Country Boys
Chapter 21

Copyright© 2010 by Lazlo Zalezac

Detective Mike Saperstein woke up feeling as though a nine hundred pound gorilla was sitting on his chest. It was tough to breath, and each breath he took, hurt. He looked over at the man in the bed next to his.

He groaned and said, “I must have died and gone to hell.”

Sonny smiled at him and said, “You look like something that dropped out the south end of a north bound cow.”

“What in the hell does that mean?” Mike asked ... he wasn’t in the mood to put up with Sonny’s country sayings.

“It means you look like shit,” Sonny answered.

He laughed, and then clutched his stomach in pain.

Mike said, “I’m hurt and stuck in a room with a goddamned comedian.”

“Hey! Don’t go taking the name of the Lord in vain. It’s by His grace that we’re even alive,” Sonny said sharply.

“Sorry,” Mike said.

It was just his luck to end up in a room with a religious zealot. He groaned in pain. He had never been in such pain.

“You seem a little irritable this morning,” Sonny said.

“I woke up and found you here,” Mike said.

He remembered waking up a couple of times in a different room. He looked around trying to make sense of his surroundings.

Sonny said, “I’d tell you to look out the window at the nice blue sky to cheer up, but it actually looks kind of brown and sickly today.”

“Thermal inversion,” Mike said. He wondered how he remembered that.

“You look like you are in a bit of pain. You might want to call the nurse in here and get some ‘happy medicine’. They’ve got some really, really good ‘happy medicine’ here. I’m higher than a kite,” Sonny said.

“That’s a good idea,” Mike said pressing the call button.

“Some of your cop friends have been by to see you,” Sonny said. Grinning, he added, “I told all of them that you and I are drinking buddies.”

“God, kill me now,” Mike said.

“Only one of them figured out that I was underage. He said he was your supervisor ... or was he the guy from internal affairs. I don’t remember,” Sonny said with a chuckle. “I think you’re going to have to do some explaining about that.”

“I really hate you,” Mike said.

Sonny said, “Would you like some good news?”

“I don’t think anything you say can ever be interpreted as good news,” Mike said, “except for goodbye ... I’d like to hear that.”

“I was thinking that after this experience you might want to change jobs. I asked my Mom to put in a good word for you up in Montana. You’ll love it up there,” Sonny said.

“Just shoot me and put me out of my misery,” Mike said with a groan.

“Hey, that gang tried. They shot you three times,” Sonny said.

Looking confused, Mike said, “The last thing I remember was that we were talking. You had just said something about returning to school, or something. I think I saw a car and some gang members leaning out of it.”

“Don’t worry about them. I got the one that shot us. They crashed, and your cop buddies swarmed all over them. You’ll be pleased to know that those gang members didn’t have a chance to get out their car and onto private property,” Sonny said, unable to resist putting in that last little dig.

“You shot the one that shot me?” Mike asked.

“You really need to get a better gun than that dinky little .38 caliber Smith and Wesson Model 36 revolver. I was shooting at the guy shooting at us and hit the driver, the door twice, and the building on the other side of the car before I ever hit the shooter. I just winged him. I’d go with the 10mm Smith and Wesson Model 610 with the six and a half inch barrel. Now that would put a world of hurt on them, and with the longer barrel you get a better accuracy,” Sonny said.

“You used my gun?” Mike asked knowing that he was going to get hauled in front of review board.

“You weren’t using it, and I didn’t have one,” Sonny said with a shrug.

The nurse finally came into the room and asked, “What do you need?”

Sonny said, “He needs some ‘happy pills’. Just look at that frown on his face.”

“I need something for pain and a room that’s as far from him as I can possibly get,” Mike said with a groan. His shoulder was killing him.

While checking over his chart, the nurse said, “I understood that he saved your life.”

“Don’t tell me that,” Mike said.

“After I took care of the bad guys, I rendered first aid on you. It wasn’t much, since I was doing the same for me. They say that you’re supposed to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding,” Sonny said.

The nurse came over and said, “We’ve got you on a patient-controlled analgesia system. All you have to do for the pain is press that button.”

Frowning, Sonny asked, “How come I don’t have one of those?”

“We want you in a bit of pain. You have a reputation for getting up, and walking around,” the nurse answered.

Sonny grinned and said, “It ain’t working. I’m feeling no pain.”

“He’s going to drive me crazy. I’d really like a different room,” Mike said.

Turning to Mike, she said, “I’ll see what I can do about getting you a different room.”

Sonny picked up a cell phone and pressed some numbers on it. Mike glanced over at Sonny. It took him a second or two to realize what he was doing.

Curious, Mike asked, “Is that my cell phone?”

“Yes. I’m calling your daughter. I promised I would call her when you woke up, but I kind of forgot. My bad,” Sonny said. “She’s a little worried about you. You were in surgery for thirteen hours. Then they had you in intensive care for a whole day. They just moved you into this room, this morning.”

“Give me that phone,” Mike said.

He tried to reach over to Sonny to grab the phone. He realized that was a mistake almost immediately. The whole world faded from view for a second. He jabbed the button a couple of times.

Sonny shifted the phone to his other hand and said, “Hello, Susan. This is Sonny.”

Mike said, “Susan is not my daughter. She’s my wife.”

“He’s awake.

“He’s not in a very good mood.”

“Give me that phone,” Mike said.

 
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