Chapter 2

MODERN FAMILY
PHIL’S FATHER DAY

“Dad! Knock next time!” I heard my mom screech from upstairs at Jay.

Haley giggled mischievously as doors slammed and grandpa yelled.

“What is going on? What were you doing? You know what? I don’t want to know!” Jay hastily retreated from upstairs and was ready to leave.

My mom came following down while tying up her robe.

“You should really have knocked, Dad!” my mom said.

“It isn’t seeing you naked that is a shock. I’ve seen you naked since you were a baby. I changed your diaper when you were little,” Grandpa said but then added, “Well, your mom did, but I paid for the diapers!”

“It isn’t what you think,” Mom tried to explain nervously as she saw Gloria and Manny standing in our living room looking stunned and clueless about what just happened.

“Is it where you were wearing a black dildo strap on a belt and walking around the bedroom in nothing but black leather straps?” Grandpa asked.

My mom said, “Well, yes, but it wasn’t sexual!”

“Were you ordering Luke to kneel and suck a pink rubber dildo stuck to a mirror as he watched his own reflection?” Grandpa was outraged.

“It was a butt plug, and yes I was, but it wasn’t for sexual gratification,” Mom explained that it was to learn to clean one properly.

“Ay, butt plugs?” Gloria’s ears perked up. There was something juicy going on, and she wanted to know what it was. Manny seemed uninterested.

“This is because of your mom, isn’t it?” my Grandfather asked, and when my mom didn’t understand, he explained. “In the 1980s, your mother fucked every salesman that worked for me in the tri-state area. If I sold a closet, then she usually came along with it as a parting gift. You are basically a whore like she was?” he asked.

“I had no idea mom did any of that,” my mom said of our grandmother. My grandma wasn’t a typical old lady that had gray hair and baked cookies. She looked like an older version of Shelly Long and was kind of a ditzy bimbo. She absolutely loathed Gloria and was very jealous of her.

“Me either!” Gloria smiled excitedly.

“DeDe used to make me take her around to glory holes. They were all the rage back in the 1980s. She worked the strip club circuit for a while. She couldn’t get enough sex. You know that T-1000 model I have at home in cedar and pine?” he asked my mother.

“The closet in your bedroom?” she asked.

“No, the one in my garage. Yes, the one in my bedroom. I had that installed just for your mother’s sex toys and gadgets!” he said.

“That’s disgusting! That closet is where I keep MY sex toys and gadgets!” Gloria looked outraged.

It made sense now that I thought about it. Dede Pritchard was frequently inappropriate, and I could have easily pictured her as a bimbo when she was younger.

Now, Manny was rightly disturbed by what he was hearing.

“Trust me, you are a rank amateur compared to her,” Jay said to his current wife. “My ex-wife was a real collector of sex-o-belia. She had antique sex toys from the orient. She had dildos bigger than my forearm!” Jay sounded like he was disgusted.

“Wow, I had no idea she was so interesting,” Gloria usually hated his ex-wife, but she looked genuinely turned on at the prospect of finding out more about that toy collection.

“So this is why Phil is outside in panties? I knew it! I knew he was light in the loafers!” Jay said.

“It takes a lot of strength to submit. Piggy works as a real estate agent, and now he cooks, cleans and does all the housework,” my mom said proudly.

“He also takes care of you in the bedroom?” Gloria made a fist like she was inserting it into a pussy hole.

“With his mouth,” my mom admitted adding “If I let him!”

Gloria suddenly became a massive fan of femdom and wanted to know all about it. “Wait a minute? How do you get your man to do this? He does whatever you tell him?” she asked.

“Oh no, I am a real man. I would never submit to anyone! I call the shots!” Jay said.

“Ay! who says I would need you to submit! Maybe I’ll get a handsome Brazilian pool boy! You say he does whatever you want with his tongue even on the el ano?” she asked as if we couldn’t figure out that meant butthole.

Mom didn’t get a chance to get that far into the conversation. My father walked in the door shaking off his wet panties and shirt. He stripped at the door without looking up.

“I thought I saw your father pull up, but it was just my imagination. If he had, he probably would have come outside and told me I shouldn’t be outside washing the car in panties! You know, I’ve been practicing like crazy all of my car washing skills, scrubbin’, suddsin’, pancake eatin’. Why? Because sometimes I feel like Jay doesn’t respect me as a man.” he finished saying before noticing Jay, Manny and Gloria were all staring at his naked, hairless body and his pink cock cage.

“Hi guys, I didn’t see you pull up,” Phil said with an awkward smile and a wave.

“Ay, what is that on his el pene?” Gloria asked as if by saying penis in Spanish she was being discrete.

“That is my husband’s cock cage. He doesn’t go anywhere without it,” mom replied firmly.

“Oh my gosh, I want one of those!” Gloria was beside herself with how cute his shriveled up cock looked inside the cage.

“You should get one, but you aren’t putting it on me,” Jay promised his new wife.

“Oh but Jay, you would look so dashing and handsome! all that virile male strength locked up for only me!” she rubbed his chest and tried to seduce him. My Grandfather wasn’t interested.

“Do you remember when I tried to get you to wear that peach colored shirt, and you resisted?” Gloria reminded him that he had to be confident in his masculinity to wear something like that.

“Yeah, I did that to win at bowling! This is an entirely different thing!” My grandfather once pretended to be gay to trick someone in a bowling tournament into thinking he liked him just to win the contest. He looked at us on the couch, watching and pointed. “How can he walk around naked in front of my grandaughters? Haley and the other one?” my grandfather often forgot my name.

My mom explained that if someone had a penis, the size of Phils that the only thing that fit was panties. It was a dig on my father’s masculinity.

My dad cheerfully replied, “I look good in fishnets too, Mistress!”

“Yes, you do Phil but be quiet until you are spoken too. Adults are talking,” she commanded him to silence. Dad stopped talking and waited at the door.

“Phil isn’t technically naked, and neither was Luke. They both wear them. Think about how it is keeping Luke from knocking up some girl who is just as dumb as he is? I own my husband’s cock, and he belongs to me. He committed years ago to let me be in charge, and I love him for it, Daddy! He is so not like you. He is sensitive, funny, and charming. I wish he was rugged and strong, but he isn’t, and I still love my Piggy,” my mom explained.

“Ay, Piggy? That is so ah’ cute!” Gloria nearly shouted with excitement. My grandfather definitely didn’t want her getting her heart set on him doing anything like this.

“As a present for Phil this year I told my family that we have a female led relationship. We have a female-led household, and the girls are in charge!” my mom explained.

Jay definitely didn’t like that. He said something about fooling with the natural order of things.

“Hey, that is the way things are. I am the CEO of your business now,” my mom reminded him that it worked just fine. My mom said she was a hot wife, and that was just how it is.

“Aye, what is a Hot Wife?” Gloria picked up on that word and liked it very much. She admired my mother for putting my dad in his place and I could tell she wanted that very much for her relationship with my grandfather. My grandfather could tell as well and he definitely didn’t want that.

“It means a wife that can have sex with whoever she wants,” my mom explained.

“You are not going to be a hot wife, Gloria!” Jay warned his wife.

“No, I am not,” Gloria said bitterly “I want to be a HOTTER wife,” she quipped enthusiastically.

“You told your family, but you didn’t tell me? Do Cam and Mitch know?” Grandpa asked as he ignored Gloria’s obvious interest in my mom’s lifestyle.

“I think they suspect. I assumed you knew I wore the pants in the family. I am happy to do a demonstration of how it works, but the girls aren’t involved in anything sexual. The most they can do is spank their father and brother,” my mom said.

“Ay, I wish I could have spanked my father and brothers when I was younger! This is Muy maravilloso!” Gloria was excited.

“I have so many questions, and at the same time, I don’t want to know any more! Nope,” My dad had to sit down to contemplate.

The doorbell rang, and my father opened the door almost entirely nude with only his cock cage on as if it were perfectly normal. “Well, Hello, Sailor!” he smiled.

“You ain’t the bitch that organizing the gang bang is you?” the large black man at the door asked.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” My dad asked with confidence before saying that she was inside and to come in.

“Dad, you should probably get going. We can talk more about this later,” my mom realized that it was one of her guests arriving early and became concerned.

The black man looked puzzled to see so many of us there. “Who the bitch about to get fucked?” he looked at Gloria and hoped it was her. Gloria shook her head, no.

Then he looked at my sister Haley, and she shook her head no.

He looked at me but not for very long before looking at my mom. My mom shook her head, yes.

“Okay den, and deez other people here for this gang bang? because this is the freakiest thing, I ever did off Craigslist if so!” He looked at Manny as if he couldn’t believe he was here for this.

“No, this is my family,” mom said that some of them were just leaving in her passive aggressive way where she clenches her jaw and stares at the door. Jay could take a hint, and he wanted to leave anyway.

However, there was another knock at the door. Phil opened the door and said “C’ mon in, the Gang bang will be starting soon,” and smiled.

It was my Uncle Mitch and Cam at the door. They stood in stunned silence and looked at my father.

“Oh, you must be here for something else?” he chuckled.

“What is going on?” Cam asked with a look of concern as he walked in.

The black guy who was here for the gang bang looked annoyed and impatient. He began texting on his phone. My sister Haley tried to flirt with him, but my mother put a stop to that immediately. “He is here for me,” she reminded my sister. They were so much alike at times and so competitive. This black guy wasn’t handsome at all. Haley was flirting with him just because she could, and she was bored.

“I used to think you were the deviant because you were gay,” My Grandfather said to his son. “However, your sister has cuckolded her husband and is parading him around the neighborhood in panties!” Jay was shocked and assumed Cam and Mitch would be too.

“Oh, I am so glad they finally came out of the closet,” Cam said.

“Yeah, it was fairly obvious!” Mitch agreed.

“I’ll never understand this younger generation,” My grandfather shook his head in disbelief. Cam and Mitch were judging my father’s choice of cock cage and panties but otherwise content with the decision to come out about the alternative lifestyle. They acted like they had known all along.

My brother Luke crept down the stairs wearing only his cock cage and a pair of my old Strawberry Shortcake white panties. “I cleaned my butt plug. Is it okay if I come down now, Mom, I mean Mistress?” he asked my mother. Mom permitted him to join the spectacle in the living room with a sigh.

I had seen Luke completely naked plenty of times before his training began. He used to run around the house naked joyfully when he was little. I had not seen his actual penis since mom put a cock cage on it. However, I made him take showers and had him strip and change clothes, so I was used to seeing him in just his cock cage.

My grandfather and his family were not. Jay glared at Claire and shook his head in disgust. Gloria burst out in laughter and said that this was the funniest thing she had seen all day since my father walked in the door. Manny looked up at my brother with a sympathetic look of concern.

It had been fun to tease and humiliate my brother at first. Dad thrived on serving the family and looked forward to taking orders enthusiastically as his duty. My brother had been reluctant to obey. Haley had a field day giving him orders and bossing him around I had been a little more casual about it. I definitely made him clean my room and do what I wanted. I was just polite about it and almost never spanked him.

I had never seen Dad without his cock cage, either. I had no idea if he had a big penis or a small one. He definitely had huge long droopy balls. Haley squeezed them and spanked them. I restricted my spankings to just his buttocks. Dad didn’t seem to mind either way. He would always say something like, “Ah, you got me. Yeah, I guess you owe me ten for that. I should have paid more attention to what you were saying,” and then bend over without even being told.

It was hard to tell what Luke had been feeling this past week. I assumed he was ashamed and emasculated because that was what we were doing to him every day.

“Why are you doing this?” Manny asked my brother. A question I had not thought to ask myself. Manny was concerned about Luke.

Luke shrugged that he had no choice. “It really isn’t that bad. I don’t like making choices for myself anyway. Every day I wake up and know exactly what I am supposed to wear and supposed to do, and no one is mad at me for making the wrong choice,” he explained.

“The panties look comfortable,” Manny accepted my brother’s answer.

“They are the best,” Luke agreed with a broad smile.

“I am sorry if I am talking out of turn here,” My father interrupted. “I get pleasure out of giving pleasure to others. If you outlaw giving pleasure to others, then the only people who will please anybody are outlaws!” My dad tried to make his point in traditional Phil Dunphy fashion.

“What my cuckold is trying to say is that if we are happy, why does it matter if we live an alternative lifestyle?”

“Oh, way to glom on to the movement!” Mitch said in his sassy way.

“Oh, tell us about your struggles as a dominant white woman coming out in a world of women just like yourself!” Cam added sarcastically and snapped his fingers.