Klutz
Chapter 21

Copyright© 2011 by MisguidedChild

"Morning Jack," Bill said grinning at Tim. Bill's cell phone was sitting on the counter top with speaker phone activated. Jack's phone had rung several times before Jack answered it and Bill suspected that he woke his brother up again. "I have you on speaker phone so don't say anything you wouldn't want your future sister-in-law to hear."

It was 9:30 Saturday morning and Bill was sitting across from Tim at the counter in the 5th wheel. They had been discussing some plans to put Sandra in her place for nearly an hour. Susan had listened in fascination as the two men planned out 'Mission Sandra' with the precision of a military operation.

"Thanks Susan," Tim said as Susan refilled his coffee cup.

"Thanks honey," Bill said as she refilled his.

Susan kissed Bill and smiled. She could hear the incomprehensible sounds coming from Bill's phone. It was obvious that Jack couldn't say what he wanted to say after Bill's admonition.

"What time is it?" Jack was finally able to ask.

"9:30," Bill answered his brother brightly. "Haven't you ever heard that the early bird gets the worm?" he asked.

"I think I ate the worm last night," Jack groaned. "Why are you awake so early on Saturday? I thought you guys were going out last night."

"I lost, or won depending on your point of view. Tim beat me with rock-paper-scissors so I was the designated driver," Bill explained.

Jack just grunted before saying, "We decided to have a few drinks after the guys knocked off at the construction lot. All I had to do was walk across the field so didn't have to worry. I think I made my mistake when I switched from beer to some really good Tequila one of the Mexican guys had. You know Ramirez. His dad made it so we tried it and it was very good."

"He could barely crawl when he got home," Bill heard Linda call in the background.

Bill chuckled and said, "Maybe you should have had a designated walker."

Jack groaned again before asking, "What do you want Bill? I want to go back to sleep."

"Are you sure you'll remember if I tell you now?" Bill asked smiling at his little brother's condition.

"I'll remember," Jack grumped.

"Why don't you put yours on speaker phone too so Linda can hear," Bill suggested. "That way I don't have to repeat this conversation later today."

Jack didn't respond but they heard the background sound change. Then they heard a groan as Jack settled back on his pillow.

"Hi Bill," Linda called. "Is Susan with you? Are you two behaving yourselves? Do I need to send the boys up to chaperone you two?"

"Morning Linda," Bill said laughing. "Susan and Tim are both with me and we are on speaker phone too."

"Hi Linda," Susan said. "I don't need any more chaperones but you can send them up if you want to. Maybe they can distract some of the chaperones that I already have so I can make a dent in Bill's armor."

"Good luck with that," Linda replied sarcastically. "Bill's as stubborn as Jack and once either one of these two make up their minds you can't move them with dynamite. I think it's a character flaw they got from their dad because their mom seemed like a reasonable person."

"Good morning Linda. Tell Jack I said good morning too when he wakes back up," Tim called.

"I'm awake," Jack grumbled. "Bill, when are you going to fire Tim? You know he doesn't know anything about construction."

Bill ignored all the byplay and asked, "Do you mind if I use the Pretty Boys for the next week or so?"

"No. Of course not," Jack answered. "What's up?"

"Well, Tim and I were talking and we would both be more comfortable with a few more of our own eyes on the job," Bill explained.

There was silence on the phone for a moment before Jack asked, "And?"

Bill chuckled at his brother's perception. The guy could be dead drunk and he was still sharper than any five other guys. "Remember the skank that thinks she's God's gift to men I told you about?"

"Yeah," Jack answered.

"Well, she's been giving Susan a hard time and pissing me off," Bill explained. "Last night I found out that Susan isn't her only target. Tim and I have an idea to give another of Sandra's favorite targets a confidence boost and pull Sandra down a rung or three at the same time."

"Ohhhh, I love it when they get in sneaky mode," Linda squealed.

"So do I," Susan agreed with a giggle. "I've been listening to them plan this out though and I've got to tell you. I hope they never get mad at me. These guys are terrible. Aren't they great?"

"They are wonderful," Linda agreed laughing.

"So what can the Pretty Boys do to help you?" Jack asked.

"Stop right now," Susan ordered. "I want to know what the Pretty Boys are before anybody explains anything else. Bill and Tim have been teasing me with this since Tim got here this morning and I want to know what they are right now."

"I told you Susan," Bill said blandly. "They're just a couple of construction workers that do framing for us in the valley."

"Riiiigggghhhhtttt," Linda said sarcastically. "I've got a word of advice for you Susan. Don't believe a word he says when he gets that 'butter won't melt in my mouth' sound."

"I've already figured that out," Susan said with a snort. "So will you tell me who they are?"

"The Pretty Boys are a couple of construction workers but the yummiest two on the planet," Linda replied laughing. "They're twins and they moonlight as male strippers at a club in Scottsdale. I'd trade Jack for either one of them in a New York minute but Jack won't go away."

"Hell," Jack harrumphed. "They're pretty enough that I would even consider switching sides."

Susan giggled and said, "No man can be that pretty."

"Oh yes they can," Bill said with all seriousness.

"Just wait until you see them," Tim confirmed.

"You'd better have a pair of dry panties ready," Linda advised with a laugh.

"Linda!" Bill protested.

Tim's hands were over his ears and he said, "Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na."

Jack started laughing and said, "When Linda starts talking about those two there isn't any way to predict what she will say."

"So you guys shut up for a minute and let Linda describe them to me," Susan ordered with mock sternness.

"OK, you guys heard the lady. Shut up a minute," Linda said laughing. "Their names are Jerry and Jim Morgan and they're identical twins. They're just over six feet tall and weigh about 200 pounds and every ounce is in just the right place. They have curly brown hair that they wear just long enough to run your fingers through." Linda hesitated and asked, "Susan, have you seen one of those infomercials for exercise equipment?"

"Yeah," Susan replied with relish. "I've wondered where they find the hunks to sell their stuff."

Linda snorted and said, "Think of the best looking guy that you've seen on one of those commercials and multiply it by ten and you'll get close to one of the Pretty Boys. Then you have to double it because there are two of them. They're both tanned from working outside. Every muscle on their bodies stands out like it wants to define itself as the most important muscle on their body. Some of the girls and I went out once and saw them dance and believe me, their most important muscle was pretty exciting too. They weren't nude but the Speedos they had on at the end of their act didn't leave anything to the imagination. Their faces are almost angelic and their eyes are such a bright blue I thought they must be wearing contacts or something. They don't. The women went nuts when they came out on the stage and every time they dropped an item of clothing the women went just a little crazier. They must have made $3000 dollars the night we saw them."

"Wow," Susan said fanning her face. "They must have women climbing all over them."

"A lot of women try but most don't get anywhere," Linda said.

"Why? Are they married or gay?" Susan asked.

"No, neither one," Linda said with a laugh. "They go out sometime but they said most of the women they run into are just interested in their looks. They aren't interested in shallow people. Those are their words. I think Tim corrupted them."

"Wow," Susan said again. "Is there a repository of good guys down there in Phoenix? Ruth and I always thought all the good guys were taken then we met Bill and Tim. We thought we got the last of them but now you're telling me there are two more and they're unattached. That's just impossible."

Linda laughed gaily and said, "I was thinking kind of the same thing when I met Jack. It's actually pretty amazing how many good guys they have on their crews. The wild ones or the jerks don't seem to stick around. I finally figured out the old saying 'birds of a feather flock together' applies. You and I have good guys Susan and they just don't associate with jerks."

There was a strange sound on the phone and Linda laughed again. "Jack fell back to sleep. The poor baby really did get hammered last night and his snoring sounds like air brakes on a semi when he's been drinking. He doesn't drink very often but I think that homemade tequila snuck up on him. I've heard some of the guys commenting about Ramirez's dad's tequila. They said it's smoother than anything they can buy in the stores."

They all laughed at the weird sound and Bill asked, "Are you guys planning on driving up Friday night?"

"Yeah," Linda replied. "We thought we would leave about noon on Friday and get into Show Low about 3:30 or 4."

"Sounds good," Bill replied. "Why don't you ask Jerry and Jim to follow you up with another 5th wheel? I'll make sure there's a place to park it behind mine in the park and they can bunk with Tim. That would give Tim some chaperones to help him keep his honor intact."

"Ruth is pretty persistent," Tim agreed.

"You guys are so old fashioned," Linda complained.

"That's for sure," Susan grumped.

"So what's your plan with the Pretty Boys?" Linda asked.

"Well, we really need to talk to them first to see what they're comfortable with," Bill replied. "We know that if they are at the party the skank, Sandra, won't be able to resist making a run at them. Our plan is to have them turn Sandra down and then flirt with Mary. We still need to talk to Mary to see if she'll agree but we need to talk to Jerry and Jim to see if they're OK with it too. You know how fastidious they are about people's feelings and how proper they are."

Linda snorted and said, "Yeah. Jack said they would be a better fit in a seminary than a construction crew."

"So, how do they rationalize being so proper with being male dancers and having all those women screaming at them and throwing money at them," Susan asked curiously.

"I don't know," Linda said. "I don't even know why they're working in construction. They only dance a couple of nights a week and they could triple their income by dancing just a couple of more nights. Jack and Bill pay top wages but they can't match what those two could bring in by dancing just a couple of nights more a week."

"They understand the dancing isn't a real job and can be a trap," Tim said seriously. "It's just a way to earn some extra money."

"They aren't rich. What do they spend the money on?" Linda asked.

Tim hesitated before saying, "All the money they make from dancing goes to the Boys and Girls Club in Tempe. They don't keep a dime of it."

"So that's why they are hesitant to work outside the Phoenix area. And, if we bring them up for a couple of weeks we could be cutting into something important to them," Bill said musingly. "Linda, you keep the company books. How much does the company contribute to charities?"

"I think it worked out to about 13% last year. Most of that was to the big charity organizations," Linda said after thinking about it a moment. "What do you have in mind?"

"What do you think about redirecting most of that to the Boys and Girls Club?" Bill asked. "Jerry and Jim are pretty smart guys and if they think that's a worthwhile effort then it must be. If they're that dedicated to it then they will be concerned about missing a few weeks but maybe we can help by covering at least part of their donations."

"Sure," Linda said. "I don't think Jack would care. He just wanted to make sure at least 10% of our profit went to charity and wanted to make sure it didn't get in the hands of fat cats running charities for the prestige."

"OK, I'll call Jerry and Jim this weekend and make sure they're OK with all this," Bill said. "We really do need another couple of eyes on the job and I think an attitude adjustment for Sandra is past due."

"Sounds good to me," Linda said. "I'll bring hubby up to speed when he gets back to the land of the living."

"Good talking to you again Linda," Susan said. "I'm looking forward to meeting you in person Friday." The two women had started talking during the daily calls and had become long distance friends. Both women were excited about meeting the other face to face. Linda was excited because her husband's little brother had finally met someone that he wanted to settle down with. Susan was excited because, as an only child, she was finally gaining a brother and sister. Ruth had always filled that role but she always missed having a real brother and sister. She didn't love Ruth any less and she knew their bond was closer than most sisters. Susan hoped and believed Linda would be the real sister that she never had.

"Me too," Linda said and her grin could be heard through the phone.

"See you Linda," Tim called.

"Tell my brother to get his head out of the bottle," Bill said with a laugh.

"We'll bring a bottle up with us," Linda promised. "Ramirez said he would bring a bottle in for Jack."

"Party time!" Tim exclaimed. "I've tasted some of his dad's tequila. It's to die for."

"Do you like tequila?" Susan asked Bill.

"Tequila is OK but usually it's pretty harsh. Margaritas are how I usually drink Tequila," Bill said.

"Not what Ramirez's dad makes," Tim said confidently. "You can mix it but it would be a shame because it's so smooth."

"Good," Susan said. "Maybe I can get him drunk and take advantage of him."

They all said their goodbyes and ended the call with wishes that Friday would hurry up and get there. Tim left soon after the call was finished to pick up Ruth. They had plans for the day but Susan was pretty sure that Ruth's and Tim's plans were not the same. Tim thought the day's agenda was just seeing some of the hidden vistas of the Mogion Rim that Ruth knew about. The Mogion Rim was over 200 miles of escarpment that started west of Sedona and extended east of Show Low. Some of the views from the towering cliffs could take your breath away. Bill, Susan and the girls had been included in the plans but Susan had begged off after some stealthy planning with Ruth. Susan knew the couple's day included a picnic lunch and a blanket on the ground in a secluded glen. There would be no chance of interruptions in the hidden meadow the women were thinking about.

Susan cuddled up to Bill's side as soon as the door closed behind Tim. Her head resting against his chest and her hand was resting on Bill's belly just above his belt. She started rubbing his belly and her hand started inching down. "Well, Tim's gone and the girls are still asleep. What should we do now?"

Bill quietly chuckled at the comment and captured her hand as it moved below his belt. "I don't think it's safe to be alone with you woman," he chuckled as he kissed the top of her head. "I'm not made of steel you know."

Susan's hand escaped his and darted below his belt. "You feel like steel," she said grinning.

Bill moaned and pulled her hand back to his chest. "Susan," he murmured. "I'm trying to do the right thing honey. I'm trying to be good."

"What if I don't want you to be good?" Susan murmured back before raising her head to kiss the underside of his chin.

"Get a room," Beth said walking in the room and yawning.

Susan jumped at Beth's words and her head hit Bill under his jaw. He shook his head to clear the stars he momentarily saw and glared at the two teenagers.

"They have a room," Mandy said walking in behind Beth. "Mom just can't get him in it."

"You girls are going to get someone hurt by surprising them like that," Bill complained. "You could have announced yourselves, like with a marching band or something." He rubbed his jaw. "And why aren't you wearing those robes I bought you?"

Both girls were wearing the nightgowns Bill had bought for them the week before. They didn't really show anything but they looked way to good to be worn by a couple of teenagers.

Susan was rubbing the top of her head and glared at Bill. "How can your jaw be so hard?"

"It isn't hard. Your head is just soft," Bill retorted.

"Oh, now I'm soft in the head am I?" Susan huffed and crossed her arms.

"Why not Bill?" Beth asked.

"Why not what?" Bill asked.

"Why don't you just take her back to your room like she wants you to? Everybody does it," Beth said.

"Because he's a stubborn, block headed, pain in the butt," Susan answered for Bill.

Bill ignored her and said, "Because I love her and think she's special. I think she's special enough to wait until we get married. And you're changing the subject again. Robes? You're supposed to be wearing the robes."

"More like special and needing a short bus," Susan muttered. "I'm so frustrated I could scream."

"As long as you know that I love you," Bill said smiling and leaned over and kissed the top of her head again, carefully. He didn't want his teeth knocked out and by her hard head.

"She's going to be a wreck by the time you guys get married," Mandy advised Bill.

"You're not going to answer my question about the robes are you?" he asked with a sigh. "So, how was the party last night?" Bill asked trying to change the subject again.

"It was fun," Mandy said.

"And Carl's real nice," Beth said with a giggle.

"They weren't doing very much of the stuff I thought they would at a party for 18 year olds," Mandy grumped.

"Yeah," Beth supplied. "Hardly anyone was kissing or anything."

"Mrs. Randle let Carl ride home with us when Jimmy brought us home," Mandy said.

"He showed me how to kiss," Beth said with a dreamy voice.

"As long as that's all he's showing you," Susan huffed as she sat up straight.

Beth rolled her eyes and said, "Don't worry mom. Carl can't do anything that Jimmy can't do and now that Mandy put the brakes on and Bill told him to behave, well, all we can do is kiss."

Bill nodded his head and said, "Good kid."

"So, what are we going to do today?" Mandy asked.

"Obviously not what I wanted to do," Susan grumped but she lay her head back against Bill's chest.

Bill stroked her wild mop of hair and whispered, "I love you."

Susan groaned and snuggled tighter against him and quietly asked, "I love you too but how can I stay mad at you when you're so sweet?"

"Why do you want us to wear the robes?" Beth asked. "The nightgowns cover everything."

"Because you two are as beautiful as your mom and running around in..." Bill started but what he was saying ended in a gasp. He didn't get any farther because Susan had kissed his neck just below his ear. He was very sensitive there.

Mandy snickered and said, "Maybe we should get dressed and leave Beth. We can get Jimmy and Carl alone and try some of mom's moves. They look, ah, interesting."

"Su-s-an," Bill said pushing her away. He was flushed and breathing a little hard. "You girls get dressed. We're going for a picnic. We're going right now. We can go out on the Rim and maybe we'll see Ruth and Tim."

Susan looked concerned for a moment then relaxed. She knew where Ruth planned on taking Tim. All Susan had to do was take them in the opposite direction. She smiled to herself as she hugged Bill. She thought she was wearing him down. Maybe she should take a blanket along too. Maybe she could get the girls to take a hike while they were stopped.


The trip to the Mogion Rim didn't work out like Ruth or Susan had hoped. Ruth got Tim to the secluded clearing like she had planned and even had the blanket out. They finished eating their lunch and Ruth was implementing her plan to have Tim for desert when a bear came out of the woods. Black bears were pretty common along the rim in early summer but meeting one certainly wasn't in Ruth's plans. They had grabbed the blanket but the remnant of their lunch was still on the ground when they drove away. Susan didn't even get that far. Bill wanted to go hiking with the girls so Susan trudged along behind and mumbled about idiot men.

Bill took them shopping for safety equipment after they got back to town. Construction sites could be dangerous and insurance rules were very specific about what safety equipment was required by anyone on the site. Now that construction was in full swing all three of them would need all the safety equipment required for a construction site. Susan and the girls were excited when they were fitted for steel toed boots. Bill was smothered in kisses and hugs from all three when he presented each of them with a pink hard hat with their names on them.

Susan and Ruth got together Sunday to comfort each other in their seduction failures. They decided their only course of action was to keep trying and devised several strategies to drive their men crazy. The two women figured they could have the men drooling by the next weekend.

Bill and Tim got together and discussed their problems. Those problems included impatient fiancées, construction issues, frustrated girl friends, Brian and his friends, impatient women, Sandra, and annoyed fiancées. They agreed that something had to be done. They couldn't keep going like this. Both men wondered if their ideas of what was right for their women could be completely wrong.

Bill did reach the Morgan twins and, after explaining the construction challenges and personality issues, agreed to work in Show Low for a few weeks. Bill and Tim picked up Ruth, Susan and the girls for an early afternoon lunch at Paddy's. They asked to be seated in Mary's area and were seated in the most secluded seat that would be served by Mary. They didn't want anyone to overhear their planning because they didn't want anything getting back to Brian or Sandra. Penny joined them while they were convincing Mary to go along with the plan so they agreed that Mary would be one of the servers at the party. Mary agreed only if she could meet the Morgan twins before Saturday. She was embarrassed by the whole situation but she was more embarrassed by the way Sandra treated her in public.

The following week wasn't as easy as the weekend. It started out hectic, got a lot more hectic, and ended up dangerous.


Construction equipment and materials started delivery to the work site Monday and continued all week. The paperwork threatened to overwhelm Susan but she was able to get caught up each afternoon when the girls got there for filing. By Thursday afternoon there were stacks of lumber and pallets of rebar and concrete and all kinds of other material stacked at the job site. Most of the concrete would be delivered in cement trucks but smaller jobs would need the 50 pound bags to be manually poured. Because the total size of the construction site was so small the materials and equipment were clustered around the construction office trailer. There was a gauntlet of equipment and materials that had to be threaded through to get to the 5th wheel.

Bill and Susan arrived at the construction site about 6:30 on Friday morning and fortunately, they were both wearing their mandatory steel toed boots and hard hats. It was their habit to be the first to the site to have a cup of coffee with Tim and plan the day. They were both planning a short day on Friday to get ready for Jack, his family, and the Pretty Boys.

"Susan, you've got to quit wearing those night gowns," Bill complained. "I can't stand it. At least put a robe on."

Susan smiled to herself. Susan and Ruth had purchased some new night clothes to tease their men with. The night gowns didn't really show anything but they hinted at everything. Ruth had more of a problem teasing Tim than Susan did. Ruth had resorted to answering the door in her outfits when she knew it was Tim. Susan on the other hand just wandered out to get a cup of coffee in the morning or sat in his lap wearing one of the outfits at night to kiss him good night. Susan and Ruth thought their campaign would be successful.

"Do you mean you don't like my night gowns?" Susan asked pouting.

"I like them too much and you know it," Bill protested.

Bill was following Susan through the maze of materials as they were talking.

"If it bothers you too much then I'd be happy to take care of your 'big' problem," Susan said gaily over her shoulder. She stepped on a board lying in her path. The board shouldn't have been there. Despite the chaos of the construction site, it was kept neat and orderly. Nothing was left lying around for any reason. The board wasn't flat on the ground but it went down with Susan's weight. The board had been positioned like a lever and when she stepped on it a pallet of cement slid sideways. Susan didn't even have time to scream. The top layer of 50 pound bags slid off and would have landed squarely on Susan if Bill hadn't snatched her back in the nick of time. He wasn't quite quick enough to avoid all of them and the rough top of one of the bags hit the side of her hard hat before it scraped down Susan's arm and leg. Her arm and leg may have only been scraped but Bill saw red. He saw where her hard hat hit her cheek and wanted to kill someone because he knew that it wasn't an accident.

Bill carried Susan into the 5th wheel. "Get the first aid kit," he ordered Tim.

Susan was crying and Bill was frantic that she might have been hurt more than the scrapes he could see.

"Honey, are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital?" Bill asked franticly.

"I ... I ... I'm OK," Susan sniffed. "I w ... was j ... just scared. W ... When I saw that pallet sliding I ... I thought it would land on me." She threw her arms around Bill and hugged him crying harder. "I ... I'm sorry. I'm such a klutz. I'm sorry. I ... I won't come out here anymore."

"Shush," Bill said gently as he held her and rocked her. "That's OK. It wasn't your fault. Shush now."

Tim sat down beside them and opened the first aid kit. He looked at the scrape on her arm and took out some alcohol pads. "This might hurt a little," he said as gently as Bill.

Bill nodded for him to go ahead and Tim started wiping her arm to clean the scrape.

Susan tensed but continued clinging to Bill and crying. Bill continued holding her and rocking her and telling her that everything would be all right. The scrape wasn't bad and after a few minutes Susan got control of herself. She was still sitting on Bill's lap and sniffling when she sadly asked, "What do you mean it wasn't my fault? Of course it was my fault. I'm the Klutz. I can't keep coming out here. Someone will get hurt bad or even killed. I can't mess up your project like that."

"It wasn't your fault because that wasn't an accident," Bill said patiently still rocking her. "There is no way your weight on a board could have moved that pallet of cement if it wasn't set up that way. Anyone could have stepped on that board. You are right about one thing though. Someone could be hurt bad if this doesn't stop now."

Bill gently set Susan on a chair and they all three swiveled around to look at the screen that showed the security cameras views. Tim cycled through them until he found the one showing the materials offloading area. He hit the reverse button and the three of them watched the action on the screen. The bags of cement leaped back to the top of the pallet scraping Susan as they did. The pallet righted itself and Susan and Tim started walking backwards.

Tim whistled and said, "It's a good thing you're fast Bill. That could have been very bad."

Bill wanted to leave to find Brian after seeing the replay. Tim talked him out of it.

"Bill, you know if you see Brian now that you will do something that will get you in a lot of trouble. You know how to do this right," Tim said urgently to his friend.

"Look," Susan said pointing to the screen. It had continued running in reverse while Bill and Tim were talking. She stopped it, fast rewound, and then started playing the tape in the forward direction.

Two men stealthily entered the camera view on the screen a little after 12:30. They watched as the men carefully approached the area where Susan had stepped on the board. One used a long metal bar to leverage one edge of the pallet into position. They used four boards to get the pallet just right and left within 20 minutes. They couldn't recognize the men because they had ski masks on but one of the men's body shape looked like the same guy that moved the survey stakes.

"OK. That's attempted murder," Bill growled when the men were out of sight.

 
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