Horny Things Come in Small Packages

by SciFurz

Copyright© 2019 by SciFurz

Humor Story: Second in my collection of short stories that I write between drafts and editing of longer chapters and stories. A small stature detective has to investigate a case of young girls getting molested at the beach because she's the best choice for the job.

Caution: This Humor Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Heterosexual   Fiction   Crime   Humor   .

‘I hate this!’ said Ursa as she slammed her badge and gun down on her desk, then slumped in her chair.

Her partner Tilly looked up from her computer screen. ‘Received another reprimand?’

Ursa huffed. ‘If I arrest someone and they resist because they think they’re dealing with a kid playing, I should have every right to correct their mistake.’

‘You kicked another one in his balls?’

Ursa huffed again and glared at her blank screen with her arms folded.

‘You know, just because you can’t find a good guy to get laid, doesn’t mean you should take it out on every guy you meet, whether they’re guilty or innocent.’

‘There are no good guys! They’re either ugly and or old perverts who lust after me because I look like a schoolgirl, or they’re too embarrassed to be seen with me in public because they think they’ll be branded a predator.’

Tilly nodded. Yeah, it doesn’t help you’re from a family where most never grew tall.’

‘I’m so tired of coming home to a piece of silicon with batteries.’

‘Cheer up, One day you can buy yourself a warm skinned and complete male to come home to.’

Ursa grumbled but a file dropped on her desk startled her. ‘Captain wants you to take care of this.’ the young officer said and left to distribute the rest of the files to the other detectives.

Ursa opened the file and her jaw dropped. ‘A child molester!? I have to bag a paedophile!?’ she said and threw down the file. ‘Is the captain making fun of me!?’

Tilly chuckled. ‘Think about it, you’re the best choice to go undercover. And I heard about it, he’s hanging around the beach so why not take advantage of the fine weather and get some sunshine?’

Ursa sighed and leaned on the desk with her fingers in her short and wild brown hair. ‘I could use a break.’ she said and studied the reports. ‘From the vague description he doesn’t seem to be bad looking. Maybe I’ll just take the opportunity to relieve some of my frustration before I arrest him. It can’t be more red-handed than getting caught with his pants down and his dick in what he thinks is a minor.’

Tilly snorted. ‘I didn’t mean stress relief in that way!’

Ursa shrugged. ‘If I have to pick a pervert to get off, I might as well use one that at least has decent looks.’ she said and grabbed her gun and badge. ‘I need something else that’s stiff now. Want to go get a drink?’

‘Sure thing.’ said Tilly and shut down her computer.


Ursa gazed across the beach the next morning. The weather was very fine indeed and she had brought a bag with towel, drinks and snacks, and a couple of kid’s books she’d bought at a nearby book store. Because it was a weekday it wasn’t crowded and she spotted an area where she could sit without anyone nearby. The pervert would certainly take that opportunity to make contact with her.

She walked over to the spot with several sheds and small boats at the edge of the dunes, spread out her towel and snacks and books, and undressed to the flower patterned swimsuit she had to buy at a kid’s section as well. She couldn’t believe young teenage girls wore such a one-piece with high cut at the front of her hips and nearly string at her rear, and low cut at the chest and back. ‘I might as well have tied a few strings of real flowers on me to cover just as much.’ she muttered but she figured she’d attract the attention she needed even better. She put her clothes in her bag with her gun and badge ready at hand. ‘Lure complete.’ she said and walked over to the water edge.

The water felt refreshing against her body as she swam a little while keeping an eye out on her surroundings, and her mood had improved when she came out. She leaned back on her towel to let the breeze dry her and from the corner of her eye she saw a young man in shorts lay down his towel and set up a parasol close to the sheds and a little to the side. She estimated he was a few years younger than her and if he had dyed his half long hair dark blonde from the black in the description he might be the one. His physique was sculpted well enough for her to be glad she could stick to her plan to have a little fun before arresting him.

When he gazed back at her she realised she’d been staring at him and for the first in a long time she blushed and looked away with a giggle. He chuckled, rummaged in his bag, and walked over to the water while winking once at her as he passed her. She giggled and thought “Bingo!”.

She turned on her stomach facing the dunes and used a mirror disguised as a bookmark to keep an eye on him. He returned from the water and shook his head. ‘You dog.’ she said to herself and giggled again. Before he passed her she saw him checking out her nearly bare behind and the big smile on his face. “If you’re not the one I’m going to arrest you just for the heck of it.” she thought.

He unfolded a back rest, sat back, and took a book from his bag. He seemed to be reading for a while but she spotted him glancing at her from behind her own book. “Scouting your prey.” she thought. “Subtle.”

After a bit longer he pulled a roll of cookies from his bag and she giggled again when he struggled with the melted chocolate layer sticking everything together. Eventually he gave up keeping his fingers clean and ate a few cookies before licking the chocolate from his fingers. She wondered what else he could do with his tongue and squeezed her thighs together at the itch growing between them.

She watched him pull a bottle of soda from his bag, twist the top, and receive a sudden shower, and she laughed out loud at his soaked and sticky looks. She clamped her mouth but he’d already heard her and stared at her from beneath his dripping bangs. She laughed again at his resemblance to a wet dog and it was infectious enough for him to chuckle, then laugh at his own misery.

She tried to avoid looking at him and keep a straight face when he passed her again on the way to the water, but when he stuck his tongue out towards her she snorted and buried her face in her towel to stifle her laughter, and squealed playfully when he passed later again and shook his hair once more and sprayed her.

He sat down again, drank the last of the soda left in the bottle, rummaged in his bag, and sighed looking at the sticky cookie mess inside the roll. Ursa almost felt sorry for him, hesitated for a moment, then wiggled her pack of Belgian waffles as she looked at him.

He noticed her, looked left and right, then cocked his head as he pointed at himself. She shrugged and giggled. He chuckled, pointed up at his parasol and gestured next to him. She grinned and her heart beat faster at the thought of the game of cat and mouse going into full gear, as well as at the thought of what was about to come even when she knew it was a bad thing. She looked left and right to see if anyone else was looking at her, then picked up her things and walked over to him.

‘Hi.’ he said. as he looked up at her. ‘I’m Terrence.’

‘Ursa.’ she said and thought “Stupid! You weren’t supposed to tell your real name.”.

She put her things to the side and he helped her with her towel, and she offered the waffles once more after she sat down. ‘Thanks, I hadn’t had breakfast yet and thought I’d have to starve or leave the beach so soon.’ he said and munched.

She chuckled. ‘You could have come back after eating.’

He looked sideways at her and smiled deviously. ‘And maybe lose the lovely view because it became too hot under the sun later or more people filled this quiet spot?’

She bit in her own waffle. “Smooth.” she thought, wondered what other subtle compliments he had in store, and liked the challenge to find out. ‘Come here often?’

‘Only recently since I transferred here.’

“Fits the date of the first report.” she thought and licked her lips. She noticed his attention to this. “I’ll bet you want me to lick something long and hard as well, don’t you? Lick it from one end to the other and take it deep into my mou-” She cursed at the pang of arousal in her crotch and stopped her thoughts in that direction. ‘What do you do then?’

‘I’m sort of a security guard.’ he said and licked his fingers clean. ‘Protecting and serving, that sort of thing.’

She glanced along his upper body and legs. ‘No wonder you have a tight body.’

He blushed. ‘Thanks.’

She nearly choked when she realised she had spoken her thoughts out loud and he pat on her back. ‘Don’t die on me. I’d like to spend my day off without the need to use CPR.’

Ursa cleared her throat, drank from her bottle of water, and chuckled. ‘You mean the Heimlich manoeuvre.’

He looked up. ‘Right, that too.’

She chuckled again. ‘You thought I might drown today?’

He looked at her with large eyes and raised eyebrows. ‘Certainly not! I’m sure you swim very well.’

She looked up at the clear sky and smiled softly at his warm hand still on her back. ‘Want to find out?’

‘Sure. A short race to the buoy?’

‘Okay.’ she said and bolted laughing towards the water.

‘Hey! False start!’ he shouted and ran laughing after her. He overtook her halfway towards the water. ‘You’ll need to swim faster than you run!’

She dove into the water a moment after he did and swam as fast as she could, glad she had lived near a lake since she was born. He looked back at her and grinned when she’d nearly caught up with him. ‘You’re fast, but not fast enough.’ he said and stroked faster into the water.

When they reached the buoy they panted as they hung onto the edge. ‘Not bad at all.’ he said. ‘You’re faster than I expected.’

She grinned and splashed water into his face. ‘Don’t underestimate others.’

He laughed and splashed her back. ‘I won’t underestimate you from now on.’

She laughed and they splashed until she had to take cover behind the buoy. A large wave lifted her up and pushed her against the buoy, and a protruding bolt ripped her swimsuit open at the front. She cried out and another wave pushed her against Terrence. He held her tight with one arm while gripping the buoy. ‘Are you all right?’

Her heart raced at the warmth of his large and bare chest against her small one. ‘I’m okay.’ she said and blushed. ‘But my swimsuit is torn.’ She looked up at his face and his blush made hers worse. A stinging sensation spread on her chest and she noticed a red streak going down from the top of her chest. ‘Ouch! It scratched me.’

‘I have a small medical kit in my bag.’ Terrence said and pushed away from the buoy with her.

“I can still swim, silly.” she thought but she didn’t really want him to let go of her. She watched his serious face focused on reaching the beach. “Or maybe I’m the silly one.”

Back near the sand he lifted her at his side with one arm underneath her behind, and carried her while she wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. One of her small breasts was exposed by the tear in the swimsuit but she didn’t care if he saw. She knew he’d see her whole naked chest soon enough.

He set her down on the sand. ‘It’s best if you lie on your back while It take a look at your wound and treat it.’ She nodded and lay down while he pulled the kit from his bag and sat down next to her. He gestured at the swimsuit halves. ‘I’ll have to, you know.’

She nodded and her heart pounded harder when he pulled the swimsuit aside and exposed her whole chest. It heaved and she sensed the itch that grew inside it. He took his shirt and dabbed along the scrape from her navel to between her breasts until her skin was dry. It didn’t lessen the desire of her skin to be touched and she sensed every little touch of his fingers while he covered the scratch with a strip of gauze and used small pieces of tape along the length to stick it into place. ‘It doesn’t look bad but this is just to protect it for a day or two.’

She nodded. ‘Thank you.’

He smiled gently at her and she noticed his shorts clinging against the bulge in them. One hand was resting on her chest and it filled her with warmth. Her nipples hardened and she knew he noticed it when he swallowed quickly. The itch in her crotch flared up again at the thought of him touching and licking her breasts and she decided she didn’t want to wait any longer. She laid her hand on his and guided him to her small breast. He caressed it gently and circled her nipple with his thumb, then leaned in towards her and kissed her.

She wrapped one arm around his neck, invited him into her mouth with her tongue, and he accepted by stroking hers with his own. His lips caressed hers while his thumb caressed her nipple and her body urged her on to let him touch her all over.

He pulled back gently and kissed her lips twice more before gesturing at his parasol. ‘I think I’d better provide a bit more privacy if you want to continue.’ She nodded and he placed the parasol on its side so it blocked the view from anyone walking by casually, then lay down next to her and kissed her again while his fingers slipped underneath the tear of her swimsuit and stroked her side.

Ursa slid her fingers along his chest, exploring the muscles underneath his skin while they tensed and relaxed in his touching of her. Her touch became more urgent with her increased desire to satisfy her lust with him and he slid one strap of her swimsuit from her shoulder. She pulled up her shoulder and he pulled the fabric further down, and pulled the other strip down her other shoulder when she leaned on her other side. Without breaking their kiss and dance of their tongues she lifted her hips and he slipped her swimsuit from her hips and down her legs, and she pulled down his shorts without looking.

He slipped his arm underneath her, pulled her on top of him as he rolled over, and stroked her back from her shoulders down along her small buns and the back of her thighs. Ursa moaned softly at his warm touch and ground her body against his, and pressed her behind up against his hands when his fingers slipped between her buns and stroked her ass, the edge between her itching mound, and the insides of her thighs. She had no doubt how wet she had become when a soft breeze caressed and cooled her wet mound. She moved down a little and a strong shiver went through her body when his hot tip poked her hard clit, then rocked her hips to continue his tip poking against her.

She shut her eyes and stifled her moaning, increased the force against his tip, then sat up straight, leaned on his chest, and rubbed her hot slit hard along the length of his dick, heating up her whole body from her desire to come on a real flesh and blood dick while her ass was pleasured by firm but gentle hands. The tingling heat inside her grew and she ground harder against his dick, which heightened her desire even more. Her fingers clawed his chest and she couldn’t stifle her moans any longer when her climax neared, and quickly saw red flashing stars in her mind when she came. Her body trembled uncontrollable while she pressed her hot slit and clit down on his dick and let her conscious drift into a void.

Terence smiled up at her when she regained enough control to open her eyes. ‘You really enjoyed that.’

She grinned and panted. ‘I think I made you sticky again.’

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