Chapter 14: (October 12 through November 1st)

“What are you doing up so early, I thought you would sleep in?” Joe asked Dana as she came into the kitchen looking for coffee.

“My body clock knows its Monday, and 8:00 a.m. is sleeping in. I thought I would say goodbye to my Mother before she left.” Dana said pouring her coffee.

“Since the markets are closed today, at the end of the Sunday Night Letter meeting, they all agreed that she should spend the day back here. She fought it, but only for a minute.” Joe said with a little chuckle.

“Grandma was going to take me shopping today, I need a couple warmer outfits for school, maybe we, all 3, can go?”

“She’s up, just taking a shower, she’ll be out soon.”

“Good, if she can go it will be a good buffer between Grandma’s Amish clothes she wants me to wear.” Dana said with a little grin.

“I’ll bet she’ll be wearing tight BUTT jeans, so you’ll have to comment on them and maybe that will calm her down.” Joe cracked.

“I can only hope I have her figure at her age.” Dana said as Selena came into the room.

“MY AGE? I’m not exactly Methuselah!” She snipped.

“No Mother, I was talking about Grandma!” Dana said laughing.

Joe turned and explained the context of she heard. “She supposed to go shopping with her today and it’s always a fight to get stylish clothes Betty approves of for her age. I told her that your Mom always wears tight jeans and she should call her out on them.”

“Not to worry, I’ll be going along today so there will be no fight. I don’t want you dressing too sexy for school, but I don’t want you in gingham dresses or Mom jeans either.” Selena said as she poured her coffee and looked to Dana.

“Sit down and have coffee with me and tell me how school is going, what you’re learning, how you’re getting along, what pressures you have.”

“We’re getting some tastes of Calculus, well College Calc, and that’s pretty interesting, but I hate we all get called on so much, but with so few in the class, what do you do? In English I’m just cruising because all the books they want us to read, I already have. All those books on my shelves were my Moms and she had me reading them since I was 8 or 9. We’re covering a lot more American History that we did up North, and New York History is incredible. We took a field trip to the New York Museum of History and Art and I want to go back and take my time. Umm, socially it’s been great. At first, we were all freaks trying to fit in, well, I wasn’t but I kept forcing the geeks to join in, plus pressure their parents for appropriate clothing so they wouldn’t get singled out, bullied. They were bringing so much of that upon themselves, and I’ve gotten through to all of them. We just had the one Mother who called you guys.”

“Called US? First I heard of that!” Selena said, glaring at Joe.

“You had a bad week and it was nothing, so I didn’t mention it. I got a call asking that my daughter not try to make her child grow up too fast. She didn’t want her in the fast lane of girls. I calmed her down explaining that if she was a senior and dressed like an 8th grader she was going to be picked on and bullied. She said that bullying was nothing new to her child. I asked her if she were proud of her daughter for that, why didn’t she let her child look like a bit more of a grown-up and fit in with the people she was going to interact with every day, just like she would when she graduated. She was silent for a time and then said she would talk to her daughter. Dana says she began to dress more appropriately and began to fit it.” Joe explained as Dana extended a finger to make another point.

“Now, there is no geek table at lunch and we ALL have friends with regular seniors, and still the senior boys know they can’t date any of us, and we can’t attend co-ed school functions, except sports team games. What we accomplished was social acceptance. Let’s face it, some kids are mean and when someone looks different, they react. Learning to fit in is great for everyone. I was convinced that I wasn’t going to be freak here, and I didn’t want anyone else to have to feel that way as well.” Dana said proudly.

“You took it upon yourself to be sure no one got categorized?” Selena asked.

“Hey, I have to sit in most classes with so few other students that we all become close. I’m going to walk out of the classroom, go to lunch and watch them get segregated to a geek table? The ones who wanted to poke fun are the same ones who wanted me to be in their groups, their clubs, their sports teams. I didn’t cross the enemy line until we all wore the same uniform. They all had someone trying to hold them back. I guess some parents thought it was cute having a red head freckle face grown up Raggedy Ann doll amongst all the seniors. We aren’t a freak show, we’re only smart. Until now we were all in classes WITH these older kids as some sort of novelty or mascot, we had a chance to fit in, now we were segregated into a separate classroom for most of the day, like special class. I wasn’t going to be a part of that. The regular seniors thought I was cool, but they didn’t get me without the others.” Dana explained as Selena’s mouth dropped.

“My God, we brought a politician into the world!” She chuckled.

“Mother! I was lucky to get special treatment because I LOOK older and fit in with people who think I’m on their social level. I worked as the envoy for “my people”. No one should be scarred for life. I can’t help but think the character Sheldon Cooper on Big Bang Theory is modeled after one our kind. There’s an example of a freak left in the mainstream of older students who was sheltered and coddled at home according to his physical age and was then put in classes with students 5-6-7 years older and expected to adapt when they had nothing socially in common.”

Selena smiled at Dana and sipped her coffee in thought.

“Dana, you truly are an amazing young lady, I am so proud of you. Your Mom and Dad made sure you were always in the right place mentally and socially. My parents protected me but made sure I wasn’t a freak in any years I was moved forward. Like you, my body developed in ways that denied my real age. When I was 9 and 10 I was put with 12-13-14 year olds and many of the girls were developing, but only a few were ahead of me. I was uncomfortable in lockers rooms at first, but eventually it became second nature and since I asked no questions they didn’t make a big deal about it.”

“I’ve discussed with you my only, uh ... problem there, and we’ve taken care of that.” Dana said blushing thinking of her Brazilian Wax her mother brought her for.

Joe got up to refill his coffee to ease Dana’s embarrassment and not ask what she meant, he didn’t have to, Selena had confided with him.

Joe turned and smiled at Dana and pointed a finger as he sat back down. “You, young lady, have told us that you didn’t want to be singled out, you just want to go with the flow, but I have to tell you something. Bullying is such a hot topic across the whole country; you may be singled out for fighting to stop bullying. You may think its anti-geeking you’re fighting, but everyone is going to see it as anti-bullying. Don’t be surprised if you don’t end up in some sort of spotlight from this.”

“Oh GOD! I hope I’ve been under the radar on this. Once we get to Poly I feel I’ll fit in more, at least physically, I can almost pass as a Freshman, plus I won’t have to look after the others. I’m sure we’ll be spread out in different majors.”

Joe suddenly got a worried look on his face. “Don’t try to fit in TOO much.”

“Don’t worry, my nervous Father. I’ll watch the situations I get myself into, AND I’ll have a student chaperone or a matron most times.” She assured him.

“I KNOW all of that, but don’t forget I was a young college student once and I would have had my eyes on you.”

“Eyes are one thing; hands will be a different story. I can take care of myself.” She insisted.

“Well, for then and now, minimize situations.” Selena said as she got up to get dressed.

“Well, what time did your Grandmother say she was taking you shopping?”

“Ten o’clock, I better get going myself.” Dana said.

Joe followed Selena into the bedroom. “Well I thought if the 2 of them went shopping we might stay home alone.”

“Ohhhhh, feeling unloved or deprived? I thought we had a nice night last night.” Selena said with her sexy grin.

“True, but you’ll leave in the morning and not be home until Friday.”

“You poor baby; I’ll give you something to hold you over tonight.” She chuckled to him.

“Not the same as having the whole house to ourselves.” He faux pouted.

“You CAN’T be serious! We’ve made love at least 10 times since I got home Friday night.” Selena said as Joe was leaving with a chuckle to go back to the kitchen.

Dana was right there in the hall heading to the laundry room and Joe was sure she heard the “at least 10 times” comment.

She grinned at him saying, “I’d tell you to get a room, but you already have one. From what I understand, you’re a lucky guy.” She giggled.

“Until you understand, those comments, the one you over heard and the one you made are inappropriate. But I do understand the awkwardness when I KNOW you heard it all. Joe said, actually more upset that she heard it than she made a comment.

“I’m sorry Father. I just didn’t see how I could escape the fact I heard it and you knew I heard it. You know I’m quite proud that my Father and Mother are still so much in love.” She assured him.

“The fact we love each other so much is why you exist and why you’re here.” Joe assured her, adding “Just know we loved you from the second we knew you existed, and as much as we are enjoying watching you grow and mature, we ache for all the tragedy you’ve had to endure.”

Dana’s lower lip trembled, and she said “I know. My Dad told me the greatest pain is watching your own children suffer and not being able to do anything about it.” before walking along to the laundry.

Joe knew that the two of them had just had a full dose of reality. They loved each other but wished she never had to come into their life this way.

His pause to ponder the moment gave Dana time to retrieve the piece of laundry she sought and come back, heading to her room, stopping to hug Joe.

“I love you both more than you know and in the face of unthinkable circumstances I’ve ended up, somehow, happy. Know that you both are loved greatly, and I thank God daily for bringing us all together. When there were great storms and the clouds cleared out, you two were the sun and the rainbow.”

She walked away in tears as Joe wiped his own. He reopened the bedroom door and called out to Selena, “I just heard your Mother’s car pull in the driveway, don’t make her wait.”

As Selena headed out Joe stopped her and whispered about the exchange he had with Dana that began with Selena’s faux pas. As Selena heard the words Dana had said she welled up as well. Joe ended the exchange with a kiss as he whispered, “Lets her get whatever she wants. Heh-heh.”

“I usually do, as if she’s not spoiled enough.” Selena said wiping her tears away as Dana called out, “Mother, Grandma is here. Meet you downstairs.”

It was the first time Selena felt like she was a Mother in a real family.

In the ensuing days with Selena back in New York she began to feel the yearning to be home Upstate with her daughter more often. She kept imagining what retirement would be like, seeing more of Dana and interacting with her, catching up on the Mothering she missed out on. For a few days, it occupied her mind to the point where she felt herself day dreaming and eventually sought out her recovery nurse, Philly Flowers, to talk about a few things. Philly centered her with just a few words and potential scenarios to make her think things through in her usual methodical way. One thing that always kept her going was “future goals, and Philly asked her when Dana’s Holiday vacation was starting.

“She has exams on the 11th, 12th and 13th of December and as long as she passes her courses to the satisfaction of PolyTech, she will begin as a mid-term freshman on January 25th.” Selena said checking her calendar.

“Well there! You and Joe and Dana can spend the better part of a month in New York where every day will be a growing adventure for ALL of you. You can plan your Christmas together, plan your travel back upstate, and be together. It will be your first step together before she has to get back to classes.” Philly surmised.

“You’re right! Joe and I talked about bringing her down here to learn about the city and see how we live here. That’ll be fun!”

Philly smiled and gave Selena a look she was quite familiar with after all the sessions they had together

“See? You only need to add the perspective and that horizon will rise a bit more every day until the two of you will be shopping and planning for the Holidays. I’m not sure when you plan to fulfill your commitment in 2016, but THAT will be the next horizon to can plan for.” Philly said with a reassuring smile.

“I think by the time she starts her Freshman classes in September I’ll be out. I hoping to begin to curtail days as she gets toward exams in early June and be down here for a bit of the summer and when she starts classes full time, I’ll be a stay at home Mom!” She said with a glow.

“Were you as mature physically as Dana at her age?” Philly wondered.

“Not at 13, but between 14 and 15 I realized I was attracting looks. Just after my 16th birthday I knew I felt like a woman and I wanted to experiment and got into a little trouble, through my own naiveté. But I smartened up quickly.”

“How do you think you’ll handle Dana?”

“Luckily, her Mom saw early on when she was only 11 that she was going to mature early, and really believed it was being with pubescent girls as they were maturing. Dana got her period when she was 11. But Dana knew the score as far as birds and bees then and promised her Mom she would not date until she was 16. She had vocalized that promise more than once to us.”

“You don’t think it’s just lip service, do you?” Philly asked.

“No, that’s North Country values. I think you’re comparing her to teenage girls here and in Jersey. She’s very values driven. We’ve talked frankly about masturbation, we heard her through the walls and confronted her, assuring her that it’s OK and a great stress reliever. We realize that she is physically mature, and under a certain amount of stress to perform, and we always factor in the values her parents gave her. So, if that works to iron a few wrinkles, what’s the problem. It was funny, that after her tearful embarrassment at being caught, and we assured her it was only natural, she told us that she heard US through the walls as well, and always heard her Mom and Dad the same way. She said it was reassuring knowing there was love in her previous home and ours.”

“So, you two are still on a honeymoon?” Philly asked raising an eyebrow.

Selena flushed a bit and then in a low voice, even though no one else was around, saying “We make love in one way or another 10 to 15 times a week and always have. We never tire of being intimate and making each other happy. We don’t try to put on a show for her, nor do we eavesdrop on her. You see, between our bedrooms is a long closet with a rotating clothes rack, like a dry cleaner has. Before September 11th it was always full of mine and Joe’s things. When we got back most everything was either out of style or had hung on hangers so long they had like hanger impressions and we donated everything. Now it’s empty and sounds between the rooms are somewhat amplified. Once we move from New York a lot of our things will go back in there, plus Joe may hang our seasonal coats, just to take up space.”

“I just wonder if you should be so open about sex with a girl 13.” Philly said raising an eyebrow.