Chapter 59

I skipped my morning shower. I needed to think and working out gave me lots of time to think. I did my normal weight session before I headed out for my run. At the far end of my usual three mile route I decided to go farther. I ended up running nearly to the village of Intercourse before I turned south and headed down Queen Road to get home again.

Mom had two excellent questions for me. Did I love Penny? Yes, I did – always and forever. I never stopped loving her when we broke up. Did Penny love me anymore? Before last night I would have said, 'No, she didn't; at least not any more than any of her good friends.' That changed last night.

Last night Penny and I had connected. It was far more than just sex. I knew recreational sex. I had done that many times. Last night was infinitely deeper, more meaningful than any experience I had ever had.

Julie and I – no, not even close. Kelly and I – yes, we came close to the feeling a couple times while we were a couple, but that was gone now. Any of the other twenty or so girls I had slept with? No, none came close to the experience Penny and I shared last night. I could not have mistaken Penny's feelings for me. She still loved me.

I was tired when I got home but convinced of two things – I loved Penny and she loved me. Mom said, 'Everything else is details.' Could the two of us work out the details?

I showered and dressed in clean clothes. A quick check on Google Map revealed I had run almost seven miles that morning. In spite of that, I felt great. I called the Horse Inn and made dinner reservations for seven o'clock. The horse stall dividers there would allow Penny and me to have an intimate conversation ... and of course the food was fabulous.

I spent the day thinking. Could Penny and I work out all the details? Why had we failed ... actually, why had I failed Penny the last time? Both of us had a tough start to college. We didn't have the support of a network of friends then. Both of us had roommate troubles. And then there was the big one – I drank too much and did stupid things.

I certainly had a great network of friends backing me up now. Trevor, Damian and Chip were fantastic roommates. I knew Penny got along well with the girl she shared an off-campus apartment with. Then there was drinking – I hadn't slain that beast entirely but I certainly had subdued it. Since my epiphany last spring I had gotten wasted one Saturday night. That was at Kelly's instigation and had been the spark that lit the fire that destroyed our relationship. Maybe I could manage not to do too many stupid things if I stayed sober.

By lunchtime I had reached one decision – I wanted to pursue a long term relationship with Penny. Now I had to figure out how I would convince her. I spent the rest of my afternoon formulating a plan.

Penny called about 5:30 on Friday night, just as my family was sitting down for the pizza that evening.

"Where do you want to go, Kyle?" Penny asked.

"We have reservations at the Horse Inn," I answered.

"The Horse Inn! That's too fancy, Kyle," Penny said. "It's not like this is a date or anything."

"Actually, this is a date, Penny," I countered. "After what we experienced together last night, we certainly can call dinner together a date."

"Kyle! We were a disaster as a couple before," Penny protested.

"Humor me," I said. "I think we owe each other a chance to talk things out."

"OK, I can do that, Kyle," Penny said.

"Dress nice for dinner," I said. "The food is exquisite. You will love this place."

"What time are our reservations?" Penny asked.

"Seven o'clock," I replied. "How about if I pick you up around 6:15?"

"That sounds fine, Kyle," Penny agreed.

I pulled in front of the Edwards house promptly at the appointed time. Penny met me at the front door. I escorted her to my car and helped her in. I hopped in and we headed for Lancaster.

"Well, what do you want to talk about, Kyle?" Penny asked. "I know you well enough to know you want to be my boyfriend again. I don't see how we can..."

"Hang on," I said. "Let's not rush things. We should enjoy dinner, relax and then we can talk about what last night means."

"OK, I promised I'll listen tonight," Penny replied. "What did your parents have to say when you came home this morning? Were you in trouble?"

"Surprisingly, I wasn't in trouble," I said. "I'll explain in more detail after dinner when we have our talk."

Penny and I kept our conversation light, sticking to school and reminiscing about all the good times we had in middle school and high school. I found a spot to park in the amusement company parking lot half a block from the restaurant. We walked to the alley entrance from there.

"This place is something else," Penny remarked as we went in the door off the alley and climbed the stairs to the restaurant. "I've never seen a classy restaurant where you went in a back door and climbed narrow steps to get to the second floor to get to the restaurant."

"The Horse Inn is an old horse barn," I explained. "It may be unconventional, but serves very good food."

The maître d' seated us at one of the booths with high walls as I requested. Penny and I would have plenty of privacy for our meal and discussion. I ordered mushroom caps stuffed with crab imperial for our appetizers. They were tasty.

Penny ordered the beef tenderloin tips that the Inn was famous for. I ordered their special, which combined the tips with a broiled crab cake. The food was good. The conversation was fun, though I could see Penny getting a little nervous as the meal went on. I understood. Our talk after we finished our dinner could be critical to our futures – at least I hoped it would be.

We were still eating our dessert when Penny started the conversation. "I know what you are going to ask, Kyle. You are going to suggest that we should start dating again. I think that would be a disaster. If..."

"Don't rush to judgment," I said. "I told you earlier that my Mom wasn't upset that I spent the night with you. Her reaction was more surprising than that. Not only was she not upset I spent the night with you, she said she 'saw this coming a mile away.' I suspect from your parents' reaction, they are thinking like my Mom."

"I think you're right," Penny agreed. "I didn't have a lot of time to talk with my parents but they certainly took it in stride finding you in my bed last night."

"My Mom had three questions she wants us to answer," I said. "Her first question was, 'Do you love her?' My answer is, I've always loved you and I always will love you – completely and totally."

"I know, but..." Penny started. I held up my hand to stop her.

"Listen to all of mom's advice before you make any decisions," I said. "Mom's second question was, 'Does she love you?' After the way we connected last night I think I know the answer to Mom's question." I stared into her eyes. "Do you still love me?"

"You're always going to be special to me, Kyle," Penny answered. "You were my first. You're right, we do connect with each other and last night did remind me of how special we can be together."

"So that is a yes?" I asked.

"I do love you, Kyle," Penny professed. " ... but that wasn't enough the last time. Remember what happened when we were freshmen. I can't go through that again. If we became a couple again, what would be different? The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing again and again and then expecting a different result. How would things be different? I am going to school in Philadelphia. You are two hundred miles away in the center of the state."

"I understand your concerns," I agreed. "I thought about this a lot today. Nearly everything is different from when we broke up before. Both of us had a hard time adjusting to college. Now we have circles of friends to support us. We didn't have that when we started college. I have great friends that have my back now. I know I can count on them. I know you have that too."

"I do have great friends on campus," Penny answered.

"Both of us had roommate troubles back then," I said. "Trevor, Damian and Chip are great roommates. I think you get along with your current roommate, don't you?"

"Yes, April is a great roommate," Penny said. "I'm very fortunate to share an apartment with her."

"Another thing that changed for me was that I finally realized I was drinking too much," I said. "It took a really ugly incident last April to make me realize that I couldn't drink the way I was. I would get drunk nearly every Saturday night. Every stupid thing I did in college was tied to my drinking, including the disastrous decision to break up with you. I got wasted a single time since my epiphany last spring and that was at Kelly's instigation. I've realized that I can be impulsive."

"No, kidding?" Penny teased. "I never would have guessed."

"Kelly fed that impulsive side and pushed me further," I explained. "That is why I want to be with you. You have always reined me in if I got a little carried away. I think our personalities complement each other. I think there are times when my ... um, adventurousness has been good for the two of us."

"That was put delicately," Penny said. "I can get too comfortable sometimes, stuck in a rut. You pushed me to take chances and do better. That is one of the good things we had together."

"Neither of us understood what it took to do college level work when we started freshmen year," I said. "Calculus nearly killed me academically my first semester. Since Coach Paterno helped me get organized, I have made Dean's List every semester and have been close to having straight A's. Aren't you doing well too?"

"I am. I have no choice. I don't get into veterinary school otherwise," Penny said. "All that you are saying may be true but it doesn't change that fact that we are two hundred miles apart. How do we have a relationship if we go months at a time without seeing each other?"

"We won't be apart for months," I retorted. "I was thinking we could exchange visits to each other's schools occasionally. I could come to Philly later this month before my spring practice starts. Practice includes scrimmages on Saturday mornings, so we have more time together if you came to State College then. I thought the Blue and White Game, our final scrimmage, would be a great time for you to come visit. All kinds of things are going on at campus and you can see me play, too."

"I've seen you play before," Penny said.

"Not in a setting like Beaver Stadium," I replied. "You have to catch a game there to understand. If you thought us playing in Hershey Stadium in the playoffs was great, you need to experience 107,000 people cheering your team. Anyway, it's only three weeks from the Blue & White Game until the semester is over. We can be together when the semester is over until I go to camp."

"It might work except for one problem," Penny demurred. "I don't keep a car on campus. It's too much of a hassle to find parking in Philly. I don't have a way to get up to your campus."

"But the train still runs from Philadelphia to Lancaster," I contended. "You can pick up your car from home and still be in State College Friday evening."

"OK, maybe we can make that work this spring," Penny conceded. "What happens when football season really starts?"

"I think the same plan can work in the fall," I replied. "Our first game is against Temple on Labor Day weekend. I don't remember if it is a home or away game. Either way, I can spend Saturday night through Monday afternoon in Philadelphia. I hope you can come up to State College and catch a couple games during the season. We'll have Thanksgiving together. I volunteered as an assistant coach for the Wolverines during their playoff run and I plan to do it again. The two of us could meet up here in Paradise after their games for the weekend. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, that may be possible, IF we decide to get together," Penny replied.

"The best news of all this is about my spring semester next year," I said. "Social Studies teachers at Penn State must student teach in either Philadelphia or Pittsburgh. You can guess where this eastern Pennsylvania resident chose to student teach. Nine months from now we can spend as much time together as we want."

I had been studying Penny's face the whole time I tried to sell her on my plan. At first I saw resistance to my proposal but her face gradually softened as I continued talking. Mention of spending next spring semester in Philly brought the first slight smile to her face.

"I truly believe we can overcome the 200 mile separation this year," I said. "Next year, we can be together. The last of Mom's three questions is probably the most important one. After I told her that I loved you and that I thought you loved me, Mom asked, 'What are you going to do about that?' I think she is trying to tell us that love requires work. Look at my parents' experience. They were high school sweethearts. Mom got pregnant by someone else, married him and had Will. In spite of all those challenges, my parents managed to get together and marry. Compared to them, all our problems have been trivial. Do you still love me? What are we going to do about it?"

Penny stared at me and then took a deep breath. "You are my first love and you are always going to be special for that reason," Penny said. "It isn't as simple as you want to make it for me. I thought you were THE GUY when we were in high school, the guy I would spend my life with. You broke my heart when you cheated on me and then dumped me unceremoniously."

"Fair enough," I agreed. "I earned that. I wish there was a way I could go back and change that horrible week. Can you forgive me?"

"I already have," Penny said. "After getting over you I found Harrison. I thought we would build a life together. I was totally in love with him. Then he turned out to be a cheating, low life snake. I'm not over Harrison's treachery. Can you see why I'm leery of jumping into a relationship with anyone, especially someone who had cheated on me in the past? I just can't rush into a big decision based on one unintended night of passion."

"I guess this is one of those times when I'm displaying my impulsive side," I asked. "I guess you're reining me in when I get carried away. Is there no chance of us rekindling what we had? I felt a truly spiritual connection with you last night."

"I felt the connection too, Kyle," Penny said. "I'm not ready to make a commitment to you this quickly."

"Can we at least try and see if we can work things out?" I said. "I think my mom has good advice for us. If we love each other, we should try and work this out."

"I'm willing to give this a shot, Kyle," Penny replied. "We can take this one step at a time. We can exchange visits this semester and see where we are at in May after finals."

"Excellent!" I said, beaming. "I'm glad you will give me a final chance."

"Not so fast, Kyle," Penny cautioned. "I have not agreed to be your girlfriend. I'm not promising I won't date other people if I choose to. You should go out with others if you wish. All we're going to do is see if something more is possible."

"Fair enough," I agreed. "Miss Edwards, may I have the pleasure of your company tomorrow evening? Perhaps we could enjoy a movie together or go dancing." Penny chuckled at my mock formality.

"I would be honored to go dancing with you tomorrow evening, Mr. Martin," Penny replied.

Penny and I headed for home after dinner. Neither of us felt like going to a late movie and we had plans to go dancing Saturday night.

Saturday night Penny and I had burgers at Fuddruckers on the Lincoln Highway East before we hit the Green Iguana club. We spent a lot of the night dancing, with breaks for drinks and talking. We caught up with the details of the last two years of each other's lives. It was a nice night for two people trying to reconnect as a couple. In keeping with that intent, I had to settle for a quite voltaic good night kiss when I dropped Penny off at her house that evening. Each of us slept alone.

Penny came over to visit with me, Andy, the twins and Hunter on Sunday afternoon for a couple hours. We played with the boys awhile until it was time for their naps. We watched a movie after that. My cell phone rang just as the movie was ending.

"Hello, Kyle Martin," I said as I answered the phone.

"Hey Coach, this is Charlie Taylor," the voice said. "My car won't start. I was wondering if I could catch a ride back to campus with you today?"

"Sure, no problem," I agreed. "How about if I pick you up at seven?"

"Sounds good, Coach," Charlie answered. "Thanks for doing me this favor."

"It's what friends are for," I replied before we ended the call.

"Was that Christian asking for a ride?" Penny asked.

"No, it was Charlie Taylor," I replied.

"I guess I need to start paying attention to who is on your team," Penny said. "I know Christian, Trevor, Chip and Shawn, but that's it."

"You remember my other roommate, Damian, don't you?" I said. "He's the big running back that gave the Wolverines such problems in the state championship game when we were in eleventh grade."

"Him? OK, I remember," Penny said. "He did end up at Penn State, didn't he?"

"Damian has been my roommate since I had my meltdown freshmen year," I said. You'll like him when you meet him. He's a great guy."

"I'm looking forward to meeting your friends and teammates," Penny said. "I guess I should get going. I need to finish packing and Daddy wants to leave immediately after dinner tonight."

"This week together has been wonderful," I said as Penny got her coat on. " ... especially Thursday night. I guess since we're dating again, I'll keep in closer touch than I have the past couple years. Would a phone call or e-mail a couple times a week be too much? I know we're not a couple and daily contacts would be too much."

"A couple times a week sounds about right, Kyle," Penny said. "I enjoyed this week too. I'm glad we're trying to see if we can be a couple again." Penny gave me a hug before we exchanged kisses on the lips. When she released me she added, "I guess I'll see you in a couple weeks. Bye boys, it's been fun spending time with you."

"Bye" or "Bye, Penny" followed from the three boys, playing together again after the afternoon naps. I escorted Penny to the door. We exchanged hugs and a more romantic kiss than had been appropriate in front of the young boys.

I felt pretty great when Penny had to leave. She was openly discussing things we would do together as a couple in the future. I thought I had a real shot at winning her back, assuming I didn't do anything stupid to screw it up.

Mom did a nice dinner as a sendoff for Andy and me before we headed back to college. Charlie was in a good mood when I picked him up. He had met up with an old girlfriend this week too and had a good time. Charlie and I talked about the football team and our expectations for spring practice. I dropped him off in front of his dorm and found a parking space for myself near the Nittany Community Center.

"What in hell were you doing on spring break?" Trevor bellowed when I got in the front door to our apartment. "That is all Tammy and Kathy could talk about Friday evening after they got a call from Penny. Are the two of you really hooked up again?"

"We're going to date," I replied. "We're not a couple ... yet."

"You certainly created a stir in your circle of friends Friday," Trevor said. "They were saying, 'He slept with her!', 'They're talking about going together again!' and 'What is she thinking?' You missed all the fun we had down south but you didn't have a dull spring break."

"Are you really going to go back to your high school squeeze?" Chip asked. "Do you really want to be tied down?"

"Of course I do, if she'll have me," I replied. "Anyway, I would think you are beginning to understand. Aren't you looking forward to seeing Claire again?"

"Yeah, I guess," Chip said. "South Beach was fun but I am looking forward to seeing Claire tomorrow."

"So you do understand," I said. "I have always loved Penny. Now I am getting a chance to fix the biggest blunder I have made in my life. She's giving me another chance and I won't blow it."

"I understand, Coach," Trevor said. "When you find the right girl, you go after her."

"How was Panama City Beach?" I asked. "What did I miss?"

Trevor told us about what he, Stephanie, Jeremy, Kathy, Hal, Tammy, Ed, Eric, Brandon and their companions did the past week. Scuba, water park, dancing at clubs, drinking back at camp – it all sounded familiar. Chip told us about what he, his friend Austin and their friends from home did in South Beach. Damian and I were the only ones who spent a quiet week at home.

Scott Henderson reviewed my plans for my lecture on the Spanish-American War the next day. I showed him the pictures I had taken of the Olympia and the New Jersey over break. Scott agreed that it would be good to post my photos on the bulletin board today so our students could look them over after my lecture. I would put up what I originally planned for the bulletin board in a few days.

I found a seat beside Molly when I got back to campus for our Adolescent Development course. I knew I needed to tell Molly about me trying to win back Penny. I knew we weren't a couple but I felt I owed her an explanation since we had dated almost constantly for the past month.

She gave me a slight smile as I sat down beside her.

"Did you have fun during break?" I asked. Molly tensed a bit before she spoke.

"Break was good," Molly replied. She completely dropped the smile. "We need to have a talk, Kyle."

"OK," I agreed. Molly took the words right out of my mouth.

"You know how we agreed two weeks ago that we wouldn't have a serious relationship?" Molly began. I nodded my agreement. "I met a really great guy down in Florida. We spent a few nights together. I hope that doesn't bother you, Kyle. I enjoy dating you and consider you a good friend."

Molly stared at me, trying to read my reaction for a few seconds. I smiled.

"Relax," I answered. "We didn't make a commitment to be faithful to each other. We're free to see whoever we wish."

"That's a relief, Kyle," Molly said as her smile returned. "I enjoy dating you. I'm glad my spring break fling doesn't bother you. I enjoy our dates."

"I'm afraid you aren't the only one who had a spring break fling," I said. "I got together with my high school sweetheart."

"That's nice," Molly said.

"She and I want to explore the possibility of a long term relationship," I said. "I enjoyed dating you but if Penny and I are going to have a fair chance, the two of us can't date anymore. I hope you can still be my friend."

Oh ... um ... I guess," Molly answered, her smile gone again.

"I know this is kind of sudden," I added. "You're a great girl and someday you're going to make some lucky guy very happy. Both of us know that I'm not going to be that guy."

"Yes ... yes, you're right, Kyle," Molly said as she collected her thoughts. "You're right. I guess being friends makes sense."

Molly had agreed with my suggestion but she didn't seem to have a strong conviction. I was serious about remaining Molly's friend, so I would have to demonstrate that to her by being her friend.

I was excited Tuesday morning when I showed up at school. I used some of my pre-game relaxation techniques during home room to mentally prepare myself. Ms. Hamilton showed up to observe. Scott took roll for the first period class and then turned things over to me.

I talked about the origins of the Spanish-American War and how William Randolph Hearst, Joseph Pulitzer and the rest of the "Yellow Press" whipped up war frenzy against the Spanish. President McKinley resisted their calls as long as possible. The explosion of the cruiser Maine in the Havana harbor made war inevitable. I told the kids how modern science had determined that the Maine had suffered an internal explosion, most likely due to a buildup of coal dust in her bunkers.

My PowerPoint presentation included photos of the headlines touting the Spanish infamy at blowing up our ship, popular engravings of the explosion and subsequent headlines calling for war. I went through the story of the war, paying particular attention to Commodore Dewey and Battle of Manila Bay.

Theodore Roosevelt added color to the account. As assistant navy secretary he put the fleet to war footing while the Navy Secretary was away. A few days later, after war was declared he resigned his subcabinet position to fight. He raised a regiment of volunteer cavalrymen from his Dakota cowboy friends and Ivy League classmates. TR recruited a professional soldier to lead his regiment. TR assumed the position of lieutenant colonel.

Roosevelt's political pull got his regiment included in the expedition to Cuba. Two months later he's commanding the regiment outside Santiago de Cuba after his colonel was promoted to brigade command. TR and his regiment sat under fire on July 1st at the base of the San Juan Heights.

The impatient colonel ordered his regiment forward without authorization from his corps commander. The 10th Cavalry, the African-Americans known as the Buffalo Soldiers, along with the white 3rd Cavalry Regiment charged ahead too. The 24th and 25th Colored Infantry Regiments on their left also charged ahead. The five regiments slogged up the steep sides of San Juan and Kettle Hills under intense fire. Fighting Joe Wheeler, the old ex-Confederate and acting corps commander, ordered the rest of the troops to support the unexpected success. By nightfall San Juan Heights was in American hands and the garrison of Santiago de Cuba was trapped.

The Spanish flotilla stationed in Santiago de Cuba sortied two days later, trying to break through the American naval blockade. Two hours of fighting reduced the fleeing Spanish ships to sinking, blazing hulks along the southern coast of Cuba.

I told the kids about the final campaign of the war, where General Nelson Miles led the troops occupying Puerto Rico against slight opposition. The United States found itself in position of holding Puerto Rico, the Philippines, Guam, and temporarily, Cuba.

I finished up the lecture with a ten minute discussion of the war and its consequences. I asked the students to draw parallels to other events. One of the students suggested that the events in 1898 were similar to 2003 and our war in Iraq. This suggestion produced a spirited discussion that lasted until the end of the period.

I was pleased with the results from my lecture. I had a good grasp of the material, I covered everything in the lesson plans, I thought I presented the material well and I was delighted to have provoked a thoughtful discussion at the end of the period.

Ms. Hamilton and Scott met with me in the back of the room after the students left for second period. I was shocked when they spent twenty minutes critiquing my work. They reminded me of my frequent use of 'um', 'uh', 'like' and 'you know.' I had turned my back on the class too often as I lectured. I wasn't conscious of all the mistakes I made as I gave my lecture. I guessed it showed, too.

"You know, Kyle, your effort was pretty good for a first time," Scott said as we concluded. "Don't be down about what Ms. Hamilton and I are saying about your work."

"Mr. Henderson is correct," Ms. Hamilton added. "You gave a credible first lecture. The reason teachers go through the pre-service program and then student teaching is that it is difficult to learn to give top quality instruction."

"I guess," I replied. "I thought I was better at this than I really am. I'll do better next time."

"That's good, Kyle," Scott said. "You are doing your next lecture next Tuesday, fourth period. You will be talking about Napoleon, the siege of Toulon, a 'whiff of grape' and Napoleon's first Italian campaign."

"OK, I'll get better prepared for next time," I said.

"Good, I'll get you copies of my notes for that lecture tomorrow morning," Scott said.

I knew I had more work to prepare for this next lecture. I knew Napoleon Bonaparte had commanded the artillery during the French siege of Toulon in 1793. I was familiar with Napoleon's successful campaign against the Austrians in northern Italy in 1796-1797. I had absolutely no idea what Scott was talking about when he said I would include 'a whiff of grape' in the lecture.

Ms. Hamilton let me know that my formal mid-term conference to discuss my progress would be at 9:00 am next Monday morning. Mr. Pietruccha, the vice principal, would cover the second period study hall for Scott while we did my formal evaluation.

I consciously worked at avoiding the errors I made first period when I repeated the lecture to my other U. S. History section. I think the lecture went better. I couldn't get the students involved in the discussion at the end of the period the way the first period class had done. Scott told me after third period that I had done better with the second lecture.