Chapter 6 - In which feedback circuits are put to the test

It should be noted, perhaps, that I’m not God’s gift to women. At least I wasn’t two years ago, as this first experiment with Jessica took place. Since then, I’ve put the NanoReps to work on my physique and endocrine system and managed to change my appearance and performance quite a bit. I’ve even let them elongate and widen my corpora cavernosa - the ultimate in penile enlargement. At the time, I had all of six inches and pretty average girth; now I’m nearly eight inches and my dick is as thick as my wrist. I’ve ramped up growth hormone and testosterone production permanently so that I can easily build muscle, and I let the NanoReps take care of damaging my muscle filaments just enough to elicit a growth response each night, so that I have the physique of a greek god without needing to take exercise. I’ve even set them to work on my jawline, nose and forehead. But I digress. I wasn’t all that attractive back then, which is why I set things up to skew the odds heavily in my favour. A slightly chubby man in his late thirties ranks rather low with sixteen-year-olds.

While I waited for Jessica’s brain to start simmering with pure sexual frustration, I put on my best aftershave and deodorant, pulled on my best sweater and brushed my teeth. Then I grabbed a six-pack of coke and sauntered over. When I rang her doorbell, I instantly saw areas in her brain light up as she heard it; surprise, a small amount of fear, irritation, incentive salience, motor cortex activity - all different colours in her avatar, that I had set to low opacity and pushed toward the edge of my field of view. I double checked that the feedback circuit from my arousal and salience responses to sub-compartments in her nucleus accumbens shell was active and had the multiplier set to two, and that all her potential for experiencing disgust were turned off. She opened the door, and I gave her my best smile as her eyes locked on mine.

“Hi Jessica”, I said, and felt a surge of excitement go through me at the thought of what I was about to do. Just as she opened her mouth to say “Oh, hello Mr. Wikman”, I saw her brain light up as a christmas tree again in response to the feedback circuit and the prolonged warm-up I had given her; salience shot through the roof, as did dopamine activity in sub-compartments within her nucleus accumbens shell, her ventral pallidum, and parabrachial nucleus of the pons, her insular cortex and orbitofrontal cortex - all the pleasure centres that I had seen glow in the aftermath of orgasm. She blushed and drew breath as if I was the most handsome man she had ever seen. “I just came over to ask if you would like another six-pack of coke. They gave me the wrong kind again today, would you believe it? Even though I called them yesterday to complain.” Blushing furiously, her cortico–basal ganglia–thalamic loop pulsing with activity, she stammered a response and took the bottles I offered her.

I let my eyes take her in, knowing that whatever sexual interest her appearance sparked in me, she would feel twice over, directed at me. My gaze lingered on her chest. After her bath, she had put on a tight tank-top and loose cargo pants, but apparently no bra, so her young perky breasts were well displayed, her nipples hard under the thin fabric of her top. I imagined squeezing them and heard her draw breath even harder, as if I had actually done it. Looking back to her face, I could see her looking confused and trying to mouth a question. “What...” she began, but I spoke over her: “So ... I actually thought nobody would be home. I just rang the bell out of courtesy. I figured I would just put these cokes on your porch. Don’t you have school today?”. I looked her up and down again, slowly, taking in her lean body and imagining how she would look naked. I had a good idea from seeing her reflection in the fogged-over bathroom mirror before. “No ... umm ... I ... I felt sick this morning, so I stayed home, but ... I’m feeling better now.” From the way her brain was firing, it was almost a miracle she could concentrate well enough to string together coherent sentences. I felt myself sporting a raging hard-on, and knew she must be feeling more than twice as horny as I. I didn’t want to make the first move, though. What was keeping her from jumping all over me?

Oh. Obviously. Inhibition. Even strong urges couldn’t outcompete her inhibitory systems, unless... “So ... You’re home alone the whole day then?” I said, just to have something to say while I tweaked her brain a bit more. I used my internal interface to zoom in on the inhibitory loops between her amygdala and prefrontal cortex to see where activity was highest. This wasn’t something I had studied in detail - I just knew that damage in that area caused general disinhibition - and if I tweaked the circuit that was currently showing the highest activity, that would probably be the one responsible for inhibition of sexual behaviour. “Yeah ... I was just about to...” She didn’t get any further than that before I applied the brakes to the inhibitory neuronal circuits I had identified. She lost whatever she was about to say, looked confused for a few seconds as if she was trying to remember something, and then locked eyes with me. It was as if someone else was suddenly looking out of her eyes. They burned with intensity.

“You’d like to fuck me, wouldn’t you?” she asked. “That’s why you came over here, isn’t it? I could see how you were looking at me just now.” She took three steps back and held the door open for me. I smiled at her and came inside. She closed the door and put the latch on, still looking at me as if she was a predator and I her prey. “I can’t deny you’re very attractive...” I ventured, and she laughed with delight. “You’re a fucking pervert, Mr. Wikman, I’ve known that since I was twelve and got breasts, because I’ve seen you looking at me...” she said with a wry little smile. “ ... but I really don’t mind. I like teasing men.”

This was working better than I had ever hoped. By triggering her sexual appetite and causing sexual disinhibition, I had somehow unleashed her inner beast. “Yes, I admit I’ve found you attractive for quite some time, Jessica. You look particularly fine today, by the way. I’ve liked your tits since you were twelve, but they look even larger today than they usually do” I contributed. She gave me a pleased smile and went on; “I don’t know what’s gotten into me today, but I’m horny as hell and for some reason I don’t care that it’s not polite to talk this way to someone I don’t really know. Also, I’m not usually into guys like you, but today you also look particularly fine, as weird as that sounds. You’d like to see me naked, wouldn’t you?”

I just nodded and smiled, while I briefly focused on her avatar and checked that her brain wasn’t showing signs of anomalous reactions. Her sexual interest and appetite-directed systems were showing peak activity, but areas of her prefrontal cortex were almost completely dark. She started removing her clothes without much ceremony, just letting her top, pants and panties drop to the floor right there by the door.

“So you liked my body when I was twelve, did you?”

“I must confess I did. I still do.” I admitted.

“Fucking pedo. That turns me on, though. Why don’t you take your clothes off so I can see you too?”

“I don’t really like that word,” I said as I started pulling off my sweater and jeans, “the proper word to use is ‘hebephile’, since you had started developing breasts by then. But that turns you on, you say?”

“It does. I’m usually weirded out by older men looking at me, but now I’m turned on at the thought of you pining for me. I can’t believe I’m talking like this, but I just don’t give a fuck. I don’t know why I’m swearing like this either, but it just fucking feels good to say it. I want you to fuck me, you fucking pervert.” She took a step closer and grabbed me by the balls and squeezed as she wrapped her other hand behind my neck and kissed me hard. I responded in kind, grabbed her breast and kissed her back. My surging desire knew no bounds. It worked. It fucking worked. IT FUCKING WORKED.