Chapter 6

It was a Thursday visiting day. Visiting days were always Tuesday and Thursdays and most of the big Holidays. And to be clear, in case I forgot to mention it, when Stephanie had visited me on our anniversaries it wasn’t always on the day per se, just the visiting day nearest to it. At any rate it had been three and half weeks since I’d seen my daughter, and she was sitting across from me now and we were staring at each other.

“It wasn’t the best of reintroductions last time, I guess,” I said, breaking the stalemate. She was beginning to break up.

“Dad, I am so damn sorry. Mom made me see what a bum I’d been toward you,” she said.

“Really? I didn’t see things that way,” I said. “Not hardly.”

“Well, thank you for that,” she said.

“I love you baby, you and your mom,” I said.

“I didn’t realize what danger you’d helped mom out with. I mean those bad men. They were really bad men,” she said. “I mean you saved mom from pri ... them. Right?”

“What did you say?” I said.

She’d been talking kinda fast, too fast maybe, or maybe not fast enough; take your choice. At any rate I’d caught her mistake.

“You know, don’t you?” I said. My tone was singularly cold.

“Dad?” she said. I remained silent. She could sense that I wasn’t having any. She finally nodded, but didn’t voice her capitulation.

“Who told you?” I said. She was tearing up.

“Kinda both of them, but mainly mom,” she said. “But I’m glad they did. I finally know what kind of man my real dad is! You denying me that for any reason was not a good reason, daddy, not close to a good reason. Your reason was a stinking reason! Maybe when I was a little kid, when you left, maybe then; but not forever, not forever, daddy! Okay?”

She’d, my daughter, just now, actually may have saved me from years of hatred and heartache with her reasoning. “So, what now,” I said.

“Nothing. I mean I don’t know. All I know is I’ve got two wonderful daddies. One a hero, one a wonderful provider. And a momma who is so in debt to the both of them that there are no words. But dad, I’m actually pretty smart. You did the right thing. Momma would have died in prison. You suffered are suffering, but you’ll make it out. You’re strong. I know it. I know you can do it. You are a real man, not just some macho asshole, but a real man. And, and, I adore you, sir, I fucking adore you!” she said.

I was beginning to feel real good. Oh yeah. Could something screw it up, my feeling the way I was? Maybe, but not today.

“Okay, okay. I guess it’s kinda okay that you know. I mean since you don’t seem to hate your momma. That was my worry. But, Barbie, no more slip ups. This is a family matter. Keep it that way,” I said.

“Yes, daddy,” she said, and she began to bawl big time. A lot of eyes turned our way.

My visit with my daughter, and I could see her as such once again, was kind of a watershed. I absolutely knew other things were going to come along to fuck me up; it was my lot in life. But for the moment I had a family, maybe, at any rate, and I’d soon be knowing. The one problem was dealing on any level with my ex and her betrayal. Yet, I still needed her, and I could never have her, never again have her. I’d need to be steering clear of her. That was a set-in stone certitude!

“Thank God—I think,” said Stephanie.

“Oh yeah,” said Herbert. “I was really concerned how things would go there. But it looks like Barbie’s faux pas was actually a good thing. Oh yes, we can be thanking God for sure. I mean who else!”

“Hmm,” she said. “So, what now?”

“We take the bull by the horns and try to get him to joins us, the family,” he said.

“Okay?” she said. “But...”

“I’ve got a couple of ideas. If I can get him to buy into them, well, all might end up being well— well,” he said.

She looked at him like she was seeing a crazy man, but then she smiled. “I hope you know what you’re doing because I sure as heck don’t, know what you’re doing, that is,” she said.

“Well, me either, yet, but I’m getting there,” he said.

And then he was here again, Oh, where is here? Why, Winslow State Prison, my fucking home!

“And welcome, welcome,” I said. “You might not know it, but Barbie was here just last week!” I said.

He was smiling. “I know it. She told me herself. And, it sounded like maybe that was a good thing. Do I have that right?” he said. I quit the comedy, well, for the moment.

“Yes, well maybe,” I said. “She’s a pretty sharp cookie. You outta hire her. I mean there must be a place for a nurse somewhere in your empire.” Well, okay maybe the comedy wasn’t quite in the rearview mirror.

“Yes, well, I have offered her a job, but no, not as a nurse, but as an analyst. The same kind of job I am hoping you might accept. Your wife, I mean ex-wife, has told me that you were a genius, I mean are a genius,” he said. Shades of my days in high school came rushing back and that with a vengeance.

“She said you had a scholarship to Wharton that you shined on because of her,” he said.

“Kind of an overstatement, but yeah, I had a scholarship if I’d wanted it,” I said.

“Wharton is one of the best business schools on planet Earth,” he said.

“Yeah, so?” I said

“I’m a business man,” he said. I guess I was supposed to draw the conclusion that he and I were meant by the gods to be together. But the fly in that ointment was the truth that he was currently together with my wife, well, my ex-wife. Oh, and, he had my kid calling him daddy.

“Hmm,” I brilliantly responded.

“Would it be all right if we talked a little about it, I mean the job?” he said. I shrugged.

“Jack, I know, and I know you know, that when convicts finally leave a maximum-security prison, that very few of them get jobs that mean very much let alone pay very much once they hit the street. I know what kind of man you are, Jack. And I know, or think I know, that you are a pretty smart fellow. And, and this is no lie, I need some very smart people helping me in my business. When I met your wife back in the day, I was worth a hundred million. Jack, I’m worth over two billion now. Wanna help me make it ten billion?” he said.

“Fuck, with those kind of numbers whaddya need me for!” I said.

“Because it’s getting harder, and political to boot,” he said. “And, I need guys I can teach to play the game and be around to cover my ass when the going gets tough, especially in the foreign markets.”

“Foreign markets. What is it you do actually?” I said. I was kinda surprised to realize that I really didn’t know very much about the guy that my wife dumped me for. Now, maybe I would. He smiled.

“I buy and sell currencies. I invest in real estate, mostly commercial stuff. And, I dabble in Pharmaceutical and medical research, but I’m actually kinda new in those fields,” he said.

“Kinda a little bit of everything,” I said.

“Yes,” he said. “So, whaddya say?”

“I won’t say your offer isn’t tempting, but I gotta turn it down,” I said.

“But why man? I mean you can write your own ticket!” he said. I weighed the wisdom of saying what I was about to say.

“Because I can’t be around Stephanie. I don’t hate her. I love her still. But because I love her, being around her would have to be a non-happening. We’ve talked about this before.

“It’s been almost seventeen years since I’ve had a woman as you well know. And with the baggage I’m gonna have after I leave this place in, hopefully, no more than three more years, I might never have another woman that I don’t actually have to pay for. And knowing that the most beautiful woman in the world is in somebody else’s bed, your bed. Well...” I said. He leaned back in his seat.

“What if you didn’t have to be around her or her around you—ever?” he said. “That is unless you change your mind and say so.”

“She’d go for that?” I said.

“She’ll fight me on it initially, but yes, she’ll go for it,” he said. I was nodding. I could feel myself nodding, not very positively, but maybe...

“You have offices in more places than just here in Phoenix, right?” I said.

“Yes, several,” he said, “it’s a time zone thing in some of them, but a couple of them are scattered around here in Arizona.” I nodded.

“Okay, if I can work in one of those different offices, I guess I have to accept your offer. Either that or clean toilets in some dive bar,” I said.

“Thank God,” he said.

“Yeah well maybe,” I said.

“But, Jack, I’m obviously going to have to tell her. And when she visits you here...” he said.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I said. “I’ll be gentle, but firm.” He nodded, but it was a worried nod.

“Mom, I’ll talk to him,” said Barbie.

“No, no, you and he have begun the healing process. I do not want to be the one to mess that up. My mistakes are at base the cause of everything. I’ll be the one to talk to him. If he gives an inch, I’ll give a mile. If not; well, then it’s a not,” said Stephanie. Her daughter was shaking her head, but she did remain silent. The two women looked over at the man of the house.

“Stef, the time will come. I think, and I could be wrong about this, but if he had a woman of his own; well, maybe that might be the catalyst for bringing everyone together. He won’t be able to replace you, but if he can find love, almost on any level; it might be enough,” said Herbert.

“Yes, maybe,” she said. “But he’ll be forty-nine years old when he gets out. And with the record he’s going to have...” she said.

“Yes, he’ll have a record, and a really good high paying job. He’ll be a catch,” said Herbert. His wife was shaking her head, but it was a hopeful shaking.

Well my anniversary was but a few days away and today was Monday. Would she come? The guard had not alerted me to clean up, so I doubted it. Maybe tomorrow or Thursday, or, maybe not at all.

And then it was Tuesday.

“Change your shirt, Jackie boy, you’ve got a visitor,” said the guard. I was surprised. Visiting hours were almost over, maybe half an hour to go. I hurried up, while the guard waited.

Dressed, the man led me out and to the hall. It wasn’t her, and it wasn’t him. It was Mickey!

I was more than surprised. “Mick! good to see you,” I said, and it was. She wasn’t smiling, not a whit.

“Yeah, you too, maybe,” she said. “I’ve figured it out, Mister.”

“What?” I said.

“Jack, I never believed that you killed those two assholes. But all of the evidence, your confession, your wife’s statement. All of it. I had to accept it. But there were things.

“One you weren’t the violent one between us. I was. There was not a shred of physical evidence tying you to the place: no prints, no DNA, nothing. The gun did have your prints on it, but it also had one of your wife’s. It was only a partial, and forensics missed it and a few other subtler things. And, there was not, is not, any way to tie her to the killing without a confession.

“You took the fall for her, didn’t you, asshole!” she said. “No, don’t answer that or I’ll have to open an enquiry.”

I remained silent. I knew she was a detective second grade now. She had the resources if she decided to employ them. But she wouldn’t; Well, unless I asked her to.

“Okay, your silence confirms it,” she said. “I guess at this late date you don’t want the apple cart upset.”

“Apple carts are fragile things,” I said, and I was serious, and looking serious I was sure.

“Sir—I mean you fucking hero,” she said. “I have no words. I love you, Mister.”

“Mick...”

“Don’t worry, I get it. I know nothing,” she said. “I’m actually on a case up here, Jack. That’s why I was able to make it up to see you. I have to go, but I want you to know Mister; I will always, always, have your back. My God I will, sir. I mean a man like you... !”

I wanted to hug this wonderful girl, but all I could do was say goodbye as she walked away to catch some bad guys. I wished I could be by her side, but it was what it was. I was a convict and a murderer, but the one person in the world I actually wanted to know the truth now did. I would never reveal that she did to anyone. It was enough that I knew she knew.

The bad news was that some of the cons in the visiting area, new Mickey from the street, just two or three of them, but that would be enough for the few of them to put two and two together. They all knew I’d been a cop, now thy also knew I was still tight with at least one of them, Mickey Hardy.