Chapter 2

Julie’s Turn

“So you and Sam have worked together for two years?” asked Sue. This was after we had ordered breakfast from a local restaurant and were waiting for it to be brought to the table.

I nodded, yes.

“And how long have the two of you been an item?” she continued.

“Since yesterday afternoon,” I began. “Although to tell you the truth, I am not sure just how much of an item we actually are yet.”

“Julie,” she exclaimed, “did you not see the way he looks at you, the way his eyes light up every time you say something?”

“Well, kinda,” I acknowledged, “but last night ... I must have told him a dozen times how much I loved him...” before I trailed off.

“And?” Sue asked.

“And ... nothing,” I answered, and couldn’t help let a little of the disappointment I felt come through in my voice.

“Once ... he said ‘me too,’ and a couple of times it was just ‘Yes,’ and several more times he said ... he actually said...”

“What did he say?” Sue asked.

“What was the name of that old, old movie where these two people love each other but the guy can never actually say he loves her, always just says, ‘Ditto?’ Then he dies and comes back as a ghost?”

“Ghost,” said Sue.

“Yeah, he comes back as a ghost,” I agreed. “That movie.”

“No, the name of the movie was ‘Ghost.’” Sue answered. “And it’s not THAT old of a movie.”

“Oh, sorry, Sue,” I answered a little sheepishly, “Anyway, a couple of times Sam just said, ‘Ditto,’ when I told him I love him.”

“Julie, listen to me,” Sue said. “Sam lost the only woman he ever thought he would love. And now here he is with you. Don’t you think he has got to be questioning himself just a little? Wondering if what he is feeling – and believe me, Sweetheart, I can see the look in his eyes even if you can’t – wondering if this can actually be love again?

“Besides, I mean he did bring you here, didn’t he?”

I couldn’t help it! I could feel the tears in my eyes. Luckily, before I could answer, the waitress brought our food.

Before we sat down I had been starving but now all I could do was push the food around on the plate.

“Sue, you know when I joked in the office about Sam kidnapping me and bringing me here against my will, then Sam said he had done everything but throw me out of his truck?” That all came out in one fast jumble of words.

“Well, it was the truth. Sam didn’t want me here. When I asked Sam what ‘WE’ were going to do today... “Sam even told me ... told me... ‘there is no WE!’ God, that hurt. He also said I ... I wasn’t going to get anywhere within a hundred MILES of Helen.

“It was only when I threatened, several times, to drive my own vehicle up here that he finally relented. The ONLY reason I am here is because I made such a pest of myself. I ... I ... forced him into bringing me here.”

“Girl,” Sue said, while shaking her head, “there is SO much you have to learn about Sam, but I can tell you ONE thing RIGHT now. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY can force that hardheaded, mule brained Jarhead to do ANYTHING he doesn’t want to do.

“Now, why don’t you tell me everything that happened yesterday and why and how you are here now?”

I couldn’t tell Sue about yesterday without explaining about the day before when Sam’s brother called. How I had inadvertently repeated “Sam was married to a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model,” in front of Janice and how the whole store knew within 30 minutes.

About my calling the store manager and arranging for both of us to be off. About meeting Sam in the parking lot and having to confess what I had done. How angry and hurt Sam had been. My insisting on buying us coffee.

How Sam had said he didn’t want to talk about Lisa, after I had asked. Then how he finally did start talking.

“Sam actually talked about Lisa?” Sue asked and I could hear the amazement in her voice. “Bob and I have been trying for years to get him to talk about her. He ... he won’t even mention her name out loud to anyone.”

I told Sue everything Sam had said about meeting Lisa for the first time and we both laughed again about his idiotic comments about her age.

Asking her to dinner that night and going dancing and getting a hug. Then the next day and night and getting a little kiss on the cheek. About the rained out photo session and they bet they made. How Sam said once he saw Lisa take off her shorts and t-shirt and was standing there looking out over the ocean he realized how much he was in love with her.

I even admitted my own comments about the size of my boobs and how it wasn’t the first time I had done so in front of Sam.

And especially how angry he got about that, and made the comments about ‘it isn’t the size of the dog in the fight, but the fight in the dog,’ and how I then accused him of comparing me to a dog.

Sue and I both laughed about that. I also told her his other comments about the difference between boys and men. She nodded her agreement.

When I told her my comments about how he had stopped the story where he was looking at Lisa and ‘perving on her ass,’ Sue laughed out loud.

I also told her what Sam had said when Lisa asked when he was going to collect the kiss, and how he wanted it to be a memorable goodbye kiss but Lisa instead changed it to a hello kiss, then how they made love for the first time on the beach.

“Good God, Girl,” Sue almost yelled, “I can’t believe he told you about that. You are some kind of miracle worker.”

By the time I finished the story with the non-proposal proposal, and then the non-routine Pap smear and how Lisa died a month before she was to retire and they were going to start their family, Sue was again shaking her head.

“That’s only about HALF the ‘non-proposal proposal’ story,” Sue said, “but before I can even begin to tell you the rest I need to tell you some other things first.”

When I looked down at my plate, I was rather amazed to see it was empty. I don’t remember eating at all.

“Did you know that Bob and I were completely opposed to Lisa marrying Sam?” Sue asked.

“Why?” I asked. I was way beyond shocked to hear her say that.

Sue was silent for a minute before she started speaking.

“I actually can’t believe I am about to tell you this, but I have known Lisa since she was about eight. My parents moved to Helen and Bob and I attended the same high school.

“Bob and I started hanging out together. First eating lunch in the school cafeteria, then gradually I started coming over to the hotel in the afternoon. By the time we were seniors ... a lot of nights I stayed with Bob instead of going home.

“Bob’s Mom had died when we were seniors. That would have made Lisa about 10 years old. I ... I became almost an older sister and sometimes a surrogate Mom to her. And I could not have loved Lisa more if she had been my sister or my daughter.

“Then she started modeling. Just locally at first, then someone at Teen Magazine saw her picture and the next thing you know she was on the cover of that magazine. She would have been about 16 at the time.

“When she was 18, she started flying around the world modeling. And soon adopted that lifestyle! Parties every night, staying up ‘til dawn, booze, drugs ... and sex. Having a different partner almost every night.

“She continued that for five years. On her 23^rd birthday ... she overdosed. Three months in an alcohol and drug treatment program and she came out clean and sober for the first time in years. She still modeled, but gave up the alcohol, gave up the drugs and gave up the sex.”

“Sam mentioned Lisa told him he was her first in over two years,” I said.

“One day Lisa called and told us she was getting married,” Sue continued. “We didn’t even know she was dating anyone. Bob asked how long she had known this guy ... and she said a week and a half. And he was a Marine.

“At first Bob and I thought she had relapsed! I mean she was going to marry this guy she had known less than two weeks! I mean who does that? At least if they are not drunk or strung out on drugs. We ... we figured he must be some kind of hulking, semi-literate savage who had managed to take control of Lisa’s mind. Someone who was probably only interested in her money.

“That was one of the reasons I came on so strong the first time Bob and I met Sam. I wanted to find out exactly what kind of person he was and figured the best way was to embarrass him and even try to humiliate him.

“God, did that backfire! I was the one who was embarrassed. But the more I found out about Sam, the more impressed I was. Did you know he has two college degrees? One in history and one in English?”

“No, no I didn’t know that,” I admitted.

“Sam often comes across as this rough around the edges type, sometimes calling himself ‘a poor dumb plumber’s son,’ but in fact he is amazingly articulate and thoughtful ... when he wants to be. In fact, Sam’s biggest problem is often the fact he is TOO thoughtful. He always tries to analyze everything ... including himself.

“Knowing Sam like I do, I can almost guarantee you this. Right now, he is sitting somewhere saying to himself, ‘Julie is 25 and I’m 45. When she’s 26, I’ll be 46.’ And he will keep that up through the years. When you are 45, he’ll be 65. When you are 50, he’ll be 70. When you are 60, he’ll be 80. When you are 70, he’ll be 90.

“And he will be asking himself if he can possibly burden you with taking care of him in his old age. Just give him some time to get used to the idea. And, most importantly, don’t stop ... don’t stop telling him you love him!”

About then the waitress came around to ask if we wanted refills on our coffee. Sue and I both ordered apple pie, with a scoop of ice cream.

As soon as the waitress brought our pie, Sue continued.

“I also told you that you only knew half the ‘non-proposal proposal,’” Sue said. “Lisa told me about that. The real, complete story.

“How she had never been so scared of anything in her life as having to tell Sam about her past life. All the parties, all the booze, all the drugs and yes, all the men.

“‘Sam didn’t say anything,’ Lisa told me, ‘then when I was finished ... I was crying ... he picked me up and kissed me even deeper than ever before ... and said he didn’t care WHO I had slept with in the past ... the only thing he cared about was WHO I was going to be sleeping with in the future ... and he hoped it was with him.’

“Once Lisa realized Sam actually meant it, that was when SHE dropped down on her knees and asked him to marry her!”

“But Sam told me...” I began, before Sue interrupted.

“Lisa made him promise to never tell ANYONE she had proposed to him. And a promise that Sam makes is as good as money in the bank,” Sue added.

“Wow!” I said, “That is SO beautiful. But still it must have been difficult for the two of them to reconcile two such different lives. I mean obviously Sam continued in the Marines and Lisa continued modeling.”

“Perhaps not as difficult as you might think,” Sue stated. “Not when you have two people who love each other the way they did.”

Sue laughed softly.

“You want to know how much Lisa loved Sam?” she asked.

I nodded.

“After the three week honeymoon, Lisa had a photo shoot in London for a week, then flew to Japan for another week,” Sue said. “After giving her a few days to rest, I called her one day and asked how the newlyweds were doing.

“Lisa started crying! I ... I knew that Sam must have done something to hurt her. Really, really hurt her, ‘cause Lisa didn’t just usually cry for no reason.

“I started saying some not very nice things about Sam when Lisa interrupted me. And now she wasn’t crying, she was angry ... at me.

“Once she calmed down, she explained what happened. After she landed in Charlotte, Sam picked her up and drove back to Lejeune where he was still stationed. She had actually slept a lot on the flight back and wasn’t that tired.

“They made love, apparently several times, before falling asleep. Her internal clock was still in another time zone because she woke up in the middle of the night, wide awake. She said when she looked over at Sam, still sleeping, she reached out her hand and put it on his chest.

“Sam halfway woke up, picked up her hand and kissed it and told her ‘I love you, Lisa,’ before falling back asleep.”

Sue didn’t say anything for a minute or two, but I could see the tears in her eyes. I waited.

“Lisa told me, before she met Sam, she thought love was some kind of bargaining chip. ‘I will love you if you do this for me, and you will love me if I do that for you,’ she said, then expressed it a different way, ‘If you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.’ That was what Lisa thought love was.

“‘Lying beside Sam, watching him sleep, realizing how much ... how incredibly much ... I had missed him for two weeks ... my heart actually ached with my love for him,’ is how she put it.