Chapter 6: Two Letters

Dearest Sean,

I can't believe it's already the middle of September! Junior year is going by so fast for me! On the other hand, it seems like a year since I was able to see you, to feel your presence next to me. I miss you so much! Christmas is an eternity away!

Homecoming is in about three weeks. Jaimie and I are going to babysit Kyle so that Stephen and Tara can go to the dance. And before you even say anything, NO!!! I WON'T go if you're not there with me. And Jaimie feels the same way, too. Even though Jake is a lot closer, he still can't come home very often. He's got a game nearly every weekend, too, so it's hard for him to leave.

Oh, I didn't tell you! Jake is playing rugby instead of football. He says it's kind of like football, only without pads. He says it's an English game, or Australian, or something. It sounds too rough to be English to me. Don't they play, like, cricket, or badminton, or something? Anyway, rugby sounds kind of rough, but he really likes it. He can tackle and block like in football. He says it's especially fun when the field is muddy. Yuck!

My recreational soccer team is doing pretty well. We won our last two games, and our coach is going to sign us up for that tournament you took the Warriors to the last couple of years. I hope we do well! Wish us luck!

I got a fun call yesterday! Since Molly is away at school, and she knows I'm just sitting at home moping about you being away (just kidding!) Lori Wilkinson - oops, I mean Lori McMasters! - anyway, Lori called and asked if I would be their main babysitter. I said I would, and my first babysitting job for them is this Friday night. Those boys are so much fun! I'll bet they miss you almost as much as I do, lover.

Can I confess something to you? God, I hope my mother doesn't find this before I can mail it. Sometimes, at night, I lie awake and remember how you touch me. I just can't help it, because I know my memories are all I have until you come home. Some nights I just can't sleep, and I run my fingers slowly up and down my thighs, across my tummy, and around my boobs, trying to tease myself the same way you like to tease me. My boobs especially are so tender and achy from wanting to feel your lips on them, I have to pinch my nipples to give myself some temporary relief. It just isn't the same as when you do it though, Sean my love. Just the thought of your fingers and your tongue teasing me, caressing me in the most sensitive of spots, makes me light-headed.

And the rest of me - oh, Sean, I get so wet just thinking of you as I lie in my bed, in the dark, with nothing but my pictures of you and my thoughts of your hands and your kisses. The way you touch me so lovingly, and yet you can be so hard and forceful when you need to be, it just makes me weak in the knees even thinking about it now, here in study hall! What would old Miss Epstein say if she could read this??

Please don't think I'm evil, Sean, just because I have these funny thoughts. I knew I would miss you terribly, but I never thought I would have these physical cravings for you! It's like I have a rash, and only feeling your naked body on top of mine will cure me. Help, I think I need a hot injection of Porter Love! giggle

Oh my God, I can't believe I actually wrote that! But I won't scratch it out. No secrets between us, Sean, ever. That's my promise to you. One of my promises to you.