Chapter 66

Sunday

I didn’t sleep well. I went to the front house around eight in the morning. The girls were still asleep, so I called Dad’s cell phone. I told him what had happened with Amy’s brother last night when he answered, and I listened as he told Mom. He asked how Amy was doing and I told him that she was still asleep. He said that was good as she was probably exhausted from worrying about her brother, and to let her sleep. He asked me to hang around the house in case Amy needed me, then he said that they would be home as soon as possible.

I asked him if he could do me a favor and pick up a clean white dove’s feather. He said he probably could, but wondered why I wanted something ‘so damn frivolous’ right now. I told him what Amy had said about Alec going to heaven, then explained my thinking. Dad sounded a little choked up when he said that he’d find a feather, then he said that he was proud of me, and hung up.

I went into the kitchen as quietly as I could, and started to make a three-egg omelet. I was just whisking it when I looked up and saw a sleepy-looking Erin watching me, so I threw a few more eggs in without asking. She started helping by doing things like pouring big glasses of milk and making toast. We ended up with a pretty good breakfast between the two of us. We sat down and talked about last night between bites of toast with peanut butter, but she kept looking at me strangely.

She finally said, “You guys, umm, did stuff when Kelly came over Saturday night, didn’t you, Petey?”

I was sort of expecting that she would ask, and I carefully chose my words. I asked, “What did Kelly say?”

“She said that all you guys did, was talk.”

“Then you should believe her. You should give her the benefit of the doubt even if you suspect that it isn’t true. That’s what friends are supposed to do.”

She sat there thinking about what I had said. Things were okay for a minute, then I could see that stubborn streak of hers take over, and she said, “But I’m asking YOU!”

“I love you, and I’ll never lie to you, Erin. You and I should be able to talk to each other about anything, but there are some questions that shouldn’t be asked unless there is a really good reason to ask them when other people are involved. Kelly is your best friend. It’s not fair of you to go around her back and ask someone else about it if she said that all we did was talk. Don’t you agree?”

She looked at me and frowned. Then she said, “Uhh, I guess so.”

I hadn’t lied to her, but I hadn’t answered her question. I wondered if it would come up again to myself.

I didn’t have to wonder for very long. Erin looked down at her cereal bowl for a little while, then spoke. “Umm, Petey?”

“Yeah?”

“I think that you’re forgetting something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“You forget how well Kelly and I know each other. Like you said, she’s my best friend. My very, very best friend. We talk about everything, and help each other with lots of stuff, like poetry and karaoke, so I know how she sounds when she talks, and when she’s not telling the truth. I knew that she was coming down with a sore throat even before she did the last time she got it.”

I could see where this was headed, and I began to worry.

Erin went on, “You know, that’s one of the reasons I helped her and Marie with their plan. You’re a nice guy and you don’t go around blabbing about your dates.” She frowned at me, “Even to your sister!”

“Uh, Erin, I...”

She interrupted, “That’s a good thing – I guess. But I’m kinda ticked off at Kelly. She must think that I’m stupid or something.”

This was getting out of hand, and I didn’t know what to do. I thought that I’d try to redirect how things were going, so I asked, “Why did you help them with their plan?”

“Because Kelly was driving both Marie and me crazy. She told us what almost happened in Big Bear over and over again, and that she was bound and determined that you were going to be her first.”

The next words out of my mouth were a mistake, but I didn’t realize it until after I’d said them. “You know that we would never have had sex if I knew it was her, don’t you?”

“Yeah, Bro, I know that we tricked you. I’m just mad that she lied to me.”

I was upset with myself. I had admitted it without actually saying so, but I had to continue now that it was out, so I went on with, “She lied because she didn’t want YOU to have to lie in case someone found out. You know that what we did wasn’t right, don’t you?”

“Why wasn’t it right? She’s old enough to know what she wants.”

I thought about what she was saying. Erin and I had never talked about sex aside from those nights where she, Kelly, and I had experimented, and I figured that it was time, so I said, “NO, Erin, she isn’t, and the fact that you and Marie helped her wasn’t right, either. I know why she did it. I’ve had a crush on people, and I even know why you helped her. It was probably exciting. The real person at fault is Marie. She should never have gone along with it.”

“So you didn’t like screwing Kelly?”

I don’t know why, but it shocked me when she said it that way. I still had to answer her, though. “I didn’t screw Kelly. I MADE LOVE to a girl who I thought was Marie.”

Erin smiled for maybe half a second. “But you liked it, didn’t you?”

A little exasperated, I answered, “Yes, she was uhh, fine.”

“Then she’s old enough to do it!”

Now I was getting angry, and I countered, “No, she isn’t, and it makes me wonder about you. Have you been having sex?”

“None of your business!”

Now I was REALLY shocked! I didn’t expect that answer. My mind was suddenly going a million miles an hour. Could my little sister actually be having sex? I certainly knew that it was possible, but for it to have actually happened was hard for me to believe. I was angry at first. I wanted to find out who it was and kick his ass, then I was even angrier at myself. I should have paid closer attention to her. I should have protected her!

I could barely talk when I blurted out, “Who was it, Erin? I mean, when did it happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why should I tell you? You don’t tell me when you screw every girl in school!”

“I don’t screw EVERY girl in school, and the reason that you should tell me is because you’re only fourteen, I’m your brother, I love you, and I need to be able to protect you in case something bad happens. We used to be able to talk about everything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened! I’m just growing up, and I don’t want you telling me what I shouldn’t do.”

I stared at her, and she had a defiant look on her face, but there was another look behind her eyes. Something was wrong, and I needed to find out what it was. We were still sitting at the table, so I got up and pulled her to her feet. She tried to pull away from me, but I held tight and pulled her to me. I hugged her for a minute or two. I asked, “Okay. What’s going on?” once she relaxed

She didn’t answer for several seconds, then she kind of shuffled her feet and said, “It’s this sex thing, Petey. It was fun when Kelly and I first did it, but she soon wanted to do it more. We did it a couple more times, but it was getting creepy for me after a while. She said that she wanted to do it with a guy, mainly you, when I wouldn’t do it anymore. She talked about it all the time. She said that she almost ‘got’ you in Big Bear, but she got scared because of your big thing. She got a book from the library, and it said that big things were okay, and that her body could handle it, so all she talked about was how she was going to get you into bed from then on.”

I frowned and said, “Well, okay, it happened, but what about you? I’m your brother; we’ve always been able to talk about anything. Don’t you think that you should have talked with me before you had sex?”

“Would you have tried to talk me out of it?”

“Probably, but I would have taught you how to be careful, and I wouldn’t have lied to you if you had questions.”

“Would you have wanted to know who the guy was?”

“Of course, I would. You’re only fourteen. I would want to make sure that it wasn’t someone who was trying to take advantage of you.”

“What if you didn’t approve of the guy?”

“Then I would have tried to talk you out of it, but I would have asked you to be careful if you had your mind made up, and I would have been there for you if you in case you needed me.”

I was still holding her, and she didn’t say anything for a while, but I was going crazy inside. I wanted to find out who the guy was and break him into little pieces in spite of what I told her. Then an even worse possibility hit me. What if there was more than one guy? What if she had been doing a lot of guys? I suddenly had a terrible ache in my gut. How could I have missed this? How could this sweet girl, a girl who I had grown up with, be someone I didn’t even know? All these thoughts were bouncing around in my head when she hugged me and said, “Petey?”

“Yes.”

“I love you, too. We haven’t talked about sex, and I needed to know how you would act. I wouldn’t do anything without talking to you first. I haven’t had sex with any guys. Kelly is the only one I fooled around with, and we haven’t even done that for a while. Sure, I wondered about sex with guys. The girls at school talk about it all the time, but it seems kind of, well, icky to tell the truth. It was fun when I touched your thing, but the thought of touching some other guy that way seems weird. Maybe my mind will change when I’m older, but getting on the swimming team sounds like a lot more fun right now. Does that make me a lesbian or something?”

It was like someone lifted a huge weight off me when Erin said that, but I still had to take a deep breath in order to talk. I answered, “No, Sis, it makes you fourteen, and that’s just fine, but I’m curious. Why haven’t you talked with Amy about this?”

“I have. She told me that you would say exactly what you did, but I had to hear it from you.”

“So she knows about Kelly and me?”

“No, we talked about this a while back.”

“You seemed kind of angry when we first started talking just now. How come?”

“I don’t know, Petey. I’ve had some time to think about things. I helped her fool you Friday night, and it seemed like fun at the time, but I’m a little ashamed of myself this morning. Plus, I’m upset with Kelly. I think that things have changed between her and me, and I want things to be like they were before.”

It was amazing how quickly my stomach ache went away. She still had her arms around me, and I realized how much I loved my sister again as I looked down at the top of her beautiful blond head. Mom once told me that thirteen and fourteen were tough times for a girl. I don’t really know why, but I promised myself that I would pay more attention to her from now on, and try to be there in case she needed me.

Something then occurred to me, and I lifted her head so that she could look at me. “I’m curious about something. Are you bothered about the way I behave with girls?”

She seemed to think for a minute, then she shook her head. “I was for a while -- I guess that I was sort of jealous. It was kind of confusing when we were at Aunt Kate’s. First, you were going with Della, then it suddenly was Sam. Della was kind of weird, but I really liked Sam. Tammy then came along, and I guess that you were with both of them for a while, then we moved here, and you started dating Kristen. Kristen is nice, but I was never able to get close to her for some reason. You then started dating Karen and I liked her a lot. I think that we could have been good friends, and I was really sorry to see her leave, but to answer your question, no, I’m not upset with you. You’re a good guy, and it’s kinda neat to have a big brother like you. Every girl in school wants to go out with you, so even the senior girls are nice to me.”

I chuckled, then I said, “Well, it won’t be long before I start getting calls from guys who want me to put in a word with you, but what are you going to do about Kelly in the meantime? She’s been a good friend for quite a while, after all.”

She sighed and shook her head, then she said, “Yeah, you’re right. I guess that I’ll call her and pretend that I don’t know what really happened, but I know her. It won’t be long before she tells me about it.”

Erin kissed my on the cheek and said, “Thanks, big brother,” and she disappeared into her room. She stuck her head back into the kitchen two minutes later. “I’m going to Kelly’s house. I’ll be home later.”

I’d already made a big dent in the mess in the kitchen when I heard Amy’s shower start. I know she likes coffee, so I brewed her a pot. I was sitting at the kitchen table reading my science book when Amy came in. She went right to the coffee pot and poured a cup. We didn’t speak. I’m sure it was obvious that I had stayed around to be with her, but she didn’t say anything as she sat down at the table and quietly sipped her coffee. She finally reached over and touched my hand.

“I, uhh, don’t know what to do about, uhh.”

I guessed that she was talking about her brother’s remains, and I said, “Don’t worry; Mom and Dad will be here in a little while. They’ll take care of everything.”

“I, umm, should be able to handle this. It’s my responsibility.”

“You don’t need to be able to handle everything by yourself; you have a family now. That’s what a family does. They help each other when bad things happen. What about your biological mother, by the way?”

“I don’t know what to do about her. She didn’t even know who I was the last few times I was with her. I’m not sure what the news about Alec will do to her.”

It hadn’t sunk into my brain that her mother was that bad off. It seemed that Amy had more on her plate than I realized, so I said, “Talk to Dad; he’ll know what to do.”

Her phone rang just then. Amy said, “It’s probably my office. I didn’t call in this morning, and there are usually some things to take care of on weekends.”

She went into her room to pick her phone up, so I headed for my room to make a call. I was already halfway there when I realized what I was doing. I was going to call Karen! I don’t think that I realized how much a part of my life she had become, and how much I missed her until just then.

I was in my room on the exercise machine, when a thought occurred to me. Nell had left a message for me to call her, and I never had. So I searched around until I found where I had scribbled her number, and I called her. A female voice answered, but it wasn’t Nell, so I said, “Hi, this is Pete Baker. May I speak to Nell?”

There was a chuckle, then, “You have good phone manners.”

“Thank you. Is she available?”

“Well, that depends on what ‘available’ means. You probably also know that she’s married if you know her well enough to have this private number.” It was obvious that the person was teasing me and it was sort of fun, so I replied, “Yes, I’m aware of her marital status. I was inquiring as to whether or not she was available to speak on the phone with me.”

“I see, and may I inquire as to the nature of this call?”

I answered, “Yes, you may.”

There was a hesitation, then another chuckle, and she said, “Very well, what IS the nature of this call?”

Drawing on a recent run in with my English teacher where I was asked to write down every version I could find, of this very word, I answered, “It depends on what you mean by ‘nature’. Are you looking for its Essence, its Disposition, or its Temperament?”

This got a huge laugh. It was a melodious, free-sounding laugh that made me think of Karen, and it went on for a few seconds, then she said, “Okay, I give up! Nell is not here just now, but I’ll tell her that you called,” and she hung up.

She hung up so quickly that I didn’t have a chance to ask her who she was, but her voice was slightly familiar.

Mom and Dad got in around one o’clock, and they immediately went to Amy. Dad sat with Amy after many hugs, and they went through her family’s papers. It turned out that Amy’s father had purchased pre-need death plans for the whole family through something called the ‘Neptune Society’ before he died, so Dad made a few phone calls.

He said that he and Amy had some things to take care of and not to wait dinner after a while, and they started for the door. Amy was walking ahead, and Dad stopped and looked at Mom when he got to the door. She went to him and they kissed. It wasn’t a passionate kiss -- it was just a peck on the cheek -- but the look that passed between them was very tender.

I followed Mom into the kitchen where she poured herself the last of Amy’s coffee, and we sat at the table. I said, “You look great! Did you have a good time?”

“Yes, we did. San Francisco was fun and the area around Carmel is beautiful,” then she began telling me about the places they had been.

I had a chance to take a good look at her while she was talking. She really did look terrific. Her face has good color, and she seems more rested than I’d seen her in a long time. I’m happy to see her looking this good, and I wondered if she and Dad had resolved the Mariani thing, but I was afraid to ask. She asked me about Karen, and my shoulder slumped a bit. Mom touched my cheek and said how sorry she was when I told her about Karen having left. That sort of put a damper on things, so I excused myself and went to my room after a few minutes.

There was a message from Marie on my machine asking me to call her when I got in. I sat for a minute, trying to figure out if I was mad at her about sending Kelly over, but I finally picked up the phone. Her voice was subdued when she answered.

“Hi, I just heard about Amy’s brother. Please tell her how sorry I am. I didn’t even know that she had a brother.”

“Yeah, but he was sick for a long time.”

“That’s what Erin said.”

“So, is that the reason you called?”

“Well, that, and I wanted to tell you what a great time I had Friday night.”

“I see! You had such a good time that you sent your sister over to thank me.”

I meant it as a joke, but her reply was serious. “No,, the reason I did it was because I was worried about her, Pete. I was her age not long ago, and I could see the signs. She’s been talking about sex a lot lately, and I know that it was just a matter of time before she experimented with someone. She been crazy about you from the day you moved in, and I know from what time you and I have spent together that you’d be careful with her, so I told her to go for it when the opportunity came up.”

“So she told you what happened?”

“No, she said that all you did was talk, but I know my sister.”

“Am I going to have a, umm, problem with her?”

“No, I don’t think so. Both you and sex are no longer a mystery. I’m not saying that she won’t try to be with you again, but I think that the urgency has passed. She’s been talking about a guy in her class lately. I’ve met him. He’s a nice kid. Maybe she’ll be able to pay some attention to him now.”

“You mean that she’ll start to have sex with him!?”

“No. I just think that she’ll be able to start thinking normally about guys now that the fantasy of you is out of the way. You were all she talked about up until now.”

“So, I’ve lost my fan club?”

My attempt at a joke worked this time. She snickered before she answered, “In a way, yes. You were becoming an obsession with her. I know how she felt. That’s the way I felt about Rich. He was all I thought about.”

“That turned out badly. Aren’t you afraid that might happen to her?”

“No, I don’t think so for a couple of reasons. She’s smarter than I was at her age, and you’re a lot nicer guy than Rich was.”

“Thank you. So, does that mean she’ll leave me alone now?”

“No, it just means that she’ll be thinking about other guys too.”

“What should I do if she tries another stunt like the other night?”

“That’s up to you. She’s my kid sister, and I think that she’s too young to be having sex, but I know how I felt when I was her age, and she feels pretty strongly about you. How do you feel about her?”

“She’s a sweet girl, and she’s my sister’s best friend. I’ve never thought of her any other way.”

“Not even when you were making love to her?”

“I didn’t know that I was making love to her. I thought that I was making love to you.”

I heard her catch her breath, then she was quiet for a while. Half a minute or so later, she asked, “Would you like to make love to me?”

I didn’t hesitate at all. “Yes.” There was a pause, then, “Well, maybe some day.”

Her voice was kind of shaky when she said it, so I asked, “Is something the matter?”

“Yeah ... my life is the matter. It sucks! My job sucks, and I sit around the house and brood at night. Friday night was the first time I was out with a guy since that asshole in Big Bear.”

“Would you like me to call Jay and give him your number?”

“Uhh, no, not yet.”

“But it’ll give you someone to talk to.”

“Can’t I talk to you?”

I decided to lighten things up a bit, so I said, “Of course, you can, but you need a real guy, not some high school kid who wants to jump your bones.”

I heard her chuckle to herself, then she said, “AHA! So that’s the reason you swept me onto your shiny steed, whisked me off to the ocean, and plied me with cappuccinos. Your evil plan, you cad, was to break my resistance down, then have your way with me.”

“Yup.”

“So, what happened?”

“Well, I was going to take you to my palatial sex den, but then I remembered that my bill at Motel Six was past due, so I took you home.”

“Thus, my virtue was safe for another day?”

“Apparently so, but you were obviously curious.”

“Curious? Curious about what?”

“Isn’t that the reason you sent an emissary over to my place? You wanted to find out if I was, uhh, up to the task?”

She laughed out loud this time, then she quipped, “Well, I guess that you did okay judging from the smile on my emissary’s face.”

We talked for a while longer and she seemed to be in a better mood by the time we hung up. I certainly was. It was pleasant talking with her. I was pretty sure that she would be fun to be with once she got her life in order, then I thought about how she looked, lying naked on her bed again, and I wondered what it would be like to make love to her instead of her sister...

I hit the schoolbooks until around five then got on the exercise machine. I was working out when Erin came out to my room. She just got back from Kelly’s, and she just shrugged when I asked her what they talked about. She looked a little annoyed, so I guessed that Kelly was still being quiet about what went on between us. Erin told me that Mom was lying down, but she would fix the last of the chili if I was hungry. I said fine, and followed her into the house. We were setting the table when I heard a voice from Mom’s bedroom. It sounded like she was arguing with someone on the telephone, then there was silence and she came into the kitchen a minute later. I asked if there was something wrong, and she just shook her head.