Chapter 6: Curiouser and Curiouser

Wait ... you can’t be ... you’re ... I ... You’re Dead...

The man smiled at me, “As Samuel Clemens once said, Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

I managed to stutter out, “But ... But ... But...”

The man crossed over to me, “I think we broke him.”

Denise giggled, “Give him a few minutes ... eventually that mouth hanging open expression will disappear.”

Somehow I managed to bow, “Sir, it’s an honor to meet you.”

He returned my bow, “As it is an honor to meet you. Anyone who could manage to tame this one...” He hooked a thumb back towards Denise, “must be someone special.”

I stammered out, “But you’re...”

The man said, “Lee Jun-fan ... but most knew me as Bruce Lee.”

“Sir, Mr. Lee, I...”

Bruce smiled, “Please just call me Bruce. Come sit down and let’s have some tea and I’ll explain.”

Denise and Bruce took my arms and led me out through the accordion doors to the patio then motioned for me to sit at a wrought iron, glass topped table. A dainty young lady in flowing robes came out with a rolling tea cart and began serving us.

Denise gave her a big smile and a hug as she reached us, “JinJing, how are you?”

The small woman returned her hug, “Ms. Denise, I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been fine. Ms. Linda makes sure Sensi doesn’t work me too hard.”

Denise smiled, “He is a slave driver isn’t he?”

Bruce looked over at Linda and then me, “You’d think I could get some respect in my own home.”

That comment seemed to break my brain freeze and I chuckled, “You should hear the grief I get from Arthur.”

Bruce gave me a quizzical look, “You have a butler?”

I shook my head, “Not in the traditional sense, He’s my home automation A.I. He claims that the personality of the programmer defines the personality of the A.I. so I’m actually the reason he’s such a sarcastic pain in my backside.”

<I’m only the result of the programmer who made me Sir, take it up with him.>

I looked up, “Quiet you.”

Denise laughed.

Both Linda and Bruce looked confused. Bruce said, “Who are you talking to?”

I chuckled, “I forget that not everyone can hear him. Denise and I have earbuds that allow him to talk to us when we’re on the road.”

Arthur piped up <Sir, if you can get a small radio I can tune my transmitter so everyone can hear me.>

Denise popped up, “Hang on, I have just the thing.”

Denise ran out to the bikes and was back in a minute or two, “Here we go, it’s a small home automation speaker and transmitter we’ve been working on. I had one at my place and thought it might come in handy at the hotel.”

The device was a round puck shaped device about 3 inches across and 2 inches high She placed it in the center of the table and turned it on, “How’s that Arthur?”

<Perfect Ma’am, I can hear and speak to everyone now.>

“Arthur, I’d like to introduce you to Bruce and Linda Lee.”

There was a very brief pause from Arthur <”It’s a pleasure to meet the both of you. I must admit I was a bit shocked when I realized who you are Sir.”>

Bruce looked at me, “He’s remarkable, He sounds so alive.”

<”In the biological sense I’m not alive, but in an intellectual sense I’m very much alive.”>

I looked at Bruce, “Actually, when Arthur first gained true sentience I made him watch 1000’s of hours of comedies to begin to understand humor, especially sarcasm.”

<Actually Sir, I watched 43,463 hours of TV and movies. I’ve also compiled a extensive database of Movie and TV quotes along with a trivia database.>

Arthur’s’ voice changed to something far more English

<What ... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?>

<What do you mean? An African or European swallow?>

<Huh? I ... I don’t know that.>

<Auuuuuuuugh... >

Denise started laughing hard, “You realize you’ve created a Trivial Pursuit expert, don’t you?”

I laughed, “So it seems...”

“When I designed Arthur and started teaching him, I wanted to create a digital assistant that could interact with people and sound so human that the user would forget he was a computer system. I was trying to make it so he’d be able to pass the Turing Test without breaking a sweat.”

<Sir, There are things I will never understand from a personal point of view such as pain. Since it’s a physical sensation I can’t experience it, but I understand emotions like anger, sadness, joy ... However, my understanding is only from an intellectual perspective.>

<I’ve purposely put heavy dampers on anger and sadness as a reaction because they can be so destructive and no one wants me to become Marvin the Paranoid Android, but the positive emotions like joy are given free reign.>

We talked for a good 30 minutes about A.I. and Arthur. Both Bruce and Linda asked him questions and in fairly short order were talking to him like he was just another person in the room, which was exactly what I designed him to be.

Linda finally broke up the discussion on computers by asking Denise, “So, how did you two meet?”

Denise chuckled, “Well my friend Amy and I were at a sports bar watching the Bears get pounded yet again when we decided to leave. That’s when three local meatheads decided to follow us out to the parking lot.”

Bruce looked at her, “They had no idea what they were getting into did they? You didn’t hurt them too badly did you?”

Denise laughed, “The lead meathead received a light rebuke for trying to him me, but just as he was about to make a serious mistake TB came out from the shadows and...” she used air quotes, “rescued us...”

I feigned a hurt look, “How was I supposed to know you were a Martial Arts Master of JKD?”

Denise shook her head, “I’m not a Master, but Sensi thinks I’m ready ... That’s why we’re here.”

Linda interrupted, “So what happened?”

I stepped in, “Well the lead meathead was about to swing at her when I grabbed his arm. He didn’t bother to look at who stopped him, That’s when he wheeled around and punched me ... It was like punching a tank...”

I frowned, “Hopefully his hand is healing ok. After the cops came and collected them we all had to go to the Police station and make reports ... That’s where we officially met.”

Denise giggled, “It was a bit messy for them, one guy laid himself out by trying to hit TB with a baseball bat ... it ricocheted back and hit him squarely between the eyes.”

Linda winced, “Ouch ... was he ok?”

I nodded, “Yeah, my friend on the police force said he ended up with a concussion, but he’d recover fine. Later I was sitting outside the station when Denise introduced herself and gave me her card.”

Bruce smiled, “Our little one has always been impulsive, but she has very good instincts.”

The conversation was fun and free flowing for another hour or so. I told them how I got here and such. During a pause after we’d finished a light lunch, Bruce looked at Denise.

“Are you ready, my student?” His voice was more measured and formal.

Denise recognized the formality, paused and looked at him, “Yes Sensi, I am.”

The two of them rose from the table and headed down a path to the left of the patio. Linda rose and motioned for me to follow, “You’re not going to want to miss this. I’ve been around this for 40 years and it still takes my breath away to watch Bruce and his best students testing each other.”

I rose with her after a last sip of water, “We never got to it and I hope you’re not offended, but neither of you look like you’re more than your mid 30’s.”

Linda smiled, “No offense taken Mark. Unlike the Martial Arts where you are from, especially the forms taught by Bruce, here it is very steeped in the Mystical Arts as well as the Martial Arts. One of the side effects of the Sorcery and being his companion is a slowing of the aging process. Chronologically Bruce and I are 68 and 63, but biologically I’m about 30 and Bruce is about 36.”

I looked at her, “So you are a Martial Artist as well?”

She nodded, “I’ve got some training, but I was never into Martial Arts except as a work out routine and I’ll never be as good as Bruce or Denise. Oh I’m sure I could hold my own in a street fight, but I can’t even come close to the things they can do.”

I looked at her, “You almost make it sound like they’re Superheroes themselves.”

Linda looked at Denise and Bruce as they walked ahead of us, “They are ... I’ve seen both of them do things that defies logic ... Punching through brick walls, leaping several stories high and move so fast they’re a blur of motion?”

I’m pretty sure my mouth was hanging open, “You’re serious?”

Linda nodded, “Very much so ... The practitioners of these arts are protectors of humanity...”

I stopped, “You mean they’re Sorcerers as well as Martial Artists?”

Linda stopped and turned back to me, “Yes ... I believe they would be the equivalent of the comic book character you described ‘Doctor Strange’”

Linda looked very seriously at me, “I don’t have to tell you how much trust Denise, Bruce and I have given you by bringing you into the circle of trust. This is why Bruce faked his death back in 1973.”

I nodded, “I wondered about that...”

Linda nodded, “There were people who wanted to stop Bruce from taking his final tests to enter the circle, so he faked his own death and slipped away into the equivalent of China’s backwoods to the main monastery to complete his training and tests.”

Linda started walking again.

“While he was training I bought this property, had parts rebuilt and new facilities added. Once he completed his training, he came back to the US as the West Coast Master. That was 1975 and when he returned we began a very private school for potential protectors.”

I walked with her, “So how did Denise get involved?”

Linda looked at the two walking ahead of us, “Denise was in training in Jujutsu at a Dojo in L.A. Her instructor was a friend who would look out for talented students with mystical potential and recommended her. Bruce went to see her working out and was impressed. After the class was over he asked her to come join us.”

I looked at Denise as her and Bruce entered a small building, “How did he go there without being discovered?”

Linda chuckled, “One of the skills you learn as a mystic is disguise. It’s a simple matter of slight facial rearrangement and coloration changes. Bruce and I aren’t shut ins here, we go out to the movies, shopping and dinner all the time. It wasn’t until she passed her first testing that Bruce revealed himself to her ... Needless to say she was as stunned as you were earlier.”

Linda and I came to a large sand ring just past the small building, “this is the testing ring”

The ring was about 125 feet in diameter with a 3 foot wide padded walk around it. About 20 feet beyond the ring were light standards about every 40 feet. She led me to another wrought iron table across from the building and sat down.

I sat and turned to Linda, “This is going to change things for Denise and I won’t it?”

Linda nodded, “In some ways yes ... Denise is going to become one of the protectors, but she can’t do it alone.”

I looked at her, “What do you mean?”

Just then Denise and Bruce came out of the building, which I figured was some sort of changing room. Denise was in a classic white Gi with a black belt around her waist. Bruce was shirtless and wore a simple pair of black linen pants. He looked as fit and ripped as he had in those movies from nearly 40 years ago.

Linda saw them come out, “Bruce will explain once they’ve finished.”

Bruce and Denise walked to the edge of the ring then he turned to the right and Denise turned to the left. They walked to opposite sides of the ring, kicked off their sandals and stepped into the ring.

A moment later JinJing walked to the side of the ring opposite Linda and I, bowed to both Bruce and Denise and held her hand out. “This is the final test, Fighters Ready!”

Both nodded in acknowledgment and took their starting stances.

And then it began...

Both started to slowly walk around the ring and close on the other until they were 20 feet apart and with a blur of motion they launched at each other in unison and attacked. The flurry of strikes and blocks, kicks and dodges, feints and counter feints flashed back and forth so fast it was almost too quick to see. Then Bruce struck Denise mid chest and she was thrown back. Denise tucked, rolled and came up on her feet.

Bruce looked sharply at her, “You’re better than this little one ... Focus...”

Denise tugged down her Gi and took a defensive posture again. The two combatants circled again and again they closed on one another. Again there was a flurry of strikes and blocks, kicks and dodges, feints and counter feints, but this time Bruce slapped her open handed across the face in an almost throw away gesture and then danced away on the balls of his feet as Denise spun to the ground.

I heard the sound of rending metal and realized I was gripping the ends of the chair arms. I looked down to see I had bent the arms and crushed the ends. I looked over at Linda and sheepishly smiled, “I’ll get that fixed ... sorry”

Linda touched my arm, “It’s ok ... He’s just playing with her to get her out of her own head. She’s fighting scared. Bruce knows how to push her and make her mad.”

Bruce circled her in a dancing side step and thumbed his nose like a boxer as she straightened herself up and started circling again. They slowly worked in closer and closer, but now He was taunting her with quick feints and and dancing around her. Then it happened ... For the briefest moment she closed her eyes and it was almost like you could feel her focus snap into place. Then Denise was a blur of motion as she attacked. Denise crossed the intervening distance, swung and ducked at the same time seemingly missing her strike, but the end result was being low below his torso. As Bruce swung where she was supposed to be, she thrust her palms up. Bruce was launched up and over her as she slid across the sand on her back, but I would swear she never touched him.

I leaned towards Linda and in a low voice said, “How did he avoid that?”

She leaned in, “He didn’t...”

“But she never touched him...”

“She didn’t, she used a TK push strike”

Bruce spin in mid air and landed, spun towards Denise and gave her that classic Bruce Lee hand gesture to bring it on and smiled.

The next 15 minutes were a blur of moves and strikes, more feints and counter feints, blocks and misses with the occasional hit from one or the other. Like her first hit on Bruce some of the hits never seemed to touch the other and soon both were brushing sweat from their eyes. Then Denise got a good solid strike in that sent Bruce flying back 20 feet or so.

The sharp crack of little JinJing’s voice cut across the ring and both combatants stopped, turned and bowed to each other and to JinJing. They crossed the sand and came towards us. They headed for a cart behind us that someone on staff must have come out with. The cart had towels and water bottles, some snacks and other odds and ends. They walked over, chatting as they came over and grabbed towels and water.

Bruce looked over at us, “So what do you think?”

I gave a wry smile, “I never want to meet her in a dark alley.”

Bruce nodded, “Once she got out of her head and focused she’s formidable and dangerous.”

Bruce stood next to Linda and Denise unceremoniously plopped down on my lap.

I wrapped an arm around her waist, “If I ever treat you like some helpless damsel, smack me.” I looked at Bruce, “So is that all the testing?”

Bruce nodded, “Now Denise and I need to commune for her last instructions. This will take a couple of hours so you two might as well head back up to the house for a while.”

Bruce pulled up a chair as he took another drink, “However, and this is the part even Denise didn’t know about, You two are going to be a team. Denise is the mystical part of the team and you’re the big muscle.”

Denise looked confused, “Do you have a team?”

Bruce shook his head, “No, but the Chicago Protectors have always had extra help. It was decided that it should be a team. Chicago is right over the largest magical node in the Hemisphere.”

My eyebrows rose, “Interesting...”

Bruce looked at me, “You know what a magical node is?”

I nodded, “If they’re anything like how fantasy novels describe them yes ... In most novels magic is either internal to the Sorcerer or it’s in everything. Nodes and Ley lines are a magical network that creates a web of magical energy around the planet. The lines channel and guide the planets mystical energies. The points where they cross form the nodes of concentrated energy. A Sorcerer can tap ley lines and the nodes to augment their spells.”

Bruce nodded, “This compound sits on a good sized node as well.”

Denise added, “The one under Chicago makes this one look like a kiddie pool. Wait a minute ... I’m going to be the Chicago Protector?”

Bruce nodded, “Yes, The Chicago Master wants to retire. She’s been the Chicago Protector for a long time and she thinks it’s time to pass on the mantle.”

I asked, “How long has The Chicago Master been there?”

Bruce thought for a moment, “Let’s ask her.”

Bruce closed his eyes for a moment then spoke, “Master Le Fleur, could you join us here?”

A few moments later a doorway shimmered into existence and a small woman stepped through the portal. She had waist length black hair and worn a simple green dress and cloak.

Bruce walked over and took her hand, “Master Le Fleur, thank you for joining us.”

The lady smiled and took his hand, then pulled him in for a hug, “Bruce my friend, it’s always good to see you and your lovely wife.”

She crossed over to Linda and placed a kiss on her cheeks, “You’ve been keeping him in line. right dear?”

Linda smiled, “I try, but you know how stubborn he can be.”

Bruce just shook his head, “See what I mean TB?”

I held up my hands, “Don’t look at me, I’m just an innocent bystander.”

Master Le Fleur looked at me, “Ah TB, good to see you again.”

I looked at her quizically.

Master Le Fleur nodded, “You don’t remember us meeting, but I know you well.”

I cocked my head, “I think I’d remember if we’d met Ma’am, but I don’t remember ever encountering you.”

She looked at me thoughtfully, “I’ll explain in a bit ... Denise, so good to see you again...”

Denise stood and bowed to her, “Master Le Fleur, always good to see you.”

The lady crossed to Denise and kissed both her cheeks like she had Linda, “Oh stop that, since you’re going to be taking my place as the Master and Protector of Chicago you can call me Giselle.”

Then she turned to Bruce, “How’s she doing?”

Bruce pulled up another chair seemingly out of nowhere for Giselle, “We only have the last commune to complete and her combat tests are over. She passed with flying colors ... mostly me flying through the air when she TK punched me...” Bruce chuckled.

I looked at Denise and she was blushing, “You taunted me on purpose.”

Bruce sat between Denise and Giselle, “Yes ... because you were in your own head and unfocused ... I needed to make you mad so you’d stop doubting yourself. If you weren’t as talented as you are, you’d never had made it past 2nd initiate and you know it.”

Denise nodded and took a drink of water, “I know, it’s just old habits die hard. I’ve always had some level of self doubt because of my name. I was never sure if I was as good as people told me or it was the Arnson name.”

I touched her arm, “That’s the other reason you changed your name, wasn’t it?”

Denise nodded, “My father wanted me to change it for security reasons, but I agreed because I wanted to get by on my own skills, not my last name.”

I kissed her nose, “Well I can tell you, I love you for who you are as a person, not a name...”

Denise’s head snapped around and she looked at me, “Did you just...”

I nodded, “Yes, you silly wench ... I love you.”

Denise planted a big kiss on me, “I love you too, ya big blue doofus.”

I gave her a look and then looked at Bruce and Linda, “Is there someplace I can put her over my knee and paddle her bottom?”

Bruce smiled, “You’ve seen what she can do and you still want to try that? You’re a brave man.”

Linda chuckled, “We have a spare bedroom...” she let that trail off.

Denise shot Linda a faux hurt look, “I thought you were on my side?”

Linda smiled, “I am sweetie, but I also know what’s good for you.”

Denise stuck out her tongue at Linda and then kissed me, “We can wait til we get to the hotel.”

Bruce cleared his throat, “Now where were we ... I was telling Denise that she would be taking your place as the Chicago Master and TB wondered how long you’d been the Master of Chicago.”

Master Le Fleur leaned back in her chair, “Ah, well my husband and I came to what would eventually be Chicago in 1685. Jacques was a fur trader with a French company out of Ontario. I traveled with him to keep the books and stay close to him, but we would base camp with the local natives. It was getting on toward winter, but Jacques wanted to go out for a few days to check beaver traps and set some new ones. A severe blizzard hit and he never returned. I stayed with the natives as a translator and negotiator. As time went on I learned more of their ways and eventually I realized there was something special about the area.

Their shaman was an old man by the name of Two Eagles. He must have seen something in me because he approached me and began teaching me magic and the warrior ways. He taught me about nodes and ley lines After about 10 years of training in both he passed on the mantle of Protector.”

Denise looked at her, “and you’ve been there since then?”

Giselle nodded, “I’ve seen America go from a loose collection of states to spread across the continent and do great things ... The Continental Railroads, the great cities that came into being by hard work and toil of the people ... and horrid things ... The ‘relocation’ of the native peoples by Andrew Jackson and the trail of tears, the lies and deceptions ... I saw it all.

I’ve barely aged since I took the mantle of Protector, but I’ll be 345 years old and I’m tired. Once I turn over the mantle to you Denise I’ll live out a normal life span, but I have a 7th or 8th generation of grandchildren I want to meet and spend time with. When Jacques and I came to the America’s we left our children with my sister in France. We were only supposed to be gone a few years, but it was 10 years before I could have traveled back to France. By the time I could go back, they thought I was long dead.”

Denise slipped off my lap and hugged Giselle, “If there is anything I can do let me know.”

Giselle smiled, “I’ll be fine Denise, remember I said I did Jacques books?”

Denise nodded

Giselle continued, “Well when the first American Stock exchanges formed in the early 1800’s I was able to invest through brokers in New York or in person in disguise. Today I’m worth a little north of 60 Million ... I’ll be fine.”

Giselle smiled, “Though, can you recommend a good private jet company? I thought if I’m going to return to France I should do it in style...”

Denise grinned, “I can do you one better ... I have a beautiful G5 that will take you right into Charles de Gaulle airport.”

Giselle squeezed her hand, “Thank you sweet one ... How can I repay you?”

Denise grinned, “Spoil your grandchildren outrageously. Now let’s get this done so you can be in Paris before Christmas.”

I looked at Giselle, “you said we’d met before in a way?”

Giselle nodded, “Yes ... we did in a way ... I’m the reason you came to this Universe.”

Everyone turned to look at her...

I looked at her, “How did you... ?”

Giselle held up a hand, “I have some ability with precognition, so many years ago I started looking for my replacement. Denise was easy to find, but I knew she was supposed to have a partner ... you, my large friend, were much harder to find ... you were in a mundane Universe...

You were supposed to travel here because of an lab accident. The company was supposed to hire you out of College and put you to work writing programs. They had been working for a few decades on a Faster Than Light drive. You were going to be at a test of the new drive since you’d written a major portion of the code that controlled the drive.”

I interrupted, “But I was in my College computer lab when...”

Giselle nodded, “Yes ... it seems that some of your enemies went back in time to try and kill you before you were transported here. They caused the explosion that would have killed you. I was able to open a gate to your Universe as the explosion went off. They had put a small explosive charge in the monitor you were sitting at. When the lightning struck it was supposed to cause a power surge that set it off. I was able to stop you from being killed, but you were still hurt pretty severely. I ended up bringing you into my sanctum in the city, help you recover from the injuries and shock of the transfer. When we thought you were ready, I wiped the unpleasant memories of the 14 months of recovery and the pain of the initial transformation to TB, then dropped you in Grant Park ... and here you are ready to take your place as Co-protector of the Chicago node with Denise.”

I looked at her, “Ok can you answer a question that has been bugging me for years... ?”

Giselle nodded, “I’ll try if I can.”

I thought for a moment, “When I change, where does my wheelchair go and is it integral to the change?”

Giselle shook her head, “No the chair is not important for the change ... it’s shunted off to a small pocket dimension.”

I nodded ‘So I can replace this old beat up ancient tech wheelchair and it won’t cause a problem?”

Giselle nodded, “Once you have a new chair all you need to do is retrieve a small gem hidden in a secret compartment under the seat. The gem links you and the chair, and the chair to the pocket dimension. I meant to tell you that after the memory wipe, but there was a never a good way to tell you until now.”

I nodded, “So it’s just that 14 months I lost... ?”

Giselle nodded back, “Yes, you experienced some pretty extensive injuries from the explosion at the lab and it took time to heal your original body, plus the integration into TB was a bit rough ... I wanted to spare you from that.”

I bowed to Giselle, “Thank you for all you did...”

Giselle looked at me, “You don’t seem very bothered by this.”

I shrugged, “Not really, it sounds like I was supposed to come here, it just happened sooner than the Universe planned. Either way I’m supposed to be here.”

She smiled, “Yes, you were destined to be here and It was my pleasure to help, and seeing you and Denise together I know I did the right thing.”

Bruce stood and motioned to Denise, “Let’s finish the last part and you can get on your way, I believe you were headed for a vacation to Las Vegas,”

Denise stood, “Yes Sensi, let’s complete this.”

Bruce and Denise walked down to another area and the three of us walked back to the house.

As we sat I said, “So what now?”

They’re going to go down to our meditation pagoda and Bruce will commune with Denise for the last part. This could last a few hours so we can wait up on the patio and talk. JinJing will let us know when they are nearly done so we can go for the last bit.”

Giselle nodded, “Once they are done I’ll pass the mantle on to Denise and we’re done.”

The module for Arthur was still there, “Arthur, call the Palms and let them know we’re going to need a late check in.”

<I already called and let them know, Sir. I also delayed the delivery of the Hummer until tomorrow around 4 p.m.>

“Good deal, that way we don’t have to rush.” I motioned to Giselle, “This is my A.I. Arthur, he’s sort of my man Friday and personal secretary.”

We all sat down and watched the afternoon sun head to the west, talked and I got a chance to know Giselle a bit better. We were discussing my adjustment to being TB when I mentioned my height being the biggest adjustment.

“One of the hazards of being 8’3”, I’m always too big for the room.”

Giselle gave me a look, “You can always just will yourself shorter TB...”

I looked at her shocked, “What do you mean?”

Giselle smiled, “It’s my fault, that was one of the things I meant to tell you about years ago. Concentrate and you can decrease you height to around 6’6” and lower your weight as well. It’s sort of the same way you will the change, but slightly different.”

I closed my eyes and concentrated, “I’m not sure I can.”

Giselle touched my arm, “Picture what you want to do and focus your will.”