Chapter 4

The first surprise I encountered when I opened her email was the number of emails from apartment complexes sitting near the top. I open the first and read the words "Thank you for inquiring about our two bedroom apartments."

Our first apartment here was two bedrooms, because our youngest son has been living with us for years. Then the middle daughter came here from Florida and we needed three bedrooms. Then she moved out, but the oldest son came here and we still needed three.

Now, she's looking at two bedroom apartments, and not telling me. Something is going on, and I really don't like it.

Still, that's something that goes on the back burner right now. I have to wade through all the other emails she gets on the daily basis before I find what is the most likely candidate to be what I'm seeking.

I open the email and only read a few lines. "I'm so looking forward to tonight. I hope you will be prepared in the manner I have asked."

I don't read any further. Instead, I go back to the main page and use the search feature to find any and all emails from him, so that I can read all of them from the beginning.

The first had come in last week. He looks to set up a meeting sometime in the evening. Her reply said she was sure she could find some excuse to be away from the house, especially on a night I am already working. She wonders if they could meet somewhere they could smoke.

He sends a reply saying a casino would probably be the best place to meet. He wonders about me, and about why she is doing this. He asks if she would meet him sans underwear.

She replies she would be uncomfortable doing that, until they were better acquainted.

But it is the next line of her reply that tears my heart out and leaves it in pieces on the floor.

"I do not know exactly when, but I will end this marriage soon. I would rather live unmarried and unfulfilled then married and feeling the same way."

Suddenly, it all comes together. The apartment hunting kept from me. The push to get all of the things from Rochester, and me being excluded from the trip. And now this.

Betrayed, again. And apparently with the knowledge of the three children whom I have called my own, and who have said they love me.

My hands are shaking now. I take a deep breath, and then try to finish reading.

They send a few more emails back and forth. She is obviously excited to meet this man. She begins to let him tell her what to do, even to the point she agrees to meet him without her underwear. It's obvious she is falling under his sway.

I take a moment to forward a few of the emails to my own account, wanting to have them safe in case something should happen to the originals. Then I close the email program and shut down her computer.

I sit in my chair, contemplating. My emotions are raw and confusing. Anger, fear, sadness, embarrassment ... they threaten to overwhelm me. I cannot think rationally, so I do what I do best. I shut it all down and focus on tasks. Shower, shave, dress, drive ... on to work.

I sit at a stoplight and take out my cell phone. Without reasoning why, I fire off a text to all of them, all four of the betrayers who have shaken the foundation of my life.

"No matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you all very much. Always know that."

As i press send, I wonder if any of them will care.