Chapter 4: Linda

After Paul moved out of the apartment he called me every week asking me to forgive him and to take him back. I still loved him but I knew deep down that I could trust him again.

He received the dissolution papers and at first said he was going to fight it. I told him if he did I would file for a divorce and list a number of his lovers, including Lisa, who I had talked to and who had told me the whole story on their plans to drug and seduce me so he could have sex with her.

The phone went silent. It was all coming out now, how he had used me and let another man have me just so he could get the man's wife. He couldn't cover it up and make excuses any more. He agreed to the dissolution but asked me if I could keep the swapping quiet.

I was the last person who wanted it known; had he no idea what that would do to my reputation as a teacher? It almost made me laugh. I told him that if anyone asked why we were getting divorced I would tell them he had an affair and leave it at that.

Through all these problems I had a rock to lean on: Mike. He was there for me and his daughters became the joy in my life. They asked me if I could spend more time with them. I told them I would try.

On Halloween I helped them dress up in costumes and took them trick-or-treating. Mike stayed at the house and gave out treats to the other kids. I have to admit I really enjoyed it. It's been a long time since I did anything like that. I almost felt like a mom taking care of her daughters.

They asked me if I could spend Thanksgiving with them. They were going to go to their aunt's house and wanted me to come with them. I explained to them that I was going to be with my family that day but I would see them that week.

When I arrived at my sister's house I got a surprise. She had invited Paul to dinner. Apparently the two of them had been talking and he kept telling her how much he still loved me and wanted us to get back together.

My little sister wanted to play Susie Matchmaker. I knew she meant well but she didn't know the whole story. I made the best of the situation but I told her I wasn't sitting next to Paul.

Paul acted like nothing had ever happened. My family had always liked him and my sister told me in private that maybe I was making a mountain out of a molehill and maybe I should give Paul a second chance. Now Paul was using my family against me.

I told my sister that after my divorce in January, maybe I would tell her the whole story. She looked at me, surprised and curious. We went back into the dining room and finished dessert. When I left, Paul was still sitting there with the rest of the male members of my family watching football.

I went home and picked up two homemade pies that I had made and took them over to Mike's house. I had promised the girls I would make them a pie. Marie wanted apple and Molly wanted pumpkin.

When I got there they both ran up to me, hugged and kissed me. I even got a smile and a kiss on the cheek from Mike. We all sat down and had pie and whipped cream. It couldn't have been a happier ending to Thanksgiving.

Mike and I became closer but not intimate. He asked me about dating in general and I told him I wasn't doing anything until after the divorce was final. The girls asked me if I would take them Christmas shopping.

Since I'm a woman who loves to shop it wasn't a hard decision to make. We went a few times and I have to say I enjoyed it. Mike gave us a list of the people they needed gifts for and the girls and I had fun filling out the requests.

One day when we stopped at the mall to see Santa Claus, Molly told me she asked for something special. When I asked her what it was she told me she couldn't tell me because then it might not come true. I had to wonder what she wanted. She was such a sweet doll baby.

They were a bit sad when I told them I wouldn't be there on Christmas Eve. I explained to them that I usually spent Christmas Eve with my parents. I did promise them that I would be by Christmas night to see all their presents, which they decided was a fair trade.

When I arrived at Mom and Dad's on Christmas Eve I couldn't believe that Paul was there. Mom said it was Christmas Eve and he had been there every year since we got married. I gritted my teeth and put up with him.

He tried to get close to me but I told him to just leave me alone. We weren't friends anymore and I sure the hell didn't believe anything he said. He said he had a special Christmas gift for me. I told him I didn't buy him anything and that he couldn't buy back my love. I think it aggravated my parents a little.

"Open it anyway. It's actually for both of us." He handed me an envelope.

I opened it and there were two tickets for a three- day cruise over Valentine's Day. I looked at him and told him we wouldn't even be married Valentine's Day. What was this all about?

"Linda, I still love you. I know I made some big mistakes and I know I can't take them back. January 31 our divorce will be final. I want to start all over again. I bought the tickets for Valentine's Day hoping that we could try again. Not as husband and wife but as boyfriend and girlfriend. I know you still have feelings for me. All I want is another chance to prove that I can be faithful."

It made my eyes water a little. It was true that I still had feelings for him but there was no way I wanted to be with him again. I knew I could never trust him, no matter how many cruises he offered.

My parents kept silent. As I mentioned before they might not like the idea that Paul cheated on me but they had always liked Paul. Thankfully, they kept their opinions to themselves.

Paul went home but came back the next day for dinner. When he came in he wished everyone a Merry Christmas and gave everyone a kiss and hug. I let him hug me but I turned my cheek to him when he went to kiss me. My sister gave me a mean look.

Later my brother asked me if I was planning on going back to Paul and I told him no. I told him I'm going on with my life. He hugged me and wished me the best. I had a deep down feeling that he didn't care for Paul as much as the rest of the family. No one wants their little sister to be cheated on.

I said my goodbyes to everyone and for the sake of the family I gave Paul a hug but not a kiss. My sister stopped me at the door and asked when I was going to tell her why I was really divorcing Paul.

I told her maybe never, it wasn't her business. I also told her not to trust him. She was married with a good husband and two kids. I wouldn't put it past Paul to take advantage of her. I'm pretty sure she got my message.

"I love you, Linda. Merry Christmas," said my sister.

"I love you too, sis. Take care and remember what I said. I will tell you everything after the divorce."

After leaving I thought about how Paul was staying on my family's good side. I have to admit I wondered if a tiger could change his stripes but in Paul's case I knew he couldn't.

I stopped by to see Mike and the girls. It was such a good feeling to see them. The girls smiled and wanted to show me all the gifts they received. It was so much fun listening to the girls telling me about everything they received. They didn't know that I picked out a few of the things myself. "That Santa was a pretty smart guy," I said.

While I was looking at the gifts I asked Mike to get a couple of presents out of my car that I had bought for the girls. When we got back to the living room I had Mike hand a present to each girl.

I had found a make-up kit for Marie. Mike looked up at me, with fatherly fear on his face. "Mike, she's going to be a young lady and I'll show her the proper way to put on make-up." Mike smiled and Marie gave me a big hug.

"I love you, Linda," said Marie.

"I love you too, honey." I looked over at Molly and said, "I love you too." She got up and gave me a hug.

I had bought her a set of children's books. She was just learning to read and I told her I would be there for her and help her read them.

I handed a small gift to Mike. "You bought me something?"

"Just a small gift from one friend to another. The girls helped me pick it out."

"Open it, Daddy," said Molly.

"It's a ruby tie pin," said Marie. "You're always wearing ties for work and maybe you won't keep having it get in your coffee. The pin will hold your tie back."

"Thank you Linda, it was really nice of you." Mike smiled and squeezed my hand.

"Aren't you going to give her a hug, Daddy?" asked Molly.

Mike stood up and so did I. He gave me a big hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I know it's funny, but I felt safe in his arms.

The girls ran into their room and came back with a couple of presents for me. As they handed them to me Molly said, "We made them for you."

It was the girls' school pictures for this year and they had made a frame for them, drawing pictures along the frame edges.

"Thank you girls, I love them. When I get home I'm going to hang them on my wall to remind me of you." I think I had tears in my eyes as I hugged and kissed each girl.

Mike looked at me. "I picked you up something but I have no idea what you like. The girls are sure you will like it."

I opened it and it was a beautiful red silk blouse. It also had a matching black vest to go with it.

"I have the receipt if you want to return it," said Mike.

"No, it's beautiful and it's the right size. Thank you all so much." This time when I hugged Mike I gave him a light kiss on the lips.

The girls said they had brought some pie home from their aunts and wanted to know if I wanted some. We all sat around the table and Marie got out the whipped cream.

As I was leaving Mike asked me out for New Year's Eve. He said his sister would take the girls for the night.

"Mike, I told you that I wasn't going to start dating again until after my divorce. I don't want to give Paul any reason to delay the divorce. To be honest with you I would have loved to go."

"How about coming over here and bringing in the New Year with me and the girls? We'll watch TV and have a good old time. Pizza, pop, popcorn, you name it and we'll have it."

I thought for a few seconds as the girls looked at me. "Ok, that I can do. I'll see you on New Year's Eve."

That's what we did. We had some party favors, hats and horns. We stayed in and played board games, watched TV, had pizza and popcorn. The girls drank pop and Mike got a bottle of wine for us. At midnight we all blew our horns and yelled "Happy New Year." I kissed the girls and then Mike took me in his arms and kissed me. A real kiss.

When it was time for the girls to go to bed, I helped get them settled in and sat on the couch with Mike and had one more glass of wine. My cell phone rang and it was Paul. With all the noise in the background I knew he was at a party.

"Happy New Year, Honey," he said. "Don't forget our cruise date. We'll make love all day and night just the way you like it." I could tell he was drunk so it wouldn't do much good to argue with him on the phone.