Chapter 43: Family Stories and Pride Part 2

We were in the basement playing with the girls when the first of my brother’s kids arrived. The moms had finished nursing their babies so no one was going to have to deal with Erin’s massive breasts on display. I don’t care how good a Christian you are, big tits are big tits!

We’d brought in all of the Scrabble boards that we brought with us in the bus and we were divided up with three on each of the three boards. The sound of footsteps on the stairs to the basement alerted us that someone was coming. A tall blonde young woman walked around the wall and stopped in her tracks.

“Uncle Paul?” Followed by a scream, announced Leeann’s presence. She ran to me and gave me a huge hug. She was followed by her husband, Tom, and her sister, Debbie and Debbie’s husband John. Leeann always had a thing for me, since my first visit when she was five years old. I sat her on my lap and read to her for over an hour.

“We are just playing a game of Scrabble.”

“On three boards?”

“Yeah, every once in awhile we switch places and take over another players tiles. It keeps things interesting.”

Everyone kept playing as the family gathered in the basement. I made introductions as we played. I introduced Lynn and Erin and Blossom and the older girls. Leeann asked the big question.

“Which one is your wife, Uncle Paul and are the others your babysitters?”

“Um, Leeann, brace yourself.” I said to my curious niece and the others. “This is Lynn O’Dell, my wife. The redheads are our daughters. This is Erin O’Dell, my second wife. The blonde girls are hers. This is Blossom O’Dell my third wife and the two tiny babies in the car seats with the wild black hair are ours. As you can see they are all pregnant. Lynn and Erin with more twins and Blossom with a single.”

The family members stood in dead silence. The lack of sounds coming out of the basement must have been noticed upstairs, because in a few minutes Sam was down the stairs.

“Well, I’m guessing from the racket, that you have met your Uncle Paul’s wives and kids.” Sam said as he rounded the wall at the bottom of the stairs.

“Dad?”

“Leeann, now is a great opportunity for you and your siblings and spouses to show what wonderful Christians you are. I think that you are going to find that your Uncle Paul’s family live a wonderful Christian life. If you can overlook they fact that they are in a polyamorous marriage you can learn a lot from them. And taking the girls shopping is a mind blowing experience!”

Sam’s kids made their rounds to each of my wives and introduced themselves. They each sat down near one of the girls and watched them play Scrabble. At one point, when it was Margaret’s turn, she looked up at Jerry, Sam’s youngest, who was sitting behind her.

“This word or this word?” She pointed out the letters on her block.

“Well, which one gives you the most points?” Jerry asked.

Margaret whispered her answer in her cousin’s ear.

“If I do this word, I score more points, but if I do this word, I score more points, but on the next turn if the letters are open I score triple points on this word.”

Jerry looked at the almost six-year-old and blinked a few times. He looked at her and at the letters and back to her.

“It’s OK Cousin Jerry, I’ll do it this way and see what happens.” Margaret put down her letters and recorded her score on the boards score sheet.

Jerry looked at his brothers and sisters and shrugged.

“I didn’t even see the second word! I feel like an idiot!” Jerry said.

“It’s OK Cousin Jerry. We play a lot and I’m pretty good at it.” Margaret patted Jerry on his shoulder to comfort him.

He broke out laughing and gave Margaret a hug.

“You are now officially my favorite cousin Margaret!”

We all laughed and Sam smiled at me. Lorraine called from upstairs and asked Blossom to join her. Blossom got up and excused herself, leaving Renee to take her place, and tried to run up the stairs, but her belly slowed her to a walk half-way up. A few minutes later Lorraine called downstairs.

“I need some help setting the table.” Blossom announced.

Before the adults could move. My five little girls bolted for the stairs and, if the sound of footsteps on the basement ceiling was any indicator, they were running around setting up different parts of each setting. My nieces and nephews looked at me in wonder. When it got quiet, Lorraine called everyone upstairs. We all rose and Jerry was about to put the Scrabble boards away, when I stopped him.

“Don’t! After dinner, the girls will want to finish the games.”

“Really, Uncle Paul?”

“Yeah, they are a little hard core competing at Scrabble.”

“Uncle Paul, what did the spaceship that dropped them off look like?”

“Jerry, one looked like a tall blonde beauty, and the other a bald headed beauty.”

“Bald?”

“Oh! Yes, Lynn is bald. She must have put on the wig so she wouldn’t freak you all out. She also has a tattoo.”

“One tattoo? On her head?” Renee asked.

“Well actually it is a long flowering vine and it is all over her body ending in a crown of flowers around her head.” I explained.

We went upstairs and had a great dinner of mac and cheese with smoked sausage chunks, and a big salad and gallons of iced tea. There was chocolate ice cream for dessert and then the girls offered to clean up. Their Aunt Lorraine thanked them, but said that the older kids would do it and they should go back to their Scrabble game.

“Paul, your girls are fantastic!”

“Lorraine, they aren’t my girls. Three are also Erin’s and two are also Lynn’s and all of them are OUR children.” I explained again, trying to make our situation more and more acceptable.

I almost said normal to myself, but there is no way in the world that women loving other women was ever going to be normal, because in my mind, normal was what the vast majority did. However, acceptable was another matter. Acceptable meant that the majority could live with what a minority did.

“They do love their Scrabble, too.” Lorraine said.

“Yeah, and you should see them play Monopoly!” I chuckled.

“Monopoly, Uncle Paul? But they are only five or six.” Leeann’s surprise was in her voice and all over her face.

“Sure. Can you think of a better way to teach children about the tool that is money? We’ve bought millions of dollars worth of Monopoly money. Some of the girls are broke but have learned what they did wrong and won’t do it again, because it is no fun to sit by and wait for ‘Home’ to come around. And it’s no fun to always owe money to the sister who loaned it to you.”

“Wow.”

“I says in the Bible that the borrower is slave to the lender. We use Monopoly to teach the kids that lesson.” Lynn jumped in.

“But they are so young?” Leeann said.

“How old do you need to be before you learn to be responsible? Sam? Did you give these kids an allowance for them doing nothing?”

“Absolutely not! Leeann, what did you have to do each week?”

“I had to cut grass or clean the basement or wash laundry.”

“Right! And if you did some of the chores of the others?”

“I got a share of their money.”

“And if you didn’t do an assigned chore?”

“I had the value of the job deducted from my allowance.”

“See Leeann. I knew that my goofy little brother knew how to raise responsible kids.”

“Goofy?” Leeann asked.

“Oh here we go!” Sam said, rolling his eyes.

“Wait! I want to hear this. Let’s take it all downstairs.” Lorraine smiled and laughed at her husband.

She grabbed a big cooler of iced tea and Jerry grabbed a stack of glasses and the family assembled downstairs, surrounding the girls and moms playing Scrabble. Lorraine set the cooler on a table, that was located next to a small refrigerator in the far corner, and Jerry set the glasses next to it.

“Girls? Do you mind if we sit around and talk while you play?” I asked.

“No Daddy. Can we ask for help if we need it?” Paula asked.

“Yes, always.” I kissed my little blonde daughter on her head.

“OK! Now, time to rat out your brother!” Lorraine said with a gleeful look on her face.

I looked at Sam and smiled and said, “Ice Cream Man?”

He laughed and nodded.

“When we moved from our farm to the city, we moved into a duplex. Sam and I had a fight on a Saturday morning before I went to swim practice. He didn’t go because he had to write something for school. When I got home I ran up the stairs, we were living on the second floor of the duplex, and yelled to him that the ice cream man was coming.”

“So Sam, grabs his allowance money off his dresser and flies down the stairs.”

Sam interrupted, “The staircase up to our place was straight. No curves or turns, nothing. You could build up a real head of steam!”

“Right, so Sam goes flying down the stairs and puts his hand out to push on the screen door. Now, our mom always told us, when we push on the screen door, to push on the frame and not on the screen. So Sam puts his hand out and pushes on the screen. The screen breaks and he pushes straight through the frame, hit the cross bar of the frame right at his hips and flips out the door, and lands flat on his back, knocking all the air out of himself.”

“Which never would have happened if you hadn’t locked the screen door!” Sam said.

“Uncle Paul! You locked the door?” Jerry asked.

“Yeah! So he is laying there on the porch, gasping for air and wheezing and making this weird noise. I got to the bottom of the stairs and was laughing at him through the door. As he came around, he was so mad.”

“Yeah I was mad! There was no ice cream man!”

All of my nieces and nephews were literally rolling on the floor laughing. Margaret was laughing, because she had listened to the whole story.

“Daddy! That was a mean thing to do to Uncle Sam.”

“Yes, my little love, it was. But it was also very funny!” I said.

“But I got back at him.” Sam said with a big smile. “I got back bigger than we ever thought.”

I smiled and rolled MY eyes, since I knew what was coming.

“We had gone back to our farm for the summer one year. I was 13 and Paul was 15. We had just had a huge late summer thunderstorm and we were walking down the road towards a small village about three miles away. It had a general store, like in Little House, and we were going to buy something and maybe go fishing in the pond there.”

“The village had a man made pond that had a small hydro-electric dam, and the pond had big crappie and the stream had good sized brown trout. Anyway, we were talking and jazzing each other and for some reason, we dared each other to stand in a puddle and pee on the electric barbed wire fence that kept the cows in.”

“Oh no!” Leeann said.

“Oh yes! So after some goofing, we did it, we peed on the bottom strand of barbed wire and nothing happened, so we both stopped. Then Paul saw that the electric fence was really two wires. One strung behind the barbed wire along the top strand and another along the second from the bottom. So I said, ‘Let’s aim for the second strand.’ and Paul agreed.”

“We lined up again and we stood next to each other. I counted down from three and Paul, began to pee, but I didn’t and when his pee hit the wire, it lit him up like a Christmas tree! He was screaming and shaking and he reached out and grabbed me. Then I was shaking, because for some reason the last person in a shock line gets the worst shock. I was jumping and finally I fell back and landed on my back and laid there. I thought I was dead!”

“So after a few minutes, Paul helps me up and we walked on to the village and went fishing on the dam for crappie. They weren’t biting, so Paul went to the store and bought a mess of JuJuBe’s and he put one on a hook and began to jig it and got a hit right away. We caught about a dozen fish on that stupid candy and then we walked home. We never told our mom about the fence, but several years later, when Jerry was born, I called Paul to tell him that we had another baby, something brothers should do, by the way.” Sam looked at me to emphasize his point. “And he told me that he was sorry, because it was obvious that I had six kids because of him grabbing me by the arm while he was peeing on the electric fence.”

“I did do that!”

“So it’s your fault?” Lorraine said with her hands on her hips.

“Lorraine! Look around you. Who got the last laugh?”

We all laughed at that and Sam’s kids told a few funny stories about things that they pulled on their siblings. Finally it was getting late and it was time for us to load the bus and head for the RV park. We loaded the now yawning girls into their car seats and after kisses from all the kids and adults I cranked up the motor and we drove to the RV park.

Lynn was on the phone to let them know that we were minutes away and when I pulled into the driveway a man came out of the gate house and walked up to my driver side window. Lynn opened the side door and walked around to the man and greeted him. She signed the charge slip and got the keys to the padlocks on the water and electrical boxes and the code for the wi-fi.

I drove to our slot, put the bus in park, and activated the leveling jacks before telling the family what was coming next.

“OK, ladies. I’m going to open us up.” I announced and hit the switches to expand the sides and the bedroom. While the sides were sliding out, Erin and Blossom were getting the girls out of their car seats and Lynn was opening the utility boxes. After the sides were in place, I joined Lynn and hooked up the fresh water hose and then connected us to the electrical jack.

When Lynn and I finished, we kissed and got back on the RV to see the girls gaping in wonder at the huge area that had opened up. Lynn joined her wives in reclining the seats and getting out the pillows and blankets for the girls, after they set each girls car seat in the over head. The girls were all so happy with the open space.

“Daddy! We have room to play games.”

“I know Margaret Erin. We wanted to be sure that we always had room for Scrabble and Monopoly.” I told her as I hugged her.

“And plenty of room for cuddles.” She said as I chuckled.

“Wow!” I heard from the back of the bus.

Margaret and I walked back followed by the girls to find Blossom and Erin on their knees, bouncing on the bed.

“Look at how big it is!” Erin said.

Needless to say Lynn and I were extremely happy and excited to watch our wife’s huge breasts bouncing on the bed as well. They are so large that it looked like they were bouncing in a different rhythm than their owner.

“That looks like fun.” Lynn said.

“And the RV doesn’t shake!” Erin said.

“Alright, alright! Let’s get the kids washed up and to bed.” I was chuckling at Erin’s apparent joy that the RV wouldn’t shake.

We got the girls washed up and they brushed their teeth in turn before each climbed into their seat/bed and we tucked them in. When they were settled, the moms nursed the babies and changed them. They seemed to be enjoying the adventure as well as they were wiggly goofs as they were latched onto the mom’s breasts. Even William was wiggly as I fed him his mother’s milk from a bottle.

After the babies were securely tucked in, the wives and I went to the back of the bus and did our washing and personal care, and then crawled into our bed. The back of the bus had slid back and the bed had fallen into place as designed. It was basically a double queen and we took our places and spent the first night in our RV cuddled and talking about and enjoying the feeling of family.

When our alarm went off we rose and washed and ran the girls through their morning routine, which I supervised while the mom’s fed the babies. When all were ready, I drove us to the diner and was pleased that they were ready for us. We got a corner to ourselves and two servers who were having just a great time taking care of us.

The two older ladies just loved the girls.

“You know, I haven’t heard so many ‘thank yous’ and ‘pleases’ in like EVER! You have a fabulous family.” The eldest server said as we paid our tab.

“And the table is clean! That never happens!” The other lady said.

“Well, we are a very unusual family and we raise our kids to be the kind of people we can be proud of. Besides, we kind of stand out and we want to stand out in a positive way.”