Chapter 2

Andy

So there you have it. The little head spoke and the big head went brain dead. No rhyme intended.

When I got home the next day Julia was waiting on me with open arms and a home cooked dinner. I hugged her back and kissed her deep and long. She said, “WOW, Sailor, maybe you should go on a trip more often.” I was doing my best to act normal but it was hard. I think she could tell that I wasn’t quite my self. I told her it had been a long week and I was tired trying to decide how to do what I knew I had to do.

The next day was Saturday, the kids were doing their Saturday thing away from the house.

I finally said, “Julia, can I talk to you for a bit?

She said, “Sure, Honey, what’s on your mind.”

I began my story. “Julia, please let me finish my story, then I will leave our home if you want? I love you more every day and will always love you. That being said, that did not keep me from betraying you and our marriage while I was gone. I had sex with a woman while I was there. I have no excuse other than she seduced me and I gave in to her seduction and charm. I do not love her or want to be with her. I was weak and let it happen. There has been no failure on your part. You are the love of my life, a wonderful lover and the only lover I will ever have. I know I have no right to ask you this, but if you can find in your heart to forgive me, I vow to be the man I was before I strayed.”

Julia just stared at me with a look I had never seen before. I think it was a mixture of unbridled anger, deep hurt and unsure of what to do next.

Julia ... four years prior

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I wanted to break down and cry but the anger I was feeling wouldn’t let me. I was hurt beyond belief. Andy just sat there waiting for me to respond to his confession.

Finally, I said, “Andy, I don’t know what I’m going to do right now. I know that I’m furious with you, I’m hurt to the bottom of my soul and I feel totally humiliated. I have loved you since the day we met. I’ve never been unfaithful although I’ve had a number of opportunities through the years. WHY, Andy! WHY, DAMN YOU! I must be a terrible wife and mother for you to go looking for another woman. Andy, I loved you so much. What did I do to make you cheat on me?

He reached out to me and I recoiled ... revolted at his touch.

“Andy, DON’T TOUCH ME! You probably need to get tested to see if you brought anything home with you. I want you out of the house. I can’t stand to look at you right now. All my brain can visualize is your naked ass pumping what was once MY dick into some whores pussy. PACK YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT, ANDY!! My lawyer will be in touch.

Andy said, “so your divorcing me, Julia? Your not going to at least see if we can come back from this? I’m sooooooooo sorry, Baby. It’s all on me, I know that. All I can do is promise nothing like that will ever happen again. Please forgive me.”

I said, “Andy, right now I have nothing but hurt and rage. Forgiveness is not in my vocabulary and I’m for damn sure no longer your BABY. NOW, GET OUT!

I watched him as he slowly made his way to our bedroom to repack his clothes and gather up whatever he needed to leave our home ... He put his suitcases in his truck and drove away. I was mad but I was also sad. Sad at watching the man I’ve adored for 18 years drive away ... maybe to never return. That thought hit me like locomotive. Yes, he will see the kids but he will no longer be my husband.

After he left, I totally broke down, sobbing like a baby. I got a shot of bourbon and sat down trying to figure what I should do. Revenge fuck is not in my make up. I couldn’t do that. Divorce or legal separation are options. What about the kids? What do I tell them? They both think their Dad walks on water. Do I sell the house? Shit, a million things to think about.

I think I need to talk to Susan. Susan Mitchell is my best friend and confidante. We’ve known each other since grade school. I also will talk to Jake. Jake Jackson is one of the divorce lawyers in our firm. I know he will help.

After conferring with both of them, they said they don’t think I should go off half cocked and make a rash decision. I needed to get to a point where I could make a calm, rational decision on what was best for me and the kids. Counseling could help.