Chapter 25

Selena and Joe were sleeping soundly after a full day of moving and unpacking, going to dinner and then laughing all through The Book of Mormon at The Eugene O’Neill Theatre, and then coming home to make love for the first time in their new condo on their new sheets and bed. What Joe wasn’t aware of was that Selena had set the alarm for 5:30am, even though they hadn’t gotten to sleep until 12:30.

“Ohh Essy, you forgot to turn off the alarm!” Joe howled as the big voice on the clock radio bellowed the news.

Selena quickly bounced up and moved over Joe propping herself up over his face.

“The alarm was set on purpose. I’m going in the shower to quickly wash and do my hair. You’re going to turn on the coffee maker, it’s all set, and gather our packed bags. Then take a quick shower if you like, but then we’re leaving here by 6 or a bit after so we can go to church with my Mom and Dad at 10:00.” She said through tired, but determined eyes.

“Did I get a vote on this?” He asked.

“Your vote was placed in abstentia. You had fallen asleep after absolutely tuning my body to perfection and spraying me with your cum. I talked about it from the bidet while I drained my own sex juice out of me and got cleaned up. When I got back to bed I realized you hadn’t heard a word, so I voted for you.” She said smiling.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute, but at 5:30, some of that cuteness is hard to see.” He said in resignation.

With bags already repacked and her plan carried out as she had planned, they pulled out of the parking garage at 6:03 and were headed home.

“If we run into any delays, we’ll go to church in these clothes, otherwise, if we get a moment to get home, church clothes are laid out on the bed. My Mom helped out a bit in the plan. My Dad doesn’t know.” She told him as they zoomed through the early New York streets leading to the Major Deegan Highway and home.

“Diabolical, simply diabolical. Hand me the coffee, I’m ready for the second cup already, even though I’m sure you won’t let me stop to pee when it comes around in a hour or so, we wouldn’t want to miss church.” He said sarcastically.

“When you finish that coffee, the cup will be empty and you can pee in it.” She said looking away to hide her grin.

“You’re probably serious.” He said smiling to her.

“Depends how late we end up.” She answered coldly, although he knew she wasn’t serious.

Traffic was light and by the time the hit the Deegan Expressway and zoomed past Yankee Stadium they were ahead of schedule. The biggest potential hold-ups, traffic wise, were behind them. Although she hated to sleep while he drove, she couldn’t help dozing from time to time, hoping that he didn’t have the same urge. She jostled awake as the little roadster pulled into a rest area just north of Newburgh. While she was getting her bearings Joe leaned over and kissed her forehead.

“I’m stopping to pee, and I’m not going to leave you in the car. Come on, it’s not too cold to shock you.” He said knowing she had unbuttoned her coat and slipped off her shoes during the drive.

He came around to her door and helped her and they ran hand in hand in the morning chill into the building and made a bee line for the rest rooms. More coffee was tempting but they didn’t really want to make another stop and they were on their way.

Selena dozed in and out, although she insisted she hadn’t each time she woke and looked to Joe (I wasn’t sleeping, I just had my eyes closed!), and when they started to climb the hill past her parents street and only moments from “home” she was shocked she had been out during the exit from the Thruway, going through the toll booth, and stopping at traffic signals getting into town.

“OK, I WAS sleeping then. Holy crap, I was out cold. What time is it?” She wondered through her fog.

“It’s 20 after 9 and we have plenty of time.” He said as he pulled through the overhang of trees and shrubs and pulled up the driveway, hitting the garage door opener as he did. “Wow, your Dad has the lawn looking awesome. He must have handpicked the leaves up, I don’t even see one. He needs to get a hobby.” Joe aid as he admired the perfect landscape.

“He HAS a hobby, taking care of our place. He’s been so happy to come up knowing we’re alive and well, it’s his joy. He took care of it before, but it was always depressing. Just be sure you tell him how good it looks.” Selena said as the car slipped into the garage and they both gathered their things and got out.

Upstairs it looked the same way it did when they left except it had all been newly dusted and cleaned causing Joe to look to Selena and say, “Apparently your mother has a hobby as well.”, causing them to hug and chuckle.

True to her Mom’s word, clothes were laid out for church just as Selena asked, but Betty Hanson has put a tie in the sport coat pocket, not liking the open collar, chain showing look.

“Do you think she would be happy if I wore a Crucifix around my neck to show on my chest? I really don’t need a tie. Weddings and funerals, ugh!” Joe muttered as Selena nodded in agreement.

The venture into church went smooth as far as making points with the Hansons who loved standing together in the pew with their daughter and son in law. But what they hadn’t calculated was the congregation’s reaction to them coming in. The church was three-fourths full when the four of them walked up to one of the front aisles where the Hansons always sat.

Scott and Betty always presented the gifts at the 10:00 Mass since they “lost” their daughter in the 911 attacks. Today as Joe and Selena walked behind Scott and Betty up the aisle there was a murmur all through the people already seated. As they sat down, one person started clapping and soon the whole congregation was clapping and standing. Joe, especially, and Selena could not have been any more embarrassed as Scott nudged Selena to stand and acknowledge the accolades. She pulled Joe, reluctantly, up with her as they turned and waved around to the parishioners, and sat politely down again.

Joe leaned to Selena and whispered, “If they had anything to do with this, I know where the tie should be tied, very tight!”

Selena elbowed him and leaned to whisper that she was sure it wasn’t staged or planned.

During the homily after the Gospel, Father O’Neil made mention of their presence and made wonder of the power of prayer. Joe instantly knew that the walk out of church and to their car would be a long drawn out affair of hand shaking, kissing, and questioning. He rued the moment the alarm went off that morning and wondered how they never thought of this possibility of a “coming out” party.

Scott Hanson was clearly uncomfortable and he leaned across Selena to speak to Joe.

“I can’t believe your mother in law didn’t think this would happen. If I had known we would have met at another church over the river. I’m so sorry.”

Joe tried to look unfettered, but his jaw was steeled. When he looked past Scott to Betty she was crimson with embarrassment and on the verge of tears. This was when he decided that it was not planned and simply a case where Betty hadn’t thought when she asked Selena for them to join. Although he was far from accepting what was happening, he would understand, at least to Betty’s face. He reasoned that as much as he and Selena had been through, Betty and Scott had been suffered as well and Betty was just trying to get things back to normal.

At the point in the mass where you extend to your neighbor the sign of peace, it was customary for each of them to kiss their wives, daughter and Mother-in-law, as well as shake hands with their mates. Scott and Selena usually sat down so Joe could lean over to kiss Betty and wish her “Peace be with you”. Instead Joe pulled her close to air kiss and said “Don’t fret, we’ll get through this. I still love my mother-in-law”, while squeezing her hand.

You could see a veil of shame, personal anger, and embarrassment lift from her as he smiled to her as Selena and Scott stood to resume the mass. As Joe fumed inside, he was happy to lift the blame from Betty and ease her mind. She had tried so hard to be the non-meddling mother-in-law that her “son” could love and respect, and Joe knew it. He wouldn’t let her beat herself up over this.

When it came time for communion as they lined up as each pew emptied there were many who paused to pat Joe on the back or try to shake his hand or kiss or hug Selena. Father O’Neil must have made notice of this because when the mass was over and he usually made a few closing comments about the upcoming week before he left the Sacristy, he paused.

“Where I’m sure we are all so glad to have this fine couple of the Hansons daughter and Mr. Johnson back in our community, they have really been through a lot as far as media attention and well wishers. Let’s let them leave the mass today without fanfare. They’re trying to put their ordeal behind them and get on with their lives. Instead if each of you who want to give them a personal greeting would just offer up a prayer of thanks to The Almighty for their safe return and that will help ease them back into normalcy. We should all respect each other’s privacy.”

Then he looked right to Joe and Selena and said “God Bless you both and may you enjoy long happy lives together.”

The congregation abided Fathers suggestion and their exit from church was smooth and quiet. Father O’Neil customarily stood just outside and shook hands and exchanged well wishes as the worshipers left. When Joe came by him he shook his hand hard and pulled him close to speak quietly in his ear.

“Thanks for the break, I’ll call you in a few weeks about getting us married before God.” He said out of everyone’s earshot. He knew how happy this would make The Hanson’s and Selena. It was something Selena wanted to bring up, but thought might be a touchy subject with Joe. Joe knew where and how his bread was buttered and knew what would score points with them all.

Back at the Hanson house both Scott and Betty were waiting at the door to apologize for the embarrassing situation. Before they could say anything Joe spoke up.

“I know mistakes were made in the thought process of getting us here for mass. I know you hadn’t calculated what might happen and I know that you know how I feel about such things. We can forget it, if you don’t bring it up. We did it to make us feel normal again, we all forgot that people, for the most part, aren’t normal.” Joe said holding Selena’s hand so they knew the words came from both of them.

When Joe walked into the kitchen to get coffee a few moments later, as Selena and Scott set the table, Betty grabbed Joe and hugged him tightly.

“I know you don’t want to speak of it, but it was my fault. I was so stupid, I’m sorry.” She said as she finished the hug and kissed Joe hard on the lips. “Despite what you may have thought over the years, we really, really love you.”

Joe smiled and even felt a little uncomfortable about her hard kiss and then took turned her away from the door to speak to her in private. “Between me and you, and just me and you, I’m going to meet with Father O’Neil about a church wedding for us. I’m telling you this to show you I truly forgive you, but you have to keep it to yourself, OK?”

Betty kissed Joe again and left with a big smile on her face as she prepared breakfast. Joe knew he had scored points, big time, with her.

Soon Betty was dealing poached eggs to the plates and Selena helped bring out a plate of bacon and home fries. Breakfast was quiet until both Betty and Scott had their coffees and then talk turned to the following days shifted Thanksgiving.

“Now, you two don’t have to do a thing for dinner tomorrow, I have everything planned out.” Betty said.

“Mom, Joe’s going to think I can’t do a thing if you don’t let me help out. I was going to make your pies, an apple and a pumpkin. I watch you enough and made them before.” Selena said hoping to be able to help.

Scott looked up to Betty saying, “See? If you let her help you won’t have to get up at 4 in the morning to bake tomorrow.”

Joe piped in right away. “Betty, don’t be crazy. We want you to enjoy this meal, I’d hate to see you fall asleep in the mashed potatoes. We can make the pies.”

“I can make the pies, me, not we.” Selena insisted, wanting to assert herself as a homemaker. “I know my way around the kitchen, even though it doesn’t have computers or calculators.”

“Yes dear, you bake the pies right after you bring me my pipe and slippers.” Joe said sarcastically.

“Joe, you plan every meal and on weekends when I could do that, we end up going out.” She pouted.

‘Essy, I’m retired and home all day. You get home from the office and studio around 6. What am I supposed to do? Hang around and drink and nap all day?”

“No, but I CAN cook! Let me have my fun for this tomorrow.” She insisted.

“OK, I won’t help, but for sure Betty, there’s no reason to get up in the middle of the night to start the Thanksgiving Dinner. We all should enjoy this.” Joe said giving in but making his point.

Betty broke into tears as she said. ‘I’m so happy to have the two of you to cook for I’d stay up all week. Don’t you both realize what a REAL THANKS-giving this is? The twist of fate that brought you two back is truly the answer to a prayer we never thought possible, or even remotely probable.”

Joe looked to Selena who put out her hand for him and then she reached for her Dad’s hand and soon the four of them were joined hand in hand with their heads bowed as the gravity of what Betty said hit home.

After their quiet interlude of prayer they finished their breakfast in relative quiet, save for some small talk. Nothing could compare with Betty’s words for now.

As soon as Selena and Joe left Betty quickly went to the kitchen the clear the breakfast dishes and prep so she could begin to make her big dinner for Monday. As she stood at the sink she thought about how dirty Joe still made her feel. To her, he was naughty sex, going back to the day when she sat with him following the surgery where she was his ride and proxy. His sexuality was overt in her mind and each time she saw him she was reminded of it. She knew she still looked good and felt desirable. Although she would never cheat on her husband, that day she would have thrown herself at Joe. Right now she was ready to be taken; she only hoped that Scott was as horny as she was. She couldn’t wait for him to come into the room, and she heard him shuffling in with coffee cups clinking in each hand from the living room where the 4 of them finished their small talk about the next day’s Monday Thanksgiving celebration.

“I’m a little jealous of my daughter, going away on that sexy vacation, just the two of them alone getting sexed up whenever they want.” Betty said uncharacteristically.

“We don’t have to leave the country to have sex Betty, we can have it right here.” He said rather blandly as he was going back to read the paper.

“Right HERE?” She said slapping her hand down on the edge of the counter, causing Scott to turn back to her.

“Yes,” He said “Right here in the house”, smiling.

“How about right here on the counter, right now? That’s how they’re going to do it. Everywhere, whenever they want. Spontaneous!” She said fully turned facing him with a smile on her face.

“What are you saying Betty?” He asked with a sly smile on his face.

“Like when we were young. Take down my panties and I sit on the edge of the counter. I love you Scott and thinking about my daughter getting it on all week has got me a little envious.”