Klutz
Chapter 11

Copyright© 2011 by MisguidedChild

Saturday morning was a mess. Bill had lived alone most of his adult life. Other than growing up with his Mom and sister, he had never lived with a woman. Of course there had been the occasional overnight stay by a member of the opposite sex. On those occasions the morning rituals consisted more of games than actual ritual and privacy was not a concern. That was not the case on Saturday morning.

Bill woke at 7:00 AM to an argument between Beth and Mandy about which color comb and brush combination each had purchased the night before. The argument was in whispers due to an urgent 90 decibel hiss from Susan; and could probably still be heard in the next county. The yell from Susan when she ran out of hot water probably woke the whole town. Bill smiled to himself and decided to let them know the 5th Wheel only had a 10 gallon hot water tank. He was greeted with squealing, partially clothed teens when he walked into the kitchen/ living area for a cup of coffee He was almost trampled when they tried to rush past him to get to their room. The bobbing, bouncing bits of exposed flesh were pleasant enough but the squeals could have cut glass. The only reason he had been given time in the bathroom to pee was that he threatened to pee in the kitchen sink if they didn't let him in. All three of them filed out of the little bathroom with choruses of 'Eck' and 'ewwww'. Once he got in the bathroom he realized just how small it was and the image of all three females filing out mystified him. He remembered a scene from his childhood of a circus and dozens of clowns getting out of a little VW bug. He had to smile.

Bill had convinced the owner of the trailer and the park, a Mr. Brambles, to not evict Susan from the park on the spot by promising to haul the burned out trailer and debris to the dump. Mr. Brambles had owners insurance that more than covered the cost of the 35 foot single wide. Bill explained how fortunate Mr. Brambles was to get rid of the fire trap without someone being killed and all the avoided legal ramifications. Now he would be able to replace the fire trap with something newer and safer without the cost of having the fire trap being hauled off. He also pointed out to the irate park owner that he would be bringing at least a few people up from the valley for his project and would need someplace for them to live. Bill would be happy to guarantee occupancy for the summer if Mr. Brambles would expedite replacing the fire trap. Bill continued repeating the word 'fire trap' as often as possible during the conversation. Mr. Brambles was very concerned with the Pierce family's wellbeing by the end of the conversation and urged Susan to contact him if there was anything he could do to help.

Tim arrived with a dump truck to start hauling burned debris about 9:30. Bill still had not showered, shaved or brushed his teeth when Tim arrived. After careful consideration, he decided it wasn't worth the battle and went over to start loading.

Jimmy, Mandy's boy friend, showed up a short time later which drew Mandy into the confusion followed closely by Susan to keep an eye on them and to help. Bill continually rescued Susan while she stumbled, and bumbled around the cleanup site as she 'helped'. Mandy and Jimmy decided the safest place to help was at the other end of the trailer from Susan's efforts after the third time she narrowly missed Jimmy's head with a burned scrap of metal. Bill and Tim both seemed to be immune to Susan's efforts to destroy everyone around her. Bill would lean to the side to allow a burned pole Susan was swinging to miss him by inches, all while carrying on a conversation. Bill caught Susan once when she had stumbled and was going headfirst into the burned out refrigerator. He was telling their little crew a joke at the time and he didn't miss a beat. Tim was the same way. He would lean to the side or bend down at just the right time to avoid Susan's flailings, all seemingly without noticing the near misses.

Ruth arrived just before 10:00 with a dozen donuts which drew Beth to the loading party. Ruth watched in pure amazement as the two men seemed to move around and through Susan's zone of destruction as if it were a choreographed dance routine. By 11:00 they were all covered with soot and dirt but they were making a lot of progress. It took two loads to get it all to the dump. The only thing left was the trailer frame and that would need to be hauled away on a flat bed. Bill called a local towing company and they sent a flat bed to haul the frame away. No one had been hurt and nothing else had been damaged the entire day. Ruth declared it was a miracle. She said it was the first time her friend had gone through an entire day of physical labor without damaging something or someone since grade school.

There was something that became more and more apparent as they worked through the day. Tim and Ruth seemed to have a thing for each other. Bill had briefly introduced them the night before; right after the fire fighters had left and had only noticed a polite courtesy between the two. Bill noticed that any time two people were needed to carry something and one grabbed it, the other would too. The two sat together when the little party stopped to eat the subs that Bill ordered for lunch. When Tim drove the truck to the dump it was Ruth that went with him to show him the way. Bill noticed that she was sitting in the middle of the truck's bench seat when they got back. Bill had to smile. It would be pretty cool if his friend met someone that he could settle down with.

Bill had met Tim Rogers in the Marines. They had been assigned to the Camp Pendleton Military Police detachment for the three years prior to their discharge seven years before. Bill was finishing an eight year tour and Tim six. Bill was discharged as a Captain and Tim as a Sergeant on the same day. Despite their rank difference the two Marines had first learned to respect the others professionalism then to truly like each other as a person. Upon discharge they had said goodbye with the usual encouragement to look each other up if they ever found themselves in the vicinity of the others home area. Bill was going back to Phoenix Arizona and Tim was going back to his home town of Wausau Wisconsin. Neither really expected to see the other again because that was the nature of most military friendships. Tim called Bill from the central Phoenix Greyhound station about six weeks later. The love of Tim's life hadn't been as true during Tim's absence as Tim had been in his travels with the Marines. He told Bill that he could have forgiven that but she continued sampling the male population after his return; very often.

Bill had known of girls his friend had dated after his discharge but the relationships usually didn't last long. Bill had asked Tim why they didn't stick around one time. The two had been watching a ball game and had just started their second six pack of beer. Their slightly inebriated state did add some ribald overtones to the conversation but it was serious none the less. Tim was very heterosexual and his Presbyterian upbringing in central Wisconsin had instilled a code of conduct that he had no desire to cast aside. He enjoyed messing around with his dates. He wasn't a monk or anything like that but a permanent relationship required more than good sex. The quantity of beer may have contributed to Tim's inability to explain all the qualities required in a woman for a long term relationship. Tim was sure they included traits such as loyalty, honesty, humor, and the ability to commit. The conversation devolved about that point due to finishing the third six pack of beer and starting the fourth. Bill remembered the conversation after the alcohol fog cleared and his head quit hurting. The memory increased Bill's respect for his friend and caused him to reexamine his own motivations and wild ways where women were concerned.

Bill gained a BBQ grill from the fire. Susan assured him that she had no desire to ever touch the damn thing again. She blamed the grill for burning down her house. So, on the last trip to the dump, Tim and Ruth stopped at the local market to get steaks for everyone and a case of beer for the adults. They still had Ruth's potato salad from the night before.

Dinner was a laughing affair. Jokes were poked at Susan for burning down the house the night before and congratulating her for not repeating the feat. They laughed at Mandy because she was the one in the shower when the hot water ran out this time.

"Well," Susan said pointedly as she glared at Jimmy. "A cold shower might calm both of you down."

She was still angry at the two teens after catching Jimmy 'helping' Mandy by handing cloths to her in the bathroom while she was taking a shower. He was handing them in one article at a time. First he would hand in a pair of frilly panties, then a bra, then one sock, then another sock. Susan had entered the hallway and saw that the bathroom door was wide open and Jimmy had just entered with another sock.

Everyone laughed but Jimmy looked decidedly nervous.

Mandy, coming to the defense of her boy friend, said sweetly, "Maybe you should take one too mom."

"And what do you mean by that young lady," Susan shot back.

 
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