Chapter 35: The Holiday Stories - Happy New Year’s Eve!

The band and I arrived at the Club and I was pleased to see that everything was already set up. Yes, I felt a little guilty too, since I’d spent the previous day in bed hungover. We went to the green room and put on our Father Time beards and robes, finishing off the costumes by putting on a sash that had the old year printed on the front, then we walked down to the stage for our sound check.

When the band was ready, I checked the sound guy and the bartenders and servers, and they gave me the thumbs up. We began to play some funky music and piped it out into the parking lot to signal to the people waiting to get in that it was almost party time. The doors opened and the New Year’s Eve crowd streamed in to begin a night of wild partying. When the majority of the crowd was in I stepped up to the mic as the band dropped its volume, to welcome everyone.

“Good evening! Welcome to New Year’s Eve at The Club-Club! If you’ve been with us before, you know that we always have something going on and tonight is no different. Tonight, we have a friend sitting in with The Savannah Band.”

The place went nuts.

“But first we want to remind you of a few rules. Rule number three, drink wisely. If you think you have overdone it, you can leave your car here in our secured lot and we will get you a ride home. Rule number two, if you need any help whatsoever, for any reason please see our security guys. Remember we don’t allow drugs here and we expect you all to act like the good folks you are. And rule number one...”

The crowd joined in as one and recited rule number three together with me.

“ ... don’t be a dick!”

The crowd went nuts again.

“Now, I suppose you are all wondering why we are dressed up. Some of you young ones, might be wondering who we are dressed up as! We are dressed as Father Time and we are old because the year is old. Father Time ages one year for each day of the year. As the night goes on, perhaps Father Time will morph into someone else. We ... shall ... see!”

With that final word the band broke into “Mississippi Queen” by Mountain. As we played, every once in awhile, there would be this wild guitar solo thrown in and Rodney Strong would hold his hands up. The same occurred for the next eight songs. When we finished the set, the band played a groove and I stepped to the mic.

“Well if you have been paying attention, you might have noticed that there have been a few ghost guitar solos appearing out of the ether. That is because our friend tonight is one of the best-known guitar rockers in the world. When we come back after the break, we’ll have him up and we’ll be shredding the building. Enjoy your drinks, eat some food, and we’ll be right back.”

The sound guy turned up the dance tunes and we went back to the green room to find Blossom playing hostess. She handed out bottles of water and asked if anybody needed anything else, while we took off our beards and robes and looked like our normal selves.

“Holy shit. You have one hell of a voice!” Ted praised me.

“Thanks Ted. I’m just trying to not mess up.” I said.

“That’s the same bullshit he always says, Ted. Just ignore him.” Ronnie said.

“Do you guys have a drink or three between sets?” Ted asked.

“No. Not usually. If it’s a hot night we might have a super cold beer, but in general we don’t drink and play.” Ronnie said.

“People still don’t believe that I haven’t ever been a drinker.” Ted said.

“We aren’t strictly “Straight Edge” guys, but we don’t depend on anything to be able to take the stage. Paul, are we starting off like we talked?” Ronnie asked.

“Yeah, the room is rocking so I say let’s go for it. Ted, you ready?”

“Very much so.”

We finished our bottles of water and I gave Blossom a kiss.

“Paul, we are going to head back to the house. I think that the week of festivities has all of us starting to feel like old pregnant ladies. Ted we’ll see you in the morning for our waffle breakfast.”

“Ok Blossom. Thank you so much.” Ted gave my little wife a chaste hug.

The band walked out and took their places. Ronnie made sure Ted’s amp was turned back on as I walked up to the mic and signaled the sound guy.

“Hey everybody! Welcome to set two of New Year’s Eve. As you can see we are back to ourselves.” That was when Ted began his guitar warble. It started off quietly and got louder as I spoke. “Please allow me to introduce our friend for the night. He’s been around for a long time and has been the inspiration to a lot of players. He comes to us from the great state of Michigan. He grew up in Detroit with The Amboy Dukes, and some of you might know him as the one and only Motor City Mad Man! Ladies and gentlemen, Teeeeed Nuuuuugeeeeeent!”

At that point Ted walked onstage and his warble broke into the opening for “Foxy Lady” by Jimi Hendrix. The place went nuts and the band joined them. I sang the song and we generally ripped the place up for the entire set, playing covers of the songs that Ted had always like to play. When we finished “Cat Scratch Fever” I stepped to the mic.

“Ho ... ly ... shit! Ted Nugent!”

The crowd went nuts again.

“We are going to take a break and then Ted and the band will return for our last set and to welcome in the new year. Stay safe, eat food, party hard and remember rule number one...”

Again the crowd joined in and recited our top rule.

“ ... Don’t Be A Dick! We’ll be right back.”

As I spoke Ted and the rest of the band had left the stage and gone back to the green room to change into our New Year costumes.

After the break, the sound guy killed the dance music and played the opening fanfare from Emerson, Lake and Palmer’s “Fanfare For The Common Man” and we walked onto the stage wearing only diapers with sashes that had the new year printed on them. Carla and Wendy put up a bit of a fuss when we told them that they could not play topless. They both put on white tops that were see-through by the end of the night thanks to their sweating. They were glorious to behold!

During the break, the servers had passed out the champagne to everyone. I looked over at the side of the stage to find a server with a tray full of drinks. She came out and handed a glass to each of us. Our drinks were all sparkling grape juice. We had timed the sets just right and as we took our places on the stage I stepped to the mic as midnight was approaching.

“Thank you for sharing this evening with Ted Nugent and us. We hope you had a good time. The clock is winding down so we would ask you to join us in a toast to the new year. I hope it is better for all of us. Our sound guy is going to put the countdown on the screen behind the stage ... there it is. Join us in counting down to the new year.”

The screen, hung on the wall behind the stage, lit up and soon it showed a countdown clock. When it got down to ten seconds the crowd joined in and we all counted down to zero and everyone yelled “Happy New Year!” and lots of couples, including Ronnie and Carla, kissed. I looked around for my wives and remembered that they took their pregnant bellies home.

For the first time, in a long time, I felt a little lonely, then I remembered my birthday gift and looked at my friends in the band and working in the bar. Ted and I touched glasses and drank our toast and waved to the crowd.

At twelve oh-five we kicked off the third set with Ted doing some more of his own tunes including some of his stuff from the days with The Amboy Dukes. He was really pleased with the band and I after ‘Journey To The Center Of Your Mind’ and was touched and surprised when the band began to doodle around and broke into “Expressway To Your Heart” by the Soul Survivors.

I stepped up to the mic at the end of the night.

“Hey everybody! Once again, let’s give a hand to our friend Ted Nugent.”

The crowd went nuts some more.

“Please see our security guys if you want to leave your car and need a ride home. Also, if you are the designated driver tonight, make sure to let our security guys know. We have a present for you. If you are driving home please be very careful, if you aren’t impaired, there will be some who are, and we don’t want to lose you. Make sure you tip your servers and thank you for not being dicks!”

As I was finishing my spiel, Ted and Ronnie began a little musical doodle and when I was done, they broke into our last song, our favorite jam song, “Oh, Well” by Fleetwood Mac. And when we were done, almost thirty minutes later, we took a bow for the remaining partiers and went up to the green room to find that Blossom had left sandwiches of elk and cheese for all of us.

“Carla and Wendy all I can say is, nice tits!” I applauded them and their soaking wet, white t-shirts.

“Thanks!” Both answered with a very nice shake of their shoulders.

“I was amazed that Ronnie was able to keep playing. And Wendy, your girlfriend was at the front of the stage staring at you the entire set.”

“I know Paul. I’m so horny I’m about to leak all over the floor. Would you mind if I came back tomorrow to get my rig?”

“No, as a matter of fact why don’t all of us take off and come back tomorrow to break down. Ted what time is your flight out?”

“I have a friend picking me up and we are going to hunt in Montana. All I need to know is when you want me at your home for breakfast.”

“Breakfast will be at ten. Gang we can do breakdown after breakfast. Does that work for all of you?”

“YES!” Carla said loudly as she grabbed Ronnie and dragged him towards the door.

I guess she was a little wound up too. Everyone took off and I went to the head of our security.

“Are you ok locking up? I would like to go home and wish my kids and wives happy new year.”

“No problem boss. They left early; are they ok?”

“Yeah Bobby, they are all feeling knocked up.”

“Boss? You know that they know what causes that.”

“They know what causes it, and they love it! Me too. What can I do? I keep getting lured in.”

“Right. Lured.”

“Get home and wish your wife a happy new year too, ok Bobby”

“Yes sir.”

I walked out to find Lynn sitting in our SUV waiting for me with Ted.

“Hi Lover, wanna go home with a pregnant woman?”

“Yeah, I sure do. Ted I thought you would be gone by now.”

“Well I was talking to Lynn and thanking her for the hospitality and to let her know that I would be sending Blossom a gift to smoke. Lynn just told me about you guys’ donations to a charity. I have a few in mind and I’ll send them to Lynn. Paul, you DO have a hell of a voice and I’d love to share a stage with you again.”

“Thanks Ted. Keep in touch with Lynn, she does the scheduling and travel plans for our friends.”

“Will do. Now I just called my friend and he tells me that we are going to be on the road in about four hours, so I am going to miss your breakfast. I’m sorry, but he can’t change times for us. Thanks for the fun time.” Ted and I shook hands.

I got in on the passenger side of the SUV and leaned over towards Lynn and we shared a soft, loving kiss before she took us home, driving through the gate, between the trees and their Christmas lights, and straight into the open garage. As the door came down behind us I got out and walked around to my beautiful bald wife, took her in my arms and held her tight.

“Are you alright, Paul?”

“No. I looked around at midnight and none of the people I love most in the world were there. It felt wrong. Ted and I shared the new year’s toast and I looked over at Ronnie, he and Carla were kissing, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt alone.”

“I’m sorry Lover.”

“Don’t be! Then I remembered your gift to me for my birthday and I looked around. Lonely done’t last long under those circumstances.”