cocks in the last few days, watching the video of Paula being used by a not inconsiderable army of horny old men. I saw a lot of cocks that were considerably larger than mine. I come equipped with a pretty average cock. It's just a little less than seven inches long. It's perhaps slightly bigger around than many of those I've seen but I doubt if it's enough larger than average to be noticeable.

I suppose, though, that unless they are hung like a horse most men are insecure enough that they enjoy a little reassurance from our partners that they are pleased with our cocks. I certainly felt much better hearing those words from the woman I have so suddenly fallen deeply in love with. But then, maybe it's just me. It could be that because I couldn't satisfy my wife I needed to hear those words more than most men would.

Kani was not a passive partner in our lovemaking. She thrust back eagerly and her hands moved over my body right up until the very end. She moaned and she groaned lustily and constantly murmured sweet obscenities as we made love. Her fingernails clamped down on my shoulders when her orgasm took control of her body. It should have been painful but somehow it was such an erotic experience for me that I nearly lost it then.