04 Wanderer
Chapter 17

Copyright© 2009 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

Present – Maria – Truth Network Parking lot – Washington DC

Shit! The old fart steps between Megan and me at the exactly wrong time. Then I nail him from one side and Megan nails him from the other. He goes down like the sack of shit he is and pukes up his dinner.

As I look at Megan, she winces and shouts, "Look out!" But it is too fucking late! The next thing I know I am knocked on my ass and someone is screaming like a banshee and kicking the shit out of Megan.

Just as I think it's about fucking time Megan's getting her ass kicked, someone starts smacking me with a stick. I turn and get ready to kick 'someone's' ass and see it is a fucking munchkin! I will do most anything once, twice if I fucking like it, but fighting a munchkin isn't one of them. I yell, "Fuck this shit!" jump up exactly at the wrong time, take a blow to my face and...

Present – Megan – Truth Network Parking lot – Washington DC

Dammit, Jack got in the way and Maria and I knocked him out. I am just getting ready to see how he is when all hell breaks loose. Some bitch runs up, knocks Maria on her ass and I am in the fight of my life.

She screams and yells and I can't understand why she is upset at me or what the fuck she is even saying. Shit, I already have a bloody lip and at least one black eye - she is fucking seriously upset about something.

I hear Maria yell, it distracts me and the last thing I remember is seeing a kid hitting her with a stick...

Present – Jack – Truth Network Parking lot – Washington DC

I mumble, "Did someone get the license plate of that bus that just hit me?"

I feel a familiar kiss on my lips and hear, "Jack, my Jack, are you okay?"

It can't be, but then I hear, "Papa!" and I know I'm not dreaming. I open my eyes and see my wonderful wife and beautiful boy. I smile and say, "Masha, Vanya, it's good to see both of you?"

I hear a moan, look over and see Maria and Megan lying mostly unconscious on the ground, and I remember how I stepped between them. I lovingly look at Masha and ask, "Masha honey, did you do that to those women?"

She smiles and replies, "Yes Jack, and Vanya helped."

Vanya laughs, runs over to Maria with his stick, smacks her again and says, "I big help to Mama with fight!"

I carefully explain, "Guys, those are my and Jens' friends and them knocking me out was an accident."

Masha counters with, "Jack, they very bad women and look like they hurt you. I need to protect my man."

Ivan echoes, "Very bad women! Hurt Papa! I hit with stick!" He raises his stick to hit Maria again. Maria must have awakened because she yells, "If you hit me one more time with that stick munchkin, I'm going to take it away from you and spank your ass with it." She scares the hell out of Vanya so he lets out a yell and runs towards us.

Masha reacts like a she bear protecting her young and I barely have time to grab her and yell, "Alright everyone! Simmer the hell down!"

Present – Maria – Truth Network Parking lot – Washington DC

I wake up when that fucking munchkin hit me with the stick again. He is going to smack me again so I yell, "If you hit me one more time with that stick munchkin, I'm going to take it away from you and spank your ass with it."

I guess I scare the crap out of the munchkin so he starts crying and takes off. Then the old fart says, "Alright everyone! Simmer the hell down!"

I look over and he is doing his best to restrain the bitch that just knocked my ass out. It was a fucking lucky punch and I want a second chance so I yell, "Hey old fart let her go. She won't surprise me this time."

The bitch replies, "You will talk to my husband with respect or I will rip your tongue out."

The munchkin acts all brave and says, "And I hit you with stick bad woman!"

Well fuck me! It's Jack's wife and son. Duh-amn can she fight!

Jack says, "Masha and Vanya, this is Maria and Megan, they are my friends."

The bitch replies, "Jack with friends like that you not need enemies."

Present – Megan – Truth Network Parking lot – Washington DC

My whole body hurts! I wake up and hear, "Jack with friends like that you not need enemies." I recognize the Russian accent and know it must be Jack's wife Masha. Damn she sure can fight! I slowly sit up look at them and say, "Masha, I apologize for hurting Jack."

A little boy, it must be their son peeks around Masha's leg and says, "Bad woman hurt Papa!"

Masha says, "She nicer woman than other. But she still hurt you Jack."

Jack replies, "Masha and Vanya, this is Megan, a very good and old friend of Jens."

The little boy, Vanya peeks again and says, "Yes very old friend."

I laugh. It hurt my lip before I reply, "Vanya, and Masha it was by accident we hurt Jack and we are both very sorry."

I think I just about have the situation under control until Maria opens her big mouth and says...

Present – Maria – Truth Network Parking lot – Washington DC

The BSB may be sorry she smacked Jack, but she doesn't speak for me. So I say, "Speak for yourself bitch! If the old fart stepped between us, he deserved what the hell he got."

Jacks wife lunges at me and says, "You need to be taught big lesson!"

I sass, "Yeah, well it will take someone better than a Russian whore to teach me a 'big lesson'."

I must have hit a nerve with the bitch, because she fights like hell with Jack. Jack gets everyone's attention when he yells, "That's enough of this bullshit. If you all keep it up I'm going to kick everyone's ass!!!"

Present – Jens

I just have time enough to pull the car over to the side of the road without wrecking. Linus demands, "Jens, what the hell are you doing?"

I shush him and concentrate on the memory Ben is having. Yes! Once again I can sense his feelings. He's remembering how I used to steal the bed covers. I giggle because I wasn't stealing the bed from him; I just wanted to be as close to him as possible. Then I can see he's in some old hotel room and he, he, he's in bed with another woman. I realize right as the dream leaves that he feels that she is his sister. He sure has way too many adopted sisters!

I turn, look at Linus as tears stream down my face and explain, "Linus, I just had another vision of Ben and I need you to drive."

Present – Linus – Driving to Fredrick MD

I realize when I saw who Erast Petrovich Fandorin is and the way Jens flew out of the office, that she is heading to Fredrick to try to find Ben. I can't let her go on her own. The computer program to sort through data about Ben is mostly done, so I catch up with her to provide backup. Ben is so fucked up right now, and Jens is so pissed at him they might kill each other if they meet. And that would be an epic mistake for both of them!

So we head out the front of the station, grab my car and head towards Fredrick. Jens and I fight about driving but she wins again. She is actually driving only fifteen miles over the speed limit, which is sedate for her. Then she pulls over to the side of the road, her eyes glaze over and I ask her, "Jens, what's going on?" She shushes me so I patiently wait.

She turns, looks at me with tears streaming down her face and says, "Linus, I just had another vision of Ben and I need you to drive."

I get out of the passenger side of the car, Jens slides across the seat, I jump in the driver's side and we continue towards Fredrick. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence I question, "Jens tell me what you saw?"

Jens answers, "Linus, Ben remembered how I used to steal the bed covers from him back when we were together and I could see him and the room he is in."

I ask, "Jens tell me everything you remember about the room."

She takes a deep breath and starts, "Linus, it was in an older hotel and I had a feeling it was in a bad part of town. The walls were a very faded green and the curtains were worn. There was a woman - no that's not right ... more of an older teenager in bed with him."

I dread what I assume she will say next, but am happily surprised as she continues, "At first I thought he had slept with her, but I realized right as the vision ended she was like an adopted sister to him. It's funny because she seems familiar looking to me."

She stops but I can tell there is more so I probe further, "Jens, you're not telling me something."

She answers, "Yeah there was something about a mummy - no that's not right ... sorry Linus, I just don't know."

Jens is obviously very shaken by what she calls her 'vision'. I have doubted her 'visions' in the past, but her description is just too realistic this time. Perhaps she really can somehow connect with Ben.

I glance at her and note she's fallen asleep and I wonder about all she told me and how we can use it to help her find Ben...

Present – Jack – Truth Network – Washington DC

I knew that Masha is a hell of a fighter, but I never knew she could take down two women at the same time - especially Maria. I'm proud as hell about her, but also need to remember to never get her pissed at me.

Finally, after threatening everyone with and ass kicking (and even scaring Vanya), get everyone simmered down. However I realize if Masha and Maria are around each other too much they are going to fight again - especially after Maria called Masha a 'Russian whore'. Those are serious fighting words and somehow I'm going to have to fix an almost unfixable situation. So I make a decision and say, "Look Megan and Maria, I'm taking Masha and Vanya back to the hotel and will be back in a few minutes. Why don't you two go in and talk to Jens and Linus."

Present – Maria – Truth Network Office – Washington DC

The old fart's wise to keep his bitch away from me, because I want another chance to fight that skank. Something about her bugs the hell out of me and I can't put my finger on it. Anyway, I don't trust her any more than I trust the 'twisted sisters.' She's not quite what she seems to me - no soccer mom ever beat me in a fair fight. Yeah, she knows jack shit about fighting!

We walk into the office but now it's changed for the worse: It's decorated with a bunch of girly shit. Before it looked like a barracks but now it looks like Barbie and the barracks fought each other and they both lost. Megan asks me, "Where are Linus and Jens?" I think that's about the most stupid question I've ever heard, so I sass, "Well they sure as hell aren't here."

Yeah things aren't settled between me and the BSB and I wouldn't feel bad if I kicked her fat ass tonight. She gives me a dirty look and commands, "Maria, go up to security and see if they have any record of Jens or Linus leaving the building."

For a second I want to tell her to go fuck herself, but then decide being anyplace other than this bastardized office is a good thing so I announce, "Megan, just so you know - I'm doing this because I want to, not because you ordered me to do it. I'm fucking through with following your fucking orders."

Present – Megan – Truth Network Office – Washington DC

Things have gone to hell! Maria has become defiant and got me upset enough to fight her. I certainly understand how she and Jens get along so well: They both resort to physical confrontation to settle things.

Then Jack's wife shows up and gives us both a beating ... It makes me wonder, what the hell is her story all about? She's much more than just a suburban housewife because they don't know how to fight like she fought.

And now Jens and Linus are missing. Where the hell did they go? I sit at the computer and start to fumble around with it. There was a time, so long ago now, that I was almost as good a hacker as Jens, but I lost all that because ... well I don't want to think about that right now.

Perhaps Maria will come back with Jens and Linus and then we can start working on the situation with Liz's twins...

Present – Liz – Tajikistan – super-secret mission – back of the truck

The truck starts, pulls about ten feet forward and then stops. I look at Bernie and we both get ready by aiming our weapons at the back door. I hear Ira request, "Ms. Morgan, I am back so please do not fire upon me when I open the door."

I'm not sure what's worse, being locked up in the back of the truck or knowing I will see Ira and will need to act like everything is fine between us. Bernie whispers, "Liz, you need to be very angry about being locked up in the back of the truck."

I decide Bernie is right and the best defense here would be a great offense. I wait for Ira to open the door and then I pull the trigger...

Present – Byron – TSIFFTS

My great dinner is interrupted by a phone call. I hang up my mobile phone and command, "Guys we have an emergency and need to roll!" The smaller well-oiled machine that Thom created springs into immediate action. First, much too much money hits the table to cover our bill then we quickly exit the steak house and move towards the car.

Jim jumps into the driver's seat while Todd and I jump into the back and start gearing up - in full battle gear.

Jim finally breaks the silence, "Byron, what's the emergency?"

I reply, "Thom's in big trouble." That's all they need to know for right now...

Present – Stacey (Angelina) – On the road – Fredrick MD

I am very sure that whoever said "May you live in interesting times" is a curse must be wrong. Because today has been possibly the most interesting day of my entire life and it has been a blessing – certainly not a curse.

First Paulo took me to a sporting goods store. I ask, "Paulo, why are we here."

He smiles at me and replies, "Angelina that pack of yours will not work for the travelling we are doing." Then he proceeds to talk with the store clerk and I end up with a very nice Gregory Denali Pro pack just like his. I am shocked at the price since it is over five-hundred dollars. I feel it is an outrageous price until I load up all my new gear and put the pack on. Paulo makes a few adjustments on it and I barely feel the increased load.

Oh yes, my new gear! I almost forgot to mention: I have a new Marmot Never Summer sleeping bag, Paulo says it's rated for zero degrees but will be fine where we're going; a very nice inflatable Thermarest air mattress; we dumped the junky old cookware Paulo had and bought some nice Evernew titanium cookware; then he loaded a bunch of freeze dried meals into my new pack. Finally, but somewhat sadly, I get rid of my old clothes, except for the best pair of designer jeans and now I have a more utilitarian wardrobe.

I ask, "Paulo, why all the camping gear?"

He responds, "Angelina, you will see that when we leave Fredrick we will need all of this."

It doesn't matter because with the new pack carrying it is so easy! As we leave the store I start skipping, smile at him and ask, "Where to next?"

Present – Ben (Paulo) – On the road – Fredrick MD

I am glad to see Angelina take to her new backpack so well; her old pack was a designer pack and not designed to really carry her share of the load. I could tell she was upset about having to give up her clothes, but they were not practical for the type of travel we will be doing.

I fight back laughter when she starts skipping then asks me, "Where to next?"

I answer, "We need to do four more things. First we need to find an ATM machine to replenish our funds."

She interrupts, "Paulo aren't you worried they will use that to find us like the bounty hunters found me?"

I smile at her, "No, Angelina, this is my emergency account that only I know about."

She blurts, "I wish I had an account like that. But what about your Social Security Number, isn't it tied to the account?"

I am impressed with her financial knowledge, but it has some obvious gaps. I grin, "They do not require a Social Security Number for a bank account in the European Union. In fact their privacy rules for bank accounts are much stronger than those in America."

She continues the questioning, "But don't you need to report the interest earned on your income tax?"

I explain, "Yes but the owner of the account is a New Mexico LLC with no ties to my name. Now to continue your first question, we are going to find and ATM, then we need to get you a better weapon, we need to pick up your new identity documents and finally we need to purchase bus tickets and leave."

She asks, "Can I have a pink gun?"

I shake my head, "No, the weapon I have in mind for you does not come in pink."

I start to grow tired of her questions when she asks, "Paulo, why don't we just use the tickets we already have?"

I reply in a bit more grumpy tone than I meant, "Angelina, I have a feeling that those who are seeking us might know we are here and might know our planned route. So, we will change our route."

Present – Stacey (Angelina) – On the road – Fredrick MD

Wow! I am impressed with Ben, I mean Paulo. In just a few minutes of conversing with him, I learned some very useful financial tools which I never knew about. I am dying to ask him more about them, but I can tell he's growing annoyed with my questions and I do not want to upset him.

I will need to tell him later that his Paulo character resembles Erast because they both make lists. But I am concerned that we are still being chased and that they might know where we are and where we were headed. But if we're not taking I-70 to Denver, then where in the heck are we going. Oh well, Paulo will explain when we get the tickets...

Present – Thom – Rogue mission - Washington DC

I raise my pistol and get ready to eliminate the one bastard when I hear someone behind me say, "Freeze or you're a dead man!" punctuated with the racking of a shotgun slide.

Son of a bitch, it's the second bastard and he snuck up on me! I must be getting fucking old.

I reply, "Let's not get hasty here!"

The bastard laughs, "We were tipped off someone was gunning for us, so we've been watching you all day. Now slowly throw your gun on the ground and turn around."

I hate like hell tossing my gun. As I do it, I hear gunfire and then all hell breaks loose!!!

Present – Ira – Tajikistan – super-secret mission

I seriously underestimate Ms. Morgan's anger. When I open the back door of the truck, she fires into the wall right over my head. I fall to the floor and yell, "Ms. Morgan, it is Ira please do not fire again!"

She responds, "Ira, that wasn't an accident - that was a warning! You ever do that again and I won't miss."

It is worse than my first assumption: She purposely fired at me and purposely missed me. Perhaps we have given her too many drugs.

 
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