Chapter 1

Poor little Becky didn't know what she was getting into. It was Chemistry, and they had announced lab partners at the beginning of the week. I had seen her walk in, and prayed from that moment that she'd stay far, far away from me. It was my first week in the school, hell, in the STATE, and Mom and I didn't need any more trouble. But there she was, sitting right across from me, her eyes glazed over, her breathing raspy, and doing her damnedest to get me to answer one of her inane questions in anything but a monosyllabic grunt. It wasn't that she didn't deserve a second or third look ... if not more ... It's just that things like this tend to get ... complicated for me. I'd made promises to Mom, and to myself, and at this moment in time, all I wanted was to get the fuck out of the room.

Becky laid her hand on my arm, and I flinched away like I'd been snakebit. The grief on her face was immediate, and a little ridiculous. I controlled myself and gave her a tentative smile, and watched the grief melt into something a lot more ... intense. I closed my eyes and fought hard to control my racing thoughts, but in the end realized I was out of my league. I stood up, Becky's eyes watching me like a hawk, and grabbed my backpack. Without a word to anyone, I headed for the door. The teacher protested, calling my name after me, but I kept walking. I headed for the main door to the school, hung a right at the road, and headed home.

Mom wasn't too surprised to see me, though her face fell in resignation when our eyes met.

"Did it happen again, sweetie?"

"Yeah. I had to get out of there in a hurry ... they're probably gonna call you or something..."

My mom slumped into one of the dining room chairs and put her face in her hands.

"What are we going to do?"

"Hell if I know, mom!", I snapped. Her gaze snapped up to my face and I mumbled an apology.

"David ... we can't afford to move again. We used all our money to just get here, and I haven't even found a job yet."

"I know that, Mom. I really do. But I don't know what to do about it. I swear, I can't help it. This girl didn't even do anything! The teacher assigned us to be lab partners, and then there we were, about two feet apart for half an hour. I tried everything I could possibly imagine, but it didn't make a lick of difference. If I hadn't hauled ass out of there..."

"I know, sweetie. I know ... I just wish I had an answer for you. There has to be something you can do..."

"Yeah ... I keep telling myself that, too, Mom. So far no luck. Do you think when the school calls you could give them some kinda excuse that would let me stay out for a couple of days?"

"Of course, David ... no problem at all."

"Mind if I come in there to grab a drink?"

Her eyes got wide and she stood up in a hurry, almost knocking over the chair. She composed herself and moved to the far end of the dining room as I came through. She shuffled the other way and disappeared up the stairs. Her voice came wafting down as she was halfway up.

"Dinner's at 7!"

I grabbed a soda and headed for my room. I heard a muffled thump from my Mom's room, but didn't dare open the door. I locked myself in and threw the dead bolt closed behind me. With an annoyed grunt, I plopped down onto my papasan chair and grabbed the remote for my little TV. Flipping idly through channels, I started a full-scale pity party. I moped, thinking about my grades, about how I was going to once again mess life up for Mom and me, and just all around feeling sorry for myself. I hadn't gotten too far, though, when there came a knock on my door.

"Yeah?", I called.

"Honey, can I come in?"

I groaned and closed my eyes.

"Mom! You know you can't! Especially not right now ... look, I can meet you downstairs in, like 10 minutes ... is that cool?"

"OK, sweetie. I'll meet you there."

I muttered to myself as I heard her move down the hall and down the staircase. I chugged the rest of the soda, let out an appreciably disgusting belch, and crumpled the can in my hand. I dropped it in the recycle bin next to my bed, and headed downstairs. I made sure to make plenty of noise coming down the stairs, and Mom was seated at the far end of the table when I got to the dining room. I headed for the fridge and grabbed another soda, then leaned back against the door and popped the can open.

"So ... what's up?"

"Honey ... I had a thought ... I mean..."

"Mom ... you know that's not-"

"No, David ... not that...", she interrupted. Her face was bright red, and she forged ahead.

"What was the girl's name?"

"Becky ... Becky Johnson or Jenkins or something. I didn't catch it. Why?"

"Good Lord ... another Becky..."

"Yeah, tell me about it, but she didn't look anything like Becky Parker."

My mom closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"What if you just went with it?"

I swear to God, I almost pulled a spit-take right there in my own kitchen. When I managed to get all the fluids where they were supposed to be, I wheeled and stared at my Mom.

"Just ... went with it?"

"Yeah ... I mean ... what would happen?"

Now I was getting angry, and stood there trying to control my temper as I answered.

"You know what would happen, Mom. There's be doctors, and the sickness, and ... all the other stuff, too. It'd be just like the last, what, four times?"

She nodded, her face white as a sheet, but she was determined.

"David, what if it wasn't just the once? I mean ... couldn't you make it like she was your girlfriend? Then, I mean, at that point ... what would happen?"

My jaw had fallen open, and I worked hard to leverage it closed again.

"Mom ... It wouldn't matter ... because as soon as it stopped, the whole thing would start up. I'm not going to marry my lab partner, and spend the rest of my life with her, just because of my ... condition..."

My mom chuckled, though the sound was more than a little strained.

"Nobody's saying you have to marry her, sweetie. What if you just ... had her?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean just that ... have her. Have her whenever you need to, and we can ... deal with the side effects."