Chapter 3

I scrawled my signature in the allocated spaces. I felt oddly relieved, knowing that this was the end of a very long, and very bad marriage, but at the same time was frightened about what lay ahead of me. It had taken a child for me to realise that I had been in denial for years about the state of my marriage and after eighteen years realised things weren't going to get any better. I had to get out of the bad relationship not only for myself, but for my infant son, Bobby.

Sure Mark, had been a doting father, but he had also been a doting boyfriend and fiancé eighteen years earlier. It wasn't until the ring was on my finger that things began to rapidly change. I was fully aware that shortly Mark would stop being the perfect father and become as emotionally abusive to his son as he had been to me.

I was suprised by how easy it had been to gain full custody of my child and limit visits with his father. I was also relieved by the how much alimony I was to receive. I would have to downgrade my spending and live in a smaller house, but I would still be able to stay at home and take care of my child without having to work. I had thought about leaving several times before, but my lack of education and work experience had stopped me. I had met Mark in high school and was immediately swept off my feet by that charming, older man whom everyone loved. A marriage quickly followed. He was wealthy, and I thought I would be set for life, so my education fell and I barely graduated from High School, never pursuing a higher education.

I had found a small house in the same suburb I had been living in. I would still be near my friends and there were good amenities for Bobby. Mark would be selling the house and moving near Ashford, so he could be closer to his office and so he could avoid the embarrassment I had caused him among his friends. My boxes were waiting for me when I got home from the lawyers office. I hadn't realised how emotionally draining the day had been, until I had sat down to start unpacking the boxes. I was glad that my friend Charlotte had volunteered to baby sit Bobby for the day.

Realising that I had no motivation to unpack my belongings, I decided to make my way into the city and pick up a few necessities for my new house. I drove rather quickly, hoping to avoid afternoon traffic. Successfully managing to do so, I reached Canterbury in under an hour and was able to find a convenient parking space. I picked up a shopping trolley and walked into Dunelm Mills. I began walking between the isles, throwing sheets, towels and other linens into my basket. I found a soft blanket for Bobby's crib and several boyish stickers perfect for a little boy's room.

That's when I saw her. At first I didn't completely recognize her. She looked different than the last time I had seen her, three years earlier. Her physical appearance wasn't much different, she had the same long auburn hair, slim figure and blue eyes. Her face was different though. She looked happier and she carried herself differently; as though weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

I watched her for a few moments, looking back and forth between two different bed linen sets. It took that time for me to muster up the courage to go and talk to her. I took a few tentative footsteps towards her, before gaining some confidence.

"I think the blue one suits you more." I said.

She turned and said nothing in reply. I was afraid at first that she didn't recognize me. After all, we had only spent a couple of nights together three years ago. I could see it in her eyes. She knew exactly who I was.

"Ceciline." She whispered so quietly that I almost didn't hear her.

"Hi Nicola."

There was a few moments of silence. Neither of us sure what to say to each other. I hadn't thought through what I had expected upon seeing her. I saw her glancing into my basket.

"I have a son." She just nodded. "I just got divorced" I added. I felt like I needed to explain. She just nodded again, still unsure of what to say.

"Maybe I will get the blue one." She said indicating to the bed set she had been looking at earlier.

"Do you maybe want to grab a coffee? I just need to pay for these things." I asked, on the off chance she may not have any plans. I wasn't really sure what I was expecting, but the instantaneous attraction I had felt three years ago came back, and I was hoping the chemistry would still be there.

"Uh ... Sure" she said hesitantly.

Luckily the queue at the checkout counter wasn't very long, so we didn't have to wait long. I paid for my items and Nicola paid for the bedspread and a towel. We walked to the parking lot.

"Did you want to follow me in your car?" I asked.

"It's in the shop being fixed. I took the bus here. I don't live that far away."

"We can take my car then. After a coffee I can take you home."

We put our shopping bags in the boot of my Prius. Fortunately I had been able to keep my luxury car. Although since having Bobby, it had quickly become trashed with baby toys and supplies. I had to clear a box of nappies off of the front seat, so Nicola would have space to sit. We rode to the coffee shop in complete silence. She rubbed her hands nervously on her knees and looked out of the window the entire ride. I chose a café slightly outside of Canterbury which I knew would be quiet and where I wouldn't run into anyone that I knew.

We picked a table close to a window and both ordered a cappuccino. Nicola pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and placed one in her mouth. Upon seeing her light it, the waitress brought an ashtray to our table.

"Do you want one?" She asked me.

"No." I had only ever smoked, because Mark had. But since getting pregnant I had given up completely. "So, what's new with you?"

I realised straight away that it was a pretty silly question, I had never known anything about Nicola's life. I think she realised that I never knew anything about her life, so kindly told me a few things about her current life.

"I am studying to become a massage therapist. Quit my horrid job, and am now working as a bartender at night. I take it a lot has changed with you?"

She seemed to be more at ease with me, which made me loosen up somewhat.

"Mark and I got divorced. Signed the papers today. I have a fourteen month old son, Bobby who is the centre of my life right now." That pretty much summed up my life. Until I realised that was all I could say, and in that instant it seemed so boring.

"Mark's the..."

"He was my husband. The one who paid you to..." I didn't need to finish the sentence either.

"Hmph. I just never knew his name. I didn't want to ask, you know back then. I thought it would make the whole situation too personal." She took another drag of her cigarette. "I guess there is no one else in your life?"

"I don't think I am ready to start dating anyone anytime soon. Mark is pretty much the only man I have ever been with I don't think I will ever find another one." A woman on the other hand ... I thought to myself. "Do you have someone?"

"Not really." She replied vaguely. "I mean there is usually someone, but they never last long. But nobody right now."

I was surprised. Nicola was a very attractive personable woman. I would have thought she wouldn't have had any trouble finding someone to settle down with. Maybe she didn't want to though. It wouldn't have surprised me if she had men issues. After all, something had enticed her to return to the parking lot after the first meeting with my husband, and it certainly wasn't the money.

Our coffees arrived and Nicola stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray. It had begun to get chilly for a summer's afternoon. It was England though, and weather was unpredictable. It was nice to have something warm to drink. It also gave me something to do when there was a lull in the conversation.

We chatted a little longer, our conversation remaining very shallow. I think both of us were too afraid to ask what we really wanted to, or to talk about our meetings a few years earlier. She asked me plenty of questions about Bobby, and the proud mummy that I was, I talked for several minutes about him and his achievements as a toddler. Nicola was very sweet and acted interested, but I know that it must have been quite boring for a childless woman as young as her. You can't really appreciate certain things a child does until you have your own.

Time went by quickly and I didn't look at my watch until I had noticed that it had started to get a bit dark. We had long since finished our coffees, and Nicola had gone through several more cigarettes.

"Why don't I take you home?" I asked placing a fiver on the bill we had received before we had even finished our coffees. Nicola had reached into her purse to get money, but I stood up and headed towards the door before she even had the chance to offer her portion of the bill too me.

Silence filled the car once again. She only spoke when I asked her where she lived. She seemed hesitant at first, but in the end told me. The flow of our conversation had ended when we walked out of the café. I was unsure of what I felt about our meeting. I wasn't even sure of my feelings towards her. Attraction and chemistry were definitely there, but my attachment to her seemed silly when I thought about it. I wanted her just as much as I had the first night I had met her three years ago, but it wasn't just physical attracted. I wanted her more than just sexually. I wanted her as a partner, as a companion. It was silly really. I couldn't explain it, but the feeling were there.

She lived a little further away than I had expected. I pulled into the parking lot of a block of dingy looking flats. Three years ago, I had known she didn't have a lot of money. I could tell by her cheap clothes and badly coloured hair. I don't know why I had expected her to have moved up, but I was surprised she was still living in someplace so poor. I guess I couldn't quite understand. After all, I had never worked for my own money and she was putting herself through school on a bartender's salary.

"It was nice to see you again." I pulled a card out of my wallet that had my name, number and new address printed on it. I handed it to her. "If you ever want to get together again, here's my details."