Chapter 19

I awoke to a soft kiss on my lips. Tori-llia kissed me, then slipped out of bed. She bent over and kissed me again.

"I ... love ... you," she whispered haltingly, struggling to express herself in a strange language. She rattled off a string of incomprehensible words, but the meaning was clear; she wanted me to stay there with Julie. She gave me that lovely 'Victoria' smile and quietly left the room. Victoria had already left before I woke up.

I turned over and snuggled up behind Julie, holding my pretty little friend close to me. She smiled and murmured softly.

"I love you," she whispered in her sleep. I smiled and kissed her cheek. She cuddled closer. I sighed.

I slipped my hand between her legs, finding her wet already. I wondered what she was dreaming about. I grinned as I thought about a favorite fantasy of mine.

I slipped slowly, steadily inside her. She gave a little gasp in her sleep as I filled her completely, then I rested a moment. Her smooth little butt felt so good flush against my groin.

I made love to Julie as she slept. I paced myself, stopping whenever I was ready to come, determined to achieve two goals. The first was to not wake her up. The second goal was to make her come in her sleep. I thought it would be so sexy to make love to a sleeping girl, making her come in her sleep. I wasn't sure it was likely, or even possible, but I was going to try. To be successful at that, we had to come together, or at least she had to come before me. Otherwise, she would wake up too soon.

It was possible. It took about 20 minutes of stopping and starting, whispering soothing words in her ear to help her go back to sleep on the occasions she almost woke up, but it finally happened. I heard her give a soft little squeak, and she started trembling all over. My groin was suddenly very wet as her juices flowed. I felt her clamping down on me, squeezing me tight. The excitement and sensuousness of it was too much and I pushed deeply up into her, coming myself. I heard her cry out while still asleep.

"Oh God, I love you so much, Pattycakes," she murmured. I kissed her neck, holding her tight, tears in my eyes. I sighed; I wondered.

Later I slipped into the kitchen and found something to eat. I had just sat down when a little bundle of redheaded joy climbed onto my lap.

It's funny, Lisa and Lori look so much alike, no one outside our family can ever tell them apart. I've never had any trouble with that. I just know which is which. Someone asked me once how I knew; I couldn't tell them, because I didn't know. I just could. I knew this was Lori.

Lori snuggled up to me in my lap and laid her head on my chest, her arms around my neck. It made it hard to eat, but I wasn't complaining. I didn't get to hold Lori like this often. She was still for so long I thought she had gone to sleep.

"I love you, Daddy," she whispered, so softly I wasn't sure at first I had heard her right. I was surprised. I wasn't sure if that was the first time she had told me that since Amanda died, but I couldn't remember another time. Lori had never been very talkative since then, so it was easy to remember every conversation we had down through the years. There were not many, and it had been a lot of years. I hugged her close and decided to get something off my chest.

"Lori ... honey ... I never would have left your Mother there to die if I had a choice. If I'd known she wasn't planning on following us through, wild horses couldn't have dragged me away from her side. I just didn't know, honey. I loved her more than life itself, and I never would have left her there to die if I could've helped it. I had to make sure everyone else was safe, and she said she was right behind me. I even tried to go back for her, but I couldn't. I'm sorry you hate me for letting her die. I'm sorry because the reality is that I did let her die; I killed her, as surely as if I had shot her myself. I can never forgive myself. Please, Lori ... I just don't think I can take it, losing you too.

"Please forgive me," I whispered, my eyes filled with tears. God, how she must be hurting, and how she must have suffered all these years.

Lori's eyes snapped open in shock and her mouth dropped open in disbelief and shame.

"Oh Daddy ... is that what you think, that I hate you and blame you for her death? I never blamed you, Daddy. I knew what she did, better than anyone; I was the last one there with her. I knew you did your best. I never blamed you, and I never, could never, hate you.

"We haven't talked much since then because ... oh shit, Daddy, I don't know how to explain it without sounding awful. There's no way to say it without hurting your feelings, and regardless of what you may think, I do love you and don't want to hurt you," she whispered.

"It's ok, Lori, just say it bluntly. I'll let you pretty it up later," I said, kissing the top of her head.

"I ... it's just that ... Mom and I, we were so special together. It was like she was my twin, only closer. I was closer to her than I was to Lisa. We didn't read each other's minds ... we just looked into our own and found the other one there. I loved you, Daddy, but you weren't Mom. You could never replace her. You couldn't make it all better when she was gone. You could for Lisa, because you two were close almost like Mom and I were, but you couldn't for me. When Mom died, it just left a big empty hole that not even Lisa could fill. You had no chance to fill it."

She looked at me with big sad eyes.

"I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings. You have your Amy, I had my Mom. Not quite the same way, of course ... but neither can ever be replaced." She smiled sweetly, blushing furiously. "Well, maybe Julie could replace Amy for you, but I had nobody. I learned later that wasn't true; Lisa could fill that spot. But it took a lot of years to get there. If she hadn't wiped my mind, I would have never gotten there."

She looked at me guiltily.

"Please, Daddy, don't be offended. I love you deeply; I only wish I were old enough to show you how much. But ... you aren't Mom, and that's what I needed. I'm sorry," she whispered miserably, sure that she had offended me.

Little girls are so precious. She had lost her Mom, her Life-mate in affect (could Life-mates be the same sex? No one had ever asked that question before) and she was worried about hurting my feelings. So sweet, so different from the Qerda-inspired terrorist I had seen before. There was only one answer to her misery. I knew what it was.

I tickled her. At first she tried desperately to maintain the fierce, determined expression on her face, but it wasn't long before she dissolved into little girl giggles. I was relentless. Finally, she hugged me close, unable to move, and gasped.

"Please stop! I'm gonna..."

Yeah, yeah, I know. The secret weapon. For a moment, I actually thought to keep going, to see if it was really true. Messy, though. I stopped.

"Wha ... what was that for?" Lori whined. The glow on her face told me she had enjoyed it, even if she did almost...

"For being stupid ... and silly ... and ridiculous ... and such a dumb little kid," I said severely.

Her eyes widened. 'Dumb little kid?' I heard her mind screech.

"Dumb little kid?" she shrieked again as she punched me in the stomach, supposedly playfully. Maybe I needed to remind her I wasn't a Qerda. Maybe that's why she hated them so ... had they called her a dumb little kid? Oh wait ... there was a little matter concerning her mother. I suddenly felt sad, for her and me. She reached up and touched my cheek softly, knowing what I was feeling, what I was thinking.

"Yeah. Only a dumb little kid would think I would be offended because she had a special relationship with her Mom. It would more likely offend me if you had let me replace your Mom so causally." I kissed her nose. "I'm not offended, silly. I loved your Mom too, honey, more than you can ever know ... well, maybe not more than you could know, but you know what I mean."

I saw the tears in her eyes. More than anyone, Lori understood what losing Amanda had meant to me. In that way, she and I were connected forever.

She hugged me fiercely. No more words were needed. We just hugged each other for a long, long time.

Lisa wandered in sometime in the middle of Lori and I loving each other in the only way we could. I saw the surprise on her face, then the delighted smile break out as she watched her two favorite people in the world snuggled together. She slipped up behind Lori and hugged us both. Lori looked startled, then ... guilty?

"Lisa ... I ... I..."

"Don't be silly, Lori. I know you love him. I'm glad you finally remembered that. This isn't a contest, love him or me. I love him too, you know," she admonished her twin.

Lori sighed in frustration.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know how you guys do it," she said.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Share each other. You've had practically every girl in the house and it doesn't bother Megan or Amy at all. None of them gets upset. I ... just don't understand. I feel guilty, like now, when I'm with you. It's like I'm stealing you from them, and then I feel bad that Lisa knows I love you, like I'm betraying her."

"I know. You never did understand, Lori. The only reason you were able to get together that way with Dad, Mom, and me was when she was there. You were always more ... well, human that way, almost monogamous. You and Amy were always different from the rest of us in that regard," Lisa replied. Then she looked sad and embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry, Lori. I didn't fully realize that. Had I understood completely, what happened with Derek would never ... I thought it was ok ... it wouldn't have bothered me..."

Lori silenced her.

"It's ok, Lisa. I knew how all of you were. I should have understood that you didn't know how I would feel ... it's over, and at least he had a good time just before he died in the battle. I often wondered if he really believed he was with the other twin. I was always playing jokes on him. He may have thought this was another one, that it was really me."

I watched as the girls said a lot more to each other nonverbally. I was reeling as I considered what they had just implied. Had Lisa really stolen Derek from Lori, even for a short time? How could Lisa do that? I didn't know either of them were romantically involved with him, but even I knew Lori didn't know how to share when it came to males. How could Lisa do that to her twin? How could she not know how that would devastate Lori? Lisa was smarter than that ... wasn't she? Could a mind reader miss something that important with her own twin? I guess we all made mistakes sometimes.

When Lori moved over so Lisa could sit on my lap also, I knew everything was all right between them. When Lori snuggled up to me again, I knew we were ok too.

"You are so going to be in trouble in a few years," Lisa whispered to me. Lori giggled, blushed, and gave me a sloppy, wet, little girl kiss on my cheek. They snuggled a little longer, then jumped down and ran out of the room. It was cartoon time. Hugging Daddy was one thing, but cartoons were another altogether.

I was alone again, eating my breakfast undisturbed, when Dad walked in. We had finished talking so late last night that he stayed the night. Now here was a person I really wanted to talk to. I had questions.

"Hi, Dad; I'm glad you're here. There are some questions I want to ask you, mostly about the attack in the park."

"I thought you might, Son. I'm surprised you waited this long, but then you've been a little busy. Are you sure you want to go into this now? As soon as those darling girls of yours get up, you have a rescue mission to undertake."

"We can start, and finish it later," I replied.

"Ok, what do you want to know? I'll tell you what I can."

"Meaning there are things you can't, or won't, tell me?" I asked.

"There are things I can't tell you, as I don't know everything. There may be things I won't tell you, although I doubt it, but I won't know for sure until you ask the questions."

Dad was being evasive; thirty-seven years taught me to recognize that. Well, I would never know if I didn't ask.

"Larelle mentioned something about us being able to remake the entire matrix of an interplanar dimension at will. What was she referring to? Where did those men come from, and how did they get here? What is the crystal globe that you and Elizabeth have both used? What is the Phoenix? How did you destroy everything in sight, yet have it all come back moments later? How is it that Elizabeth is so powerful when she's given up her powers? Let's start first with those questions."

Dad's eyes opened wide in surprise.

"Elizabeth has a crystal ball? That's interesting," he murmured to himself.

"What is it, and how could the Ancient Prophecy not know that Elizabeth has one too?"

"The crystal ball was given to me by Amanda shortly before the attack on Planet # 3. I wasn't told what it was; only that I would know how to use it the first time I needed it. After that, I would be able to use it at will. Son, you have to understand; the Ancient Prophecy came to my attention about the time of the destruction of Planet #3. Before that, I was just your father. It was designed to save our people and bring us back home. It's a master plan for that. As long as I'm alive, that master plan is in operation. I can't interfere. I can only guide, and not even much of that. It just happens, as the plan dictates. I'm merely the keeper.

"What I'm telling you, Son, is that I only know those things directly connected with that plan. Apparently Elizabeth's crystal ball is outside that plan.

"Son, Amanda was very powerful, in ways beyond our comprehension. One of her powers was an almost perfect read of the future; a power she had in common with Elizabeth. It's obvious, looking back, that she knew she would die. I don't know if she knew when or where, but her actions indicate that she may have. I believe she gave me the crystal ball to protect us when needed after she was gone. I can only surmise that she gave one to Elizabeth for the same reason. It's likely Amanda had one too. My own personal belief, not encumbered in any way by any facts or data, is that Amanda was one, maybe the source of all of them. That's only a guess."

The image of Amanda surrounded by a crystal ball as she prepared to destroy the Qerda fleet flashed into my mind. It was consistent with Dad's guess.

"How was Amanda able to be killed, if she had all this power? She had the power to destroy the Qerda fleet, yet they killed her? How? Why?" I asked. That question had haunted me since I heard the story.

"I don't know. Do you want theories? The Qerda are very powerful, in many ways more powerful than we are. They also seem to know everything about us; our strengths, and weaknesses we are not aware of. Maybe they knew how to kill her. It's possible she let herself be killed, much like Elizabeth, to save us in some way. She would have done that if it was necessary. The fact that she gave me the crystal ball makes it clear she knew either she was going to die, or engineered her own death in some way. No one knows what really happened on that planet."

I interrupted him.

"That brings up another point. Before she left the last time, Elizabeth told me that she died, and can't come back permanently, because someone has a person she loves more than almost anyone in the world, and will kill them if she comes back. She must stay dead to protect them, except for occasional returns to help Cindi, connected with the necklace Cindi has. Do you know what she's referring to? Is there some way to help her in this?" I asked.

Dad's answer was chilling.

"Leave it alone, Son. If Elizabeth can't solve it, no one can. I don't know specifically what she is referring to, but that makes a lot of things make sense that didn't before."

"Who is it?" I asked. "Do you know?"

"That phrase, 'someone she loves more than almost anyone in the world' is a phrase she has used in reference to only one person. There's irrevocable proof that person is dead. I can only assume she knows, or thinks she knows, that they're not dead. It makes no sense. I hope she's not throwing her life away on a delusion," Dad said sadly.

"Who is that person?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, Son, but that's probably the one piece of information I can't tell you. It would violate a confidence, a promise I made. Leave it alone, Son," he repeated.

"You know I won't, Dad. If it's important to Elizabeth, it's important to me, and I will try to help her with it, even if she doesn't want me to. You can either help me or stay out of my way."

I regretted saying that as soon as it came out. It sounded much harsher than I intended. Dad smiled in understanding.

"I will help if I can, as much as I can, without violating my promise to her. But are you sure you want to help? What if it reveals that you are not the love of her life, that there is someone more important to her than you? What if it means, if you are successful, that you lose her to that person? Can you handle that?" Dad asked.

"I lost her a long time ago, Dad. I lost her the first time she didn't come home, took extra duty instead of coming home to the kids and me. I lost her when she died. If this person really exists, whether they're alive or not, then the fact is I never had her to start with. I don't have her now. She blows in now and then, and guess what? She blows in for Cindi, not for me. I'm glad she does, but what does losing her mean to me? It happened long ago. It's time to move on."

I had a bad taste in my mouth. I had just lied to my Dad, something I couldn't remember doing before; not a direct, deliberate lie. The possibility he suggested would hurt me, but this was about helping Elizabeth, giving her what she wanted. She deserved it.

Dad looked at me and sighed sadly, knowingly. I never could fool him. He returned to answering the questions.

"The crystal ball is a conduit to an energy source. I don't know what that source is, but I know it is extremely powerful, and I could make an educated guess what it is. No, I won't tell you my guess; you can make your own guess. The ball amplifies and focuses that energy. You can do almost anything with it, use it in almost any way. It's the most powerful force I have seen. It should have been enough to defeat the Qerda, but it wasn't. That scares me. Why? Was it not enough, or was it just not fully used?" Dad rubbed his eyes, as if he were tired.

I knew it was used; I had seen it surrounding Amanda's body. I also knew it was enough; I had seen that energy pouring out of Victoria into Amanda. I saw Amanda carving up the Qerda fleet like a Thanksgiving turkey with it. I knew where that energy came from, what it represented. Nothing in the universe could hold up to that power. The conclusion: either Amanda deliberately let the Qerda kill her at Planet # 3 for some unknown reason of her own, or the Qerda were an unbeatable force and we were doomed. But then, why hadn't they finished us off already? Why leave us alone for so long? Why were they playing with us now, trying to draw us into some kind of trap? There were only two reasons I could think of; they didn't know where to find us, or they needed us on their territory, to neutralize our power. Neither reason sounded like infinite power to me.

There was something, some part of this that I was missing; something that made it all stick together and make sense. Usually, I just couldn't put my finger on the answer in cases like this. It was so near, yet unattainable, and a little thought would bring it out. This time, I didn't have the slightest idea what the missing part was. I didn't even know the right questions to ask. Time to move on to the next subject.

"What is the Phoenix? I assume it's connected somehow with remaking the entire matrix of an interplanar dimension at will. What does it mean?"

I barely got the question out of my mouth when all the girls walked in together. One look at their faces, and the way Victoria, Megan, and Amy were dressed and I knew they were on a mission.

"Time to go, Dad. Now," Amy said in that totally serious, no argument way that only teenagers can manage. This was a crisis, at least to her. Before I could answer, Megan touched my arm to get my attention.

"We have to rescue those girls, now. There is no more time," she said.

"Explain," I asked tersely.

"Remember the link I had with Angela? I've managed to open a much lesser one with one of the girls in this batch; just general feelings and emotions is all I get. Something is about to happen. They are in grave danger of being killed shortly. We must go now," Megan said calmly. Her 'know everything' eyes were glowing deep purple. Deep purple in Megan's eyes meant two things. Listen to her, it's urgent, was the first thing. The second thing it meant was that she was never wrong.

"She's right. We have to go now," Julie said.

"Ok, then let's do it. Amy, Victoria, get the weapons. Sarah, Jessica, prepare to teleport us. Lisa, patch the coordinates into them. Becky, Cindi, get ready; you two and Amy are first in with me. Katie, take down the police computers and communications in the area. I don't want to be watching out for friendlies. Dad, call the President and let him know we're going to be playing in his backyard. We owe him that. Sammi, get the picture of Christopher's sister from Becky and see if you can detect her; it will be easier if we know exactly where she is. Kim and Heather, you stay here with Lori, Lisa, and Tori-llia. Eric, come with me. John, Robert, Rhonda, stay back here and guard the house. There is a distinct possibility this is a trap. I don't want to teleport back into danger."

The three marines were not happy with their assignment, but they understood the importance of it. They understood how important it was to the girls to be a part of this. They understood, but it didn't mean they liked it.

My orders were fine, but no good battle plan survives the first contact with the enemy ... or with Lori.

"No way, Dad. Lisa and I are coming with you this time. We're tired of being left behind. We're not little kids anymore," Lori demanded.

I raised my eyebrows cryptically as I looked at the six year old professing her grown up status, trying not to grin. Katie giggled. Sammi rolled her eyes. Lisa tried not to laugh at her sister. She was successful ... mostly.

Lori looked embarrassed as she realized what she had said.

"Ok, we are little kids but ... we're not. We want to be part of this. We're not normal kids. We can take care of ourselves."

Sigh. Why was nothing simple? I didn't want them to go, but Lori was showing an interest in something. That hadn't happened for a long while. It wouldn't be good to discourage her. Besides, she was right. They weren't novices at this, just in these bodies.

"Fine. Lori, Lisa, go with Kim and Heather. Look out for each other, and for Tori-llia. Sarah, Jessica, after you get us in, stay with them and be prepared to teleport out the hostages at a moment's notice if necessary. And Lori ... behave yourself or I'll paddle your little butt when we get home. I don't have time to deal with you going all Qerda-killer on us if we find some there. Obey me and behave or you'll be thirty before you go on another mission with us. Kapisch?"

How did I guess Lori was going to stick her tongue out at me?

Amy leaned over and stage whispered in her ear.

"Guess what? He means it. Even if you sweet talk him out of it, you'll deal with me if you endanger this mission."

Lori crossed her eyes, then snapped out of it as she saw the look Julie shot her way.

"Yes, ma'am," she replied quietly. Amy kissed her on the top of her head and ruffled her hair. Lori smiled meekly.

"Let's go, girls; we're running out of time," I said. Teenage girls scattered like ants.

Moments later they were all back in the living room. All of them were dressed alike, in dark blouses and dark pants. I remembered the first time I saw Amy and Victoria dressed like that. It made my heart jump. I saw the complete understanding in Megan and Amy's eyes as I walked over and kissed my sister.

What began as a heated kiss quickly turned into a passionate one. I loved Victoria completely. It was slightly different from Megan, but much the same also. I hugged her tightly as I remembered what she was, the secret I held back from her. I knew I would be a big part of her life when she found out what I knew, what had been hidden from her. I remembered how devastating it had been long ago when she discovered her identity the first time. I knew I would be there for her when the time came. I could see in Megan and Amy's eyes that they knew something was going on. The trust they beamed at me told me they would support me in whatever Victoria needed.

Dear, sweet Lisa. She tapped me gently, insistently on my back until we broke apart.

"Later, Dude," she giggled. "It's not like you're never going to see her again."

I froze. I hoped Lisa had not just jinxed us. I quickly smiled, to keep her from realizing what she had said. I knew I would take special care in protecting Victoria today. I mentally shuffled the battle order, putting Victoria with me and moving Becky over with Katie. The twins would somehow end up together anyway.

We were ready to go. I saw the fire smoldering in the girls' eyes and I knew I had probably started something that would keep me awake all night. I could think of worse ways to lose sleep ... or to die.

We were ready. We held hands, preparing for the ceremony. Then Sarah and Jessica showed me just how wise they were.

"Lori, do you love us?" they asked in unison.

Lori looked stunned. She couldn't believe it; she was being included in the family, being used as the activator of our power! She looked directly at Julie.

"God, I love you guys," she whispered, crying.

"Lori, do you trust us?' Sarah and Jessica continued solemnly.

"Yes. Absolutely. Completely. Forever. I am yours; do with me as you wish. I trust you all," Lori babbled, looking at Sammi this time. I saw the tears in Sammi's eyes as she realized the depth of Lori's apology. There were a lot of wet eyes in the room. Little Lori had crossed a threshold, a line in the sand. She was healing.

Sarah and Jessica leaned over and kissed Lori on the cheek. There was a flash of silver and gold, tinged with incandescent pink, and we were outside a building.

That was interesting. Incandescent pink was Lori's color.

It was time to go to work. I watched as the girls moved fluidly, confidently around the area. We were in our environment. The Tarqa were born to be fighters, and we knew now that we were all Tarqa. I handed out assignments, even though they knew what to do. They looked at me gratefully, smiling with patient amusement. This was my job, and even though they didn't need it, it soothed them, kept them calm. Daddy was in charge now, and everything would work out just fine.

Ok, maybe not everything.

"Amy, Cindi, Victoria, stay with me; we'll go in the front door. Becky, Katie, take the side exit. Megan, Sammi, the back. Julie, stay back with the other girls. Try to link with Christopher's sister Katie for us. Sarah, Jessica, get ready to teleport if needed. Use Lori if you need her. We go in one minute," I commanded.

Lori beamed with pride. She had a job! Even better, Daddy had noticed that she had helped with the teleporting. Lisa smothered her giggle at her sister's obvious pride. She looked at me with eyes full of love, thanking me for involving her troubled twin.

"Patrick!" Megan said urgently in my mind. "Something's happening in there. Energy levels and panic just went through the roof. We have to go now! They're going to kill them!"

"Oh my God!" Megan gasped.

Julie interrupted before Megan could continue.

"There's something you need to know before we go in there, Patrick," Julie said calmly.

As if we needed something else.

"What is it now?" I asked sarcastically.

"There's one like us in there. He or she masks it well, so well that I can't tell if they're male or female, but they're there, and they have powers of sorts," Julie explained.

Wonderful. What else could go wrong? Be careful about what you ask; we would find out when we got in there.

So rapidly, I wasn't even sure if I saw it or not, there was a flash of light that surrounded Victoria, then it disappeared. It lasted only a millisecond. I saw an incandescent white glow for the same millisecond in her image in my mind, then it disappeared also. It appeared as if an energy spike had left her.

I didn't have time to ask about it before we heard the gunshots.

"Execute, execute, execute!" I sent the command into all their minds.

To avoid confusion: the Katie referred to in this section is Christopher's sister, Katie Carnahan, not Katie Costello, Becky's twin. Anytime Katie Costello is referred to, she will be called 'our Katie'.