Chapter 176: Wig Wigs and More Wigs

"Wake up Bernard, I'm headed out for breakfast and my morning rehab walk. Do you want to come along?" I asked.

"What time is it?" he moaned.

"7AM, I'm running late," I said.

"Get the hell out of here and come back at a reasonable hour," he demanded.

"Okay, you can use the land line to call your people, if you like. I'll bring you some food and make some coffee when I get back." Since he wasn't coming along, I got the bike out for another ride.

The parking lot at Helen's Sit Down was full, so I parked the bike on the sidewalk. I had to share a table with a couple of fire fighters, since there were no cops around. Paramedics and nurses had two full tables, which also forced me to gravitate to the fire fighters.

I didn't know any of them, but one of them recognized me from the promos. I would be happy when Bernard taught me how to hide in plain sight. I had the crispy corn beef hash, cheese, and egg sandwich on a bun at least twice the size of a hamburger roll. The potato fritters were excellent as usual. From the beginning Helen had made the best coffee in town. She had three or four kinds of Gourmet shit, but her house brand was the best in my opinion. I called it truck stop coffee, because it was black and seemed thick.

After breakfast I rode the bike to the Mall, where I did four laps. Every few days I added a little more distance to the morning walk. After the walk, I rode around town just a few miles, then went back to Helen's. I ordered the same breakfast again, but without coffee and I got it to go. I figured I would buy Bernard a decent breakfast, once anyway.

When the bike was stored properly, I went inside the house to find Bernard sitting up on the sofa but in a total daze. "Hey Dude, I am going to make coffee and I even brought you breakfast from the best place in town. So get your ass moving and eat." I said it putting the sandwich onto the tool bench that served as my dining table.

It was late enough and Bernard was awake, so I didn't care how much noise I made working on the coffee. I had a somewhat intimate relationship with the Mr Coffee, so I did my little dance for it. Mixing two kind of coffee grinds into a thin paper towel, which I trimmed with a pair of kitchen scissors so that it wouldn't wick coffee onto the counter top.

"Wow, that is a great sandwich. If I opened that thing up and put it on a plate. It would be a full breakfast. My God that is the best corned beef hash I have ever eaten. With cheese and the spicy egg, that thing is to die for."

"I taught Helen how to make decent regular coffee, so if you want to get your gay ass out of bed tomorrow, you can go to breakfast with me. You don't have to do the mall walk, if you don't want to."

"Trust me I need it, so I might try it once," he said.

It was nice to have someone to sit and talk with while I drank coffee. Bernard was funny as hell and he didn't take himself too seriously. Most people who are different tend to be defensive, not so Bernard. "If you like me, wonderful," he said. "If not, fuck you." then he laughed. "I am just not going to waste my time trying to change your opinion."

"Very cool, now where do you want me to drop you and your luggage?" I asked.

"Your sofa is comfortable and I won't be here long. Why don't I just stay here with you." he asked.

"Sweetie, I have lots of things going on. I can't entertain you." I replied.

"You don't have to entertain me. That's what Earl and Willy are here for." He turned his attention to the camera in the corner of the ceiling. "Did you hear that guys," He said.

They came down shortly after and took care of Bernard most of the day. I spent the day working on the new information from Lucas. I made a few calls myself to get ready for the gag. It was well after lunch when Bernard returned.

So are you ready for today's lesson?" He asked.

"Oh yes, I need to learn how to build the disguises and then go shopping." I informed him.

"Okay then lets get lesson one over with," he suggested. From his man purse he removed a Cd. "Put this in your drive and watch the first question, then we will discuss it." he said.

I slipped it in and waited for the video to start. The camera operator walked into a room. Then obviously he walked toward a woman a step or two, suddenly the video went black. Within seconds the questions began. I answered ten. Six of which I actually remember the other four I guessed at the answers.

-Chapter 1. Hair color was reddish brown, I said aloud.

"Actually it was red but not flame red," Bernard said. "That is the most correctly answered question, so If you want to look different? The number one thing to buy is a wig. In your case it will be easy. You have short thin hair so the wig will work beautifully."

"I have no problem getting my hair cut shorter," I said in agreement.

"Good that will make the wig work even better. From a butch cut to shoulder length hair will alter you significantly." he informed me.

-Chapter 2. "Eye color was brown I said and it was a pure guess." I informed him.

"Actually they were a greenish color. Don't feel bad, that is the most missed question on the list. So there is no sense changing your eye color unless you go bold with electric blue contacts.

"Not likely to happen." I replied.

"I didn't think so," he admitted.

-Chapter 3. I described her blouse as "A red checked thing"

"Yes that is also a question most people get right. So clothes will help to disguise you. But they need to be clothes different from what you normally wear and with some noticeable feature like a logo or pattern.