Chapter 12

“Luke? Luke? Please wake up, Luke.”

The urgent whispering and the fingers gently prodding his exposed shoulder registered long before he was able to emerge from his REM-sleep fog and grasp that there was someone else in the room. Someone sitting on his bed, cautiously but persistently trying to rouse him to full consciousness. The apartment was close to pitch black — the downpour that began around sunset had only grown heavier, and the dim glow of the microwave’s digital clock was all the way across the room — but he didn’t need to see to know who it was. Her touch, her scent, her voice ... he’d been dreaming about all three before he woke. And now she was here.

“Kathryn? What...?” Still groggy and more than a bit bewildered, he slid backward to lean against the headboard, trying to shake free of the cobwebs. “What time is it? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. It’s late. I’m ... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here, and I shouldn’t have woken you up. I’ll leave.”

“No, wait,” he said, tugging at her waist. Concern over her obvious distress helped him shed the lingering shackles of sleep. “There’s no need to apologize, and you’re here for a reason. What can I do?”

“You’re going to think I’m being ridiculous.”

His first inclination was to offer lighthearted agreement that he usually did, but he sensed that it wasn’t the right time for jokes. “I won’t, I promise. Tell me.”

“I ... I don’t want to sleep alone.”

“ ... okay?” I don’t understand. Why would she be alone?

“Bill’s spending the night in the city. After we left the party, he had some calls to make. They were only supposed to last an hour or so, and I waited at the apartment, but then ... well, to make a long story short, he didn’t come home with me. It was a slow trip in this weather, and there was a lot of time to think.” With a heavy sigh, she continued. “I was lying in bed listening to the rain on the roof, and all I could think about was how romantic I’ve always thought that sound was. The longer I listened, the lonelier I got, until ... until...” Taking his hand in hers, she willed herself to continue. “Until I had an incredibly selfish urge to come over here and interrupt your sleep. Which I shouldn’t have done. Never mind, I am being foolish. I’ll go.”

I remember Bill saying that his calls were postponed by a day. He didn’t seem happy about it, either; it’s possible he knew that this might happen. “You’re not being foolish at all, and of course you can stay here. But ... do you, I mean, do you want me to...?” Be a gentleman. She’s conflicted, and one of the reasons is that this is a difficult, even risky, position to put both of us in. “I’ll move to the couch.”

“No, please don’t. I’d like to sleep here in the bed, with you. But will you just hold me? Not to ... I mean, we can’t have sex. I hope that’s okay. I just ... I need...”

Rather than answering, Luke pulled back the bedding, his invitation clear. His eyes were gradually adjusting to the darkness, and he watched her silhouette as she stood, silently disrobed, and slipped under the covers, facing away from him and shuffling backward until her body was nestled against his. Oh god, she’s completely naked! How am I supposed to put my arm around her without this turning at least a little bit sexual? He held himself still, trying to figure out the best way to give her what she wanted without escalating towards something she didn’t.

Kathryn solved his problem for him, reaching back to grab his hand and wrap it around her body until it was tucked against her neck. His forearm was trapped between the soft interior curves of her breasts, just as it usually was when they slept in this position, and their fingers were tightly intertwined as if he was her only anchor in a turbulent sea.

“I’m truly sorry,” she whispered. “I know this isn’t very easy on you. Me being here at all, but especially me being naked, I mean. But I feel safer and more comforted this way, if that makes any sense. Don’t worry about whatever goes on ... down there. I’m going to try to get some sleep because I have another early start tomorrow, and I hope you will too. Goodnight, Luke. Thank you ... for taking ... care ... of me...”

She drifted off, her breath slowing to the rhythmic cadence of sleep. To his surprise, and despite the encumbrance of an entirely inevitable erection as her buttocks pressed against the front of his boxers, he followed her into the blessed embrace of dreams only moments later.

Waves of pleasure crashed through his body as every nerve’s electrical impulse and every last ounce of blood raced towards the erupting volcano in his cock. Elevating his hips from the bed as if trying to penetrate all the way to her heart, he cried out her name and released a flood of semen straight into her throat. She gulped it down, moaning with happiness as she fed on his life-giving essence, a hand cradling and squeezing his balls in the hope of nursing forth even more of his delicious ejaculate.

Finally spent, he relaxed his muscles and fell back to the bed. A stray hair caught underneath her fingernail, yanking it free of his flesh. Though the pain was momentary and minor, he yelped and instinctively reached between his legs to protect his vulnerable testicles from additional harm...

... only to find his motion stalled by a thicket of hair. In an instant, he snapped awake, staring in shock at the unkempt red tangle obscuring his midsection.

“Kathryn! Oh my god, that wasn’t a dream? But why are you...?” Memories of last night came rushing back, and hard on their heels the realization that this was an unquestioned breach of their agreement. Was this my fault? Did I do something in my dream to force her into this?

With a wet smack, she pulled her lips from his pulsating shaft, swallowed the last of his cream, and moved her hair out of the way so they could look each other in the eyes. Her usual blissful satiety was absent, in its place a half pleased, half guilty expression accompanied by more than a little anxiety.

“I know, Luke. I know. I just ... I wanted to thank you somehow for what you did for me last night. I woke up, and it felt so natural to take you into my mouth that I didn’t even really think about what I was doing until you were close to coming. Please don’t be upset.”

Upset? Dazed, shocked, and confused, maybe ... but upset? “What could I possibly have to be upset about?” Her hand was still wrapped around his rod, which showed no immediate signs of flagging.

“I guess from your perspective there wouldn’t be, would there? I do give great head.” Sighing, she released her hold on his manhood and sat up. “I guess maybe I was hoping you’d be upset enough to give me a reason to feel bad about what I just did. And I’m sure I’ll feel plenty guilty about this later. But right now, I’d like to spend a few more minutes in your arms. My phone alarm’s going to go off pretty soon, anyway.”

Still in a post-orgasmic haze, he reflexively embraced her, caressing her hair, her back, and other less dangerous curves as she snuggled against him, face-to-face this time. “I really mean it: thank you. Last night, I stood at the side of your bed for the longest time, listening to you sleep and trying to talk myself out of staying. But I knew that, if I left, I’d either fall asleep crying or be unable to sleep at all. You made me feel needed and protected when I felt anything but.” For the first time all morning, there was the faint hint of a smile on her lips. “I’m not quite sure why I thought a blowjob was the only way to express my gratitude, but ... well, you got one anyway.”

“Like I said, you’re unlikely to hear any complaints from me.”

“I feel like I should explain what happened, but the full story might have to wait until we have more time. Especially as I’m not even sure I completely understand it myself.”

“You told me last night. Don’t you remember?”

“I only told you enough to talk myself into your bed. I thought you might wonder why I didn’t just spend the night in the city, for example.”

“Well, I admit the question did occur, but we both fell asleep so quickly I didn’t really have time to think about it.”

“Part of it was logistical, because either way I’d have to come back here to get my clothes for tonight’s gala, and driving back and forth early this morning would mean getting even less sleep. Though since I spent well over an hour tossing and turning in my own bed before fleeing to yours, I guess it didn’t matter, in the end. And part of it was that I knew...” She seemed to be struggling to speak her husband’s name.

“Go ahead. It won’t bother me.”

“That’s not the ... well, anyway, I knew that Bill would take a while to calm down before being able to sleep. His calls weren’t going very well, and he was just about as angry as I’ve ever heard him. I knew that, even when he was done, he’d be pacing and fuming and knocking back glasses of bourbon for a while, which was more or less a guarantee that I wouldn’t be able sleep until he could, and that moment seemed a really long way off.”

“That all makes sense.”

“I’m glad it does, because while it’s all perfectly logical, reasonable, and true, none of it is why I came home alone. While he was ranting at the folks in Hong Kong, I did something I don’t usually do during his business calls: I listened. And while it was mostly just the usual bickering about numbers, contracts, and such, I was also hearing between the lines. I realized that he wasn’t furious about the details of their current dispute so much as he was furious because he’s going to have to be there to fix it. Which means he’s going to be away even more than he already has been.”

Shit. Now I feel even guiltier, because I knew this was coming. Should I tell her? No, I can’t. For one thing, it’s not my story to tell. And for another, me telling her that Bill confided in me before her couldn’t possibly seem like anything other than manipulation. I’m not overly proud of all my choices, of late, but that’s a bridge too far.

“At that point, a lot of other clues that I’d missed or ignored started clicking into place. Why he’s been almost parodically solicitous all week. Why he’s been so ... well, uh, never mind.” Luke caught the faint blush that colored her cheeks; it wasn’t hard to guess the reason, and for the first time in a while he found himself oddly free of his usual jealousy at the thought of the two of them having sex. “Why he’s been vague and evasive about his travel plans. And especially why he was so angry on the phone. He’s almost certainly known this was going to happen for a while, but he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to upset me until all my charitable responsibilities were over.”

“I figured all this out while he was still bellowing into the phone, and the first thing that struck me was that I wasn’t mad. Waiting until this week is over is a truly considerate thing to do; me being exhausted and angry all week could’ve been disastrous in any number of ways. But the next thing that struck me was that I wasn’t mad. I didn’t feel any inclination towards anger, or upset, or resentment. Nor am I going to feel them tonight, tomorrow, or whenever he finally tells me the unfortunate truth. I think that, last night, I experienced a a change of heart, or maybe even revelation of sorts, because I’m no longer interested in being angry at him about this. That doesn’t mean I won’t be at some point in the near future, but right now I’m not.”

Suddenly, she reached out to tease and caress his cheekbones with her fingers. The places where she touched him burned like fire, and not just from his rising body temperature. “Your thoughts are entirely transparent, you know. You’re trying to figure out what this means for the two of us. If you do figure it out, let me know, because I don’t have the faintest idea. But I’m about to make it more difficult for you: it’s probably not the most obvious thing, because nothing is going quite the way I expected. Aside from that, I really don’t know what to think.”

Abruptly, she turned to grab her phone. The alarm started sounding at the exact moment she raised a finger to shut it off. Her moment of revelation and her strange reference to expectation was too much for him to handle before coffee, so instead he chose to concentrate on what he’d just witnessed. “Please tell me that was a coincidence.”

“I could tell you that, but I’d be lying. Some people are born with perfect pitch, some people are born with an eidetic memory, and apparently I was born with a clock implanted in my brain. Though I suppose there are worse places it could’ve been lodged. Anyway...” Flinging back the covers, she leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek, stood, dressed, and disappeared into the bathroom in an attempt to make sure she was presentable enough to cross the courtyard. A few minutes later, she was back at his bedside.

“Thank you again for last night, Luke. Seriously. You rescued me from my insanity, you were a comfort when I needed it, and you were ... well, you were kind. If you were paying attention to my ramblings a few minutes ago, you know how much I value kindness, especially when it comes at a cost.”

She was poised at the top of the stairs when she delivered a salacious coda. “And since you already know that I’m inclined to reward kindness with blowjobs, just imagine what sort of reward you could earn by bending me over a table and fucking me until even I don’t know what time it is.”

Though it was very early, even for him, Luke soon accepted that additional sleep had just been rendered impossible.

This has been an incredibly strange week. Luke’s hands hovered over his keyboard, poised to type words he’d forgotten many minutes ago. Actually, incredibly strange is a massive understatement. If someone else recounted the week I’ve just had, I’d probably laugh them off as an unusually creative liar. Accepting that whatever task he’d been trying to complete needed to be restarted from the beginning, he stopped pretending to work and leaned back in his chair. The low hum of the cellar’s cooling units was no match for the cacophony in his brain.

I thought this would be a week filled with work and routine, sexless except for my nightly abuse of the local tissue supply. And then Irina walks in to confront me about my relationship with Kathryn, which is exactly the sort of confrontation I’ve most feared. But instead of it ending in anger, recrimination, and dire warnings, it ends with us fucking each other silly. I keep trying to feel used or manipulated, and I keep looking for dark motivations in Kathryn’s encouragement, but the truth is that I can’t manage either. Even if it never happens again, it was a hell of an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon. Better yet, Kathryn finally has a coconspirator, just as I do with Wendy. Granted, both of them are wary coconspirators — Wendy very much so — but it’s good to know that, if Kathryn actually needs to talk to someone, there’s a person who could listen and advise without being shocked.

Admittedly, learning about their relationship was surprising. But the more I think about it, the more it gives me confidence that things will be alright no matter how they end for us. She and Kathryn were able to remain friends even though they had to break off their romantic and sexual partnership. Maybe that’s something I can hope for as well ... with Kathryn and with Bill ... if our physical relationship comes to an end.

Luke was grudge-watching an abysmal cooking show, yelling exasperated corrections and criticisms at the screen while trying to drag his mind away from the headier topics that had roiled it all day, when he heard the now-familiar thud of car doors. They were followed, only moments later, by a sharp series of raps on his own. Based on the weight behind them, I’m guessing it’s Bill. He scrambled from the sofa and raced downstairs, hoping to catch a brief glimpse of Kathryn in her formalwear before she escaped to the house, but it turned out there was no need. Both of them were at his door.

A moment passed.

Then another.

And another.

Eventually, Kathryn smiled and looked down. Even in the relative darkness, he could see the blush coloring her cheeks.

“I’m not sure, but I think that was supposed to be a compliment.”

“As I’ve learned while working with him, he’s not always particularly good with words.”

“Well, in this case I can’t say that I blame him.”

Finally, Luke managed to find his voice. “Uh ... Bill, Kathryn, hi! I ... uh, I mean...”

“See?”

“I do. I wonder if that was meant to be the same compliment, or a different one?”

“His eyes moved, so I’d guess the latter.”

“Oh? Which part of your body is he staring at now?”

“Bill!” She swatted him in the back. “Behave.”

Rocking back and forth on shoes so highly polished that they reflected the moonlight like a mirror, he chuckled with self-satisfied amusement. “I still can’t say that I blame him.”

Finally, the target of their gentle mockery regained his grip on language. “I’m ... geez, I’m sorry. That was rude. I’m not usually like this.”

“So ... the other day by the pool, while she was wearing that sexy little red handkerchief, you weren’t checking her out?”

“Bill!” she hissed, punctuating it with another swat.

Luke’s blush quickly surpassed hers. “I, uh...”

Resting a hand on his shoulder, Bill spared him additional humiliation. “Son, I can’t honestly blame you for that either. Anyway, let me be candid: while she’s set some pretty high bars in the past, she really outdid herself this evening.”

Indeed, her skin-hugging cobalt blue dress — a bold and potentially risky color for a redhead — was tantalizingly revealing, but in unexpected ways. Most of her midriff was exposed, save for three blatantly suggestive small-link chains that draped across her stomach, around her side, and up her back. Below that was yet another asymmetrical skirt, with gaps that showed off her long legs to fantastic effect. Though the upper portion of the dress concealed most of her neck and all of her cleavage (though its tightness didn’t exactly downplay her assets), the partition below her breasts went all the way up to the lower edge of their swells, teasing and promising but remaining (just barely) on the safe side of delivering. She’d swept her long hair to one side, showing off a glittering ... and enormous ... sapphire earring that matched a rather lavish bracelet and several elegant rings.

“Kathryn, I ... okay, I surrender. You look stunning. I mean, of course you do, but... wow!”

“You know, son, that’s exactly what I said.”

A third swat to the back. “That’s not even close to what you said!”

“I admit to a clumsy attempt to molest you while you protested that I was sullying your makeup.”

A fourth swat, measurably harder this time. “Why are you the only one who gets to stand here without being repeatedly embarrassed?”

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he shrugged. “Because it’s well established that I’m very, very lucky, and also because I’m an outrageously successful lawyer, which means that I lost the ability to be embarrassed a long time ago.” Their shared laughter broke any lingering tension, though Luke still had to force himself not to consume the luscious Kathryn with his roving eyes. “Anyway, as usual we come bearing invitations. Would you join us for dinner tomorrow night? I’m told Sev’s whipping up something special.”

He was on the verge of accepting when he remembered all the revelations and secrets of the past few days. Since they just left her final gala and they’re both in a great mood, he probably hasn’t told her about his travel plans. He’s going to have to do it soon, though, and the more I’m with them, the fewer opportunities he’ll have. Even if she’s not upset about it — and I don’t know if I’m convinced she won’t be — he will be. I don’t really want to walk into that minefield, either. Also, they deserve their time together. I, of all people, shouldn’t be trying to take it away from them.

“That’s very kind of you, as always, but with a great deal of regret I’m going to decline.”

Luke’s peripheral vision caught Kathryn’s brief nod of approval. Bill looked surprised, but he managed to cover it with a joke. “Was it something I said? It was the crack about the bikini, wasn’t it? Seriously, son, how can I change your mind?”

He’s unlikely to give up easily, but I obviously can’t tell him the real reason. So let me try a different tack. “This time, you can’t. Instead, let me propose a compromise: I’ll come over for an apéro. Our dinners together don’t tend to end early or in anything remotely resembling sobriety, and after the week you two have had, I think you deserve a quiet night alone.”

Nodding thoughtfully, as if gradually arriving at the same conclusion as Luke, Bill was about to respond when he was interrupted by Kathryn’s withering sarcasm. “As long as you promise that our meal isn’t going to be completely vegetable-free.”

Bill and Luke’s attention snapped towards her. “That was supposed to be our little secret, Luke,” Bill groused.

“I didn’t tell her!”

“Boys,” she snorted, “you think you’re so clever, and yet you so rarely are. As if there isn’t someone who’s aware of every single ingredient that enters or leaves the kitchen.”

Slapping his forehead, Bill groaned. “Sevinay’s the traitor. She sold us out!”

Kathryn patted his stomach. “You’d better hope she doesn’t get back on the phone with Dr. Loring.”

“I’ve been betrayed to a totalitarian overlord!”

“Yes, because refusing to endorse an all-meat diet is indistinguishable from a fascist dictatorship. Now, let’s go home before I’m forced to reveal everything else Sev’s told me about how you eat when I’m away.”

Raising his hands in surrender, he turned and walked towards the house, still muttering about being sold out. Remaining behind for a moment, Kathryn gave him a weary smile and said, “Thank you. That was yet another extremely kind thing you just did.” Leaning closer, she whispered, “Keep thinking about how I reward kindness.”

By the time Luke managed to swallow, she was already walking away. He admired her retreating form until it disappeared behind their door, then walked back up the stairs, turned off the television, and reached for the box of tissues.

Watching Bill fidget and pace about the room made it clear, at least to Luke, that he still hadn’t told her about the escalating demands for his presence. Kathryn was pointedly ignoring the theatrics, placidly sipping her Champagne and offering occasional half-shrugs in Luke’s direction, as if to suggest that she’d giving up trying to assuage his tension. Luke couldn’t bear it any more, and attempted a diversion.

“What do you think of the Champagne, Bill? Laval is a...”

Like a punctured balloon Bill stopped, deflated, and turned an apologetic face to the others. “I’m sorry for bouncing around like a pigeon on amphetamines. I’ve got a lot on my mind.” Kathryn managed a quick but pointed glance at Luke before returning her attention to her husband, which Luke took as a clue to begin his departure. But before he could go, Bill drew close and grabbed his arm. “Kathryn, would you mind if we had a quick word?”

“Not at all. Should I tell Sevinay we’ll be ready to eat soon?”

“Give me ten minutes. Anytime after that is fine.” Quickly downing his glass and setting it on a nearby table, he urged Luke through the front door and into the courtyard. Luke was still holding on to his glass of bubbly, and despite his distraction Bill couldn’t help but notice.

“Just bring the glass back whenever. Open another for yourself if you’d like, since I’m afraid my behavior cut our social gathering short. Listen: you remember what I asked you to do, right?”

He seems almost desperate, like he’s trapped and doesn’t know how to escape. I feel even more badly for him, and as a result even worse about myself. “Yes, of course. I...” Go ahead. After all, you’ve already decided. Just tell him. “If she’s up for it, I’m going to do as you asked. Or at least offer. It would be fun to get out of the apartment now and again. But I’m sure she’ll be wishing that y...”

“Never mind that. I’m glad to hear it, Luke. You two have fun. Someone needs to. And speaking of which, you know the clause in your contract about your weekly wine rations?”

“You mean the one that wasn’t in the version you sent me and to which I never agreed, yet somehow magically appeared in your version in all its absurd generosity?”

“That’s the one. Let that be a lesson to you: never trust a big-shot lawyer. And if you’re facing two, turn around and run the other way as fast as you can.” He watched Bill’s tension relax into a smile — making fun of his profession always seemed to fill him with joy — and realized it was the first time all evening that he looked happy. “Anyway, I’m going to modify that clause.”