Chapter 7

[Harper’s journal]

JULIA

There is another reason for Julian’s nickname. He’s not effeminate in the least, even if he is a beautiful boy. He is not a girl. He gets attention from other boys and men but he takes it all in and doesn’t appear to worry about it, even when it seems more than friendship is offered. More than once he’s ... OK, perhaps it’s better if I let him talk about that. I first called him “Julia” when I found him browsing through my lingerie drawer one Saturday morning a year or so ago.

Unlike what I’ve heard from some of my friends about their brothers or boyfriends he seemed to be more interested in trying my stuff on than ejaculating in it. Thank heavens for that. Mom assigned me the household laundry a long time ago and I don’t need more work. Come to think of it, given his interest if there’d been a way to do it I probably should have negotiated a change in the laundry assignment, but I wanted to see what “Julia” would make of it if I gave him free run of my underwear.

He looks pretty cute in a bra and panties.

“Julia,” I say to him, “you’re Julia. Whenever you’ve got my stuff on, you’re Julia.” And whenever I feel like calling you Julia, too, but I don’t say that aloud.

To my surprise he laughs. He doesn’t get angry, he doesn’t protest, he laughs.

“Thanks, Urp,” he replies.

I swat at him but I don’t really mean it and he knows I don’t mind. I’ve loved that boy since the day he was born even if I was only four years old then. We’ve had our arguments and we’ve had words, but I’ve never doubted my feelings for him and I don’t think he’s ever doubted his own for me.

Later that summer, a few weeks after I’d first encountered Julian trying on my underwear, it seems so long ago but it wasn’t, not really, one hot afternoon under our favorite tree in the backyard I run my fingertips through the splatters of semen on Julian’s tummy. I have some between my breasts, too, a testament to his enthusiasm and his vigor.

“So, Julia, what do you think?”

His smile, even with his eyes closed, answers my question. Beside us his, no, my, brassière lies tangled in the grass. My panties are hooked around his ankle, he’d been in such a hurry to get them off.

“Wow, Urp.”

I stretch to kiss him. I linger to inhale his scent, now mixed with an overlay of cum and sweat. I feel how wet his skin is and realize I must be just as wet.

“Tell me what it’s like, Julia, when you wear my stuff and someone feels you up. Do you like it?” To judge by our exertions and acrobatics a few minutes earlier he likes it a lot, but I want to hear him say it.

“You know Mel, don’t you?”

I nod. Mel, Julian’s other best friend, has been a fixture in our house along with Julian since they were little.

“I wore that patterned bra and panty set of yours I like so much. You know the one.”

“Oh, yeah!” I answer. “The one with the little--”

He puts his hand over my mouth and I kiss his fingers. “That’s OK, Harper, no need to go into details.”

I giggle when he takes his hand away. “You look really cute in that set, Julia.”

“Your things make me feel real good. Sort of sexy, you know?” I know. “Maybe it’s because your bra touches me, like not just on my nipples, especially when I’m putting it on, in places a t-shirt doesn’t. And the panties hold me differently from my boxers.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “Like I’m someone else or something. Like I’m outside my body.” He shakes his head. “OK, that doesn’t make sense. It makes me feel things I don’t feel otherwise, and I like that a lot.” He laughs. “It makes me hard, too.”

“No kidding, Julia!” I don’t laugh at him, not really. I laugh at the whole idea. My panties aren’t skimpy but they don’t conceal much. They certainly don’t conceal a generous erection. “So, what happened with Mel?”

“Like it wasn’t really a ‘date,’ you know, just two guys out to see a movie. Except I know Mel is interested in guys. I mean, he likes girls, too, he’d dated Susan Malkovich for almost a whole year by then and he told me things got pretty advanced between them. Like third base.”

Julian chuckles.

“Anyway, I’ve known since one of our early sleepovers Mel likes to fool around. We’ve gotten each other off before.” Julian leans over to kiss me. “He feels good, Urp. Really.”

I return his kiss and my hand ventures between his legs. He’s starting to recover a little and that’s good, because I’m really liking this story.

“So, it wasn’t a bad movie. There was an incredible sex scene. It didn’t even show all that much skin but the actors were really going at it, you could tell.”

I draw my hand down his cheek and across his lips. He’s still sweaty, wet. I am, too, but I’m wet and not only from the heat.

“We came back here after the movie. You weren’t around. We grabbed a couple of Cokes and came out to lie on the grass. Right here, in fact. Nothing happened, really, at first. We were talking about the movie, about stuff, whatever.”