Wednesday Morning 9:15

by Cvent

Copyright© 2010 by Cvent

Humor Story: I was reminded of the dear B.O.F.H. recently and thought it would be fun to make my own contribution. All credit goes to Simon. There can be only one, and all others are mere shadows in his bright ray of sunshine. That being said, this may be the beginning of a series of these stories.

Tags: Fan Fiction   Humor  

The phone was ringing when I drug my sorry ass into the office.

No coffee, computer's not on yet, God only knows when I'll feel like turning on the light, and someone has the nerve to call me. What the hell time is it?


Hell they should know better.

I picked up my headset, punched the blinking red button on the phone and said, "What?"

The voice on the other end was in the middle of talking to someone else and didn't hear me, so I hung up the phone.

The room was blissfully quiet for a moment, so I started to boot up my computer.

It didn't get very far before the phone went back to it's annoying ringing.

I punched the button and said, "What?" again.

"Is this IT?" asked a woman's voice.

"No, this is Mike. What do you want?"

"I need to talk to someone in the IT department," she said.

"Sorry," I smirked. "Our company doesn't have one. This is the Information Systems Department. You can call us ISD for short if you want."

"What?" said the voice.

"What what?" I asked.

"Um, do you fix the computers?"

"Yep, that's me," I said.

"Oh good. This is Julie in accounting, and none of us can log into the server here."

"Which server?" I asked. Simple question. Should get a simple answer.

"The accounting server." came the reply. Shit. Too simple.

"Julie, can you be a little more detailed?" I ask.

"Uh hu," she mumbles, thinks for a moment, then says, "Well, I click on the icon on my hard drive and it just sits there for a while and then it doesn't do anything."

Oh God. Lusers kill me.

"What color is the icon?" I ask.

"It's kind of red, with a circle."

"Does it have a title, Julie?"

"Um, I think it says Shortcut to citrix prog and then there are three dots."

"Ok Julie, I'm putting you on hold now."

She tried to say OK, but my finger was too fast. The room was nice and quiet again, with only the blinking hold light on my phone to annoy me. Coffee. I needed coffee.

I logged on my computer and opened up the helpdesk email. Fifty seven new emails all of them complaining that the server was down. The accountants said the accounting server was down, the engineers said the engineering server was down, and customer support didn't know how to find their ass if their thumb was stuck in it.

I sighed. Definitely need some coffee. I pushed back my chair and stood, then ambled out of my office and down the hallway into the break room.

Someone left the empty pot of coffee on the hot burner and burned the coffee scum on the bottom. It was smoking and looked like the glass might shatter any moment.


So I turned around and went back without any coffee.

The red light was still blinking on my phone, so I knew Julie hadn't given up yet, but that was typical of someone from accounting.

"Citrix server..." I said to myself. 'Oh yeah."

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