Chapter 5

Allison talked to Donna that night, and the next day she came to my apartment to talk to me. It was a warm evening, and she was wearing shorts and sandals and a white knit top that left her navel bare. I could see the color as well as the shape of the tips of her nipples. I took her in my arms and kissed her deeply, but then I put my hands on her shoulders and held her at arms' length.

"Remember how we talked about having a conversation with all our clothes on? I think it's time."

"I think so too," Allison said, and then she giggled. "If only to prove we can do it. I'm a horny little slut, you know."

"I know. I'm pretty randy myself, and I'd like to ravish you right now, right here in the living room. But let's sit down instead." And I sat down on the couch.

"And I want to be ravished," she said, "but we'll have time for that."

I could see her eyeing the easy chair across the corner of the coffee table, but she rejected that idea and settled on the sofa beside me. Snuggling against my shoulder she said, "So what shall we talk about?"

"Well," I said, "we can talk about us as in you and me, or we can talk about us as in you and me and your family."

"We can talk about the you-and-me us later. I think it might actually be easier to talk about family."

"Okay," I said, "your mom. You walked in on me fucking her in the ass, and you ended up licking her pussy while she came. That's pretty ... unusual."

"You mean kinky ... maybe perverted. Yeah, but how did it make you feel?"

"Shocked, at first," I admitted. "But when I saw it didn't bother you that I was fucking your mom ... when I saw you actually joining in ... it was ... it was a very erotic experience. How can I say it... ? I don't know ... when you joined in it was like ... oh! This Allison is so ... so totally..."

"Yeah, perverted!"

"NO! You were just so out there on the edge ... so honestly responding to your own feelings! I ... well, I might have fucked your mother's ass awhile longer if I hadn't been so excited by you. I was. And you, you were so willing to ... what was your word ... share."

"And that's because I was almost sure of what I was sharing." Allison twisted around and laid her head in my lap, looking up into my eyes. One of my hands came to rest on her naked midriff, while the other stroked her hair.

"I know Mom is a very sexy woman," she said. "I think I probably know it even better than she does. I've seen the way men look at her ... married men, single men, old men, young men. But I don't think she ever saw it. Daddy saw it. And I know he didn't like it. That's so different. Because I like it when other women look at you and think you're sexy. It makes me feel good because I saw you first. Okay, maybe not first, but latest. It might make me jealous if I thought you were looking at other women ... my mother ... my sister ... just like you look at me." She took my hand and placed it on her chest. "But I feel in here it's different."

"So we're talking about us as in you-and-me now," I said.

"Yeah, I guess we are," Allison said, and then she gently laid my hand aside and sat up, backing off to face me a couch cushion away. "And we're talking with all our clothes on. Is it different?" she asked.

"What?"

"You and me," she said. "Are we different?" And the combination of assertiveness and vulnerability in her voice melted my heart. Her eyes were open and defenseless.

"Yes," I said. "We're different from anything I've ever experienced, and I've lived longer than you. But you may be wiser than me. I could decide to ignore my feelings about Donna. I could put her behind me. I would do that for you. But you know I would always wonder. Looking into the distant future, you can feel me wondering, what about her sister?" I met Allison's eyes, knowing I was helpless to resist their beauty, but I tried to stay concentrated on finding all of my true feelings.

"The distant future," I said, "yeah I'm looking at us together way out there; I admit it. I'm the one who said the 'L' word, remember? You haven't said it yet."

"You want me to say the 'L' word?" Her eyes flashed. "Love! I'm in love with you! Try to tell me you didn't know that. Try to tell me you're not in love with me too."

We were still sitting apart. I yearned to take her wordlessly into my arms, but I knew that words were what were called for here. "I can't deny it," I said.

She leaned toward me, but my hands were out, motioning for her to stay away. "Don't touch me now," I said. "Just look at me, okay, look at my eyes."

I looked earnestly into her eyes. "I'm not sure," I admitted, struggling to make my words match my honest feelings. "You and me," I said, "I can't even imagine a time when it's not you and me. And yet I can. I can imagine me with somebody else. Donna. She's tangled up in my desires. Honestly, there's a risk there."

"That's why we need to take that risk, both of us," she said. "If you find something more with Donna, you need to know that. I need to know that. You can go forward and I can go forward. Nobody looking back. But I believe I'm going to win. I don't think Donna can get to you like I did. Go for it! See if I'm not right."

What could I say to that? Nothing. So I changed the subject.

"Donna..." I said, "how did she react?"

"Oh, wow!"

"What happened?"

"Well, I waited until Mom went to bed, just to make it look good, and then I went to Donna's room. I wasn't wearing anything but my sleep-shirt, a big old oversize T-shirt. That just seemed right, somehow. I didn't have any real big plan. I thought I'd just talk to Donna and see how it went."

"And?" I said.

"It was kind of hard to get started," Allison began, "so I just said, 'I guess we need to talk about Robert.'

'Why?' Donna asked.

'You like Robert?'

'Yeah, I guess so.'

'But you don't want to get involved?'

'I don't think so. Why?'

'Cause I did.'

'Did what?'

'Get involved. With Robert.'

'Involved?'

'Yeah, I fucked him Saturday night.'

"And I could tell Donna's mind was just totally blown away. And not so much that I might have fucked you, but that I could say it like that to her.

'Allison!' she said.

'Donna?' I said.

'You didn't, ' she whispered.