Chapter 17: Someone Call The Cavalry?

DFS was not going to be denied and on the Friday after their visit, they returned to our front gate. Before I answered the intercom, I told Lynn to call the police and ask Detective Ogren to return. After she made the call, I checked the house and had Erin and Blossom take the girls upstairs to get dressed.

“Hello?”

“Mr. O’Dell?”

“None other.”

“This is Ms. Margaret Williams from the Department of Family Services. I have a court order to enter your property and your home for the purpose of investigating the living conditions of your children.”

“One moment while I come out. Please have your IDs ready to be verified.”

I cut off the intercom before she could make any reply. I checked the house to see if any stray little naked girls were running around. The coast seemed clear, so I walked slowly to the front gate.

“Hello. My I please see the IDs of everyone you plan to have enter my property?”

Ms. Williams handed me her ID. I walked to the security camera and held it up, front and back to get a good image of all the data on the card. I repeated the same ritual for her two henchmen.

“May I please see the court order of which you spoke?”

Looking a bit exasperated she handed me the paper and I proceeded to read the document, slowly, deliberately. Ms. Williams was getting antsy.

“How much longer is this going to take?”

“As long as it takes to protect my wives and children’s lives.”

“Wives?”

“Damn it! You didn’t check to see who you were dealing with, did you?”

“I didn’t need to since I had a court order.”

“You fucking moron!” I shouted at her.

We were about to get into it when Detective Ogren drove up with his partner. I had Lynn open the gate and I greeted him and shook his and his partner’s hands.

“Hi Detective Ogren. How have you been? Thank you for joining us.”

“Why didn’t you check his ID?”

“Because, Ms. Williams, I checked it last time when I filed the police report that three pedophiles posing as DFS agents were at my home trying to get to my children.”

“You did what!?”

“I told you I would. I also asked you to look into who you were dealing with and you did not do that. Detective, the fact that they did not check concerns me. Either they are on a predetermined mission or they have faked IDs.”

“Detective, I have an order from the court to enter the home and investigate the safety of the children.”

“Ms. Williams, is it?”

“Yes.” She said defiantly.

“You’re the lady that replaced Angie Alizondo, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Because Angie was handling the case with this family. Before you did anything, you should have checked her records. Let’s go inside so I can inform you of your foolishness before it becomes really embarrassing for you and your Department. Paul, may we?”

“Ok, but you are responsible for their actions. I am letting them in at your request.”

“What? No, you are letting me in because I have a court order.”

“No, I’m letting you in because the Detective has asked me to. If it was up to me, I would tell you to take your court order and shove it up your ass sideways causing paper cuts. I am still not convinced you are who you say you are. When we get inside you will not go anywhere in the house without a police officer being with you.”

“I have myself and two other men, there are only two officers. That will not work.”

“You are a sharp cookie. One of you will remain with me at all times until the Detective can get more of his men here.”

“That is not acceptable.”

I stopped walking and held my arms out stopping everyone.

“Then get off my property and if you attempt to break in you better be well-armed.”

I walked toward the front door when Detective Ogren called after me.

“Mr. O’Dell!”

I stopped and turned towards him.

“Mr. O’Dell, if you can wait for a few minutes I will have four more officers here.”

He smiled at me and lifted his eyebrows when his back was to the folks from DFS.

“Ok, Detective Ogren. When your men get here, I will allow them into my home with these people. I am going inside. Knock when they get here.”

I went into the house and watched the very animated conversation between the Detective and Ms. Williams. She was clearly put off that any normal US citizen would dare to ignore her power and authority. Damn Cartman wanna be.

It only took about three minutes before the extra police officers arrived. Detective Ogren buzzed the intercom.

“Yes?”

“Mr. O’Dell, my officers are here. May we come in.”

“Yes. Please have them ready to produce their IDs when I get to the gate.”

“I will.”

The expression on Ms. Williams face was absolutely priceless. She was still amazed when I arrived at the gate and greeted the officers and checked their IDs. I called Lynn on the intercom and asked her to open the gate. As it rose I remembered that I needed to get that special project started. While everyone got into their cars, I walked back to the house.

When we got to the door, I opened it, and just to be a shit, I asked them to please remove their shoes before coming in. Ms. Williams seemed to shrink in importance when she got off of her 4-inch heels and turned into a 5’ tall petty bureaucrat instead of a 5’4” one.

When we got in I asked Det. Ogren to assign his men to a DFS person and instruct them to stick to them like glue.

“I still suspect that they may be a bunch of pedophiles who think they have found a gold mine.”

“Mr. O’Dell, I simply must insist that you be more respectful of our profession.”

“Which profession is that? The one that breaks into homes and drags kids out kicking and screaming? The one that has a child die in their custody because they never bothered to find out that the child they just took out of a home was a diabetic? Or the one that took three kids from a family and then took a year and a half after the parents had been found to be completely innocent of all wrongdoing to return them to their family?”

“I told you that sometimes we make mistakes.”

“And let me tell you lady, if you take one step out of line this will be the last mistake you make until you forget to put the fries in the bag with the kid’s meal.”

That got her attention.

“Mr. O’Dell, you said earlier that you had wives, plural?”

“Ms. Williams, are you kidding me?” Now it was Detective Ogren that was not a happy guy.

“Detective, please excuse me while I do my investigation.”

“You didn’t do a single bit of background investigation before you came out here, did you?”

“I did what I needed to do.”

“You didn’t even know about this family’s rather unusual and completely legal situation! Or the incident that happened here just a few months ago.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself, so I stood there and let the shit hit the fan and land all over the DFS lady.

“Why are you here?” The detective asked her.

“We got a complaint that the children here were in an unsafe situation.”

“And who made that complaint?”

“Detective, you know that source is not for public knowledge.”

“Just like the source that informed me that you and your two goons were here to kidnap my children and sell them on to sex slavers.”

I stepped towards Ms. Williams and she recoiled before Detective Ogren stepped between us.

“You have nothing to back that up.” She said.

“I have what I know, just like you do. That is why the police are here. They will observe you and the first time you improperly touch one of my children they will protect you from me and my wives, before they drag your asses to jail.”

“This is absurd! Ok! I will make you happy and do everything in front of you. Would you please bring your entire family down here to the family room?”

“Yes, I will, since you asked politely.”

I walked to the staircase and called out.

“Lynn, bring everyone downstairs, please.”

Ms. Williams stood there looking like she had just won her first battle in the war. In a few minutes she was standing in front of my three pregnant wives and our twelve children. She was blinking in total surprise.

“Ms. Williams, these ladies are my wives. Lynn O’Dell, Erin O’Dell, and Blossom O’Dell. These are our children Margaret Erin, Penelope Erin, Paula Erin, Amy Erin, Beth Erin, Clara Erin, Genevieve Lynn, Erin Lynn, Martha Lynn, Wanda Lynn, William Blossom, and Gwenyth Blossom. They are standing in front of their mothers. And as you can see Lynn, Erin and Blossom are all pregnant.”

“They are all twins?”

“All except Amy, Beth, and Clara. They are triplets.”

“I would like to talk to each of the children that are old enough. Which ones are the oldest?”

“Margaret Erin is the oldest.”

“Which one of you is Margaret Erin?” She spoke in a sick, syrupy, sweet voice.

“I am, ma’am.”

“Hi. My name is Margaret also. I would like to talk to you. Is that ok?”

“Sure. Daddy?” Margaret looked at me.

“It is fine baby. One of the policemen will be with you to protect you.” I told her.

“Ok.” Margaret smiled.

Again, the look of pained frustration on Ms. Williams face at having a policeman tag along was obvious.

“Margaret, please take them to the kitchen or onto the back deck if it is not too cool outside.”

“Ok, daddy. Come on, follow me.”

My pride and joy took the officer by the hand and led him out to the deck with Ms. Williams following. The frustration on her face was priceless.

“This isn’t too cold for you, is it?” Ms. Williams asked.

“No ma’am. Not as long as I am wearing clothes.” Margaret answered.

“Don’t you always wear clothes?” Ms. Williams quickly jumped on this.

“We don’t wear clothes when it is only family.” Margaret answered.

“Everybody? Even your daddy?” She had it!

“Yes.”

“Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?”

“No ma’am. Why would it?”

“I mean your father is a boy.”

“I know. Girls have ‘ginas and boys have penises.” Margaret answered as a teacher would.

“You know about that?” Ms. Williams was aghast.

“Yes.”

“So, you have seen your fathers penis?” She had me now.

“Yes. We all have.”

“Has any of you ever touched your daddy’s penis?” Here comes the closer.

“Yes. Taylor Erin did it once. Daddy got mad at her.”